Cloud Ruler Temple...
Harashi'Nokar, famed half-orc princess barbarian with a heart of gold and a mind that would leave great wizards crying, sat in Cloud Ruler Temple reading a book. Suddenly Martin came up to her and said, blushing, "Uh... Thank you for saving me from Kvatch. I would have bee-"
Harashi looked up at him, and twitched, "Oh no. OH NO! You're attracted to me. You're a priest, and an Imperial, that SHOULDN'T happen! And... I have a weird name... I'm very strong, smart, and compassionate... I'm famous despite the fact that I was a begger on the streets a day ago... This can only mean one thing... I'M A MARY SUE! SHIT!"
Martin Blinked. "Your eyes just changed color."
Harashi twitched, "I'M A $#!#!$%& ORC! WE ONLY HAVE ONE EYE COLOR! ITS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT! I HAVE NO CHOICE!" She took out a small blade, and positioned it to stab herself.
"Wait... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Screamed Martin.
"Trust me on this! What good is saving the world if no one has any actual free will? If everyone is fawning over me, they'd be basically trapped within themselves! You're not even really talking to me! AND GOD DAMN I SOUND SO FRIGGING SMUG AND SELFLESS! I'M SHOCKED I HAVEN'T STABBED MYSELF SOONER!"
And with that, she stabbed herself in the stomach. She fell over, dead, as Martin ran over to observe her corpse. He began to cry, then stopped and blinked. He looked to the left, and to the right.
He said, "What" Then looked at the corpse and screamed "GODS BLOOD, SOMEONE'S BEEN MURDERED!"
Then he ran into a wall.
Well, shit. That didn't work. Hmmm..