A/N: A Creek fiction I've been meaning to write since Oct 2015, welcome to Closeted! In this one, we see Tweek and Craig tryna work out some feelings while doin' some fun and crazy stuff together!
I guess you could also call this one a slight AU as the boys are around 16 in this fic, there's no way I'm writing sex scenes for 10 year old boys, I'd get arrested and wouldn't be able to sleep at night!
This fic takes place 4 weeks after the events of Tweek x Craig so just imagine everything's the same but they're teens and it's sometime between the later events of season 19 and before season 20.
Also quickly before we proceed:
THIS FIC IS RATED M FOR SEXUAL CONTENT AND LANGUAGE. THIS FIC MAY CONTAIN THEMES INAPPROPRIATE FOR PERSONS UNDER THE AGE OF 18. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
I'd also like to mention that South Park doesn't belong to me and belongs to the wonderful Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Thanks for scarring me for life with the Christmas Critters and Mr Garrison's sex change episode when I was 9 on Christmas Eve. Changed my world forever!
But yeah, you have been warned, I do like to write about sexy time. But if you're here, welcome and please enjoy a fic two years in the making! Read and review!!
OoOoOoOoOo
Chapter One
"You're okay with going to Tweak Bros?" Craig asked, his hand clasped in Tweek's. "I mean, you spend a lot of time there, we can go somewhere else it you want."
Tweek shook his head, his blonde hair bouncing around his pale face. "It's cool," he said, a powdery cloud of vapor crawling out of his mouth. "W-we serve cheap drinks on F-Fridays. Two for one on any h-hot or cold drinks, anyone you want."
Tweek didn't mind going to Tweak Bros, after all it was basically an extension of his house two streets over, and spending anytime with Craig before he had to go home for seven to kick off the school holidays was okay by him.
Craig fiddled with a cigarette between his lips. "Warm up, save money and look cute at the same time? Sounds like a plan."
Tweek nodded, tugging on his green scarf that cushioned his cheeks.
The two for one had been a ruse, a lure created by his parents as an excuse to see more of Craig knowing that he couldn't resist a nice drink, and Tweak Bros made nice drinks.
It wasn't like they didn't see enough of him on a regular basis with the sleepovers, movie nights, gaming sessions, hanging out after school and Craig spending nearly every moment of his free time at Tweek's or vice versa.
It had, in fact, quickly become strange not to see Craig on a daily basis.
Craig had eased into becoming apart of the family and Mr. and Mrs. Tweak doted on Craig like he was their own son.
A month ago, Tweek could have never anticipated how big a part Craig would become in his life before the whole yaoi fiasco at South Park elementary.
He had become his whole life, they'd become attached at the hip, wandering through town together, sitting down for lunch at school together, being together always and, for the brief moments between always, his parents talking about he and Craig being together.
But Tweek didn't mind.
Until four weeks ago Tweek had always had to admire Craig from a distance, surrounded by his friends and chatting with the likes of Eric Cartman and his friends, Kyle, Stan and Kenny, albeit always with a scowl on his face.
Tweek could get that, his adventures with Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman had been horrendous to put it nicely.
Tweek had only really kept in contact with Kenny, who he'd grown to like more than the others.
Kenny had a bit of a mixed reputation around town, no two residents of South Park would talk to you about him the same way.
But as Tweek had come to know, Kenny wasn't that bad a person.
Kenny had a reputation for sleeping around and hitting on everyone. Cartman called him the town slut, but Kenny seemed to take pride in this. He insisted that if the town psychopath saw him as being a bigger whore than his Mother, then that in itself was an achievement.
He was widely regarded as sleazy, loose and porn-crazed, and as much as Kenny had come to be his friend, even Tweek couldn't deny these rumors.
Pure and simply Kenny loved sex, he lived for it, it didn't matter what kind. Kenny wasn't fussy.
But the longer Tweek had known him, the more his golden personality had started to shine through.
Kenny never forced anyone to do anything, he never insisted or pressured you if you said no.
He was kind and could take a hit for his friends.
He loved his sister and worked hard to make sure he had food on the table for her when she got home from school.
He lived a pretty shit life, but you wouldn't have known it unless he talked about it, and he talked about it little.
He was an alright guy, and Tweek felt pretty at ease around him, a surprise to the others in his life.
But yes, life had changed drastically for Tweek Tweak in the past few weeks.
Up until about a month ago, Tweek had been an outcast, plain and simply.
Most of the kids who lived in South Park were considered outcasts, violent, cynical, gothic or too preoccupied with other things to pay attention in class, but most of them had fellow outcasts to call friends.
A month ago Tweek hadn't had any friends.
It was definitely nicer, having Kenny as a friend and Craig as someone more.
With Craig and Kenny by his side, the number of people who had picked on Tweek and singled him out for so long had greatly receded.
The bullying hadn't stopped instantly but it had come to a grinding halt within about a week.
Tweek was pretty sure Kenny and Craig had beat some people up.
He remembered seeing Kenny in the cafeteria, sitting with his friends, who had shot him a big, cheesy smile, one of his front teeth missing.
Usually Tweek would have worried about the repercussions, his new friends getting hurt, but it had turned out okay and Craig had insisted he not worry so not worry he'd decided to do.
Craig had settled into the role of pretending to be Tweek's boyfriend very well, if Tweek said so himself. Unlike Tweek, Tweek knew that Craig had had experiences with relationships before, even if none of them had ended particularly well, as Kenny often mentioned.
Four weeks ago, Tweek and Craig had decided to be the bigger people and pretend to be an item for the sake of South Park's sanity. And so far it was going pretty okay. Initially the idea of being Craig's boyfriend and doing boyfriend-y things with Craig had freaked Tweek out.
People rarely showed Tweek attention and to go from being completely ignored by most to having someone hold you hand, tuck your hair behind your ears and pull you to his chest had made Tweek sweat.
But over time, Tweek had found Craig's presence to be comforting, welcome even, something he never thought he'd catch himself saying in a million years.
