A/N: After the finale of Korra, I find myself at a crossroads. So much of my current motivation came from immersing myself in this wonderful world, and now it's over? And that's when I realised something. The story of Avatar is infinite. Like the Avatar cycle, it will only die once someone tries to kill it at the height of it's pivotal investment in it's environment. And with the ending landmarking an implied LGBT+ representation in a childrens medium, I'm going to portray my take on the Spiritual World venture.
these skies of uncertainty are clear with you my dear
For Korra, this venture into the spirit world was akin to the sun's journey around the planet they lived in; always spinning, lighting up new places to explore, never ceasing in its journey.
Escaping after Zhu Li and Varrick's wedding wasn't too difficult, surprisingly. Asami needed the break after the demise of her father, and Korra had experienced enough after the events of Kuvira's regime collapsing under it's own weight. Though the knowledge of their vacation together was known to few, it seemed those that didn't took their absence for a time of rest and relaxation. Mako had certainly begun to enjoy his time off after the wedding, allowing his arm to heal from their extensive injuries (and in his own words, "babysitting for Wu began to have it's perks after his much needed maturity"), and Korra couldn't have been more relieved to hear that he was doing better. They may have ended things over three years ago, but she still felt her heart race whenever Mako was happy.
She promised she would always love him, and though her feelings of romantic nature had certainly dimmed down over the years, that didn't mean she still didn't love him.
Korra and Asami now sat in the middle of a blooming field, cerise petals sweeping the landscape of surreality. It had only been an hour since their departure, but time was a fickle thing in a place of infinite spirituality, and she could tell Asami already felt at home there.
"Does the Spirit world change depending where you meditate?" Her question catches the Avatar off-guard (she had previously been admiring things other than the beauty of the landscape), but also causes her to think.
"Well...sort of, I guess?" Seeing the confused look on Asami's face could have made her face-palm, "sorry, I'm not being very clear. Well… the Spirit World isn't like the human world. There isn't a grounded...ground." Spirits, she's sound as articulate as Mako with his feelings. "If someone has enough spiritual connection with this world, they can be pulled to a specific place. The spirit world is like our world in that the safest of places can be dangerous, and vice-versa. Meditating can bring you to specific places, but you can also be drawn to them by your own volition." She gives Asami a tentative and sheepish smile, "does, uh, that make any sense?"
Asami blinks at her, before a bright grin appears on her face. It makes Korra's heart skip a beat. "Yes, it does." She then puts on a mock frown, "if only travel were like that in our world, it would make business meetings in Ba Sing Sei a lot easier."
And then their laughter laces with the light air that circulates the world of the spirits, and Korra wonders if her life could always be this peaceful. It's a poor joke in itself, but after the months of grueling battle the two of them had experienced, it feels like the most comedic thing in the world.
The two of them venture into a place where the gentle light of the sky transcends into a darker colour of velvet, and thus it comes to them that they should attempt at resting (though Korra is much too awake with the storm of emotions brewing in her gut), making camp underneath a tree-which-is-not-quite-a-tree. It's branches tangle and weave in and out of one another, creating the appearance of a sphere, though caches of light can be glimpsed in brief seconds of a gaze. It's odd, but strangely beautiful, and that can be used to describe many things in this world.
(Asami included.)
"Did you bring a bedroll?" Again, Asami's question catches her off-guard, and Korra pales as much as her body will allow her to.
"Um...no." When Asami raises an eyebrow at her, Korra can only chuckle sheepishly. "I'm from the south, remember? I'm not too affected by the cold. Never have been."
"It's not a matter of warmth, Korra." Asami begins to roll out her blanket, still warming by Korra's homemade fire. "You're seriously intending on sleeping on the ground? You don't know what you'd be sleeping on!"
"It's spirit ground." She reasoned.
"And…?"
Korra pauses. "...I'm the Avatar, and I can deal with it?"
Asami sighs, before shuffling over. "Come on, you can bunk with me. It's got plenty of room." She pats the space beside her, and Korra can only hope for a brief instant that Asami's hearing fluctuates, because her gulp is so loud that she can hear it ring in her ears.
She freezes, unsure how to respond. It's not that the concept of sharing a bed with Asami is unappealing. Not in the slightest. But with the affection between them growing (at least, on her end-but holding hands and staring at one another intimately counts for that of thing, right? Do friends usually go on private vacations and hold hands and interlock fingers and share beds and...well, some might, but not in Korra's case), she finds herself at a crossroads of doubt and insecurity.
Asami is nice. Too nice. Korra doesn't want to take advantage of that, of her. She's too important for her to even consider doing that for a joke.
"It's okay, Korra." The engineer puts her hand over Korra's, and the Avatar feels functional again. "Does top-and-tailing sound a bit more comfortable?"
"...But my feet might smell, for all you know." Korra mutters, hiding a smile.
(It occurs to her, now of all times, that Asami is probably the kindest soul in a sea of spirits, always trying to cater to other's needs and make them feel more at ease, at the expense of her own emotional desires.)
Asami raises an eyebrow again. "Then I can just turn over? It's not a problem, really-"
Korra interrupts her. "But is that what you want?"
"I...it's just a bedroll." Asami stammers. "It doesn't matter what I want, it's only…"
It's at this point, Korra knows that Asami knows that she means more than just the damn bedroll. It's at this point that Asami's gaze wavers, breaks away from Korra's and bites her lip in doubt. Have I crossed the line? She will think. Was it all in my head? Korra knows she will worry. Is all of this emotional dependency because of my father's death? The Avatar knows Asami will reason with herself.
