She could stand in her bedroom and look in the mirror all day just to stare at the reflection that she hated to see. The reflection of herself as she currently was, a shell of the person that she once was. She was once a nice, kind and funny girl who had a number of friends who she could trust and tell anything to but now she was a wreck, she didn't trust anyone and she was stressed and snappy all of the time never mind the fact that her parents had disowned her when they found where her true loyalties lay and the friends that she had left her as soon as they found out. Someone could speak a simple hello to her and she would snap and yell at them. She was nothing of her former self and it killed her. It killed her to look at herself and see what she was, to see her reflection looking back at her with bags under her eyes, pale skin, messy hair and an overall aura of being pressured, tired and worn out from everything that had gone on in the last year.
The battle of Hogwarts and the greatest war thus far had ripped everything down including friendships, relationships, bonds of trusts and even families. It had torn people apart and people had left Hogwarts that she knew and that she was once close with and she wasn't looking forward to seeing them this year if they planned to return. It had taken her a long time to decide that she would return to the school as she felt that needed something to do for the year as well as getting her education and maybe being able to make the smallest of amends with the people she was once friends with. She knew that Harry and Ron were not returning to do their exams but she wasn't sure about all of the others and sometimes, she didn't think that she even wanted to know who was returning as the thought of herself going back made her wretch.
She sighed heavily and looked down at her forearm and closed her eyes in disgust as to what was there. At the time, it seemed right and looked okay being there but now it looked wrong, it looked horrible and it was there to stay, there was no getting rid of it. She had been forever branded with something that was going to wreck her life forever. She had to constantly wear long sleeves whether they were tops, jumpers or hoodies so that no one would ever be able to see it and automatically judge her due to what she had on herself. She picked up a bandage roll from the desk at the side of her and wrapped it around her wrist before doing an enchantment that made the bandage bind together until she decided to take it off later but even though the bandage was on there, she could still see it burning through and feel it on her, she'd never be rid of The Dark Mark and she'd regret for the rest of her life.
She had been stood in the mirror for a good twenty minutes before looking at the clock and realising that she only had an hour before the train to Hogwarts left. She decided that she needed to pack all of her things and did so in a timely fashion but making sure that everything was there that she needed for the year and making sure that everything was neat. She had done this within half an hour without using magic, she was proud of herself and with that done, she set off out of where she lived and started her journey to King's Cross. It was only a fifteen minute walk away but she knew that it was better to be there early then she could at least be on the train and have somewhere to sit on her own for a while before being asked by multiple people if they could sit with her, although she wasn't sure if that would happen this year seeing as though a large number of people knew what went down at the end of the year just gone.
As soon as she walked in, she felt like she was in the wrong place and like she shouldn't be going to get on a train that would take her to the place that she had betrayed just a mere few months ago. She sighed and thought to herself why she was doing this, why she was bothering to go back but she knew that no matter how much she thought and fought against it that she would go back, she had to, she had to go back and finish the education that she had started and slowly rebuild everything that she had wrecked. She walked up towards platforms 9 and 10 and took a deep breath, preparing to make herself go through that barrier that would be the final step before getting on that train. She made herself promise to herself that if she went through that barrier, that she would not come back through it, she made herself promise that when she went through she would get on that train straight away and not bother to hesitate or even try and turn around to run and leave. She just would not do it, she would not let herself, she couldn't.
As she walked over to the platform psyching herself up to walk through it casually so that the muggles would not pay much attention to her as they would if she was running in to a brick wall, she stopped at the sound of a voice that was familiar but that she hadn't had in a number of months, nearly 8 months at that seeing as though she hadn't seen or heard that person since before she ran away from Hogwarts before the war. She didn't stop to listen or talk to this person. She knew that she couldn't bear to, she thought of all of the things that the person could say to her and it broke her heart to think of those things, instead she quickly decided to run through the barrier, get through to the other side before running up the side of the train and getting herself sorted and on it before walking to the last carriage at the back of the train where people were least likely to go that she knew seeing as though all of the Slytherins sat towards the back of the train. She sat herself down in the corner of the last carriage so that she was hidden from the sight of whoever was coming up the corridor but so that she could see who was coming up and she sat staring at the door for a good twenty minutes before deciding that she would be safe as the train had set off a number of minutes ago and that most students would probably have their seats around about now so she looked our of the window and watched London disappear from sight quickly and it was then that her stomach dropped, she was really doing it, she was going back to School. She felt sick and she wanted to get off the train, but what made her feel even sicker was when she could see a girl walking up towards her carriage. She knew who it was instantly and knew that the girl was going to come in and try to talk to her whether it was shouting abuse or if she was extremely lucky, to give her some form of sympathy and forgiveness.
