Let's take it from here, a gossip girl fanfic

Hi lovelies,

This a kind of AU, it starts from before season 1 and goes on. Any kind of canon that isn't mentioned in it, forget it exists, okay? Also, this is very long, so you might wanna have the time to read it in its entirety.

In any case, enjoy!

Blair woke up in a startle.

The dream was still vividly flashing in her mind, making her blood pump in her veins, her breathing shallow and her skin stick with sweat. She ran to the window, opening it wide and taking in the cold air with relief.

Blair breathed, slowly. She could barely take in the hot air coming out of her mouth and melding with the cold in a thick fog as a sign that she should get back inside, too focused on the images in her head. In her dream, her father was packing, moving to France. She could still feel the way her heart had clenched in her chest. She could still see herself running around, looking for Serena and finding no one.

A sound outside of her room made her jump. Her parents were arguing again, unaware that she could hear them, again. Blair went back to bed, and pressed her eyes shut until she drifted back to sleep.

The second time it happened, Blair simply opened her eyes.

At the start of her junior year of high school, she had everything she could hope for, considering. She had Nate, she had her minions, she had control; hell, she even had Chuck. And that was precisely the problem. In her dream, Serena was back –which really, wasn't bound to happen since no one had heard about her in over six months. Blair didn't know how she could tell Serena was back in her dream, since she didn't appear in it. It was just a feeling. The really disturbing part of the dream was finding herself in the back of Chuck's limo, dressed in her slip and have his hands pull down her panties.

That wasn't a dream, that was a nightmare.

Yet, the night preceding her seventeenth birthday, Blair came home late. In the empty foyer, she sat on the floor. She processed that she had cheated on Nate, lost her virginity and probably gotten some kind of STD.

And the dream came back to her. Blair didn't know what to do with her body, so she just threw her purse across the room.

"What the fuck is going on?" she asked no one.

Blair managed to bring herself to talk about her dreams.

"I think I'm having premonitory dreams, sometimes" she told Serena.

Serena stretched on Blair's bed, barely awake.

"Don't all of us do?" she asked

"You don't understand" Blair shook her head "They really, really happen"

"Okay" Serena numbly conceded "What does the future hold for me, then?"

Blair bit her lip "A few months ago, I dreamt that you were spending the summer with Nate"

Then, Serena really woke up. She sat up in bed and stared at Blair, looking either hurt or confused. Probably both.

"I'm with Dan, Blair" she said, a hint of warning in her voice.

"I know that" Blair said "I do. That's just what I dreamt about"

"Well, in that case you can rest assured" Serena walked to the bathroom "You don't have a third eye or anything. It was just a dream"

Blair fell back onto her bed, kind of annoyed, but also hoping Serena was right. Otherwise, she would go crazy.

Blair hated herself for crying over Chuck standing her up in Italy.

The first night, she stayed in her bed, angry tears and cries coming out of her, and barked at the staff who dared check if she was alright. She ate more Godiva chocolates that she could ever imagine possible, and she felt pathetic. Only Chuck could ever make her feel pathetic. Why couldn't she have dreamt of that? She shouldn't even have to count on her dreams, she should have known. Meanwhile, Serena was sending a happy picture of herself and Nate getting smoothies under the moon in the Hamptons.

Blair ended up falling asleep, exhausted by the anger.

In her dream, that night, Blair felt older. She was standing in her bathroom and in the mirror, she looked older. That dream was different from the others. Everything was calm, and so very clear. She knew she was dreaming, but she couldn't wake up. Curiosity only made her want to find out more.

Blair touched her face. No wrinkles. She looked like she was in her mid-twenties. She looked good. She looked happy.

In the mirror, she noticed a ring on her finger. Blair glanced down at it, surprised. Was she engaged? Married? Then she looked around. She didn't know the bathroom, but somehow, she knew it was hers.

There was a door on her left, so Blair reached out to grab the handle. Taking a deep breath, wondering what she would find behind, she turned the knob and opened the door. She found a bedroom. Spacious, full of light, with a dressing table full of jewelry and make up, wooden shelves with books on the wall, and a beautiful king-size bed. It was magnificent. Blair was happy to see that she had not lost her good taste in whatever time this was. She stepped in and turned on the spot, inspecting the room in its entirety. It was the best dream she had had in years. It was a dream that showed her she didn't need Chuck Bass. She would be doing fine without him.

When she was back facing the shelves, Blair noticed something she hadn't before.

"Cedric?" she whispered, getting closer.

"Shit, I'm already running late and the dog made me spill coffee on my shirt"

Blair turned around slowly at the voice, crisping her face in horror.

Dan Humphrey had entered the room with a soiled shirt. He walked past her to the dresser that he opened swiftly. Blair swallowed. He looked older too; his hair was longer –and curly? –and he also had a ring on his finger. When he started unbuttoning his shirt, Blair closed her eyes. She did not want to see that.

"I think Alessandra set up another meeting for me after" he said and Blair opened her eyes. He was dressed in another shirt and looking down to his phone "Are you sure you'll be okay, going by yourself?"

"I'll be fine, don't make yourself late" Blair heard herself answer.

That wasn't what she should have answered. She should have answered "What are you doing in my house, Humphrey?"

Humphrey stepped closer to her, and curled a hand around her neck. Blair wanted more than anything to move away, slap him, do something but her body stayed still as he leaned down and kissed her on the mouth.

She wanted to scream.

"Alright" Humphrey said, flashing a smile. His other hand went to rest on her stomach "I will see you both at lunch, then"

And then he left.

Blair woke up, screaming "Unacceptable!"

It had probably been the worst summer of her entire existence.

She had to keep herself constantly busy, because every time she wasn't doing anything, she would see herself living with Humphrey, married to Humphrey, assumingly expecting his child and it made her dizzy with disgust.

Marcus was good enough as a distraction from her dream. Good looks, good manners, good education. Plus, she could bring him back to New York with her, and rub her rapidly found happiness in Chuck's face.

Her plan didn't fail. The delectation of witnessing Chuck's jealousy was exactly what she hoped for, and made her forget about everything else.

It's only when she literally bumped into Humphrey at the White Party that the dream crept back up into her, under her skin, making her shiver. Cursing herself for not looking where she was going, she stood straight.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with as much despise she could feature over her trembling voice.

Humphrey sighed, seemingly as annoyed to see her.

"Have you seen Serena?" he asked.

Blair frowned, and stared. It did seem fair that he was here for Serena. He didn't have stupid dreams like she did. Still, Blair couldn't shake the rise in her annoyance when she heard him say Serena's name. She pointed in a direction without a word, and Dan left without thanking her.

Chuck found her as she was ready to leave, she gave him an ultimatum

"Three words, eight letters. Say it and I'm yours"

Chuck looked conflicted. He opened his mouth to talk and Blair actually hoped that he wouldn't say it. Because if he did, it would be the absolute proof that things don't always stay the same and her silly dream could very well become true one day.

