DISCLAIMER: Written based on a prompt one night - wish that I owned rights, but, sadly, no...

"Dammit!" Owen's voice cut through the cold and he pulled his windbreaker tighter, covering his shirt, which had a Happy Bunny and the words "For an Ugly Person, You Aren't That Ugly" on it. Gwen had given it to him on his last birthday, and, though he hated to admit it, he really loved it. "Where in the hell did I put that?" He searched the tackle box he brought with him to the field. There had been reports of Weevil activity and Jack had sent him down here, knowing that neither of the girls nor Ianto had wanted to do the job.

And knowing Harkness, he wanted Ianto to himself. Ever since that incident with the police and that woman – Erin was it? – Jack had been jumpy when in came to Ianto…

He turned when he heard a noise, seeing a blue box materialize. A blue box like the one Jack had said something about that one night at the office Christmas party when he had had one to many Tequila-Jello shooters. A blue box that Jack had claimed held the one man that could fix him – the one man who had destroyed him.

The noise was gone and out popped a shaggy brown head.

That bloke could use a good haircut…Owen ducked behind a tree.

"…And I told him, Jack! You can't say that to an Ibrandian Princess! We had to hightail it out of there before the both of us ended up a part of her harem – not that I would have looked bad in the uniform, mind you…" He was talking to someone as he walked out to look at his surroundings.

Owen tapped his comm. "Jack, I think someone is looking for you…"

Jack's voice came back clearly. "I don't know her, was never near her, you can't pin this on me…unless she's cute and in dire need of rescuing. In that case, where are you?"

There was the sound of flesh slapping flesh and Owen could imagine Jack rubbing his wounded arm where Ianto had popped him. "No, seriously. You need to come down here…yesterday…"

"Oh, all right, Owen, you big baby. Hang tight." Jack switched off.

Owen hit his button again, "And, Ianto, make sure he parks on the road and walks up…"

"Why are you telling me?" Ianto's voice filled his ear. "I'm nowhere near Jack. I'm…out." He heard a girly giggle and Ianto's muffled voice. "No, luv, not Jack, thank God…yeah, that looks good, get that one…Owen, I gotta go." At once, it clicked off.

"Gwen!" Owen tried one last time.

A very pissed Gwen came on the other end. "What the hell, Owen?" She sounded…busy.

"Sorry, but I was looking for Jack, I thought you were still at the Hub. My bad." He was embarrassed as he reached to turn off the comm. But not before he heard Jack's voice clearly calling her in that singsong way he had heard him call Ianto.

Damn him! Damn that Captain Harkness. Damn her for that matter! Owen forgot where he was and stomped from behind the tree and came face to face with the Doctor and a redhead that he thought he might like to get to know better.

"Right, mate, is this what you were looking for?" His voice startled Owen a bit and he fell back.

Owen looked at what the Doctor was holding out to him and quickly shook his head. There was no way on the whole of the Earth that he was going to claim that pen as his, even if he had swiped it fair and square off Tosh's desk. Who cared that it had the cutest Kitty with no mouth ever on it? "No, not mine. Someone else must have dropped it." Owen turned to go back to the SUV.

"Bloody shame!" The Doctor said, shoving the pen in his pocket. "Good thing I came along. A good Hello Kitty pen is hard to come by!"

Great. Today is bloody swell. First Jack takes Gwen and now this clown takes my pen! How much worse can this day be?!

His question was answered all to quickly when he reached the SUV and found it, covered in Weevil shit, the tires eaten.