Hey guys! This is pretty much my first shot at a comedy fic, so you'd better think it's funny...
death stare
I mean it.
Kidding! Let the fic begin!
Lugia's POV
I was in some deep crap.
Ho-oh had just asked me out...
I'm not truly a lover...
I shook my feathers on my arms, looking at them.
I've never been asked out before.
I fell apart if front of her.
I said yes, yet, I don't know what to do! I think I should see Rayquaza, he'll know what to do.
After all, HE is married.
3rd Person:
"What? Are ya kidding me?"
"No Rayquaza, I'm not kidding, Ho-oh asked me out."
Rayquaza took a deep laugh. "Ohhhhh man, THAT is priceless!"
"I'm not kidding!"
"It's just... you two are opposites!" Rayquaza said, wiping tears of joy from his dragon-like eyes.
"I know! Look at Groudon and Kyogre! They are complete opposites! EVERYBODY knows that they love each other!"
"True, true."
"Look, Ray, all I need is a couple of tips, just to impress her!"
"You've come to the right place!"
"Well... Shoot." I said, getting out a notebook and a pen.
"Ok, Lesson 1: Bring plenty of money."
Immediately when Rayquaza said that, he broke out in a huge laugh.
"What's so funny?" Lugia asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Oh...Oh...nothing! Lesson 2: NEVER be late on your first date."
"Never...Be...Late..." Lugia Repeated "Next?"
"Lesson 3: Wear something nice."
"How can I? I'm a fricken bird for crying out loud."
"Hey, that's your problem, not mine."
"Says the guy who nearly got killed by a fox and a monkey."
"THEY HAD IT COMING!"
"Yeah..."
"Lesson 4: Try to lie in order to impress her."
"Lie? but.. I don't lie! I...can't."
"Of course you can! Let's think, what have you done in the past?"
"A am a hero of Shamuti Islands, although Ash Ketchum saved everything, I nearly died against the three birds!"
"That is good, I think that'll do." Rayquaza said, thinking a bit more.
"All right, that should be all!"
"Thanks Ray!" Lugia prepared to take off, but before he left...
"Hey Ray, how is Latias."
"Latias? Ah, she's been stable lately."
"Good, we don't need ANOTHER suicide attempt..."
Latias got depressed after her brother's death. She couldn't take it any more, and attempted to jump off of the Spear Pillar. Even though it is hard to die from height when you are a bird...
That incident left one criminal team that was near there to start their search for Dialga and Palkia.
After the question, Lugia flew off.
The restauraunt that Lugia arrived at was a quite fancy Chinese restauraunt. He approached a green waiter's station near the front. All he could see was a pink tail.
"Mew?"
"Yes?"
"What the Giratina are you doing here?"
"Ah, well... All those dates with Celebi aren't free, ya know."
"Of course, of course. I'm meeting..."
"Cressy? Of course, she's in the back, just follow me."
Mew said, motioning him over. The two legendary Pokemon floated through the crowd of regulars, then went into a room in the back. It had huge mirrors on each side, plus a GIANT screen TV. It also had a chandelier on the top.
"What is this place?"
"Oh, the dating room, as we call it."
As Mew led Lugia to his table, he could see Groudon and Kyogre at one. THAT was quite the surprise. They were usually fighting over something important like land... or water... or Super Smash Bros Brawl.
An even bigger surprise was Giratina and Arceus. Huge surprise. The two most powerful beings on earth eating together. If a spark of annoyance came over either, the world might be gone before you know it.
Eventually, the two reached a table, Ho-oh's.
Ho-oh and her bright rainbow feathers were at the table. She was wearing rainbow earrings. Lugia approached nervously.
"Hey Lu."
"Hey."
"Hmm... Normal response, I seriously hope that you ARN'T normal."
"Of... of course not! I... I... I'm the hero of Shamuti Islands!"
"Wait, it was YOU who did all that? You who saved the world?"
"Yup!"
"Wow... I'll never look at you the same way again."
Eventually Mew came back with menus.
"What will you have?" A quite disgruntled Mew said.
"Oh, I'll have the Stir Fry." Ho-oh said.
"I'll have the Fish."
"Coming right out!"
"Wow.. nobody EVER told me that you were a hero."
"Yeah, came recently."
"How, I mean, that was 5 years ago!"
Now, Lugia bit his tongue. Mew came in in presenting style, holding the two Chinese dishes.
"Here ya go!"
"Thanks, Mew!"
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After a while of eating, Ho-oh was nearly done, and started to look at Lugia differently, then she said it out.
"Lugia, I KNOW that you aren't a hero." Lugia nearly choked on his fish.
"WHAT?"
"It's obvious, I know it was Ash Ketchum that was the hero."
"That damned human... annoying."
"That's not the point! I know you only did that to impress me... and it's working." Lugia blushed.
"Re...Really?"
"Really, Lugia, I love you."
"I love you too, Ho-oh."
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Lugia's POV
I looked around, seeing Groudon and Kyogre's table first. Upon seeing this, Kyogre leaned over and kissed Groudon. Groudon looked shocked, then, as if it was a comedy, started passionately kissing Kyogre.
Next, I looked over at Arceus and Giratina's table.
"I know what you are thinking, and, no, I'm not doing it." I heard in my head.
"Now, I need to go to the restroom." Ho-oh said, getting up and leaving to the restroom.
15 MINUTES LATER
"Wow... how long does it take for one legendary bird to go to the bathroom?" I said out loud.
I looked, Mew had brought the bill.
"I'm still waiting for Ho-oh."
"She left 10 minutes ago, she said that you would pay the bill. You'd better give me a big tip!"
I grimaced as I looked at the price and looked in my wallet.
So this is why Rayquaza said to bring plenty of money...
MUHAHAHAHAHA! I AM DONE!
Anybody notice the two Super Smash Bros Brawl references?
R&R Please!