Don't say it. Don't say it.

"I'm sorry" Chuck whispered.

Blair let out a relieved sigh.

It happened again.

She was running from the rain, and took refuge under the threshold of a building. Someone else had the same idea, and wouldn't you know, it was Humphrey. Blair wasn't really surprised, for she was once again aware that it was a dream. And again, she could see everything, feel everything with a fierce clarity.

He smiled at her.

"Hey. It's been a while. How is Columbia?"

Now that was news. Rather than wondering why he was asking about Columbia, and not Yale, Blair focused on not answering him. She heard him chuckle.

"I know how to pick my days" he said looking up to the sky "I was going at The Walter Reed, Sabrina is showing, and I've never seen it"

Blair turned her head to him in surprise. She knew, somehow, that The Walter Reed Theatre is the exact place she was running to before the rain started pouring.

"Looks like I'm going to miss the beginning"

The rain stopped, and Blair started walking swiftly, without a word, without turning back. She could hear his footsteps following her. Of course he would be, they were going to the same place.

In the showing room, Humphrey sat behind her. Throughout the movie, that passed without her realizing, she could hear him laugh, react. Blair understood then that the movie wasn't the important part of the dream; he was the purpose of it.

He waited for her at the exit.

"Well, this was nice. Even though you literally haven't said a word to me"

Again, Blair didn't answer.

"Do you come here often?"

He was annoyingly persistent.

"Every time I can" Blair answered without her own accord.

"I've never seen you. Were you there for the showing of The Cat?"

Blair nodded. He smiled again.

"We should get coffee sometime, catch up"

She must have made a face matching her horror at the idea, because Dan rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Blair. We've both grown up, we're mature. And some people might think it was fate, us meeting this way. Who knows, perhaps we can be friends again."

Again? Dear Lord, what had she done with her life?

"Some people might be illuminated"

"True" he nodded "Well, I think for some reason I still have your number, so I'll give you a call. If I don't, then it's not exactly a tragedy either, right?"

"Right"

Dan laughed, and wrapped his scarf around his neck.

"See you later, Waldorf"

The day following that dream, Blair went to The Walter Reed Theatre, picked Rear Window. She sat discreetly in the back. The entire movie, she watched Humphrey look up at the screen, sitting in the front row.

Blair started watching him.

Every time he would come in her sight, at school, in the streets, anywhere, Blair would watch him. He was always older in her dreams, and she was desperately trying to pinpoint the time. From the way he looked right now, her latest dream couldn't have been set more than two, three years into the future. With that constant observation came a much annoying realization; Humphrey could look sort of nice sometimes. There was the thin curve linking his sharp chin to his neck, highlighted by his Adam's apple. There was the way his eyes squinted and stretched on the corners when he smiled. There was his smile.

When they were announced that The Age of Innocence was selected as the Constance-St Jude's senior play, Blair auditioned for the role of Ellen Olenska. Dan was chosen for the role of Newland Archer, it made her blood pump.

At the first rehearsal, Blair was shaky, uneasy. She couldn't remember her lines when Dan introduced himself –his character –to her. Julian, already persuaded that working with them was a waste of his talent, waved tiredly, telling everyone to take five.

"Are you okay?" Dan asked.

He did so by looking at the script, like he didn't want to make it seem like he cared. Blair just stared. Since he didn't hear her answer, he looked up. Blair was still watching him. He looked cute, she thought, or handsome –something pleasing.

"I think we're going to fall in love"

Dan's reaction was instant, a confused frown taking over his underplayed concern.

"What?"

Blair swallowed, cursed herself, unable to comprehend what had possessed her to articulate such a thing.

"In the play" she tried to save "I think our characters are going to fall in love"

"Umm…yeah" Dan seemed slightly relieved "Haven't you read it?"

Blair lied with a shake of her head.

"I have to go"

She grabbed her purse and ran the other way.

She had dreamt of a simple morning with him. She had dreamt of them meeting after a while. She had dreamt of their engagement party. She had dreamt of the day they decided to adopt a dog.

Of course, she would dream of the first time they had sex.

She knew it was at a party, she could hear the music outside of the dark space they were confined in, and the mingling of several conversations. She also knew it was Humphrey, recognized his neck under her lips after having examined it with her eyes for so long. She recognized his voice, although the sound of it wasn't like anything she had heard from him before. He was saying her name, Blair, low with lust. She was backed up against a wall, he was in front of her.

He was inside of her too.

When Blair realized it, she tightened the hold of her thighs around his waist, her stockings preventing her from feeling his skin on hers. She groaned in frustration against his neck, then in content when she felt him cup on of her breasts over her clothing.

"Fuck, you feel good"

Blair didn't answer, simply let herself go by throwing her head back as he pressed her harder against the wall.

She came without warning, people were still screaming outside and the music was still playing, so it easily covered her moans. She felt Humphrey's breathing erratic against on her lips, understood he was close.

"Yes" she said, encouraging.

A few months ago, she was repulsed by the idea of him simply kissing her goodbye, and now she wanted nothing more than feeling him climax for her.

She woke up before it, unintentionally.

"Goddammit"

Tense couldn't even begin to describe anything that Blair felt whenever she was rehearsing a scene with Humphrey. It didn't even have to be a scene with him, actually. He just had to be in the room for her to lose all sense of acting. She stuttered, for Christ's sake. Even Serena noticed it.

One day, Julian made her stay after dismissing everyone, to try and 'insert the illusion of some talent into her'. Blair wasn't even trying, exhausted by the dusty smell of the stage and the lights, and finally relieved that Humphrey wasn't in her field of vision. The more insistent Julian got, the more Blair played it debonair, just because. He finally left, saying there was no salvation for her.

Bair knelt on the corner of the stage to gather her things, stuffing them hastily in her bag.

"Blair"

His voice stunned her, literally. She heard his footsteps approaching, and she stood up and turned around in the same motion. Then she took a step backward, shooting him a warning glare.

"What, Humphrey?"

"There is something I…" Dan stepped forward again, testing her "Last year, you won the Graham Writing Contest"

Blair let her guard down, just an instant, forgetting not to show her surprise.

"Yes, and?"

"The day they gave you the award" Dan seemed suddenly uncomfortable, he coughed in his fist not looking at her "You read a paragraph and your main character, the librarian; she called that student who was hitting on her a Newland Archer wannabe. You did read the book. You know the story"

Blair didn't know whether to be scared that she had been busted or to ask why he came to the award ceremony when Serena, or Nate or even her own mother didn't. Dan didn't leave her time to decide.

"So what you said, the other day about…us falling in love…"

Blair shrugged "I was high"

"You weren't." Dan replied with confidence "Although it's plausible, seeing how you've been acting lately. I just…is there anything I should know about?"