Tweek started to live for Craig's company, waiting for his good mornings texts before breakfast, rushing to meet him at the bus stop every morning as they headed to school, texting him goodnight and wishing him sweet dreams.
Tweek wasn't sure at what point things changed.
Maybe it was when he started to crave Craig's touch, his long fingers playing in his messy hair as they huddled together on the couch watching Red Racer.
Maybe it was when Tweek held Craig's a hand a little tighter, a little surer, dreading the time when he'd have to let go.
Or maybe it was when Tweek had seriously thought about kissing him much to his own shock, even though the very idea turned his insides into jelly.
Many things had come out of dating Craig, and even though their time together so far had been short, Tweek had come to realize a lot about himself.
Tweek had always known he was gay long before he started dating Craig, as much as he had tried to deny it.
Tweek had never been interested in girls and the evidence had surmounted against him the older he grew. It had come to a paramount the year he turned 14, gym lockers, after baseball practice, people hitting the showers and changing out of the sports uniforms.
Craig stepping out of a shower cubicle, his jeans on but shirtless, water droplets glittery like rain on his taut body, as cliché as he knew that sounded.
He remembered skipping class and hiding in the boys toilets down the hall.
It took an hour and a half for him to catch his breath.
Tweek had had a crush on Craig since the fourth grade but shit, hormones worked wonders.
From there, it had gotten worse.
Every time Tweek saw Craig from then on, he seemed radiant, glowing, impossibly beautiful and impossibly unattainable.
But Craig was straight, Tweek knew that.
Craig had only ever dated girls and had adamantly insisted to the Asian girls that he wasn't gay, not like he 'wasn't gay' like he was still closeted like Tweek, but 'wasn't gay' as in definitely 'wasn't gay'.
Sure, it had kind of hurt, but it didn't really matter to Tweek anyways. If he and Craig were dating for real, Tweek was sure he'd sooner die of a heart attack then muster up the courage to kiss him.
Fake or not, Tweek was happy with the way things were.
Fake dating Craig wasn't so bad.
Craig was a pretty laid back guy.
Sure sometimes he was quick to judge people but once you got on his good side you were cool.
Being around Craig had been quite beneficial to Tweek, around him his nervousness melted away, the remains of his usually crippling anxiety reduced down to the occasional stammer or some stuttering.
It was good enough for Tweek, it sure beat having sweaty palms and a racing heart at all times.
The only time Tweek felt incredibly anxious around Craig was when he did something unintentionally sensual or extra boyfriend-y, like tucking him into bed or carrying him up the stairs.
Tweek shook his head, trying to calm his pounding heart.
Enough about that.
Tweek squeezed Craig's hand luxuriously, his thumb rubbing against the side of Craig's hand. He needed to distract himself. "What you t-thinking about g-getting?"
Craig's hand unconsciously tightened around his. Tweek's chest constricted. It wasn't helping. "I'm thinking an iced chai." He puffed a mouthful of smoke into the biting winter air, making sure he blew away from Tweek. He knew how Tweek felt about second hand smoke. "I mean, you guys have that right?"
"Y-yes," said Tweek hesitantly, watching the miniature smoke cloud disappear into the air. He gave a small laugh, drawing Craig's eyes to him. Tweek felt a blush illuminate his cheeks. "U-um, w-w-what happened to warming up t-though?"
Craig removed what was left of his cigarette from his mouth, dropping it and crunching it into the pavement with his snow capped boots. "Dude, if you haven't tried chai, it's legendary." He stuffed his free hand into his blue coat pocket, crossing the road that stretched from the park to the cinema sidewalk. "Between hot coffee and cold chai, chai's the clear winner."
Tweek couldn't help but smile at that. Craig rarely opened up to anyone, usually only to his long time friends, Jimmy, Token and Clyde. Tweek was apart of that circle now.
"W-well we r-recently got a new i-import of a-Arabica c-coffee." Tweek kicked out at a soda can at his feet empty and haphazardly cast away. "Y-you should try it, i-it's nice."
Craig's eyes found Tweek's and Tweek could feel himself practically melting into the pavement despite the presence of winter.
It was nice being close to someone.
This was all still so new to Tweek.
"Doesn't coffee make you jittery though?" Craig asked, reaching into his front pocket and pulling out a stick of bubblegum. "Want one?" He held out a neatly wrapped square to Tweek.
Tweek waved a hand. "N-not for me, th-thanks."
"Suit yourself." Said Craig, unwrapping the square and placing the pink candy inside his mouth. "It's tutti frutti though, the king flavor." He discarded the wrapper into a metal bin as they walked along the path. Tweek could see Tweek Bros just up ahead. "Have you considered not drinking coffee, or at least drinking it less? Maybe you'll feel less anxious. It used to make Ruby anxious."
Tweek chuckled, a thin smile touching his face. "P-please, C-Craig. Me? The s-son of the o-owners of Tweak Bros? N-not drinking c-c-coffee? B-blasphemy!"
Tweek was rarely the kind to joke around, especially considering that half of all social interactions involving jokes and poking fun at himself seemed to result in either people voicing concern for him or people not getting the joke, which was an extremely awkward situation for everyone involved.
Craig hummed under his breath, something he often did when he found something funny and Tweek knew he'd hit the mark.
"Alright, coffee addict," Craig hummed, holding open the café door. With a start Tweek realized they'd reached their destination. "In you go."
Tweek smiled another watery smile and pushed past Craig gently.
He could feel his body heat emanating off of him, his warmth sinking into his skin as his chest brushed Craig's torso.
Craig was so much taller than he was.
He had this expression on his face that Tweek caught out the corner of his eye as he passed him.
It was, intense?
Kind of like he was checking him out too?
Too?
No, no, he wasn't checking Craig out.
Tweek's hands brushed Craig's shirt as he wobbled through the door, trying to catch his balance.
He needed to get a grip.
He heard the café door shut behind him, the bell at the top left corner tinkling to signify more customers.
Not that anyone could hear it anyways.
From outside, Tweek Bros hadn't looked all that busy, but inside it was brimming with people.
