A/N: This is just something that popped into my head and I thought it would be funny. Please give suggestions for stores that you would find in your local mall. And if you were wondering, yes, I did get the idea of Apollo being really hip from Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
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Prologue
The day was all but perfect. Gray clouds covered the sky, and rain was pouring down from Olympus. Yes, Olympus. I know what you are thinking, "There is no Olympus. It's just a myth that the ancient Greeks believed in." Well I'm telling you that it's true. The twelve Olympians sit in their thrones even now, controlling all that goes on down here on our puny Earth.
With Zeus as their king and lord of the sky, the twelve gods and goddesses live happily among the clouds. Hera is the queen of the gods alongside her husband, Zeus. Poseidon rules the waters, and Hades controls the underworld. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, Hermes, god of thieves and messenger of the gods, Apollo, got of music and poetry, Dionysus, god of wine, Ares, god of war, Artemis, goddess of the hunt, Aphrodite, beautiful goddess of love, and her husband, Hephaestus, god of fire.
They were doing their duties one day -with Dionysus, drunk while making his vineyards grow, and Aphrodite, flirting with Ares while looking over a wedding- when Hermes called a mail break.
The Olympians quickly sat at their thrones, and opened the mail slot in the side of it to get their mail.
They got:
Dionysus- A letter from Demeter complaining about too many bad grapes in her field's vineyard lately. He threw that one out after reading it.
Hades- None, he's not the most popular (or liked) god, and he wasn't even going to think for a second something from Persephone came because they were in a big (well, bigger than usual) fight.
Aphrodite- Her mailbox was (and always is) overflowing because of all her fan mail and love notes. She kept staring at Ares admiringly because he sent more than half of them. She threw out the hate mail from Hera telling her to stop flirting with Zeus.
Hermes- A note from the Olympus General Store about a theft. He snickered and threw it out; it was his idea anyway to rob the stupid place. "Shopping Place of the Gods," they didn't even sell a bar of soap that smelled decent or lasted for more than a day.
Hephaestus- A new fireplace. He had ordered it from and they were happy to sell him the fireplace for free.
Athena- Books from She read selections like, "101 Ways to Kill Your Biggest Enemy," (A.K.A: Poseidon) "Quotes from the Wise Ones," and "The Owls of the Century."
Poseidon- "The Daily Sea Chronicle," the ocean's newspaper that he was on the cover of.
Hera- "Olympus Gossiper" It told her who Zeus was "with" these days so she could keep an eye on his lovers.
Ares- He got daily updates on Iraq. He loved the action, so he checked "no" on whether to stop the war or not.
Apollo- A collection of Fergie CD's. She's his favorite music singer that he created.
Artemis- An antelope pelt coat that she had killed herself and sent to a tailor to get sewn.
Zeus- One white envelope addressed to all of the gods.
"Hey! I have one for everybody!" Zeus yelled to get the other gods out of the trance they were in whenever they read mail.
"Ouch!" Hermes exclaimed as a piece of a crumbled column fell on him because Zeus's loud voice made all of Olympus shake.
"Wait!" Hera said. "Just let me finish this page- SEMELE?" she yelled as she saw her husband's new lover in her magazine. "I THOUGHT SHE WAS BURNED WHEN SHE SAW YOU IN YOUR DIVINE FORM!"
"I-I convinced Hades to bring her back! W-we only had lunch, d-dear." Zeus answered cautiously. He knew how angry his wife could get.
"You can argue later!" Athena said. "Let's see what's in the envelope!"
"Okay." Zeus answered, relieved to keep the argument off for a while so he could think of a good comeback later. He then started to read the letter.
"Dear Olympians,
You are invited to the Westfield Shopping Mall, located in Topanga, California. Enclosed is a list of shops, and food choices. You will always be welcomed, so feel free to come and go as you please.
From,
Heracles
P.S: Don't ask how I got this, you don't want to know." As Zeus finished reading the letter, there was a long silence.
"What's a mall?" Apollo asked. He wasn't exactly the brightest of the group.
"It's a giant structure with many stores and food booths inside of it." Athena answered. She spoke slowly so Apollo could understand her.
"How do you know these things?" Apollo asked.
"When you're the goddess of wisdom, you just know these things. You'll understand eventually." She answered while gently petting her owl.
"When can we go Zeus?" Aphrodite asked, longing to find more beauty items.
"Now! If my son went through a lot of trouble to get this it must be worth it!" He answered.
In a second they were standing outside of the mall…in the pouring rain.
"MY HAIR!!!!" Aphrodite screamed.
"Calm down Aphrodite!" Poseidon said. "It's just a little water!"
"You're the god of water Poseidon, of course it doesn't bother you." Athena said in a very bored and quick way.
"Well why doesn't it bother you?" Poseidon shot back.
"DUDES!!!" Apollo interrupted. "Peace yo!!" The arguing gods glanced at each other with hatred before finishing their fight.
"ZEUS! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Aphrodite yelled.
"Oh, yes, sorry." Zeus apologized (which he rarely does).
"Why do you apologize to Aphrodite and not me?" Hera asked.
"Um….." Zeus replied, unable to answer his wife's question without making her mad. He quickly made the clouds part, and the sun came out into a light blue sky, and they all walked into the parking lot of the mall.
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A/N: If you were wondering, it wasn't supposed to be very funny 'cause it's only the prologue. R&R please!!!!