She had to find another cover story because she wasn't going to tell him the truth. She couldn't tell him the truth. Could she?

"It's complicated" she said, suddenly out of breath.

She had just admitted that there was indeed something to know about. At that, Dan lowered to the wooden floor and sat down cross-legged.

"Tell me"

Blair pursed her lips, half annoyed, half relieved.

"Curiosity killed the cat, Humphrey"

But for some reason, very in spite of herself, she did the same as him, and sat opposite him.

"Alright, Humphrey" she said after a deep breath "I'm going to tell you. But you cannot react, and you cannot leave, and you cannot talk until I'm done. Because, believe me, it is very serious"

She could see he was interested, almost eager to know. She figured it was the writer in him. So she wasn't really surprised that he nodded, agreeing to all of her terms.

Blair told him. She told about how it had started, while Serena was away, and how she dreamt that they would be together one day. She told about how clear and vivid the dreams involving him were, while the others were always so abstract. She looked down to her knees the entire time, waiting for him to stand up, insult her for wasting his time and storm off. But he didn't. He sat there and listened, and Blair could hear his breathing getting louder and louder.

When she was done, she looked up warily. He was looking at her, seemingly not knowing what to say, but he didn't seem to panic or to be annoyed. However, he wasn't talking, and Blair wished she hadn't commanded him not to react. Although, he probably just didn't know how to. The silent tension surrounding them made her nauseous. They just kept staring at each other.

Then the lights turned off, abruptly cutting their exchange. She could barely see him. She remembered the last dream she had in which they were both in the dark and it made her stand up in panic.

"Shit"

"Calm down" Dan said "It's probably the janitor who thought there was no one there anymore"

"Yes, well, time to go. We shouldn't even be here anymore"

She bent down to pick up her bag, and when she was straight back up, Dan had moved closer to her. Her voice died in her throat in the process of telling him to move, leaving only a strangled whimper out of her mouth.

"Were you telling the truth? About the dreams"

Blair laughed nervously "What kind of twisted mind would make up a story like that?"

When the question left her lips, Blair was glad for the darkness hiding Dan's probable pointed look to her. She huffed, hiking her bag on her shoulder and moving past him. He took her by the arm, halting her without turning back. Blair shut down a reflex to yank her arm free, and waited. Dan's fingers around her forearm slid down to her wrist, and then curled around her hand.

Everything felt so heavily still.

"See you around, Waldorf" he finally said, releasing her.

Blair left the stage swiftly, not looking back.

She couldn't believe she had actually told him.

She could even less believe that he didn't call her crazy, or didn't laugh to her face, or didn't tell her to fuck off. She hated what he did instead.

The look he would give her when they met in the halls. Thoughtful, wondering, debating. Blair hated the look because Humphrey wondering if she was fuckable or not was the last thing she wanted in the world. She hated that he held the door open for her now, if they were to meet in front of it, instead of rushing to it and letting it close on her like he used to do and pretend was not on purpose.

The rehearsals were the worst, as usual. The day of the carriage scene was the worst. She had to sit there, listen to his voice, the one haunting her every sleeping moment, telling her that the thought of her –Ellen –burned his entire being. Humphrey was undeniably the best amateur actor of them all, so Blair had to convince herself to remember the words weren't his, the look wasn't his, none of this was real. But it was so close to everything she had dreamt of.

She didn't realize she was staring –gaping, really –at him until she saw his mouth twitch in cockiness, the amused glint in his eyes, and she heard Julian sigh in desperation.

The humiliation rushed up to redden her cheeks, and Blair sat a bit back, away from Dan in the carriage. She asked to start again, and Julian waved in approval, whispering he needed an aspirin. He was moving away already when Blair started to give her line. He stopped and turned back, frowning in interest. Blair was tired of being a stupid little vegetable when it came to be around Dan, so every word she pronounced was carried with fierceness, and passion. It unlocked something inside of her; something like relief. She hated him again. This change of situation didn't unhinge Dan, on the contrary, he followed her with it.

When they arrived at the end of their exchange, they were both a bit breathless.

"What are you waiting for?" Julian's voice sounded like a rushed echo "Kiss!"

Blair turned to tell him to go to hell, but Dan flew forward to hold her by the hips and lean over her in the carriage. Blair forgot how to speak when she stared into his eyes. Dan bent down, and turned his head slightly to kiss her cheek, and make the corner of their lips touch.

He leaned back up, and the people there applauded, including Julian. He was so happy that he dismissed everyone earlier than planned.

As she was gathering her things, Blair was approached by Dan who gave her an apple from the buffet.

"I saved one for you"

Blair glanced around at the three students still there, before taking the apple and dropping it in her bag.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked "Are you trying to seduce me?"

Dan's eyebrows flew up "Jesus, no"

"Then what is it? What's with the looks, and the soft kiss and…"

"I like you" Dan cut off with a shrug "That story about your dreams made me see a different part of you, and I like you now. Serena always said we could be friends, if we really tried."

Blair danced on her feet, annoyed "So you're not uncomfortable about me dreaming that we're going to fall in love and live happily ever after?"

"Yeah I thought about that" Dan laughed "You said that those dreams about me are the only ones that you see very clearly, and that they always seem to happen sometime in the future right?"

Blair nodded.

"And the others that aren't about me, but have actually happened are always a bit blurry, and don't go further than six months into the future" Dan bit into his own apple with a smile "Meaning the dreams about me are probably just dreams."

Blair frowned, dubious "You actually believe what you're saying?"

"I believed what you said, crazy"

Blair snatched his apple away and threw in somewhere backstage.

"You sicken me, Humphrey" she said before moving away.

The awareness of the lie left a bitter taste on her tongue. As if to punish her, she dreamt about telling him she loved him, that night.

Humphrey's theory actually made sense, when she really thought of it. She told him once, in the hallway and his satisfied grin made her hit his arm so he'd drop his books.

"Gee" he had whispered, bending down to pick them up "Be nice, I'm your husband"

Blair rolled her eyes and went on with her day.

Ever since she had started to tell herself that those dreams were perhaps just dreams, Blair got better at being around Humphrey, and interacting with him on stage. Julian was enamored with the two of them, all of a sudden. He said he liked their complicity, which made everybody laugh to tears. Neither Dan nor Blair commented.

They started to get coffee, after the rehearsals. Blair hated coffee in the afternoon, though, so Dan would always finish her cup. He'd read her English paper and she'd go over his Latin homework. Sometimes, he'd ask about her dreams.

"Do we live in a nice apartment?"

"Very nice" Blair nodded "I only saw the kitchen and our bedroom, but I could see I did not lose my sense of style"

Dan squint his eyes, skeptical "Describe it to me"

"I couldn't" Blair shrugged "It wouldn't do it justice. Cedric is there, though"

"No way!" Dan laughed, scratching his chin.

