Glancing at his phone every few seconds, he counted down the minutes until the display showed 15:00. Noora had insisted on meeting at a safe distance from school and anybody that could see them. So here he was, leaning against a brick wall a good ten minutes walk from Nissen and scoured the street for any sign of her blond hair and red lips.
The anticipation made him twist his phone in his fingers. His - hopefully - cool facade was betrayed the thoughts and worries tumbling inside his head. Was she coming or was this just her payback? It had felt too good to be true and he had never really done this before. Sure, William had taken several girls on what they had called dates, but his intentions had always been focused on the payoff at his apartment after, never on the hot cocoa and conversation.
He wanted to do it right this time, no bullshit, not with her. William had replayed Friday night and the following morning over and over in his head, and the way her gaze had drawn shivers across his body still echoed in the tingles in his stomach. Every word she had said in those moments when it had been just them, every sigh that had spilled from her lips; he was intent on memorizing every movement, every breath. He cared for her, more than he probably should. She was important to him and the very real possibility of this not working out scared him. It was therefor he savored each moment with her and burned every little detail into his memory. For if nothing else, he would have them to cling to.
She thought in a different way, saw the world in sharp contrasts when it was all a blur of greys to him. He was the definition of what Noora deemed bad and toxic about today's society, and he knew it. As often as she had told him, over and over again, what and asshole and careless fuckboy he was, William wasn't blind to the image people had of him. He had his fair share of fun and parties and maybe she was right. He shouldn't use girls for sex, but part of him knew that they used him just as much.
She was his polar opposite. He had been with many girls and clearly nothing seemed farther from her mind than sex, let alone random hook ups.
William hosted the biggest parties, drugs and alcohol included. Noora didn't drink (that particular fact hadn't surprised him at all).
He was a fuckboy, she cared for other people.
Noora has a clear moral compass, pointing 180 degrees away from his life.
William cared too, but he could count the number of people on one hand; and he cared for her, however much she might refuse so believe it. He had gotten good at hiding himself away, the fewer emotions the fewer problems; it made life that much easier.
He would tell her all those things later, show her that he wasn't just the vain, egoistic asshole that screwed over girls by the dozen. But not now. Today they would enjoy the hot chocolate and he would stare at the coco stains on her laughing lips.
He was the south pole on her compass and if that was what it took, he would walk north for her.
His converse kicked against the little stones lining the sidewalk. 15:02 and the street was still empty. Maybe this was too much, too soon. He had even considered buying her flowers yesterday but disregarded the idea at the thought of her reaction to breakfast on Saturday. The surprise on her face had quickly given way to the underlaying panic and fear of commitment at the sight of the fired eggs and served orange juice. No, flowers would have been too much.
William scrolled his phone, half heartedly considering texting Chris to take his mind of Noora's lateness. He pushed his hair back into his hoody just to have it fall back into his eyes a moment later. But there was no time to tuck it away again as Noora's figure had appeared at the street corner, scurrying towards him.
Her hurrying towards him gave him time to study her face once more. He sometimes wondered if she actually realized just how beautiful she was. No make up and only her favorite red lip stick - she must have just reapplied a fresh coat - to complement her light skin. Maybe it was her fierce spirit cloaked by a look of pure innocence that had made his eyes linger in the first place. Noora had certainly earned his respect that time on the school yard - intended or not - as she had strode before him and conveyed ever insult with such conviction it had left him incapable of doing anything else but stare at the strange girl raising her chin at him. It was all to protect her friend and to make him feel the embarrassment he had just before instilled on Vilde.
Earning her attention, he had played it as a game in the beginning - a thrilling chase. Contemplating his choices now, he should have gone about it differently, but he simply hadn't been able to help himself.
Noora had intrigued him. Not because she had humiliated him, or the clear signs of disinterest making her a challenge to fuck. Noora wasn't a trophy, a shine price to polish his own pride with. No, she felt different, and the best word to describe his attraction was 'admiration'. It was just as cliche as it sounded, he admired her.
Not for her humiliating comments, but the guts it must have taken to walk up to him before the entire school to defend her friend. She cared, maybe not about him but the definitely the girls surrounding her. William had seen her comforting her red haired friend and though he had definitely question her taste in music then, her rendition of Justin Bieber's 'Baby' had undoubtedly been incredibly sweet.