Tweek Bros had become quite popular since the gentrification of South Park and even though better, classier cafes and coffee outlets had sprung up all over town, Tweek Bros had become quite popular with the newer residents and visitors to the newly expanded mountain town.
Also the hipster popultation was huge.
And apparently hipsters loved Tweek Bros.
If only they knew Richard Tweak was lacing their coffee with crack.
Craig raised a hand to his brow, almost as if he was giving a salute. "I think I see an empty booth at the back there." He squinted through the crowds of people. He took Tweek's hand in his again, leading them forward. "Come on."
It was a relief to reach the booth, to sit down away from the noise of the other patrons who swarmed the place like insects.
Tweek never would have thought that the coffee shop he'd grown up in would induce his claustrophobia so much.
The place was packed.
Tweek's eyes scanned the room as Craig slid into the seat next to him, shrugging off his heavy jacket as Tweek rewrapped his scarf around his neck.
The crowd mostly consisted of families and couples, eating cake and chugging down lattes.
10 years ago, none of the Tweaks could've told you this place would be brimming like it was today.
And the noise.
That was when Tweek heard a low whistle to his left.
He jumped and cocked his head towards the sound, Craig's hand finding his arm as it so often did now that they were 'official'.
A familiar voice spoke to his right, but Tweek couldn't see who it belonged to past Craig. "Holy shit," the voice purred, his words soft amongst the din. "That wouldn't happen to be Craig Fucker would it?"
As soon as the words left his mouth, Tweek knew who stood before Craig.
"Hey, K-Kenny." Tweek gargled, leaning over the table and waving an erratic hand.
Tweek was met with a toothy smile, Kenny's freckled hand waving back at him. "And my favorite Tweak, Tweek Tweak." He laughed, giving him a wink. He reached out a finger to poke Craig's arm with. "Fancy seeing you here."
Craig sniffed, batting away Kenny's hand. "Please don't tell me you work here too." He crossed his arms stiffly when Kenny's hand made it's return.
It was only then that Tweek realized Kenny was donned in the Tweek Bros uniform.
The uniform consisted of a brown apron, a white shirt, a red tie, pants and a pair of shiny black shoes.
Tweek was taking some much needed (forced) leave from work in order to spend (dare he say it) more time with Craig, but even after a month it was hard to forget the uniform that hadn't changed in over ten years.
But this made four jobs that Kenny was working now.
Four.
What more did a kid need to do to get in front?
He was 16, he should be out in the world having the time of his life.
But Kenny had responsibilities that other teens would never dream of having.
But the uniform certainly suited him though.
At Craig's deflection, Kenny reached over and poked Tweek on the shoulder instead, his grin stretching into a smile akin to the Cheshire cat's. "Unfortunately for you." He tutted, clawing at his apron pocket and retrieving a small notebook and a pen with teeth marks in it. "Now, what can I get you, handsome?" he sung, tearing out a page scrawled in notes and bunching it into his pocket.
"Iced chai." Craig said, annoyed tones overriding his usually emotionless voice.
Kenny scribbled down Craig's order, his pen scratching against the paper as he dotted a full stop so hard that it tore into the next page.
He took a step forward, closer to Craig, his pen twirling between his fingers.
Kenny moved closer to Craig until their bodies were almost touching.
Craig looked ready to shove him away.
"Iced chai." Kenny said, moving closer to Craig still. "And is that with," he paused, bending down at the waist until his mouth was right above Craig's ear. He sighed a sigh of hot breath, sending involuntary goosebumps over the nape of Craig's neck. Tweek could hear the grin in his words. "Extra cream?"
Craig pushed him away roughly, Kenny skidding across the floor as he regained his feet, unable to suppress a laugh. "Seriously, jackass." Craig hissed, tugging on his chullo. "Just get me my drink."
Kenny straightened his tie, which had somehow made it's way over his shoulder and down his back, and cleared his throat.
You could see he was trying not to laugh.
"But you do want whipped cream though?" he managed to ask between giggles, pulling his apron tighter to his waist.
Kenny was really thin.
Craig flipped him off in response, turning his attention to a frayed, finger-print covered menu in front of him.
Kenny chuckled in response, taking down some notes. "Sure thing, creamy."
Tweek was next.
Kenny's hand found his shoulder and Tweek flinched under his touch.
As he had with Craig, Kenny leant in impossibly close. "And what about you, cutie?" He whispered, his voice low and seductive. He titled his head to the side, he could've brushed noses with Tweek if he was so inclined. "The usual?"
Say what you will about Kenny but most people found it hard to admit that Kenny was anything but beautiful.
Tall and slender with thick eyelashes that fanned his freckled cheeks a little too perfectly, Kenny was a looker whether you wanted to admit it or not.
Tweek heard himself squawk as if from a distance. "H-h-how w-would you k-k-k-?"
"Dude, you've only ever drunk plain black coffee." Said Kenny, all traces of sensuality gone from his face and voice. "Besides," He slapped Tweek's shoulder making Tweek shriek. "You're my buddy! Buddies know things!"
Craig swatted Kenny's hand from Tweek's shoulder who retracted it playfully and cradled his hand theatrically. Craig's hand replaced Kenny's and Tweek instantly felt a little more at ease.
Tweek wasn't Kenny but Tweek knew Craig was giving Kenny his coldest glare. "I don't know why they even hired you." He droned in his usual low tone, his fingers pressing into Tweek's shirt. "Customers don't like being harassed."
Kenny laughed, his slim shoulders rolling in a half-hearted shrug. "What can I say? The customers like it, no shit, they really do."
"Yeah," Craig rolled his eyes. "I'm sure."
Kenny looked at Craig through his thick eyelashes, his blue eyes twinkling. "Riddle me this then. How many times in a week does a 30 something year old in a dead end job get to perve on this 16 year old hotness?" He stuffed the notebook into his apron pocket, striking a provocative pose that drew many eyes. "Why do you think we have so many regulars now?" He added as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm hot shit, Tucker."