Blair felt all fluffy inside, at how amused and relaxed and kind of pleased he was by this situation.

"Pets?" he asked.

"A dog, and an aquarium with about six fish" Blair passed him her coffee "Which is strange, because I always saw myself as a cat person. But we knew its previous owner. It was an old lady who lived above us, and moved to housing about a year after we moved in, so we took him in"

"That's very generous of us" Dan nodded, untiring smile on his lips "Children?"

Blair swallowed, suddenly uncomfortable.

"None. But we are still quite young, in my dreams" she started gathering her notebooks, and Dan did the same "Although…"

"Although?" he asked, interested.

Blair refused to look at him, and focused on putting her notebooks into her bag.

"The furthest I dreamt of, you were saying goodbye to me by putting your hand on my stomach and you said something like 'I'll see you both later'"

Blair shot her head back up, to witness his reaction. Dan was blinking at her, until his smile reappeared.

He shook his head "Blair Waldorf, knocked up by someone from Brooklyn. Oh, the irony"

Blair laughed –just a little –and pushed him out the coffee shop.

It all changed the night of the Snow Flake Ball.

Blair spotted him at the bar, with his classic tuxedo and two glasses of punch in his hands. Just as he was ready to move away, she swiftly stood next to him and gave him a once over.

"You look rather presentable"

Dan stopped at her voice, and turned to examine her outfit, eyes going from head to toes.

"You don't look so bad yourself"

He gave her one of the glasses he was holding and proceeded to pour another. Blair sipped on the punch, eyes on the brunette standing not far staring at them.

"Who's your date?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"A friend of Aaron's, Lexi"

"Sounds cheap"

"She is apparently" Dan laughed "I've been told that she has this habit of sleeping on the first date"

"Lucky you" Blair bit her bottom lip.

"I don't know about that" Dan grimaced "I mean, I haven't…anyway, it's been a while, and the last was Serena and I don't know if I'm…ready"

His eyes had started to drift away from the bar, onto Serena and Aaron. Blair understood then that he was referring to finally moving on from Serena. It annoyed her that she cared, and the small pit of disappointment in her gut made her sick.

"Don't worry, Humphrey, you'll do just fine"

"Well, your confidence in my sexual exploits is very much appreciated" Dan started to walk away "Although, it is the last thing about me I would expect you to put your faith into"

Blair blushed, just a little and thanked the gods for the white-blue lightning. She watched, though, breath short, as Dan stopped walking and turned around slowly, grinning suspiciously.

"Unless…" he said before pausing "Did you have…that kind of dream?"

"Don't be ridiculous" Blair snapped.

"Uh oh" Dan pointed one drink at her "Busted!"

Blair was fuming, and it was visible so it only made Dan laugh more.

"Thanks, Waldorf, you made my night" he said, walking out with a wink.

She watched him go, until she realized she was being pathetic and she turned away. The entire night, she tried not to look at him, or look for him amongst the crowd. She thought of leaving, but she could already hear the rumor about how she couldn't handle Chuck having shown up with her look alike as a date; when really, she couldn't care less. When she decided that her presence had been long enough to eradicate any unfounded rumors, Blair went to pick up her coat, debating with herself what movie should lift up her mood for the night. She didn't notice Dan approaching her until she felt him help her into her coat.

"Hey, have you seen Chuck?" he asked, looking tense.

"Off somewhere having sex with some girl who looks like me" Blair shrugged "I couldn't care less anyway, I'm out of here"

Dan grabbed softly her wrist, halting her "Blair, wait"

He looked so serious, it got easily to Blair. Too naturally, she let her hand slide into his, bracing herself for whatever he was about to tell her.

"It's Bart. He was in a car accident and…I don't think he's going to make it. Serena just left for the hospital and no one can find Chuck"

Blair processed the information, letting the shock settling in despite her.

"I don't know where he is" she barely articulated "I told you, I was leaving anyway"

Dan nodded and released her hand. They stared at each other, Blair blinking endlessly and Dan frowning. His hand found the small of her back, dropping warmth on the square of skin his thumb found above her low cut. He pressed her closer to him.

"Come on, I'll take you home" he then whispered, leading her out.

Blair felt dizzy by the unusual closeness, and how weird it didn't seem, so she let him guide her out and into a cab. They didn't talk the whole journey, until he saw her to her foyer. In the car, they had both received the same text from Serena announcing Bart's death. Blair then shook off her coat and wiped her moist palms on her thighs.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" she asked.

"I left the cab waiting downstairs" he nods to the elevator without moving toward it.

"Right, of course" Blair grabbed her clutch "Let me give you money for the ride"

"Wait, Blair, don't be ridiculous" Dan stepped forward, and held her wrist "Are you okay?"

His touch was so warm, Blair had to break free "Of course I am. It's not my father who died"

"I know but…I mean, you love him, don't you?"

The question annoyed Blair more coming from him than anything.

"It has nothing to do with that. It's just weird because I've never known closely anyone who's died before"

"Okay" Dan backed off, seemingly sensing her aggressiveness rising "I'm off, then"

He moved to take her in his arms, so very naturally, and held her tight whispering that she ought to call him if she needed anything. When he started to pull away, Blair wasn't ready to see him go, so she kept her arms around his waist, although loosely.

She hadn't dreamt of their first kiss, not once. She wished she had, at that moment, because then she would know what to expect or decipher from the way he was looking at her, and the way he didn't let go of her completely either. She ran nervously her tongue over her lips, and swallowed. He was so close, it became maddening.

"Sorry you didn't get laid tonight, Humphrey"

It was the only thing she thought of saying to test him. Dan chuckled, only one side of his mouth stretching, before leaning in to kiss her.

Blair's eyes fluttered shut almost immediately, and she felt inside of her a rush of yes. Dan closed his arms back around her, giving the kiss more content. It didn't go too far, only to the point where they changed angles and his top lip sought refuge between hers.

He let her go, then.

"The cab is waiting"

"Okay"

Forehead pressed together, they both took the same deep breath before he moved away with a last squeeze of her hand. He waved as he got in the elevator, and Blair remained standing there until it closed.

Then she got to bed, and lied with her eyes wide open to the ceiling.

And so it starts, she thought.

Except it didn't really start there, because Blair's focus shifted. It could have been denial, it could have been the sudden realization that it was Dan Humphrey for crying out loud, but Blair couldn't shake off that Chuck's father had died, and that she was probably the only one he could really rely on.

She told him she loved him, he answered it was too bad.

When she told Dan she loved him, in her dream, he had smiled and kissed her and said 'I kind of knew, but it feels really good to hear you say it'

But Chuck just disappeared.

And Blair started dreaming again. With the same clarity that came with every dream involving Dan, she saw her foyer. The light was dim, it was nighttime. He appeared out of the elevator and seemed confused.

She felt happy to see him, and nervous all the same.

