Soooo... just rewatched the Umbara arc... again... and thought, I wonder what this would be like from the point of view of one of the clones? And so, this was born. I pretty much spent all day yesterday and today working on it. I just couldn't stop! Hope you enjoy!

Kix walked out of the medbay with a sigh. The last few days had been very rough and tiring, especially for Kix, the medic. He and the 501st were on their way back to Coruscant from Umbara.

The planet's name was like a curse word to the 501st now. They had gotten through it, but at a heavy price. Krell had hated the clones, and did as much as he could to get them killed. They would never forget what they had had to face on that planet.

The door to the barracks aboard their cruiser slid open as Kix approached. He walked inside, laid down on the bunk above Jesse, and closed his eyes. But the empty silence, instead of helping Kix sleep, only kept him awake. It was the complete opposite of Umbara, where they were constantly under attack, and the sound of blasters and explosions filled the ears of every clone trooper.

Kix felt that he had gone through more than most, being the medic. He felt like every death was his fault, because he was supposed to save his brothers. He could have done so much more, but he didn't. So many were dead because of him.

Kix laid there for a few more minutes, trying to overcome the deafening silence. Soon, though, he got out of bed and walked into the hallway. He found himself wandering down to the engine room. He sat against the wall and let the comforting hum of the engines wash over him. The noise may have succeeded in drowning out the silence, but they failed to quiet Kix's thoughts.

Flashback

The Umbaran fog clouded Kix's vision as he dragged one of his wounded brothers to safety. "We gotta get these guys outta here," Kix said.

He was about to turn around for more when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and heard the voice of Captain Rex: "Forget it. We have to leave them."

He spun around in outrage. "We can't just leave them, sir!"

"We don't have a choice. That's an order!" Rex turned around and started walking off.

"You sound like General Krell," Kix said, naming their overly violent, clone-hating subsitute general. Rex halted and turned around to face his medic.

"Look, Kix. It's more important to save yourself right now." Rex knelt down in front of Kix. "If we survive, you can patch up the wounded later." He took out a pair of macrobinoculars and looked toward the Umbaran airbase.

Kix looked behind him, where so many of his brothers lay wounded and dying. He could hear Rex telling Fives and Hardcase about their new mission, but Kix couldn't pay attention. Part of him wanted to just obey his captain, as that's what a soldier was supposed to do. Follow orders.

But the other half of him said, Forget Rex and his orders! Go save your brothers! It killed Kix to have to leave them to die, when he had the opportunity to help them. That was a medic's duty.

"Come on, Kix," Rex said as he started climbing the hill behind them. Kix threw a glance back at the brothers that would die because of him if he kept going. He took a deep breath as he made his decision.

He turned around and followed Rex up the hill.

As he walked away from his doomed brothers, he silently screamed, I'm sorry!

Present

But no matter how many times Kix said or thought those words, it would never make up for the losses. Kix still wondered if he had made the right desicion. So many of his brothers had died on Umbara, all because of Krell. He had thrown them into battles that were basically suicide missions, without a care in the world about how many of them would make it out. And if you defied him… you ended up dead.

Flashback

Kix marched in a line towards the execution of Fives and Jesse. They had directly disobeyed General Krell's orders by commandeering several Umbaran starfighters and blowing up their supply ship - and Hardcase along with it. Kix was still in shock that Hardcase was dead, and now he was being forced to execute Fives and Jesse for a heroic act that would help them take Umbara. It was all too much.

Kix knew it was wrong. Tup agreed with him. But they were both in the sqad ordered to carry out the execution, and they had to do this… Or did they? Kix was a medic. He was supposed to save his fellow brothers, not kill them.

Kix pushed these thoughts out of his mind as Dogma yelled, "Line up the prisoners!"

Fives and Jesse were brought out in front of them. "Would the prisoners request to be blindfolded?" Dogma asked. Fives and Jesse remained silent, although if looks could kill, Dogma would have dropped dead right in front of them.

"I'll take that as a no," Dogma said.

"I hope you can live with yourself, Dogma," Fives spat. Kix smiled internally. Fighting until the very end, he thought.

"Ready weapons!"

Kix could hear Jesse mutter to Fives, "I never thought we'd go out this way." He saw Rex shake his head and close his eyes.

"Aim!" Kix lifted the gun. His finger brushed the trigger that would soon end Fives' life.

