Hiya everyone. This is a new fic, isn't going to be very long-maybe 2 or 3 chapters but hopefully it'll make up for it in content.
Letters of love are messages from angels.
Dear Sam,
I don't really know why I'm writing this letter, it just feels right. So many words are said and not really thought through and so many are not said at all so I wanted to say a few things I can't say out loud.
First of all, I just want to thank you. Thank you for rescuing me from a place I truly didn't believe I could escape. I'd being trying so hard to fill a void that I couldn't see that all I was doing was getting myself in deeper. Alone, I would have given up but once I had you in my sights, I knew I had to make myself good enough for you. You deserve the very best and I can only hope I'm giving you that.
I got to know Alex before I knew you which was slightly strange and must have looked odd to you- a thirty something man hanging around with a ten year old boy. But your son is one stubborn minded kid- he was dead set on making you like me. I do have to say –I didn't make him!
It hurt a lot when you suggested we play it cool- I thought I'd done something wrong but now I realise it was a defence mechanism and I don't blame you for acting like that.
Having thought I had lost everything, being with you has given me a new life, it's given me a way of letting go of my old life and throwing myself into you and Alex and everything that comes with that. And I've never felt happier than today.
At 2:36am I stood at the foot of the bed and watched our daughter being placed on your belly. I cut the cord and watched as they weighed her and put a band on her ankle that read 'baby kovac'. I watched you smile up at me and then take her off the doctor. I thought I was going to explode. This tiny thing that we've waited 9 months 3 days for, this baby who took all of eight hours to appear (counting the 2 you spent in the bath). This little baby who nearly made me crash the car. She is finally here.
I'm looking at her now, as I write this. She's stretching and wriggling around in her enormous sleeper suit. I'm worried she might wake up and cry cos I want you to sleep a bit more- you need it.
Alex is asleep in the armchair, worn out from the excitement of being woken at 12am to go to the hospital. He nearly threw up when your waters broke so Susan took him on rounds with her. He came back about half an hour ago.
He says he wants his sister to be called Midget cos she's so small. I'm seeing that becoming a nickname if we're not careful.
Carter popped in with Abby, Gallant and Neela, and Susan, Chuck and Cosmo are coming by later to see the newbie too.
So, I told you this letter was pointless. But seriously, I just wanted to say thank you for being with me no matter what and thank you for agreeing to marry me as soon as you've lost some weight (your words not mine, you're perfect to me) and thank you for sharing your son with me, and for carrying our baby for longer than contracted.
Sweet dreams. I love you with all of my heart
L x