"I've been walking all night around the city with one consuming, paralyzing thought" he said.

"Why am I walking around the city when I live in Brooklyn?"

The joke didn't land, and Dan started to say something that she didn't hear because her cellphone rang, jarring her out of the dream.

It was Chuck. She answered, and heard nothing, only his scattered breathing. He hung up, then, without a word and Blair was left staring at her cellphone in the middle of the night.

Her thumb moved to open her contact list, and shook over Dan's name. She pressed, taking the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" his groggy, sleeping voice came after the third ring.

"Sorry" Blair cleared her throat "You said to call you if I…"

She heard ruffling, a slight groan and pictured him sitting in his bed.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked, sounding more conscious.

"Yes. I think." She wanted to tell him about the dream, but it had only been a few seconds.

"Okay. Then lay down"

"I am lying down"

"Then close your eyes"

Blair held the phone to her ear and did as he asked, picturing better when she heard the sound of him laying back down.

"Goodnight, Waldorf" he muttered.

She didn't sleep that night, just listened to him snore until her battery ran dead, and wondered what the fuck she was doing with her life.

Eleanor decided to host New Year's Eve at the penthouse in honor to Bart, and as a way to cheer up Lily –or so she said, but Blair suspected her to simply want to show off how she managed to go back up with Cyrus, three years after the divorce. She made also Blair understand that her presence was mandatory. Serena was off to Argentina, Nate was with his mother, or Vanessa or whoever he was currently fucking. Chuck was still unfound.

So really, it was as a last resort that Blair called Dan to invite him to the party.

She rolled her eyes when she saw him arrive, with his dark cotton tee-shirt and what he probably thought were classy jeans.

"You look…you" she told him, small uncontrollable purse of her lips.

"You didn't tell me it was so formal" he replied, looking around a bit embarrassed.

It softened Blair; although how couldn't he know it would be so formal? It was the Upper East Side for crying out loud.

"It's okay" she whispered "Let's get you a drink"

That was their main activity of the night, only interrupted by some friends of her mother greeting her. The two of them drank a bottle and a half of red wine, and one of white, standing quietly in a corner. The more their glasses emptied, the more they were giggling. Blair wondered if it was the alcohol that made her imagine the way Dan would only look at her from the corner of his eyes, timid, or if it was genuine. She knew for certain though that it was the alcohol that made her think he looked good, tonight.

They both fell silent at one point, Dan because he was drinking and Blair because she had realized. There were details about that night that made her feel like she was having a déjà-vu, but then she recognized everything. The surrounding sounds were familiar, Dan's drunken training voice was familiar, and Blair had the confirmation that the dreams weren't just dreams. They were bound to happen at some point, and it was starting tonight.

Her stomach tightened, but not from fear like she would have expected, simply by anticipation. She wanted it to happen. She was going to make it happen.

They hadn't been talking in a while, and Dan downed his glass of white in one gulp.

"Now that we're drunk…are we going to talk about the kiss?"

He said with while nervously stretching his neck, like he was prepping for some kind of marathon.

"Now that we're drunk, we're not going to talk about anything."

Anchoring her eyes in his, Blair leaned forward, her wrist bending with her. The remaining of her glass spilled on his shirt, but he barely noticed, too caught in her glare.

"Oh my" Blair said flatly, still looking him in the eyes "We should get you upstairs and clean you up. Follow me"

After a quick glance to check if her mother was watching her –she wasn't –Blair walked to the staircase without turning, somehow confident that Dan would indeed follow her. She only swirled on her feet in the hallway at the top of the stairs, to take Dan by the shoulders and kiss him fiercely. He had wanted this too, she could tell by his instant answer to her kiss. She moaned in his mouth when he pushed his way in with his tongue, and his hands on her waist roamed up to the side of her breasts.

She was getting on fire, literally. She took him by the hand and broke the kiss to lead him in her room that she locked up without turning on the lights. Then she kissed him again, pressing her body into his, her tongue against his, to make him understand what she wanted. He got the message, getting as enthusiastic as her for a moment.

"Wait, Blair." He pulled away, trying to stare cautiously in the darkness. She could hear every single of his inhalations. "Are you sure?"

Her hands slid from his chest up to his shoulders, pulling him closer.

"Yes"

Dan's lips were back on hers as soon as she said it. She felt him pull her forward, himself going backward, blindly looking for her bed. Blair stopped him.

"No" she said, and she felt him stiffen.

She pulled him back, and walked backward until she hit the wall. She unclipped her garter belt and took his hands to guide them under her dress, pulling her panties down with his fingers.

"Like that" she whispered, stepping out of them. She hiked herself up, taking leverage on his shoulders and he supported her when she weaved her legs around his waist "Just like I dreamed it"

She heard his groan and swallowed hard, almost shaking with impatience as she felt him undo his pants hastily before his hands grabbed her waist, pulling her closer enough to slide into her.

Blair remembered every single detail from her dream, and it only raised the excitement of the moment to her.

"Fuck you feel good" she heard him say.

She knew he was going to say it, but it still made her shiver.

The countdown started downstairs, Dan pressed her wrist above their heads on the wall, and passed an arm around her waist, sending himself deeper. Blair let a harsh cry out. He picked up the pace, as if he couldn't wait to make her come, and Blair clenched around him just as everybody out was screaming Happy New Year!

Coming down from her height, she also remembered the way his breathing scattered, just like it was at that moment, as he was getting close. She pressed her palms flat on his back.

"Yes"

Another strangled groan out of his throat, fingers squeezing burningly her thigh and she felt his body go rigid, and watched him throw his head back, his Adam's apple jump.

He kissed her, after. Long, slow, without need for a pause. Then he put her down, breathless.

Blair's legs were shaking, she could barely stand. She felt as turned on as she was exhausted. She took his hand before he could move away.

"Will you stay?" she asked.

"Yes" he answered almost immediately.

So Blair led him to the bed and made him undress. She got rid of her clothes too, and laid under the comforter with her body firmly pressed to his. She wondered if she would remember how hot his skin felt, how appeasing his breathing was. She tried to keep her eyes open as long as possible, but Dan's hand stroking her back lulled her to sleep eventually.

Dan had to leave before dawn even came, because they couldn't take the risk of him running into her mother, or a picture of him leaving her building on Gossip Girl.

Blair simply passed a robe on before walking him to the elevator. There, it was awkward, uncertain. Neither of them knew what to say apparently. Then Dan took a deep breath.

"Can I call you later today?" he asked, looking at her straight in the eyes to try to manufacture some kind of confidence, but Blair saw his nervousness.

"I'll call you" she answered after a moment "I have to…think"

"Me too" Dan called the elevator "But it's about why I don't want this –whatever this is –to end now"

Before the elevator arrived, he left a silence hanging. Blair suspected he was waiting, or hoping perhaps, for her to say that she didn't want it to end there either. It was the truth, but she still didn't say it.