«Hey» he said, pulling himself back into the present; his heart thumped in his chest.
«Hey» Noora managed between her panted breaths. «Sorry for being late. Vilde and Eva wanted to … anyways, I'm here now.»
«I'm glad.» William couldn't keep from grinning and felt a weight lifted when she returned the smile.
«So, hot cocoa?» she pursed her lips and tilted her head sideways.
«Yeah» William seized his bag from the floor and pushed his fingers though his hair on last time for good effort.
To his surprise Noora was as talkative as he had never seen her before. Maybe it was her own attempt at consoling any sign of nerves but he enjoyed the effortlessness of it either way. He was happy to listen and every now and then nodded his head and allowed himself a peek at her rosy cheeks and even darker lips. His insides curled every time the tip of her tongue darted out across her lips and his thoughts remind him just how good it had felt to kiss them. She had set it as a rule, no kissing in public and he had rolled his eyes but had happily obliged - there was always William's definitely not public apartment.
Somewhere between his silence and her recount of her awful Spanish teacher the narrowing sidewalk caused his body to bump into her side with increasing frequency. Knowing how insistent she had been on not being seen together, William had deemed it a foolish idea to try and reach for her hand.
He did it anyway and to his surprise her fingers curled against his palm. Noora halted her narration for a split second, just long enough for him to glimpse the content smile spreading on her lips. She resumed talking but William was too flushed to continue listening.
The heat of her hand in his had wiped his mind clean and it was all he could manage not to draw her closer and kiss her against the next house wall.
Grünerløkka was busy with people, full café tables lined the colourful streets and the shops were packed with browsing customers. The promise of a sunny afternoon had drawn half Oslo outside. The crowds certainly kept them more shielded; if anyone from school were around the anonymity of the people around them would conceal their after school stroll - Noora was still adamant on not calling it a date. But as comforting as the thought was, he would rather be back at his apartment and make her hot cocoa in the comfort and privacy of his own rooms.
Noora didn't seem to share his sentiment. He caught her studying the shop windows and displays and couldn't help but smile when she stopped in front of a shop filled with books and antique dust to marvel at an especially intricately designed cover of 'Pride and Prejudice'.
William had almost forgotten that he was still holding onto her hand when they entered the café, he had gotten so used to the feeling of her fingers intertwined with his. Noora blushed when she withdrew her hand to order her drink. The shop was packed with people, friends enjoying a free afternoon and couples more interested in each other than their beverages.
They opted for two takeaway chocolates and found an empty park bench around the corner. The sun rays dipped Oslo into a golden afternoon glow but the cold winds were still a reminder of winter and kept the temperatures low. He didn't mind the cold so much himself but felt Noora shiver - despite her upturned collar - beside him.
«You're freezing.» he unwound the scarf around his neck to offer it to her.
«No, I'm okay.» Noora tried to cross her arms but gave in when he raised his brows at her obviously shaking figure.
«You really are stubborn.» he shook his head with a smile and watched her loop his scarf around her own neck.
«Oh, I don't think you're in a position to judge.» Noora laughed. «You have been very uncompromising yourself.»
«True» William took another sip of the sugary drink and enjoyed the warmth trickling down his throat. «But you don't regret it.»
«No» Noora grinned into her cup.
She had sat down just far enough for their bodies not to touch, but with every exchanged tuck of his lips and her answering laugh they had deleted the distance separating them. The hem of her thick woolen coat crazed his own jacked and he was close enough to notice the whips of her usual lavender perfume. With the warm chocolate in their hands, the exchanged words were unforced and the wit behind her replies made his head even dizzier.
Both cups emptied too quickly and with their fingers unoccupied they found their way together again. He rubbed his thumb along her cold skin and she squeezed his hand in return.
«This is nice.» he looked at her.
«Yes, very nice.» she had her eyes closed and her head rested against his shoulder.
«Still sure, this isn't a date?»
Noora sighed - though more content than annoyed - and half opened her eyes. «Not a date,» she mumbled. «Just cocoa.»
«Okay» he had to restrain himself from kissing the crown of her blond head then. «Why isn't it a date?»
«Because,» Noora corrected her posture and straightened her spine against his shoulder «We cannot be together.»
«We are together now though.» he tightened his hold on her hand slightly, as if he was afraid she could jump up and bolt any minute.
