Disclaimer: All the usual legalese. All mistakes are mine
There are 4 chapters in this story.
For Jan and Peggy and their beautiful friendship.
What Matters.
Of all the things she hated, Sarah MacKenzie hated being sick the most. She hated the germs which had dared invaded and overtaken her body, she hated that she'd been home since Monday afternoon and still felt like utter crap on Friday morning. She hated that Harm had been over every evening to take care of her on her sick bed…well, she didn't really hate the caring part, just the part about it being on her 'sick' bed...she'd much prefer it was a 'well' bed...a very well bed.
Over the previous weekend, she had felt the flu coming on; the weak joints, fevered brow, lethargy, but she had closing arguments that week and a pile of work to do. So instead of tea and lemon and analgesics, she drank coffee, ate nothing and worked all night – not conducive to a recovery.
Feeling worse than ever on the Monday morning, Mac had dragged herself into JAG Headquarters, put her indomitable Marine foot forward and stood up in court to begin her argument. An argument which started 'Private Timothy Watson' and ended right there; when the floor seemed to leap up and smack her in the face.
As mortifying as the whole scene was, it was worse that the opposing counsel was Harm and he had been the one to wipe the sweat and saliva from her face and assist her in drinking the water offered when she finally came too. With court adjourned and a headache to beat all others, Mac was taken to Bethesda by Harm and checked out by the resident. It was a pretty easy diagnosis; the flu, exhaustion, dehydration and malnutrition.
"What?" Harm countered as the young doctor made notes in Mac's file. "Mac eats more than anyone I know, how can she be malnourished?"
"Sir," the doctor began before tilting his head and indicating the corridor outside.
Checking Mac was asleep, Harm headed outside and stood with his arms defiantly folded across his chest. No young upstart was going to tell him Sarah MacKenzie was malnourished.
"I am only telling you this as the Colonel's next of kin," the doctor began, glancing through the glass at Mac. "Looking at her file, I would say that Colonel MacKenzie is about 20lbs lighter than at her physical last month…"
Harm looked through the window and had to nod, sure he'd noticed she'd lost weight but surely it couldn't have been that much. But then, as he studied her face, he realized that it had been a while since he had paid her close attention.
"Now, some of that is attributable to the flu – she said she hadn't been well for five days…" he said.
"Five days," Harm echoed. He'd been in court against her for seven days but had been so preoccupied with the case and the lawyer that he hadn't seen his friend unwell.
"And she hasn't been eating in that time," the doctor continued, "Right now, we'll run the IV and you should be able to take her home tonight, however, I would like to make a follow up appointment just to make sure she is looking after herself.
Harm nodded and had dutifully listened to all the instructions as to what Mac needed and what he was to do to ensure a full recovery. He had driven her home and stood by her bedroom door as she changed before tucking her into bed and going to the drug and grocery stores. An hour and a half later he had returned and made a daily list of what she needed to take, when and how, he had called Harriet to see if she could make Mac some basic meals, knowing she would prefer Harriet's cooking to his and then he sat on her sofa and waited until she woke up so he could feed and medicate her.
Every night since, he had come straight from work, let himself in, changed and take chargen of things. Usually, Harriet had been over for a few hours during the day so there wasn't much in the way for him to do. Wednesday while she was sleeping he had alphabetized her DVDs, it wasn't an essential task but it kept him busy.
When Mac awoke Friday, midmorning, she still felt bad. Her body ached and her head pounded. She reached to the nightstand and took the bottles of aspirin and water Harm had left for her. Downing two of the capsules and a mouthful of water, Mac rested back against the pillows and cursed the Health Department for being right about a virulent strand of the flu which was plaguing DC at the moment.
Harriet had brought lunch over for her; mac and cheese and had warmed it in the microwave while Mac was in the bathroom. When Mac appeared at the kitchen table, she looked every bit as bad as she felt.
"You're not doing so well, are you, Mac?" Harriet ventured, when Mac picked up the fork and placed it back down without eating.
"I've been better," she replied, though she couldn't really remember when.
"You needed to eat," Harriet reminded her gently before placing her medication and a glass of water on the table.
Slowly but surely, Mac made her way though half a bowl of Harriet's famous recipe before declaring herself finished. Obediently, she took her meds and drank her water and was more than ready for a nap.
"How about you take a shower?" Harriet suggested as Mac went to stand. "It might freshen you up."
"I must look like a terrible sight," she replied as she shuffled towards the door.
"I've seen worse," Harriet said with a forced laugh, truth was she'd never seen Mac look so bad.
"You go I'll be fine," Mac said as she reached the door.
"If it's all the same, I'd rather wait 'til you're done and tucked up in bed again," she replied, before clearing the table.
Though the hot water almost made her pass out twice and the fluffy towel felt like sandpaper against her skin, Mac showered and dressed in a clean nightgown before heading back to her bedroom to find Harriet had stripped and remade the bed.
"Thank you," she offered tearfully, more than grateful to have such a good friend at his time.