There was a quick knock on the compartment door and then it slid open to reveal exactly who she thought it would be. She braced herself for what was going to be the longest train ride of her life ever.
"Ginny? You're really going back to Hogwarts after last term?" Hermione asked. Ginny nodded.
"Am I okay to sit down?" She asked. Ginny once again nodded and Hermione took a seat opposite her. Ginny knew that they both could feel the tension that was in the compartment and they knew that it was going to be an awkward next few hours.
"So how was your summer then?" Hermione asked brightly. She was all with the questions but Ginny had gotten irritated quickly.
"Why are you here talking to me?" Ginny barked. Hermione felt the bite but she had known that she would be asked this, she could tell. She knew what she was letting herself in for and knew that she would have to explain everything, as did Ginny.
"I am talking to you because I want to know why everything happened, how everything happened and how everything is now because I know that nothing is the same anymore so I want to work out if there's any chance of salvaging anything because unlike everyone else I actually care about you right now and I forgive you and most of your mistakes affected me the most" Hermione said quickly in the tone of voice that Ginny had known not to mess with for a number of years but now, Ginny had changed, she no longer feared the tone of voice that Hermione had used. Once of a time she would've been scared to go against what she had said but now she didn't care. She didn't scare her.
"You don't need to care. I don't need anyone to care. I'm doing quite fine by myself, I live by myself in my own place and I get by, everything is good. Who needs friends or family because they apparently don't need me?"
"They all miss you. Even Ron misses you and you know how dense that boy is and how unemotional he is. They just don't understand, they never let you have a chance to explain why you did what you did and I want to hear why so that I can tell them and see if anything can happen again, to see if anything can work because I know that everything is a mess and I don't like the idea of you staying somewhere on your own with no one to turn to. I know that you're not okay and I know that you want someone to care so why don't you realise that and stop lying and when you realise that you actually want someone to care, I'm sure you'll know exactly where I am." Hermione yelled before standing up and leaving the compartment. Ginny sighed and turned towards the window when she heard the door slide back open.
"And welcome back to Hogwarts Ginny" She spoke again before leaving again for the final time. Thankfully this time, she didn't come back in. Ginny was alone again and she was happy with that. No one else came in for the entire train ride and she somehow got through the next three hours with her thoughts. When she stepped off the train, the worry set in again
She climbed in one of the carriages and watched as two other girls got in the carriage talking between them. All Ginny the entire way up to the school was the girls chatting about the boys that they had encountered over the summer and how hard their lives were because they couldn't date them. Ginny was thinking how they didn't know what a hard life was at all and when the school gates were in sight, she had never been more thankful for them in her entire life. She got out and walked through the doors and into the great hall where she sat at the end of the Gryffindor table. When she sat down, the Gryffindors that she knew from last year that were there turned and stared at her. She'd never felt so uncomfortable ever, nor had she ever felt so alone in such a crowded room.
They all looked at her like she was the dirt on their shoes. Ginny had well and truly messed everything up in the past year and she hated it. She hated the fact that no one even smiled at her or looked at her, that was until Hermione sat across from her at the table. Hermione gave her a smile and Ginny sent her a small one back. Once again, the Gryffindors turned around to look at Hermione as if to ask her what she was doing at that part of the table with her who opposed everything that she was.
Hermione had always been Ginny's best friend, she had always been there for her through the numerous tough times and situations that they managed to get themselves in to and Ginny had to think that she was truly amazing to be able to sit with her and talk to her after everything that she did last year. Ginny knew that Hermione could take anything in her path.
"Ginny, I think after dinner we need to talk seriously about last year"
Ginny nodded.
So, what did you guys think of this? It took me a long time to write and I think its okay but that's my own biased opinion.
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