Again Craig rolled his eyes but this time in resignation.
Craig wasn't shy in expressing how much of a dipshit he thought Kenny was, often and loudly.
But Tweek also knew that Craig hardly considered bickering with Kenny worth his time. "You keep telling yourself that, McCormick."
Once again, Kenny shrugged. "Hey, what can I say? I'm just a sex object trying to live my life."
And then right on cue a woman in her forties slinked past Kenny, her shoulders rolled back, her long hair tossed over her shoulder.
There was something in the way she walked, so tall and sensual that drew several more pairs of eyes from around the café with bated breath.
Tweek was sure that if he had been straight he would have found her beautiful too.
Kenny grinned and slapped her ass, his eyes fixed on Craig's.
"Oh!" She gasped with a voice like music. Her green eyes were bright and searching, looking for someone she could point her finger at. Her eyes fell on Kenny. "Oh." She sighed again, but this time her voice had change.
Her words seemed lower when she spoke, more drawn out, intentionally hesitant.
She licked her red lips, a finger reaching out and tracing Kenny's prominent collarbone. "Kenneth," she drawled, her arms draped so tightly around his body that he practically wore her like a coat. "Sweetie, I've been meaning to try some of your apple pie." Her cheek brushed his. She mewled into his ear. "Come take my order?"
Kenny winked at Craig, his eyes finally leaving his as he acknowledged her with a wink. "Be right there, Mrs. Anderson." He sung, a finger ghosting the hollow of her neck.
"I'll be waiting." She purred, tapping him on the ass as she glided back to her table, her overcoat fluttering around her like wings.
Kenny sighed a disgustingly sweet sigh as he turned on his heel and ghosted her back to her booth. "I'll be right back, boys." He called over his shoulder as he was swallowed up by the crowd.
A table of five left and Tweek could just see Kenny attending to Mrs. Anderson through a tiny clearing in the bustle of the cafe.
Kenny and Mrs. Anderson were already getting aquainted. He was practically on her lap as he took her order.
Tweek watched opened mouthed.
How the fuck was it possible that someone could be so over brimming with confidence in all aspects of their life?
Leave it to Kenny to pick up anyone anywhere.
He watched as Anderson pulled a twenty dollar note from her shirt, no doubt from her bra, and hand it to Kenny and Tweek shuddered.
Then again, he was glad he wasn't Kenny.
"And I'm fucking traumatized." Came Craig's voice, interrupting Tweek's thoughts.
Tweek guessed he'd been watching Kenny too.
Watching Kenny's antics was like watching a car crash.
You just couldn't look away.
Craig placed an elbow up on the table, his hand on his cheek, as if to act as a shield against the potential opening to a porno that unfolded in front of them.
"Hope he washes his hands before he brings those drinks."
"Y-yeah." Was all Tweek could muster, his mind someplace else.
He couldn't wait for that coffee, he kind of felt on edge.
Whereas most people tended to avoid coffee when they weren't feeling too hot, Tweek sought it's familiar bitter taste as a means of calming his nerves.
It just went to show how addicted he was to the stuff, he could barely function without it.
Maybe Craig was right, maybe he should quit drinking it for a while and see how he felt.
Tweek quickly dismissed the idea as the very thought of giving up his precious caffeine made him stressed.
"So, you hear that Clyde's throwing a party tomorrow?"
Tweek started, his hands flying into an iron clasp on his lap. "H-huh?" he groaned, his fingers fidgeting against his palms.
"Clyde's having a party tomorrow." Craig repeated patiently, more slowly this time.
For some reason Craig had a shit ton more patience for Tweek than he did for the countless others in his life.
Tweek didn't know why but he didn't question it.
It was nice for someone to not call you out for your foggy-ness for once.
"Reckons he wants to be the first kid to throw one to kick off the holidays." Craig continued. "He doesn't know that fatass is throwing one tonight. But Clyde will be the first who has people actually show up."
"D-don't h-his parents c-care?" Tweek squirmed under Craig's dark eyes. "I-I mean, i-it's gonna be at his h-house right?"
Craig nodded, drumming his fingers on the table. "Clyde's Dad doesn't give a shit. To be honest he doesn't give a shit about anything these days. He's taking Clyde's sister to go see their Auntie two states over, but Clyde can't go. Grounded. Something about not putting the toilet seat down again and disrespecting his dead Mom. Don't know where Clyde equates grounded with party but whatever. Free beer."
Tweek nodded as if he were following but in reality he wasn't.
Tweek hadn't known Clyde all that long.
Clyde had been a familiar face his entire life but that was expected when you grew up in a town where everyone knew everyone.
Craig and Clyde had a bit of a unique relationship, Craig called Clyde a cry baby constantly and they seemed to hit each other a lot but Craig had been the first person to cross over to Clyde's side when he went a.w.o.l during their marathon game of The Stick of Truth.
Either way, they seemed to enjoy each others company, even if they liked to complain about each other sometimes.
Mostly.
Craig was watching him again, his eyes washing over his face.
He was waiting for him to say something and a pang of urgency unfolded in Tweek's chest. "Y-yeah?" Tweek spluttered. It sounded more like a question than a statement. "I-I mean n-no." He tried again. He tucked a straying blonde hair behind his ear. "N-no, I-I, um, didn't hear about it. A-Are you going?"
This question seemed to annoy Craig, but Tweek didn't worry that he was the one that annoyed him.
Craig rarely got annoyed with Tweek.
Yet again, Tweek never questioned it.
"Clyde's just stopped bitching about the last party I ditched three months ago. Usually I'd say fuck it and not go but he's got the new Dragon Age that he somehow conned his Dad into paying for. Besides, Dad's home and anywhere beats being home with Dad."
Tweek couldn't help but feel sorry for Craig, a twinge of guilt blossoming in his gut.
Although Craig's Dad had come to accept Craig's being 'gay', Craig and his Dad found it hard to get along at the best of times.
Craig's friends often thought it was because Craig and Thomas were too similar, Tweek didn't knew where he stood on the issue.