It was dark when Mac awoke again and made the inordinately long shuffle to the bathroom. To her dismay she discovered her period had started and worse still, she had no provisions. Looking at the clock she knew Harm would be leaving headquarters soon but she really didn't want to ask him. She knew Harriet would drop everything for her but she'd already done so much and she didn't want to ask.
Finally, Mac decided to forge ahead, rather than speak to Harm directly she sent him a text which asked him to please pick up some sanitary provision for her, if he was heading her way.
This sent Harm on his dreaded mission into the drug store. The one and only time he had purchased sanitary products was when he was with Renee and she had been very explicit about what he needed to get. Mac, however, hadn't been so direct and as he stood looking at four shelves of products he realized he had absolutely no idea what to get. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He knew he should get her pads and tampons so she had the option but as he studied the shelves he didn't know which one of the gazillion varieties he should pick up.
"For your girlfriend, sir?" asked a sales associate who was probably his mother's age.
"Ah, yes," he stumbled. While Mac wasn't his girlfriend it was a simpler explanation than who she actually was to him.
"And your first time?" she continued with a wry smile.
"Aha," Harm confirmed. "Didn't realize there were so many types."
"There are certainly many different ones to choose from," she replied. "Now, these are the most popular," she said, picking up twin pack of tampons, "And so are these," she added handing him a packet of pads.
"Okay, great, thanks," he said with a nod.
"Unless your girlfriend prefers the invisible ones, does she?" the woman questioned.
Harm had no response – what the hell were invisible ones?
"What about wings? With or without?" the woman probed.
"Um…with…" he said, he was a pilot after all.
The woman laughed at the tall, handsome man in naval uniform in front of her who looked like he had fought many battles and yet he was flustered by such simple choices.
"Perhaps you should have gotten her to write it down for you," she said sympathetically, patting his arm.
"I should have," he concurred. "But she is quite unwell at the moment, been in bed all week."
"Then maybe you should also get these," she said handing him a packet called 'all-nighters'.
Harm just nodded, after all, if the woman said he should get them, who was he to argue.
With the products in a shopping basket, Harm threw in a dozen more items. Some he knew Mac would like, such as the candy bars, some, like the boxes of tissues were just decoys to take the focus of the main purchase.
When he finally made it to her apartment, he found her dozing on the sofa. Quietly easing the door closed behind him, he tiptoed across to her and placed the bags on the coffee table. Leaning down he kissed her forehead, just like he'd done every other time he'd come in this week, and readjusted her blanket.
"Harm," Mac murmured as she stirred.
"Hey, Marine," he said returning to her side and caressing her face. "How are you feeling?"
Mac frowned as tears filled her eyes, Harm had his answer.
"Anything I can do?" he asked as his fingers raked through her messy locks.
"Did you get my text?" she asked and Harm nodded to the bags on the table. "Thank you."
"Anytime," he said brightly, praying she'd never ask him again.
After a trip to the bathroom, washing her face and running a brush through her hair, Mac wandered out to find Harm in the kitchen making her some hot honey and lemon tea.
Knowing Mac wasn't up for much conversation, Harm leant against the kitchen counter and opened his arms. Although a little hesitant at first, Mac made her way to him and slumped against his body, arms dangling at her side. Quickly, Harm wrapped her in an embraced and kissed the top of her head. For a long while he just held her and smiled, if only to himself, when her arms snaked around his body and she pressed closer to him.
Several long deep sighs later, Mac pulled back and slowly looked up at him.
"Thank you," she all but whispered. "I needed that."
"Anytime," he replied and this time he definitely meant it.
With their case done, closing arguments given by Bud, who had been second chair, and a win to his name, Harm had no plans and nothing to work on for the weekend. Instead, he had his sea bag in the trunk with his briefcase and he planned to camp out in Mac's apartment until Sunday night.
Something Mac wasn't aware of until she stumbled out of her bedroom for the kitchen at 0200 and walked straight into Harm. If she hadn't been so tired and confused, she would have jumped a mile and kicked his Navy butt as it was, she simply wrapped her arms around him and clung to him.
By Saturday afternoon, Mac was feeling marginally better. She had showered and actually dressed, even if it was sweats, and decided they should take a small walk so she could get some fresh air. Although it was a mild day and Mac was getting her coat, Harm wasn't all too sure that physical activity was a good idea. Still, in the end, he compromised by agreeing to a lap around the block and he ensured he held her hand the whole time so he could be the one setting the pace. Mac's didn't object.
As good as the fresh air felt, Mac was asleep two minutes after they returned. Harm had left her on the sofa and had to laugh when he returned with their water to find her sound asleep, still sitting up.
"C'mon, marine," he said, scooping her up and carrying her to the bedroom. "You may as well be comfortable." Laying her on the bed, Harm undid her shoes and gently tugged them off. Grabbing the spare blankets nearby, Harm covered her up and closed the blinds. "Sleep well," he whispered before kissing her head and closing the door behind him.
Nearing 2100 hours, Harm was feeling hungry and decided soup with grilled cheese sandwiches was the way to go.
Making enough for two, Harm laden the tray and made his way to Mac's bedroom, carefully he opened the door before placing the tray on the bedside table, closest to him. As Harm turned on the bedside lamp, Mac stirred and rubbed her eyes, Harm grinned thinking it was the most adorable sight he'd seen in a long time.