"Asami. I came on this vacation because it's what you wanted to see. Because I wanted to be with you, here. But please, please don't limit it to just the place we're in now. Tell me what you want. Don't hold back because you think it'll trouble me. Believe me, I won't be troubled by it."
Asami's shoulders begin to quiver. "I…"
Korra smiles tenderly at her, and grips her hand, tight. She can feel Asami's fingers tremble underneath her touch, but it doesn't deter her one bit. "Yes?"
"...want my daddy back…."
Even as the Avatar, there are some feats that Korra cannot do, and will not do. She cannot bend the laws of time and space, and she cannot retrieve a soul to reunite with it's body. Nor would she. (Even if the broken look of jade eyes belonging to the most kind-hearted person she's ever met causes her to tempt her thoughts briefly with the idea.)
As Korra knows she will never get rid of the memory of her being poisoned and tortured, Asami will never be able to truly quell the pain of seeing her father killed right in front of her, for her to have a future of freedom.
But that doesn't mean she can't heal somewhat, and Korra wants to do everything in her power to help her.
She embraces Asami tightly, combing through the slight tangles of her raven-coloured hair, and saying nothing until Asami calms down. Asami trembles, chokes out a few sobs, and her face goes red from all the crying (and, perhaps, embarrassment for her sudden breakdown), but Korra stays steadfast and holds her through her pain.
It didn't take much for her to break after all.
"I want him back, Korra. We-we'd just begun to fix things between us, I'd finally forgiven him for everything, and then he sacrifices himself!" A bitter chuckle, combined with a heart-breaking sob, accompanies her rant. "What right did he have to do that? If anyone should have died, it should have been me. They were my suits, it was the city I designed! It should have been me…"
The fire that Korra made has long since flickered out, dimming to little more than gasping embers. The sky is dark, dotted with only specks of light, but the true light that Korra wishes to reignite is the one that burns in the eyes of Asami. Heiress and Leader of Future Industries. The woman who intertwined technology and pastoral spirituality into something that could coincide with everyday life for both man and spirit. The non-bender who stood as the middle-ground between Equalist and Bender.
Asami Sato.
"Asami," Korra gently opens the door to Asami's walls, and breaks away from the hug to regard her with such a look it could have made Asami melt. "If I could go back in time and stop that from happening, then I would. But I can't."
Asami sniffs, wiping at her eyes. Korra brushed them away for her, feeling her cheeks warm underneath her hand.
"But the worst thing you can do is disregard what your father did. He was such a complicated man, what I knew of him at least. He allowed himself to become consumed with revenge, so much so that it ended up blinding him. But in the end, it was his love for you that helped him be at peace with what he gave to the world. He gave you to the world. And he wanted you to be in a world that was free, a world that you would be proud to live in. That you would be happy to live in."
She took a breath. "And whilst I won't say his passing was a good thing, I can say that what he left behind must have been worth it in his eyes. He left behind the chance that you would be happy. And even if I don't agree with everything he did...I just can't fault him for that." Korra put her hand on Asami's shoulder. "And I don't think you should, either."
If Asami says anything after Korra's speech, it was lost in midst of slight hiccups and what Korra thinks is a muffled 'thank-you'.
Time is a fickle thing in this world, but Korra assumes it passes, as there is a pleasant moment where silence is golden, the air is warm, and Asami is no longer feeling her heart bleeding. At least, Korra is coming to the assumption (Asami later tells her she was correct).
They both breathe quietly. Not in synch, that would be too coincidental, but their own rhythmic inhales are a peaceful one. Korra rubs Asami's back on occasion, and Asami settles into Korra's hold, and nowhere else has felt safer for the engineer since all this madness consumed her world.
"...Korra?"
"Mm?" Humming in reply, Korra's eyes flutter back open.
"I...want to...stay like this. Until I...wake up. Is that okay?" The sentence is mumbled, hesitant, but clear, and Korra only smiles as she gently pulls Asami to lie down with her. Half on the bedroll, half on the warming soil.
"That's fine, Asami."
Asami holds back another sob, and disguises it with an artificial laugh. "Because you're the Avatar and you can deal with it?"
"No. I don't 'deal' with things I want to do. I enjoy them."
"...So, you want to…?"
"Stay like this?" With you? "The thought of doing anything else right now is a crime against...something. Mako could probably find out what. Or maybe Bolin. Either way, I've just made it illegal."
This time, Asami does laugh for real, and it's beautiful to hear. There's little dialogue afterwards, just mumbled thanks and brief outlines of their possible paths that tomorrow may bring, but it soon ends when Korra finds Asami asleep in her arms. Slumbering soundly, and though her makeup is run, though her hair is disheveled, her face is so content and tranquil that Korra cannot help but think she is the most beautiful sight in any known world.
She raises Asami's hand, and slowly places her lips to the back of it.
"Goodnight, you prissy, beautiful, elegant rich-girl." The callback to the jealous days of youth make Korra both cringe and laugh.
If only I knew. Knew that "prissy" would be traded for "selfless"; that "beautiful" would never be changed, only seen more and more as time went on; that "elegant" could be interchanged with funny, and that she could be rambling on about ideas for contraptions that Korra could only envision clumsily, even with additional exposition; and that "rich-girl" couldn't even begin to define who Asami Sato was.
Looking at Asami, so relaxed and deep in her slumber, soon allowed Korra to give in and fall asleep herself. Her arms remained around Asami's form, as if they were the only two beings in the world.
And for those few hours (but honestly, time was such a fickle thing in this world, it was hard to keep track), that was how it felt to both of them.
A/N: And whilst I'm sad the series is over, I cannot help but be pleased for the future.