He settled on making small talk.
"Oh yeah, c-can't miss out on Dragon Age."
Tweek had no idea why Craig was even talking to him about parties.
Tweek had never really shown much interest in going to parties, let alone even been to one firsthand.
He was usually the last person on people's minds to invite when they handed out the invitations, after all, Tweek Tweak wasn't exactly the life of the party.
His eyes flickered back to Craig's.
He was still watching him.
For some reason it made uneasy.
He looked like he wanted to ask him something.
Not to Tweek's surprise but to his anticipation Craig did in fact ask him something.
"You wanna come with?"
Oh.
So that's what it was.
Tweek was dumbfounded.
Like he said, not exactly the life of the party.
"M-me?" Tweek gulped. His hand flew to his neck, his pulse leaping under his skin.
Even the thought of going to a party with music and people and drinks sent him into a tailspin.
But Craig seemed calm and collected about it. "Yeah, I know it's not really your thing but it'd be cool if you came along." He took Tweek's hand, holding it beneath his on the table. "We could just hang out and whatever."
Tweek swallowed nosily, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him.
Craig was right there, parties were not his thing.
People in general were not his thing.
But Craig wanted him to go.
With him.
Tweek felt a blush rise to his cheeks amongst the chaos of his thoughts.
It wasn't everyday you got to hang out with your crush at a party, to hang out at a party where people would see you together and fawn over you.
It wasn't everyday that Tweek and Craig's fake relationship felt surreally real.
A few weeks ago Tweek wouldn't even have considered it for a second but he seriously considered going now.
It was a chance to do something a little different for a change with Craig and for once his anticipation seemed to outweigh his anxiety.
"You think about it, okay." Said Craig softly, his arm brushing Tweek's. "It's tomorrow after 8 anyways so you've still got a chance to think about it. Text me and let me know."
And there it was again, Craig's unfaltering patience.
Tweek's whole body felt warm.
"Order up!" Came a cheery voice signaling Kenny's return and Tweek swore he jumped out of his skin.
"ARGGGHH!" Tweek shrieked, his hand tearing out of Craig's as his arms rushed to protect his face.
No one bothered to look at Tweek when he screamed anymore it was such a regular occurrence.
And thank god for that too.
People staring only made it worse.
A hand patted his head. "Chill Tweek-ster, it's only me." Kenny held up a tan tray that supported two drinks, one of them in a tall glass the other in a plain mug. "I brought the goods!"
"Bought time." Said Craig, eyeing the tall glass that was without a doubt his chai.
"Uh-uh!" Kenny tutted impishly as he wagged a finger in front of Craig. "Only nice patrons at Tweek Bros get drinks."
A deep set frown creased Craig's face. He raised both middle fingers and said between grit teeth, "I'll show you the opposite of nice if you don't give me my drink now, McCormick."
"Ouch!" Kenny hissed, rubbing his shoulders as if a draught had just seeped in. He almost spilt Craig's drink in the process. "Ice cold, Tucker! Just like your chai." Kenny placed the tall glass of milky ice tea topped with whipped cream and cinnamon in front of him. "Cream like you wanted." He added, passing Craig a silver teaspoon. "But drinking exotic spice tea cold with all the frills? So much for being boring."
Craig swirled the spoon around his drink until the whipped cream melded as one with the tan liquid. "It's cinnamon and it's iced." He resolved with a shrug. He poked an ice cube that had risen to the top, bobbing around the surface. "And it has ice. Just the way I like it."
Kenny's fingers were already wrapped around Tweek's drink. "Whatever you say, big boy." He placed a hot coffee down in front of Tweek, served in a plain white mug. "And for my Tweek-ster I have regular black coffee. Seems like you're the boring one now." He straightened up, the tray falling against his side. "But what can I say? Relationships change people. You'll never see me in one."
"Tammy, Kelly, Butters." Craig counted off on his fingers, his eyes never leaving his chai.
"Hey!" Kenny scoffed, the tray falling wanton to his side. "Let me remind you that Kelly and Tammy lasted less than a week combined! Hardly a relationship."
Craig sipped his chai. "You say that likes it's a good thing."
"Well, I can't be both the town whore and the devoted boyfriend." Kenny said as he waved his hands about wildly. "Gotta stay available. It's what the people want, it's what Kenny wants!"
"Y-you've dated B-Butters?" Tweek heard himself ask as if from a distance, he hadn't even registered that he'd said anything until Kenny looked right at him.
He opened his mouth to apologize but Kenny threw his head back in a laugh. "Oh no, buddy." He whipped a fake tear from his right eye. "Butters is just really high on my to fuck list"
Tweek groaned, raising his coffee to his lips, black liquid sloshing everywhere.
For fucks sake he shouldn't have asked.
Some things you just never asked Kenneth McCormick, ever.
"Dude," Craig groaned. "No one wants to hear about your sex life." Tweek was glad he wasn't the only one disgusted. "Seriously, quit telling everyone."
"Why?" Kenny teased. "You jealous you and Tweek aren't high on my priority list?"
Tweek spat steaming hot coffee everywhere.
"OH SWEET JESUS!"
Craig's arms wrapped around him, the side of Tweek's traumatized face pressed into his shirt. "Shut the fuck up, McCormick." He spat with enough venom to kill a man.
But this only seemed to amuse Kenny. He raised a hand in surrender. "Hey, hey! I'm just saying. One hottie?" He pointed to himself. "Sure," he shrugged. "But three hotties?" His hand motioned in a circle from him to Tweek and Craig. "I'm telling you, three little words." He licked his lips, wanting to savor the moment. "Ménage à trois."
Craig's chair scraped harshly against the floor as he leapt to his feet and just like that before anyone could stop him, Kenny was at the opposite end of the room, flashing Craig his biggest shit eating grin.
He passed a young mother and her 6 year old daughter as he made his escape and he took the hand of the little girl who immediately began chatting to him adamantly.
He lead them to any empty table, he and the girl hand in hand her tiny fingers tangled with his.