She knew Dan was talking thinking that what had happened was just an unexpected turn of events, but Blair knew it would happen, which therefore made her want it to happen.

She felt like she was diving into a trap that she had set up herself.

The elevator came, and they looked one last time at each other. Dan seemed to want to say something but didn't apparently have the courage to say it. As for Blair, she wanted to say something but she simply didn't know what.

She settled for wishing him a Happy New Year, and he wished back before leaving.

Blair ended up calling him three days later, when she got tired of trying not to think of him. She didn't understand why she had wanted to remember all of those things about him that she noticed as they were laying naked together, because it was those exact things that threatened to drive her crazy one day.

Dan welcomed her to the loft the same afternoon, taking advantage of his father being at the gallery and Jenny in Hudson.

He took her directly to his room, leaving her alone there just long enough to go get snacks. Blair sat on his bed with her purse next to her and her coat on her knees, barely settling in, but not eager to leave either. She looked around while waiting for him. As far as being in a boy's room went, it had only been Nate and Chuck for her. Dan's was very different. Much less spacious and so very obvious he was the one taking care of the cleaning. It was basically all paper sheets, and books and old records lying around. There was Cedric too, perched up above the bed, reigning over the room.

Dan came back with crackers, an open bottle of Bordeaux and a half grin.

"It seemed to work for us last time" he said, before putting everything down on his nightstand.

Then he locked the door –for his father, she figured –and the window –for Vanessa –then kind of stood there, staring at her.

She was going to get up, having decided that this was a bad idea when he leaned, put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her on the mouth, eyes closed. Blair's remained open, by annoyance and by shock.

"I'm really glad to see you" he said when he pulled away.

He looked at her, waiting for her answer.

Blair swallowed "Me too"

Relieved, –how annoyingly cute did he look at that moment –Dan sat next to her on the bed, dismissing her purse and coat to his desk chair. Blair just let him do his thing, just let him look at her, curl his hand around the back of her neck, brush her cheek with his thumb, push away her hair, and kiss her skin aerially.

She shivered, then, lazily closing her eyes. She really didn't know what she was doing.

Forgetting all about the snacks, they peeled each other's clothes off and got under the covers. They started to laugh, giggle like kids as they were rolling around in his bed. Blair was indeed glad. It was a sentiment she had had a hard time to come to, recently.

That second time was stunningly different than the first, in the good sense. The daylight peering through the shades allowed Blair to see everything. She saw his smile, the muscles of his arms when he was above her. She saw the concentration on his face when he stroke between her legs and the red on his neck and ears when she did the same to him. She saw him naked, wanting, panting, flush and hard.

It was different also because less rushed, more purposeful. He laid her on her back and kissed her everywhere. He let her roll the condom on before kissing her for so long Blair worried they wouldn't need one. Settling himself between her thighs, he whispered how soft her skin felt. He hiked one of her legs on his hip and canted forward, sliding in so easily that Blair was shocked to see how ready she had been to welcome him without realizing.

The snacks served for after, when they were both sweaty and breathless. The red wine and crackers only made Blair thirstier, but she didn't want to leave the room more than she wanted him to, so she distracted herself by kissing him, tainted lips on his shoulders and chest.

School started again. Chuck came back to New York, an empty shell of himself. Blair tried to pretend it was the last of her worries; but the idea of running into him was scarier than an entire day sitting next to Serena after having slept with her ex-boyfriend –twice.

The play rehearsals were the most nerve-racking moments of her weeks. Blair wanted to smile at Dan, she wanted to kiss him, to pull his arm around her shoulder and stay there with him, forget whoever was watching. The impossibility to give in to those impulses tensed her again, on the stage, while acting with him.

She started sneaking out of the penthouse in the middle of the night instead, on the week-ends. Dan would always be waiting for her at the front door of the loft, and they would go to his room, walking on their toes. She fell asleep better, pressed against his chest and her nose in the crook of his neck, listening to the rhythm of his breathing, lower. On Sunday mornings, Dan would pick up breakfast for them in the kitchen and lock his door. They would eat in silence, smiling at each other and waiting for Jenny to go to choir practice and his father to the gallery in the afternoon. They were jumping on each other as soon as the front door banged closed a second time.

Blair liked it best when they were in his bed, when they could be completely naked and comfortably pressed against each other.

Then she would go back home before his family came back, trying to be the most discreet possible.

One Friday at lunch, Dan texted her that his father was going on a road trip and that Jenny would be again in Hudson for the weekend. Blair rushed home after class, told her mother she was going to spend the weekend at Serena's, told Serena she was staying in with her mother and took a cab to Brooklyn with her Louis Vuitton hastily packed up. Dan was already waiting for her with homemade Bolognese, and two glasses of wine. They didn't finish their plates, ending up on the couch, Blair straddling his lap and him cupping one revealed breast.

Not having to hide or to be quiet was a relief to them both. In the morning, they kissed, rolling around as much pleased them. Blair was starting to think she couldn't get enough of it; she didn't tell him though.

"So, what are we going to do?" Dan asked, propping himself on one elbow "About our situation. Are we a couple? Should we tell people?"

Blair frowned "Why? They'll ruin everything"

"Not if we don't let them, they won't"

Blair moved closer to him, hoping to drive his mind away from the current matter with her body.

"Later, Humphrey. There is nothing like the present, right?"

Dan shrugged "This is the present, Blair"

She put her lips on his neck, smiled when she felt his shiver a bit.

"I said later, okay?"

She went on kissing him, victorious when she felt his hands stroke her back.

"Is it because of Chuck?"

Blair stopped moving and sighed in annoyance. She didn't want to talk about it, obviously, to talk about him. But honesty with Humphrey had only –surprisingly –been useful to her so far.

"I don't know…" she whispered on his skin "Perhaps"

She regretted saying that. It was only a matter of nanoseconds before Humphrey would get vexed like the little Brooklyn bitch he could be and kick her out of the loft while screaming he wasn't some kind of distraction. He would be right to. But Dan pushed her shoulders into the mattress, getting over her. He looked her in the eyes.

"I know you're in love with him" he said "And I don't mind, we both have our baggage. But you do know he isn't your only option, do you?"

Blair rolled her eyes, and covered them with her forearm. Dan was talking like her therapist. She felt his lips warm on her collarbone, go down to her chest and envelope a nipple. She let out a soft moan.

"You do know he doesn't have any control over you, do you?"

His hand snaked down her body and settled between her legs. Blair parted her thighs ever so slightly.

"I do, Humphrey, and I don't need your fake feminist prep talk bullshit okay?" she breathed, canting her hips up "Now, get on with it"

Dan obliged and stroke over her before sliding two fingers inside of her, deep.

"Tell me about another dream" he asked in a whisper, moving slowly his fingers.