He took a deep breath and cast a quick glance at the troopers around him. Determination hardened Tup's face beside him.

"Wait!" It was Fives. "This is wrong, and we all know it. The general is making a mistake, and he needs to be called on it. No clone should have to go out this way!" Kix threw a sideways glance at Tup, who looked unsure of what to do.

"We are loyal soldiers, and we follow orders. But we are not a bunch of unthinking droids! We are men, and we must be trusted to make the right desicions, especially when the orders we are given are wrong!" Kix was about to drop his gun, when Dogma's voice suddenly interrupted Fives' speech.

"Fire!"

Kix closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

When he opened them, there were several smoking holes in the wall. None of the shots had hit Fives or Jesse. Kix breathed a small sigh of relief.

"What… what happened?" Dogma said. Kix and the squad dropped their guns on the ground and looked at Dogma with defiance.

"They're doing the right thing, Dogma," Rex said. "Because if this is how soldiers are rewarded for heroic actions, then one day every man in this battalion may face a similar fate. Take off their binders!"

"No. We have orders! We have to go through with this!" Dogma yelled in desperation.

"Good luck finding anyone to do it."

Present

Sure, Kix hadn't killed Fives or Jesse, but he had considered it. Kix couldn't believe that he would have blindly followed that monster Krell's orders to kill his fellow troopers. This thought led to another time when he and the 501st had, in fact, followed Krell's orders and paid the highest price.

Flashback

Kix knelt down beside one of his fallen brothers, taking a pulse.

Nothing.

He stood up and dodged another blaster bolt. The Umbarans had stolen the 212th's armor and weapons, and the 501st was under attack. Kix hadn't seen Rex for a while, and was hoping he would show up soon. The legion had been thrown into chaos. Kix fired his blaster rapidly, taking down the armor-clad Umbarans with deadly accuracy.

Kix suddenly saw Rex running across the battlefield, waving his arms. As Rex drew nearer, Kix could hear him yelling, "They're not Umbarans! They're clones!"

What?

"Take off your helmets! Show them you're not the enemy!"

Kix stopped firing and looked around him in confusion. He looked across the battlefield to the other clones, who had also ceased fire as Rex ran across the battlefield, tackling one of the supposed Umbarans. He removed their helmet, revealing -

A clone's face. "Look! They're clones! We're all clones!" Rex yelled.

Kix and Tup removed their helmets in shock. Kix looked across the battlefield, to one of the troopers, lying motionless on the ground with a smoking hole in his chest. Kix had just shot him himself, not moments ago.

The 501st and the 212th stepped up to each other. They looked into each other's eyes, each realizing that the other had killed their men.

Kix had turned around and started to walk away, when he was stopped by a young 212th trooper. "You're a medic, right?" he asked, eyeing the red symbol on Kix's shoulder.

"Yeah," Kix responded.

"Can you come check out our platoon leader?" the rookie asked. "It's Waxer. He's badly injured."

"Sure," Kix said. He couldn't ignore a plea for help.

As Kix approached Waxer, he could tell that he was dying. He knelt beside him to assess the damage. He was breathing heavily.

"I'm Kix," Kix said. "I'm a medic. You're going to be fine."

"No… I'm not," Waxer coughed. "Get Rex…. Please."

"No, I can't leave you!" Kix said. "You'll die!"

"Rex," Waxer said. Kix reluctantly stood and ran towards the 501st. He found Rex talking with Dogma.

"Rex!" he said. "I've found their platoon leader. It's Waxer. He's still alive." He led Rex and Dogma over to where Waxer was.

"Waxer…" Rex said as he removed the dying trooper's helmet. "Tell me who gave you the orders to attack us."

Waxer grimaced in pain as he replied, "It… it was General Krell…" He coughed. "He sent us to these coordinates to stop the enemy… we thought… they were wearing our armor…" He coughed again. His breath was growing shallower. Kix could only watch, helpless, as Waxer struggled to hold on.

"But… it was…" A tear rolled down Waxer's face. "You…"

Waxer went limp and breathed no more.

Rex stood, a look of pure rage on his face. Kix stared down at Waxer's body, thinking that if he had stayed and helped him instead of going to get Rex, he might still be alive.

It was the other battle all over again. He had left Waxer to die, just like his other brothers. It was all his fault…

Present

Kix sat alone in the engine room, wishing for the memories to stop. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He didn't know how long he sat there, but he eventually heard approaching footsteps.