It would've been sweet really, if he hadn't used the same hand he'd slapped Mrs. Anderson's ass with earlier.
"What. A. Shit. Lord." Craig whispered under his breath in a dangerously low voice. "Seriously, I'll beat the shit out of him."
Tweek drained half his coffee cup nervously.
Craig would though.
Maybe if he took big enough gulps his shoulders would stop shaking sooner.
He wiped his mouth across the back of his sleeve, eyeing Craig hesitantly out the corner of his eye with a sideways glance.
Craig being mad made him seriously anxious, but to his surprise Craig seemed to let it go pretty quickly.
His eyes fell on Tweek's drink, already almost empty. Big gulps. "Shit," he said, a tone of surprise coloring his voice. "You're already almost done. Holy shit, you drink quick." He snatched up his drink still three quarters full and raised it to his lips. "One sec."
"U-um, C-Craig!" Tweek shrilled in exasperation, waving his hands frantically. "Y-you don't g-gotta-"
Craig swallowed a mouthful of tea, tilting his head towards Tweek. "Gotta get you home for dinner, remember?" He swigged another mouthful of chai. "Besides this place is too crowded, let's ditch."
Within approximately three seconds Craig had almost finished his drink, a feat Tweek could never hope to achieve seeing as he was lactose intolerant.
Craig looked at Tweek over the glass. "You fine to head out?"
Tweek nodded, his eyes on Craig's lips perched on the rim of the glass.
Craig ducked his head. "Cool." He chugged the rest of his drink down, slamming the now empty glass down on the table.
He reached into his pocket, retrieving a Red Racer themed wallet popping it open with his thumb.
To Tweek's knowledge Craig was the only kid in school over the age of 9 who had a cartoon wallet and didn't get the shit beat out of him at recess.
But then again no one wanted to cross Craig.
He went to throw eight dollars into the tab, missing completely.
Tweek shrieked and retrieved the money from under the table, scarred from having been subjected to the copious amount of gum stuck under it.
It was sad to see what an over glorified shit hole this place had become.
Tweek watched as Craig went to add another note, his hand shooting out and grabbing his.
"O-oh, um, n-no, I'll pay f-for mine." Tweek stuttered, reaching for his wallet.
Craig tugged on his searching hand, directing it to Tweek's side. "I don't mind. You're my boyfriend, Tweek, and it's only five bucks." Tweek would never get used to Craig calling him his boyfriend to his face. The money dangled between Craig's fingers. "Let me shout." He slapped the extra five down on the tab, slipping into his overcoat before Tweek had time to protest. "You ready to go?"
"Y-yeah." Tweek nodded, his neck twitching sporadically. "But I p-pay next time."
Craig said nothing but took his hand. He didn't need to. "Come on," that gentle voice, a voice only reserved for him. "I'll walk you home."
OoOoOoOoOo
Except for Tweek's recounting the afternoon events, dinner had been pretty uneventful.
Steak and vegetables with a serving of coffee.
Tweek wasn't complaining.
Tweek's parents chatted amongst themselves about their days, but mostly about what they got up to now that they didn't have to work the coffee shop six days a week like they had most of their lives.
With Tweek Bros' new popularity and foundation as a hipster paradise, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak were free to do as they pleased the three days they didn't have to show up to work.
Tweek wondered if his Mom and Dad had recognized Kenny when he'd applied for part-time, seeing as they conducted all the screenings for any potential fresh faced employees.
Somehow Tweek doubted it. Mrs. and Mrs. Tweak's hours had been cut down to 24 hours a week and they were beyond ecstatic.
So about South Park's newer areas they talked about. Sodasopa, Ctpa, new restaurants and rival cafes, Kenny's house even.
Mr. and Mrs. Tweak were living the life, and they wanted to make sure everyone knew about it.
In between discussing whether Whole Foods had better discounts on wholegrain or gluten free pasta, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak asked Tweek about his day.
Of course, it started, as always, with the usual things, subjects in the Tweak house hold that couldn't go more than a day without being discussed.
And of course that included the classic topic of school.
School.
School for one never proposed the basis for a particularly interesting conversation and Tweek wasn't even sure why his parents asked him about it.
Today was the night before holidays, what kid in their right mind would want to talk about school when two entire weeks of freedom were dangling before them?
Like to every other kid ever, school was a steaming pile of homework, budget cuts, evading bullies with at least two years on you and being helplessly trapped for seven hours a day five days a week at the one place you desperately did not want to be.
School was a rat race and you couldn't hope to get out no matter how much you wanted out. But as Richard Tweak had once said 'I don't send you to a free public high school for you to complain about school' and Tweek decided to mumble a quick 'i-it's great' and end the conversation promptly by chugging the remainder of his coffee.
Then it was onto Craig.
Craig was always a popular topic at the table ever since Richard and his Mom had sat him down at the table those truly unforgettable four weeks ago and his Dad had uttered those six immortal words.
'Well, we heard you were gay.'
It took all of Tweek's being to fight down the hideous cringe that dared to scrunch up his face and all his willpower to resist the urge to bang his head hard against the table as he had a month ago when the words had left his Dad's mouth.
At least they had been supportive, Tweek's parents were pretty supportive of anything, and Tweek knew that if Richard Tweak went to sleep at night resting easy knowing he served his customers drugs in their coffee to keep them coming back for more, then he definitely lost no z's knowing his son was gay.
Yep, Tweek's parents gave no shits.
Not like Craig's Dad, who had been a right asshole to Craig when he'd first been 'outed' by Pc Principal.
Thomas had made it his personal mission to prove to Craig that you couldn't be gay and happy. The whole town had supported he and Craig's been together and, even now, their faking their relationship had been their way of paying that support back.
But being accepted for who you are by everyone but your father?
Even for a kid like Craig who took no shit, it had really hurt.
Craig and his Father rarely got along but even then Thomas was his Dad, he needed that support, whether he was truly gay or not.
Tweek remembered how affected Craig had been by his Dad's blatant homophobia and lack of acceptance and couldn't help wondering to himself at the time if Craig was actually gay, he'd been that affected by it.
