Part One: Alice in Blunderland

Aleah, Jackie, Damian, Jaz, Bridget, and the two identical twins, Schuy and Keely, sat in a circle in the middle of Bridget's living room, reading Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Bridget read the book out loud in a clear voice, while Damian and the twins constantly interrupted, making little comments here and there.

"'In another moment, down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.'"

"Can someone actually fit into a rabbit hole?"

"'Alice had not the slightest idea what latitude was, or longitude either, but she thought they were nice grand words to say.'"

"How can someone not know what Latitude or Longitude is?"

"'If you drink much from a bottle marked "poison," it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later.'"

"Alice is an idiot. It did disagree with her, because she shrank."

"Will you guys quit talking?!" Jackie snapped in irritation.

At that moment, Felicia, dressed up as Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series, snuck into the living room with her wand in her grasp. As Bridget continued reading, Felicia pointed her wand at the group, and whispered, "Apparate!"

With a POOF! all eight teenagers were surrounded by a puff of lavender smoke, and once it cleared, they found themselves standing in Wonderland. All of them, except for Felicia, were wearing outfits from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. Aleah had become Alice, Bridget turned into McTwisp, the white rabbit. Damian was the Mad Hatter. Jaz transformed into the Cheshire-Cat. Jackie became Stayne, the Knave of Hearts. Schuy turned into Tweedledum, while Keely became Tweedledee.

"OMG! What just happened?!" the seven new Alice characters exclaimed in confusion and alarm.

Jumping and clapping in delight, Felicia squealed, "Yes! My spell worked!"

Aleah/Alice scowled, raced towards Felicia, and stole her wand. Before Felicia could react, Aleah/Alice pointed the wand at her, and cried out, "Transmogrify!"

A cloud of pale blue smoke engulfed Felicia, and when it disappeared, everyone saw she had turned into Snow White.

"Hey!" Felicia cried out in aggravation, once she realized what she was wearing. Then, crossing her arms over her torso, she began to sulk. Aleah/Alice conjured an apple out of thin air and threw it at her. Upon seeing it, Felicia's eyes lit up. "Oo! Apple!" Picking it up off the ground, she took a bite, and then fell to the floor, asleep.

Shaking her head in annoyance, Aleah/Alice tossed aside the wand.

At that moment, Schuy/Dum and Keely/Dee began to argue over something stupid.

"Hey, Schuy, when we get home, can I borrow your hair dryer?" Keely/Dee inquired.

"No. You don't need it, I do. I'm prettier than you are," replied Schuy/Dum.

"No, I'm prettier! You're ugly."

Jaz/Cheshire-Cat began to laugh at them. "You're identical twins! You just called yourself ugly!"

Ignoring her, the twins began pushing each other, and pulling each other's hair. Then, a crow swooped down from the sky, and the girls ran off screaming.

Then a deep voice, kind of sounding like Gabe, that cool announcer guy, said:

"Tweedledum and Tweedledee

Agreed to have a battle;

For Tweedledum said Tweedledee

Had spoiled his nice new rattle.

Just then flew down a monstrous crow,

As black as a tar-barrel;

Which frightened both the heroes so,

They quite forgot their quarrel."

After observing her surroundings, Bridget/McTwisp found a random table nearby, and upon it was a scroll "Cool!" she said, "I'm gonna call it Oraculum just 'cause it sounds cool." Everyone gathered around, as she picked it up and read it aloud:

"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogroves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

'Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the JubJub bird and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!'

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought –

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the Tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back."

All of the friends exchanged confused glances and said at the same time, "Huh?"

Then, Gabe's voice returned, sighing in exasperation, he said, "For all you idiots out there, it means Aleah/Alice has to kill the Jabberwocky."

"Oh!" they cried out in understanding.

Jackie/Stayne, who was a great animal lover turned to Aleah/Alice in distress and said, "No you don't. Don't kill the Jabberwocky!"

Frowning, Damian/Hatter cried out to Jackie/Stayne, "Woman! Stay out of this! She will kill the Jabberwocky!"

"No, she won't!"

"Yes, she will!"

Then, a sword materialized in each of their hands, and an epic battle ensued between them.

As they fought, the Jabberwocky swooped down from the sky, and landed before the group. Turning pale in fear, Bridget/McTwisp scuttled behind Jaz/Cheshire-Cat to hide. Also afraid, Jaz/Cheshire-Cat suddenly disappeared, leaving Bridget/McTwisp exposed.

Nervously, Bridget/McTwisp pulled out a pocket watch, and cried out, "Oh, no! I'm late!" Then, she sprinted off.

Now left alone with Jackie/Stayne and Damian/Hatter, Aleah/Alice stared wide-eyed at the Jabberwocky, and gulped nervously. She failed to notice that behind her, Felicia woke up, and upon seeing the terrifying creature, she searched for her wand. Finding it, Felicia grabbed it, and it transformed into a vorpal blade in her hand. She stood and ran to Aleah/Alice.

"Aleah!" she said. Aleah/Alice jumped in surprise, and spun around. "Here's the vorpal sword! Go kill the Jabberwocky!" without waiting for a reply, Felicia saw the apple once again. "Oo! Apple!" she squealed, dropping the sword. Picking it up, she took another bite, and fell asleep, once again.

Aleah/Alice gaped at her in astonishment, then shrugged, and picked up the sword. Feeling the weight of the blade in her hand, she stalked forward towards the creature. It lunged at her, trying to take a bite, but she dodged it. This happened for several minutes, until Aleah/Alice finally swung the sword, and chopped off its head. Once it was dead, Jackie/Stayne, and Damian/Hatter stopped fighting, and stared down at the head.

"That's cool and gross at the same time," Jackie/Stayne stated.

"Woman! No one asked you!" Damian/Hatter said.

With another POOF! of lavender smoke, the three teenagers found themselves back at Bridget's house with everyone else. Aleah looked at the Alice's Adventures in Wonderland book that was on the floor, and noticed something different about it. The title now read Alice in Blunderland.

"Whoa!" cried Jaz in bewilderment, "What just happened?"

Picking up the book, Bridget said, "That was weird."

After looking around a bit, they all realized that someone was missing.

"Hey, where's Felicia?" Aleah inquired.

Back in Wonderland, Felicia, still dressed as Snow White, woke up again, feeling groggy. Sitting up, she got her bearings, and spotted the apple beside her. "Oo! Apple!" she cried, picking it up. Once again, she took another bite, and fell back asleep. The End.

"No! You're wrong!" said Gabe's booming voice, "This is now the part where Gabe, the cool announcer guy, says, 'And the moral of THAT is… birds of a feather flock together!'"

End