«I mean together together.» Noora said but sounded only half convinced by her own words.
«Okay» he swallowed and out of the corner of his eyes tried to access the honesty behind her statement. He knew this wasn't easy for her and he didn't want to provoke tears - as he had Saturday morning - seeing her cry had left a dagger in his heart for every tear she had wiped from her face. But they would have to talk about this - whatever it was between them - at some point and now seemed as good a time as ever. They were out in the open, not prejudiced by his kitchen as a backdrop; if she wanted to stand up and leave, she could.
He resigned to the silence and observed the strolling people, moving on the graveled paths between the still leafless trees. Noora had lowered her eyes to their intertwined hands in her lap and the arhythmic melody of her breaths filled his ears. Two boys squealed before them, chasing after one another between the bushes an William tried not to think of all the memories the boys summoned in him. A happy family, complete with the smiling parents pushing a stroller on the path beside them. Something he never had, he never would have. William wasn't sure if Noora shared his thoughts but he was certain her creased brows and thin mouth hadn't been conjured by fond childhood memories.
They hadn't talked about family, and he was thankful for it. There wasn't much to tell anyways and whatever her own history, he doubted she would understand. Noora returned to glimpse at their hands and he reaffirmed his grasp to assure her. She raised her head and her eyes contemplated his for a moment before she spoke.
«This won't work.» she didn't avert her eyes and William did his best to hide the impact of her words.
«Why?»
It earned him a shrug of her shoulders.
«I like you, and you like me.» Noora didn't nod in agreement, but at least she didn't deny it either and allowed him to continue. «The rest we can figure out, I promise.»
Noora shoveled her feet in the gravel below. He counted his breaths and his heart hammered against his chest. She opened and closed her mouth without a single word and William had almost abandoned all hope for an answer when she cleared her throat.
«Why, why do you want us to be together?» Noora asked. The whips of her blond her hid her face from his view and her hand felt limper against his fingers.
«What?» the hell was that supposed to mean and her obvious distrust of his honest feelings pierced his heart.
«You never really tell much? I don't really know you.» as timid as she had seemed a minute ago, her eyes were now lit with fire as she challenged him.
«What is there to tell?» He would tell her anything she wanted to know - almost anything.
«You're so mysterious. You live alone in that huge apartment and every girl at school swoons when you enter a room. I suppose that's part of the charm.» suddenly all of the confidence she had embodied the first time he had encountered her was back and he couldn't decipher if it was genuine or an act to shield herself.
«I'm not good at this kind of stuff.» he simply concluded.
«What stuff?»
«Talking, relationships» Noora chuckled at that. «So whatever you want to know, just ask.»
She did. «Why do you like me?»
William raised his brows, slightly taken aback by her forwardness. How the hell was he supposed to answer that.
Because you are beautiful, smart, loyal, stubborn, stunning, confident, special; he could go on but Noora deserved more than a list of half empty adjectives. So he settled for «You care.»
«What, about you?» he definitely caught her smirk.
«Maybe,» he certainly hoped so. « You care about your friends, refugees, strangers, how people treat other people.» judging by her surprised look, she must have expected some sort of cliche answer.
«Okay» she peeked up at him «Is that all?»
«No,» William groaned and it made her smile. «You're smart, confident, absolutely stunning. That enough?»
«You're such a cliche.» she grinned.
«That's why you like me.» he felt the tension melt away.
«No» Noora huddled her head closer against his shoulder. «Yes»
He wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. She smelled sweet and delicious, like Noora. Her sighs were swallowed by his scarf and he savored the feeling of her palms pressed against his body.
«I mean it,» when they pulled apart. «I don't how, but I want to make this work.»
«Okay» she smiled and before he could register her movements she kissed him.
William could still taste the cocoa on her lips and the spring winds suddenly felt less icy. Her eyes were filled with warmth and he marveled at their soft green colour. He could loose himself in her eyes.
Another kiss, another smile.
«I thought you said no kissing in public.» He pushed them off the bench with Noora still clinging to hi neck.
«I know,» she breathed the words against his skin and she kissed her way up his jawline, finding his lips. «I take it back.»
«Mhm» he hummed against her and twirled them in a half circle almost tipping them over onto the wet grass. Noora squealed and curled her fingers around his collar.
«My apartment?» he pressed another kiss to her cheek.
Noora nodded in agreement.