He couldn't help but consider if he'd lied about being straight, like Tweek had flat-out in an attempt to shake the rumors and stay closeted a little while longer.
South Park had changed and it was hard to forget that it was no longer the conservative, homophobic, racist town that it had once been, marginalizing itself from the rest of the world, a tiny stretch of houses dotted along a one way road out in the middle of nowhere.
Even then, it'd been nice to not be the center of attention for so long.
Tweek wished he could go back to that, back to his sexuality being his, and only his, business.
He was in way too deep now, the only reason Craig was cool with being his boyfriend was because Craig thought he was straight.
And Craig was most probably straight too.
Tweek talked about Craig a little, relaying the events that had unfolded at the café but leaving out a few choice details. (He swore he'd never get the image of Kenny in Mrs. Anderson's lap out of his head.)
Noting his tight lips on the subject of Craig but deciding that Tweek's levels of distress weren't dire enough for it to be considered something of concern, Mr. and Mrs. Tweak moved onto their next favorite subject that rolled around four times a year at the end of each school term.
"So Tweek," munched Mr. Tweak between a mouthful of carrots. "Got anything planned for the holidays?"
Tweek thought about it.
So far no, he rarely planned out his holidays.
But there was the house party at Clyde's if he so chose to go.
'Not if you count your son as considering going to a house party overflowing with alcohol and horny teenagers a plan for the break.'
The moment he thought it, Tweek was glad he hadn't accidentally said the words aloud as he so often did in these kinds of situations.
He could feel both his parents' eyes trained on him, waiting.
He shakily stabbed a green bean with his fork and placed it between his lips. "U-um, not r-r-really." He managed after he swallowed the bean, the mush like ashes in his mouth. "M-maybe h-hanging out with C-Craig-g. The usual."
This seemed to please his parents.
His Dad nodded in approval, his Mom's face lit up in a smile.
Richard's eyes flickered to Tweek's empty mug, sitting forgotten above his plate.
"He's out of coffee, dear."
Mrs. Tweak pushed out her chair, grabbing the coffee pot from the center of the table.
To any other family having coffee at seven at night would probably be considered at least a little bizarre.
To the Tweaks, this was normal.
She sauntered to his side, taking the mug and pouring a long stream of black liquid into it's previously empty contents. "Here you are, sweetie." She said sweetly, patting his head affectionately before returning to her seat.
Tweek took a deep sip from the mug, the warmth from the espresso inside seeping through his fingers. "T-thanks, Mom."
This wasn't unusual.
For whatever reason Tweek's parents seemed to reward him whenever he talked about Craig or being gay.
Usually it had been money but upon suffering a miniature financial crisis after they had somehow given Tweek almost 500 dollars over the course of three weeks, Mrs. and Mr. Tweak had decided to switch out to free coffee refills.
And there was never a shortage of coffee in the Tweak house.
"Nothing else?" This time it was his Mother who spoke, buttering a slice of bread for herself.
Suspicion peaked in Tweek's chest.
"N-no, why?"
His mother and father exchanged a look.
Not a 'well, how the fuck do we tell him?' kind of a look, but a look nevertheless.
Tweek's eyes shifted rapidly between them, he could feel his heart rate increasing.
Why the fuck were they hesitating?
This pregnant pause was killing him.
Pregnant pause.
Pregnant?
Were they having another fucking baby?
His Dad cleared his throat before Tweek had any more time to weigh his options. "Well son," he began. Holy fuck, they totally were. "Your Mom and I have been thinking," Babies were germ factories and assholes, if he even mentioned the word 'baby' Tweek was 100% sure he was going to faint. "And we want to take a trip."
Tweek was so underwhelmed by the statement that for the first time in days his mind blanked.
"W-what?"
So no baby?
"With Tweek Bros basically running itself we can take that overseas trip we've always wanted to take." His Mom spoke with an excitement Tweek hadn't heard out of her for years. It wasn't that Mrs. Tweak hated her life, she just didn't lead the most interesting one. "We haven't left South Park since our honeymoon." She turned back to Richard. "Where was it again, honey?"
Richard chewed on a cube of steak. "Utah."
"Oh," Mrs. Tweak gasped to herself softly. "I'm sorry."
Richard shot her a look but was quick to disregard her. "Your Mom and I could use some much needed vacation time, South Park's become so lively lately and sometimes you just need to get away from it all." Richard cut into his steak with a calculative hand, another perfect cube heading towards his mouth. "I mean, you can understand where I'm coming from, right son?"
It sure beat having another baby but to be honest, he didn't.
Tweek's Mom and Dad rarely set foot in Tweek Bros anymore, four days a week tops.
Their whole lives had become a series of decisions on where to eat next in the fancier part of town.
The biggest concern in their lives now was whether to splurge on almond milk or try the cheaper alternative rice variety from Whole Foods, unlike when Tweek was in 3rd grade and his Mom and Dad had faced the closure of Tweek Bros for good thanks to bigger corporate companies.
Tweek nodded.
"W-where d-do you t-think you're g-gonna go?" He asked, and tried to appear at least a little interested.
It was hard to when he already knew his parents were thinking of a way to tell him he wouldn't be accompanying them.
Tweek didn't fare well with travel.
"Maldives." Mrs. Tweak piped up from her end of the table. "Nice and tropical."
"Yeah," Richard sighed contently as if he were already living it up in paradise. "White sandy beaches, palm trees, cocktails, our hands are tied son, we're sold."
Tweek bobbed his head. "T-that sounds nice. Y-you guys are g-gonna have a great time."
He didn't have to look up to see the expressions of relief gracing his parents faces.
To be honest, Tweek didn't want to go.
Too many stresses, too many stimuli.
He much preferred the familiarity of South Park as shitty as it could be.
Richard reached over and touched the back of Tweek's hand, who shied away from the touch. "You sure you're okay with it, kiddo? Usually you don't take these things too well."
By not taking it too well Tweek knew he meant staying home alone.