"Dinner time, Mac," he said, waiting for her to move so he could help her sit up. A grumbled response was all he got. "Come on, marine," he encouraged, rubbing her arm. "Grilled cheese, just the way you like it."
Mac's eyes opened and followed the scent of her favourite snack. "Really?" she questioned, sitting up with his help.
"Really," he confirmed. "Three types of cheeses with the Swiss on top."
As Mac settled down to eat, Harm kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed beside her before eating his. It was a scene of domesticity and while it was lost on Mac, it certainly wasn't missed by Harm. This is what he had wanted for so very long and he realized after sitting in her bed, even if it was only for supper, that he never wanted to leave.
After their provisions were cleared away and Harm had brushed off the last of the crumbs, Mac repositioned herself against Harm's shoulder. It took no encouragement for him to raise his arm and let her slip onto his body before wrapping an arm around her. Using the other one, he pulled up the quilt and sighed deeply as her hand came up and rested on his chest. That sealed it, he definitely wasn't leaving.
Mac awoke Sunday morning feeling much better. Still nowhere near recovered, her perpetual headache seemed to have gone and her body felt more like her own. She had slept soundly and had even managed some nice dreams. As she went to get up for the bathroom, she found she was being held firmly in place by Harm and it took her more than a few minutes to realise the dreams had been the reality.
Abandoning thoughts of the bathroom, Mac settled back down against him and studied his face. He was older than she remembered; there were more lines around his eyes and a peppering of grey around his temple. When was the last time they'd been this close? Personally or physically? She couldn't remember. Life had been busy and they were still in their place of limbo, still, she told herself, she had to pay more attention.
Slowly, she raised her hand and caressed his face.
Why was it that this couldn't be a permanent arrangement?
Why was it that when things became 'interesting' one of them ran a mile?
Why was he looking at her that way?
"Morning," he said quietly, his blue eyes fixed on her brown ones as her fingers stopped on his cheek.
"Morning," she whispered, not too sure what to do now.
"Sleep well?" he asked, bring his hand up her arm and resting it on her back.
"Very," she replied with a nod. "You?"
"Never better," he replied truthfully. It was the best night's sleep in living memory.
"Good," she said, biting down on her bottom lip, not wanting this conversation to end but not knowing what to say.
"How are you feeling today?" he asked, his fingers brushing against her back.
"Much better than yesterday," she replied with a grateful smile.
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. "You're still warm."
"I know," she said with a nod, although she wasn't too sure whether it was the flu or his presence in her bed increasing her temperature. "A few days and I'll be as good as new."
Harm had wanted to smile in encouragement at her declaration but he realized that the moment she felt better he would be relegated back to friend, so instead he frowned, he didn't want to be friend, not anymore.
"Why the frown?" she asked, being bold and caressing his face.
"Once you're better, you won't want me hanging around so much," he said honestly.
"Says who?" she countered and Harm could have sworn she pressed closer to him.
"You mean you do?" he questioned, needing to hear it specifically from her.
"Meaning, I like this," she said quietly, cupping his face. "And I'd like to continue to do this with you when I'm well."
"This, as in…." he prompted.
"This, as in me and you," she said… "And bed," she added bravely.
Harm's eyes widened. Sure, that's what he wanted too but never in a million years had he expected those to be the words that came from Mac's mouth.
"I'd like that too," he replied, pulling her closer. "Perhaps when you're better you would consider letting me take you out on a date."
"I would consider that," she said with a shy smile. "And perhaps after a few dates you would consider joining me in bed."
"Oh, I'd definitely consider that," he replied grinning as he tried to figure out how many dates would have to take place before he was in her bed for recreational reasons.
"Before you ask," she said, reading his mind, "It's three."
"Three what?" he asked, trying to feign ignorance.
"Three dates… and before you play coy, you know exactly what I mean," she said raising an eyebrow.
"Do I?" he said, toying with her.
"Well, if you don't I can make it five or seven or…" she countered enjoying the panic spreading across his face.
"No, no, I completely understand, three it is," he said quickly. There was no way he was going to jeopardize this, no way on earth!
"Now, in the meantime," she said settling into his arms once more. "Think we can sleep a bit longer before you get me breakfast."
"Of course we can," he said, adjusting the covers once more. "It's your bed, we can do anything you like."
"Just remember that, sailor," she sassed as she closed her eyes.
"Oh, I will," he replied. He most definitely would considering those words, not to mention images were seared into his brain.
As Mac drifted back to sleep, Harm's brain went into overdrive….just how far apart did these dates have to take place? Could he not take her to breakfast, lunch and dinner on the first day she felt well? Or would that seem desperate?
In the end he decided not to over think it, after all, this weekend hadn't been about getting into her bed and look how it turned out. Harm decided to be spontaneous and allow whatever was to come to come. He was going to be patient and relaxed and calm about the whole thing, even if it killed him. After all, right now, with Mac asleep in his arms, he felt he already had the most important thing – he had her she was regaining her health and that's all that really mattered.