"Kix?"

Kix looked up. It was Fives.

"What is it?" Kix mumbled.

"I saw you leave the barracks," Fives said. "You've been gone for a while, so I went looking for you. Looks like I finally found you. Can't sleep?"

"Yeah… Umbara messed me up pretty bad," Kix said.

"I think it messed all of us up," Fives said. He sat down beside Kix, who was dejectedly looking at the ground.

"Missing Hardcase?" Fives asked.

"Well… I guess you could say I miss all of them," Kix replied.

Fives was silent.

"I guess I feel like… they all died because of me. Like… if I'd made better decisions, they'd still be alive. If I'd tried to stop Hardcase from going on that mission of yours-"

"Stop," Fives said suddenly. "Just stop, okay?" Kix looked at Fives. He looked… sad, more than anything.

Fives sighed. "I know how you feel."

"You do?" Kix said. "I don't know, that's a pretty impressive feat."

"Yes, I do. I know how it feels to have a brother one day, and the next day… he's gone. And afterwards… you feel like you could have done more to prevent it."

Kix was silent as Fives was now the one staring at the floor with a depressed look on his face. After a while, Kix spoke:

"Tell me."

Fives gave him a look that said: "I seriously do not want to talk about this right now."

Kix sighed. "Look, Fives. I'm a medic. And I know that sometimes, when you're in pain, you have to go through an even greater pain to overcome it. That's all I'm going to say."

Fives was still silent.

"Fine then." Kix stood up. "See you later, Fives." He started to walk away. Then Fives' voice rang out across the engine room.

"His name was Echo."

Kix turned. He walked back and sat back down.

"He was my best friend. There was this explosion, and-"

"Slow it down," Kix said. "Tell me from the beginning."

Flashback

Fives ducked under another blaster bolt from the oncoming droids. The yellow lava from below cast a gold glow over the chaotic landing platform.

He noticed that a commando droid had jumped up and started manning the turret across from them. He glanced at Echo. It looked like his fellow ARC trooper had seen it as well. Echo dashed out from behind their cover and grabbed a shield from one of the fallen droids.

"This is our only chance!" Echo said. "We have to stop him!" He ran towards their ship.

Fives kept him covered. He's going to make it! he thought. He was on the ramp of the ship. Fives saw the turret turning towards Echo. Time seemed to slow as Fives realized what it was going to do.

"Echo! Look out!" Fives screamed. But it was too late - the droid fired.

The ship exploded in a ball blinding white light. Fives was thrown onto his back. He quickly recovered and stood.

"Echo!" he screamed as he stared down at the smoking helmet that lay on the ground in front of him. No… it wasn't possible... Echo couldn't be…

"We have to go now," Kenobi said. Fives shook his head and took one last look at the ruined platform before following.

He trailed behind the group, still reeling in shock from what had just happened.

Echo is gone.

He kept repeating this thought in his head, trying to get his stubborn brain to accept it.

Echo is gone.

No, he just got separated from the group.

He's gone.

He'll be back any second now, reg manual in hand, telling us how to get out of this mess.

Echo is gone.

No, he's going to come-

Echo. Is. Gone.

He's…

Gone. Dead, you di'kut! He's dead and he's never coming back!

Fives took one last look over his shoulder. Of course, there was no sign of the trooper with the familiar blue handprint on his armor.

Fives was truly alone.

He took a deep breath and followed the rest of the group into the unknown.

Present

Fives and Kix sat there, listening to the hum of the engines, each grieving his own fallen brothers. After a while, Fives spoke again:

"You're right, Kix. I do feel a bit better now."

"Glad I could help, vod. We'll never forget our brothers. Any of them. It's good to be sad sometimes, but we should remember them in good ways too. I mean… imagine Dogma right now."

Fives laughed. "He would be livid!"

"Get back to your bunks, or I'll tell the general!" Kix said in an imitation of Dogma's commanding voice.

"Hardcase wouldn't have it," Fives said. "He would give Dogma a good high five… in the face!"

Kix laughed even harder as the two troopers sat in the engine room, remembering all their fallen brothers.

Hope you liked it! Also I wrote an epilogue, so check that out too. :)

PS. 5 DAYS TILL FORCE AWAKENS! We got tickets for Monday 12/21! YAAAAY SO EXCITED! :D :D :D (sorry... had to fangirl a bit there... :)