The potential of home invasion, the house burning down, getting murdered or signing for parcels, Tweek had a bit of a history with house sitting.
But this time was different.
He had Craig.
"Y-yeah, Dad. You and Mom go enjoy a h-holiday together. C-Craig and I can h-hang out while you're g-gone."
"More potatoes, sweetie?" Asked Mrs. Tweek right on cue, a silver pot filled with creamy mash between her hands as if it had manifested out of thin air.
Tweek gave a light shake of his head, the momentum only interrupted by a brief groan. "N-no thanks, I'm gonna go to b-b-bed." He was tired and he didn't really want to talk about the Maldives much.
"At 7:30, son?" Said Richard, checking his watch.
"You sure you're alright, sweetie?" Asked his Mom, tentatively twirling a wooden spoon between her fingers.
"Y-yeah, urgggggh," Tweek was cut off with a moan. "J-just really t-tired. S-school and all." And to be honest, he was definately ready for bed.
Richard nodded and motioned to the stairs. "Alright, buddy. Head up to bed."
Tweek nodded, pushing out his chair, the oak wood scraping against the floor.
Mr. Tweak waved a hand as Tweek went to grab his half empty dinner plate. "We'll get the dishes, Tweek. You're fine to go."
Tweek's eyes fell on the still huge pile of carrots and buttered slice of bread untouched on his plate.
Usually it was a standard rule that he couldn't leave the table until he finished everything on his plate.
Tweek decided not to push it any further.
He ascended the stairs two at a time, making his way to the bathroom where he promptly brushed his teeth with a quivering hand, his neck ticking so badly that he almost spat the suds in his mouth directly onto the bathroom floor.
He didn't know why he was so jittery but he seemed to be all over the place as he readied himself for bed.
Maybe it was because Craig's proposition of him coming to Clyde's party with him was nagginf at the back of his mind.
He should really get back to Craig tonight, as nervous as that made him feel.
He didn't even know if he wanted to go.
Not bothering to shower, Tweek rinsed his mouth out with some purple Listerine and sauntered into his bedroom, changing out of his day clothes and into a pair of space pajamas that Craig had bought for him their second week together.
Changing took twice as long as usual, Tweek unable to stop his fingers from fumbling.
When he finally crawled into bed and wrapped himself under the covers Tweek breathed a quick sigh of relief.
Not that the relief would last long anyways.
Pulling his phone from his bedside table (that he'd forgotten to take to school with him this morning, rest in peace), he clicked the screen open with a trembling finger, the light illuminating his sunken face.
He squinted into the harsh light, his sleep deprived eyes blinking as he read the notification that graced his screen.
"Kenny McCormick?" Tweek whispered to himself shakily, unsure himself.
His heart thudded painfully, he was seriously feeling on edge.
Now he had to read a message from Kenny too.
Tweek pulled himself into a sitting position in bed, his back propped against the wooden headboard, his feet sticking out under the covers.
He held his phone in his clammy hands, he was shaking like a leaf.
What could Kenny possibly want?
How did he even get his number?
Kenny may have been Tweek's friend but Tweek rarely gave out his number to anyone.
Too many potential serial killers.
Especially in South Park.
Tweek ran an agitated hand through his hair.
He had started to sweat now, maybe he should have taken that shower.
Was Kenny coming onto him?
Kenny was a good dude but Kenny also enjoyed a good fling.
But Kenny wouldn't do that right?
Kenny knew he was in a relationship.
What if Kenny knew the truth, that he and Craig weren't in a relationship and faking it for the whole town?
But how could he possibly know?
Unless himself or Craig had told him themselves there was no way he could possibly know that the whole gay lovers thing was a ruse.
Tweek gulped, his heart galloping in his chest at what felt like a million miles per hour.
Deep down inside somewhere in his overwhelmed being, Tweek knew he was overreacting, but he was seriously freaking out, he felt like he was going to have a heart attack any second.
Kenny, Kenny, Kenny.
He couldn't take it anymore.
What was it that Craig had told him to start implementing, to start trying during a recent lunch break?
Facing his fears?
But facing his fears was out of the question, especially if it involved Kenny knowing the truth.
Tweek stared at the screen flashing blue with a text message notification, Kenny's name illuminated beneath the words in white 'you have one new text message.'
Face your fears.
Tweek didn't like it, he dreaded it, but he knew what he had to do.
An ultimatum stood before him.
Read the message and possibly die from it's contents (because Kenny was reaching out for him for one of two things. A) a sexual favor, or B) calling him out on his four weeks of lying to everyone.)
Or not read the message and go sleepless and potentially have to fight off the underpants gnomes again?
He squeezed his eyes shut, the silence of his room and the house drowned out by the unbelievably loud pounding in his ears, all the blood rushing to his head.
Craig would have to wait, it was Kenny he had to deal with now.
It was now or never.
"GAH, TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek screamed as he forced his finger across the screen.
His phone directed to his Messages folder and opened up Kenny's unread text.
Words could not describe the carved out hollow feeling that exploded in Tweek's chest when his eyes flitted across the screen.
It made no sense.
His heart ceased to beat, a horrible, winding breathlessness stealing all the oxygen from his lungs, unable to even cry out or groan because his voice was so caught in his throat.
Everything was ruined, it was over, Tweek wanted to erase the words from his brain, forget everything, cease to exist.
And even then Tweek read the one sentence message for a third time:
"I know you and Craig aren't really a thing."
OoOoOoOoOo
A/N: Says she doesn't wanna write about 10 year olds doing the sex, writes about Kenny grooming middle aged women instead... Shameful.
Also any of you guys get the Orgasmo referrence? If you haven't seen that movie go watch it! It fucked me up for three days afterwards, it's crazy!
This is my first South Park and Creek fic I've published on the site, you're looking at about three days/7 hours of work right here so if you have any feedback (good or bad I don't care I don't care I love getting emails from Fanfiction) then please send it my way!
Depending on reception, this will be a multi chapter fanfic so look forward to it! Thanks always! ~KennBoKenn