Don't own anything but thought..
She is the the most beautiful woman in the world.. The one person that I would do anything for.. She
is like the sun; warm and brilliant.. I could bask in her glow for the rest of my life.. But just like the
sun she leaves me and I'm left with a cool a darkness, counting the minutes until i can have her
back.. The long, grueling minutes that I endure when she is with him..
Does she know that a part of me dies every time they're together? Does she notice the chills
that run down my body when she says my name.. Or how she makes me smile when she
says she loves me.. When she stares at me I swear she can see right through me.. I
wonder if she can see my microscopic heart beat faster for her.. Can she tell it
beats for her and her only?
She can be a million miles away and I still fiend for her.. When we're together all I can think about
is ways to get more of her.. When's she gone I think of ways to get her back, even for a few more
second.. Then the pain comes.. The raw sensation that feels like its eating away at my body
scares me and befor I know it I'm laying on the floor sobbing... She is like heroin,
my heroin..
I pray for the day when she tells me that she wants me and only me.. The day that she says she
wants to run away from it all.. I hope it comes soon because I don't know how long I can take
this punishment.. I contemplate my life with her because I know in death I will always be
by her side, watching over her.. I wonder if she would love me even in death, or would
she just replace me?
I think about everything that I have said and done.. I know that she cannot leave her beautiful
life for one with me.. That is why I make my little insicion.. The small crimson lines through
ivory flesh remind me of how pure our love is, but also how dark.. Blood spills from
the tiny cuts as I silently thank God that she cannot see me right now.. She would
think I was a monster if she knew what I was doing for her.. She would be
repulsed if she knew that I did this just to make sure I was still alive..To
make sure that her absence hasn't killed me yet..
As I watch the crimson liquid pour from my arms I hear the sweet sound of my telephone
going off.. I know its her, I can tell by the song that is playing.. The sweetest song
in the world.. I hear her voice and I swear my heart stops beating.. She's crying
and its tearing me apart to hear her like this.. 'He's gone' she says and I want
to be happy but the sadness in her voice is ripping me to pieces.. I want to
hold her and comfort her but I can't.. She's to far away..
My beautiful Maria pours her heart out and it reminds me of the way my blood pours
for her.. She says she'll do anything to have him back and I realize that he is her
heroin.. As she sobs into my ear I feel foolish for thinking she could ever want
someone like me.. I tell her everything will be ok.. I will make it ok.. I will do
anything to make her smile..