Blair squirmed around, taking her breath in.

"We ran into each other, we looked older" she said "We were both going to see the same movie, it was raining"

Dan started using his thumb.

"What movie?"

Blair moaned, and smiled.

"Guess"

He sunk his fingers deeper.

"I don't know, I'll guess later" he said "What happened, then?"

"You asked if I would agree to get coffee with you, to catch up"

She closed her eyes, feeling the tingling under her skin, and heard him laugh.

"I bet you weren't too happy about that"

"You're right. But you said we could, because we weren't in high school anymore. Stupid."

"What kind of idiot doesn't know that being from Brooklyn doesn't magically disappear after high school?" he smiled on the skin of her stomach, and went back up to take the other nipple in his mouth.

Blair put her hand on the back of his head, maintaining.

He focused on her, after, not asking for any story. When Blair instinctively opened her thighs wider, ready to finish, he kissed her neck, and her mouth, and then went back to the tip of her breast.

"I really like you, you know" he breathed on her skin.

Blair could only clench around his fingers as an answer.

Blair didn't really dream anymore, which was good because hiding her relationship, if it were even one, with Humphrey was already an exhausting challenge.

More than once, she thought of putting an end to it. She could never entirely get used to the idea of how normal it felt to touch him and to be touched by him. She thought of finishing because if they weren't ready to come out, they weren't being especially careful at hiding either. In fact, careful went out the window when he took her in the costume closet on the premiere night of the Senior play.

Soon, none of that mattered anyway, because she didn't get into Yale and that, she hadn't seen coming.

Dan actually getting into Yale, she hadn't seen coming either.

She tried not to be jealous, tried not to be petty about it. But she found herself avoiding him more and more. He didn't push his attempts at seeing her outside of school, and she suspected him to think it was better to give her space for the time being. It enraged her more than anything.

Who was he, thinking he knew her, thinking he belonged?

Blair was annoyed with herself for even thinking that perhaps her life would turn into something wonderful she hadn't suspected, and annoyed with herself to have let Humphrey take advantage of it.

Nate asked her to prom, because he had broken up with Vanessa, and Blair accepted, thinking at least that would help her get things on track, and fix whatever she had been unconsciously destroying by spending time with Humphrey.

She started ignoring his calls, childishly.

So when she saw him walk into the dance with Serena on his arm, she couldn't blame anybody but herself. Their glances met just briefly, before Dan turned away.

Blair pretended she didn't care; she didn't want to let anything show. But when she saw them dancing together, being so silly, like they had been friends their whole lives, she felt the urge to march over there, pull Serena's hair and tell her viciously not to bother, that he'll end up with her in the end.

She had no way not to that for sure, of course, but she really was tired of Serena taking from her things before she even got them. They barely even watched when Blair was crowned Prom Queen. Serena went to the bathroom, and Dan took himself and his cheap wrinkled suit to the bar. Blair waited two minutes after having gotten down the stage to join him discreetly.

"Running back to Serena, shocker" she said.

She felt him tense.

"You're the one who ignored me, because of a stupid college acceptance"

"It's my future, Humphrey, but of course you can't understand, you're an artist" she snorted the last word, and took a glass of punch.

Dan turned to her, then, looking her dead in the eyes.

"Well, no longer than three weeks ago, you were certain I was your future too, remember?"

"Don't make me throw up" Blair snapped, old reflex kicking in.

She regretted it, but didn't show and it was too late anyway. Dan laughed bitterly, shaking his head as her.

"Congratulations, Blair, on being voted Queen of the most despicable, unoriginal group of people I know, you deserve it" he said, pointing at the tiara perched on her head "I guess this will at least

keep you warm when you won't be at Yale next year. Have a good life"

He put his glass down on the bar, and left, just like that.

Blair felt guilty, hated feeling guilty, and kept thinking in spite of herself of a way to make things better with Dan. She had heard he wasn't going to Yale anymore, and only then, she felt a compassion toward him rise within her.

The hit had been hard for her, she couldn't possibly imagine for him. Because he had had the illusion that perhaps people like him do go to places like this, and that being from Brooklyn didn't matter after high school.

When a blast of Gossip Girl showed him at the New York public library trying to console himself amongst the books, she was over there within minutes. She knew where to go, remembering him telling her about Ancient Greek Drama usually soothing his sorrows.

He was sitting at a table by himself, Antigone opened under his eyes. She quietly took the seat facing him.

Dan's face closed when he saw her.

"Coming to gloat?" he asked, jaw clenched.

Blair rolled her eyes.

"You have the wrong idea of me, Humphrey"

"I think I have a spot on idea of you, even better now that I know what you are actually capable of"

He stood up with the book and his bag, ready to disappear amongst the shelves. Blair followed him.

"I wanted to see if you were alright" she whispered furiously "And I wanted to actually apologize for –"

"Fuck, Blair" Dan turned around "Can we stop this now? I don't know why you chose me to pass time and wait for Chuck to be emotionally available, but it's over now. He's better, and the two of you can get together, and laugh at how hum drum Humphrey believed that you were dreaming of falling in love with him. Hell, it'll be your evil children's favorite tale, I bet"

He resumed walking, apparently determined to get as far from her as possible, but Blair didn't let him. She still followed, each of her steps into his.

"That wasn't a made up story, Humphrey. I did dream of it."

"Well, I guess it was just a dream, though" Dan put the book back on its shelf, and looked at her one last time "Because it's not happening. High school is over and I don't want to see you anymore, or rather ever again."

When he walked away that time, Blair didn't follow him. She simply waited for the appropriate time for him to leave her eyesight before moving again.

She knew this kind of reaction from him was legitimate, but still, Humphrey was being a fucking child. Fuming, she started walking home, the sound of her heels stomping on the bitumen resonating in her ears, giving forcefulness to her anger.

She almost didn't notice Chuck waiting for her in front of her building, leaning against his limo. He was holding gifts from all over Europe –Blair hadn't even notice he was away. He told her he loved her, and Blair wasn't angry anymore.

When Chuck kissed her, she knew what was real, and what wasn't. Humphrey was a dumb fantasy, made so she wouldn't expect the actual happy ending she had been hoping for, the one with Chuck, the one plausible.

She kissed him back, tears of exhaustion forming in the corner of her eyes. This was what was supposed to happen.

Wasn't it?

Months later, Dan started dated Vanessa.

Blair saw them in the cafeteria, which she was going to only because she couldn't walk to the nearest Starbuck in her heels. They were like they usually were around each other, except they were holding hands. Vanessa stood up at one point, and kissed him on the mouth before leaving. She walked past Blair without as much as a look for her, contrasting completely with Dan who had been staring the moment she walked in.

Blair turned away to the counter of pastries.

She was miserable.

