"Before the gates of Valmar Melkor abased himself at the feet of Manwë and sued for pardon, vowing that if he might be made only the least of the free people of Valinor he would aid the Valar in all their works, and most of all in the healing of the many hurts that he had done to the world." J.R.R. Tolkien, Silmarillion
Varda listened to Melkor's oath, together with the other Valar. She could see Ulmo's distaste and Mandos' inscrutable expression. Her heart trembled while Melkor was speaking to Manwë.
She looked on Valmar, when suddenly she felt smooth, yet strong fingers on her neck and cold presence behind. The air saturated with frost surrounded her with the quiet, deep and full of satisfaction growl.
She had a heavy sensation of being observed by someone; nevertheless, she wasn't able to see anybody. She felt like her throat squeezed rhythmically, like if she wanted to scream, but in vain... her voice suffocated inside. Varda looked around - everyone was quiet and motionless. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, wanting to repel this terrible feeling. The cold disappeared equally unexpectedly as it appeared.
Days passed quietly. Varda sat on the bench amongst nice scented flowers in the gardens of Lorien. The warm light of Laurelin brought smile on her face. She waited until the lights of trees mixed.
She felt chills going down, as if they came from above. Their source didn't directly touch her, but stroked gently, at the same time causing that she felt fear. Real, and tangible.
She
was horrified. Fear didn't leave her even when she opened her eyes
and looked at shimmering the Trees, squeezing frosty needles into her
body, just to the bone with. She looked in astonishment at the
starlight fading more and more. Even the trees seemed to have dimmed
glitter. She wanted to get up, to check what was happening, to call
somebody, however she could not – chained to the bench with
fear.
Only Vana's appearance helped her to break free from this
strange trance. Fortunately her friend didn't notice Varda's state
and, laughing, began to talk about the things she had just seen.
Varda breathed quietly with relief. She has always spent days in the
company of the other Valar. The sensation of cold didn't leave her;
eventually, it became weaker. But she still felt persecuted, like an
animal in the cage. Even the Trees weren't able to warm her up...
just a little bit. What was more, every time she tried to approach
them, they went pale.
Varda cleaned her dress in front of the big mirror in the bedroom. She didn't want to join today's feast, but she didn't have any choice. Nothing gave her joy, even looking at stars wasn't so pleasant like earlier.
Frozen
air cut her skin through the dress. Flame of burning pain made her
cry, but any sound could elicit from her mouth. She looked into the
window in front of her, noticing with thrill her nudity. The darkness
behind her was not like the one on the sky. No. It was deep, awfully
cold, full of evil thoughts. Her frightened eyes came across that
look, full of hatred and contempt, staring at her with satisfaction
and desire. A sudden pain on hips reminded her about the torn dress
and naked body. She wanted to close her eyes, escape from what was
happening to her. Cold and heat were mixed together, making
everything more intense, enlarging the emptiness that was consuming
her mind and heart. She felt the touch of darkness in every part of
the body, the touch overflowing with hatred, burning its mark on her
skin.
The only thing she could do was to observe her own
reflection in the window. The glass seemed to be sharp and painful,
even though she wasn't able to touch it, nor even feel it.
Suddenly, she noticed someone's presence right behind her. In the
glass she saw the same evil, ardent eyes and the shape of man's
face. She was trying to move, but inexplicable force held her firm
and straight, until the same hands that previously had stripped her
and caused her pain pushed her down.
An icy laugh came out his
mouth and he spoke: "Bow before me, Varda. Thou owe this to
me."
She remained silent, although she wanted to scream loudly,
so that everyone could hear it.. And she never knew what caused her
sorrow and disgrace; whether it was a bow or the fact that she didn't
stop him…
"Varda looked down from Taniquetil, and beheld the Shadow soaring up in sudden towers of gloom." J.R.R. Tolkien, Silmarillion
She
shivered with terror, which spread in her heart just like the
darkness outside. She wanted to go check what happened and call for
help, but she couldn't.
Suddenly she saw a shadow reflected in
the window, the same she has already seen many times. The man
approached quickly.
"Welcome", he said audaciously and grabbed
strongly her throat, "Again."
