A/N: Hey, you guys! It's your favorite author! That's right! I'm back!

audience: (boos, hisses, and –)

Oi! Who threw the tomato?! Do you guys hate me that much? (breaks into tears)

Hahaha! Yay it's meeeeeee! Okay, so I'm gonna tell you lovelies the truth: I cannot figure out ANYTHING to write! My world is about to end! (sorry about that, I do love the dramatics)

Please don't hate me. This story will not be very good considering the fact that I have no inspiration. Wait a minute, I GOT IT! (proceeds to do a very poor "happy dance")

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not, and will not EVER own Harry Potter and the other characters. Unless . . . (grins evilly)

Pickup Lines:

"My precious Lilyflower, you pain my wounded heart with every one of your refusals, and I might as well just die if you do not ever accept my invitations . . ."

"I can burry you right now if it means that you'll shut up."

– – – – –

"Evans, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"Potter, did it hurt when I punched you?"

"Wait, what – OW!"

– – – – –

"Lily, I gave you all of my heart . . ."

"Yes, and I mistook it for trash and I threw it away."

– – – – –

"Evans, I have never met somebody so beautiful, kind, smart, and modest."

"And I have never met somebody so rude, dumb, big-headed, and someone who's hair looks like it just met a tornado."

– – – – –

"Lily, you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

"What's so new about that? I think everyone already knows."

– – – – –

"Yo, Evans, say, I'm a guy, you're a girl . . ."

"Yes, Potter. And that is a quill and this is a book. I'm glad you figured that out."

– – – – –

"Roses are red,
Violets are violet –"

"Potter, those aren't even the right words! Violets are blue."

"But, then, why are they called violets? Why not blues?"

"Nothing rhymes with violet! But, everything rhymes with blue!"

"Actually, Evans, 'nothing' does not end in 'iolet,' and 'everything' does not end in 'oo.' You really need to get you facts – OW, EVANS! RIGHT IN THE CROTCH, REALLY?"

– – – – –

"You know, Evans, several girls would gladly date me. In fact, the swoon over me."

"Potter, I'm pretty sure that they are swooning over the person next to you."

"But there is no one next to –"

"My point exactly."

– – – – –

"Evans, are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see."

"Potter, I'm from England, and I go to school in Scotland. And a 'ten' in what, exactly?"

"Um . . ."

"That's what I thought. Now move over, I'm late for class."

– – – – –

"Carnations are pink,
Lilies are white.
I will stop hexing Snape,
If you spend the night."

"No thanks. I'd rather not be mentally scarred for the rest of my life . . ."

– – – – –

"Evans, so I was looking in the dictionary and –"

"Wait, you were looking at a book? Followup question: you know what a dictionary is? This day has WAY to many surprises in store."

– – – – –

"Evans, go out with me. For Harry's sake."

"Who?"

"Harry. It's the name of OUR kid. He will look just like me, but he will have YOUR eyes!"

"Right. Potter, your holiday at Fantasy Land is over. You need to come back down to Hogwarts."

– – – – –

"Evans, why are you touching my forehead."

"To check for a temperature."

"Why?"

"Because I needed to know the reason why you act mentally unstable: brain fever, or you're just like that."

– – – – –

"Someone might have poured Felix Felicis into my drink. I feel like I'm going to get lucky with you!"

"Are you sure that it was not just a potion that makes you head swell up?"

– – – – –

"Go out with me, Lils?"

"Why not?"

"Wait, what –" (Lily leans in to kiss him) "I knew you would never be able to resist my wonderful charm!"

"Don't let it get to you. Your head might just explode."

A/N: I've been seeing a lot of these, and I was all like, oh my gosh I have to do this. So I did! Hope you liked this crappy fic! Reviews means that I will publish more stories!

Stay Cray!