Fate had cruelly led them to end up in the same school and Blair was certain it was retribution for not trusting it the first time. She had thought Chuck was what she really wanted, how foolish. In the end Chuck was a challenge she had felt she ought to take, uninteresting after having conquered it, and Blair didn't know why she convinced herself that it could be more. She didn't know why she had wanted to build with Chuck everything she had lived and literally dreamt of with Dan.

She didn't understand why she got so scared, in the end. Because of Serena or because he was from Brooklyn were all excuses, she knew that now. It was too late though. She had to go to the same school as him, and watch him parade around with different girls, brave ones. Blair accepted the punishment, wondering how long it would last.

She broke at Dorota's wedding. Chuck had gone too far, and she had lost too much.

She wished she hadn't started taking medication to prevent her from dreaming, because perhaps she would have been warned. Dreaming of Humphrey was becoming more painful than annoying, especially because it wasn't anything new. They were the same dreams she had had, again and again. Like her subconscious was taunting her, showing her what she would be missing on in the future. But then again, like the time Chuck stood her up in Tuscany, like the time he rejected her after she confessed her love, she should have known.

Everyone, including Humphrey, heard her confess that she and Chuck weren't happy, that day.

At the reception, Blair stood there, watching Chuck compliment one of Vanya's cousins with a disgusting exaggeration. But she would rather watch him than turn her head and see Humphrey who she knew was standing somewhere on her right. She also knew –felt somehow –that he was looking at her. She wanted him to come over, and ask her to dance. Or talk to her, at the very least. But he never came. She couldn't even tell when he left the party.

Blair got home with her shoes in her hand, that night. She sent an online transfer application to Columbia, ready to start over, and threw the necklace Chuck got her in the trash.

A year passed, and Blair was better. So much better that she even forgot how unhappy she'd had been before. She started dating again, never anything serious, and kept to a minimum her interactions with Chuck. Anything she would hear about him was through Gossip Girl, essentially. She didn't hurt anymore; time had successfully mended her heart.

One day at the end of her spring break, she forgot her umbrella on the way to the movies. So when the unexpected rain started to pour, she had to run under a building to protect herself.

It took only a few seconds before someone did the same. When Blair heard the drenched steps next to her, she couldn't help turning her head, even though she didn't want to.

Dan blinked, surprised, before smiling at her.

"Hey" he said "It's been a while. How's Columbia?"

Blair couldn't find her voice, and had she, she wouldn't have known what to say. Her heart pumped so hard in her chest it became a bit painful. But she hardly noticed, her brain numbed out by the moment.

She listened to him chat alone about things she already knew; he was going to the Walter Reed Theater, just like her, to see Sabrina for the first time, and he was sure he was going to miss the beginning because of the rain.

When the pouring stopped, Blair started walking again. She considered going back home and run away from this, whatever this was. But then…she didn't know what had happened after the movie, and Humphrey did look exactly like he did in her dream that she had been unable to place temporally. And she had dreamt of so much more.

Could it be that what had happened between them two years ago wasn't the end, wasn't her screwing it up, but actually inevitably driving them to where they were meant to end up?

She let her steps walk her to the theater, clearly aware of Humphrey following her. In her head, Blair saw herself back in high school, telling him 'Curiosity killed the cat, Humphrey'

And God, had it.

She paid attention to every little detail. Dan sat on the row behind her, just like she expected him to, and again, she was unable to focus throughout the entire showing. She also expected him to wait for her at the exit, which he did. She couldn't believe it was happening. During the movie, Blair recalled that she had told him about that specific dream. She didn't know if she was allowed to hope that he would remember too.

"We should get coffee sometime" he told her "Catch up"

Yes, Blair thought. He was suggesting because he was remembering, right? He must have confused her half distressed, half hopeful expression for disgust, because he rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Blair. We've both grown up, we're mature. And some people might think it was fate, us meeting this way. Who knows, perhaps we can be friends again."

Blair's heart dropped in disappointment. Of course, he wouldn't remember. He didn't believe her two years ago, and he said he never wanted to see her again. The invitation was about making things right, politely, not devote his entire soul and life to her forever. She was stupid to even think he would think of her dream.

"Some people might be illuminated" she whispered, annoyed with herself.

Still, in her head, a silent plea echoed. Remember, Humphrey, remember.

He conceded "True. Well, I think for some reason I still have your number, so I'll give you a call. If I don't, then it's not exactly a tragedy either, right?"

Blair swallowed, wanting to slap him and herself in one motion.

"Right"

He laughed while fixing his scarf.

"See you later, Waldorf"

Blair didn't do anything, nor said anything. She just let him go.

It was already dark out, and when she got home Serena wasn't there and Dorota was gone. Blair got rid of her trench coat before walking to the kitchen to eat an entire jar of cookies, trying desperately not to think of Humphrey and for some reason cry. She distracted herself by calling her mother, then her father.

When there was nothing to do anymore, she decided on going to bed, take two sleeping pills and forget all about dreams, all about imaginary futures. She was walking up the stairs when she heard the elevator chime. She got back down, thanking the higher power that had sent Serena home to distract her.

Blair stopped short when she saw Humphrey walk in slowly, looking slightly confused.

She couldn't possibly imagine the reason that had led him there, although it pleased her to see him. She felt her stomach tighten in pleasure, and her throat dry out in apprehension.

"Listen, Blair" he started slowly "I've been walking all night with one consuming, paralyzing thought"

She swallowed "Why am I walking around the city when I live in Brooklyn?"

As soon as the bad joke left her mouth, Blair tried not to gasp. She remembered this moment, too. Dan took a wary step toward her.

"You've told me about us meeting at the movies" he said, breathing slowly "You had dreamt of it"

Blair didn't answer, but he took her silence as an approval. She saw him swallow nervously too.

"You were telling the truth" he said, more to himself than her.

"I told you" Blair replied, unable to stop the vindictive tone in her voice.

It wasn't the time to be petty, but he should have believed her. Or he had been right not to, because none of this would have happened, probably. Or it still would have. Blair didn't know what to think anymore.

Dan stepped forward again, getting so close to her, Blair missed an inhalation and had to refrain a cough. His hand lifted to land almost too calmly on her shoulder, and Blair completely stopped breathing then.

"What else did you dream of?" he asked in a whisper.

"This" Blair replied, her throat tight.

"Right now?" Dan had never seemed so confused to her.

She nodded.

"So…" he frowned even more "What happens now?"

"I don't know" Blair shrugged "I woke up"

Dan nodded, looking down thoughtfully; the hand on her shoulder moved a bit, thumb stroking her skin. Blair had missed feeling that. When he looked up again, he seemed determined.

"In that case" he said sounding suddenly very confident "Let's take it from here. What do you think?"

Blair didn't let him blink before she took him by the lapels of his coat, and pulled him into a kiss.

I know it was long, I hope not too boring sometimes. Anyway, tell me what you think.

Love; xo