Christmas time, oh how you hate it. The joy, the gifts, it makes you gag just thinking about it. But here you are, at some lame Christmas party, listening to Christmas music, drinking eggnog. What has come of you? John said it would be cool, but all you see is dorks in sweaters dorkily dancing. It doesn't help that near everyone here is hammered. You smirk, lets jazz things up.
You walk over to where Rose is drunkenly dancing with Kanaya, and you smile at how uncomfortable Kanaya looks. You walk by quickly, pushing Rose into Kanaya and snickering at the squeak from Kanaya as Rose kisses her. You walk over to the bedroom where Jade is sleeping and take out your portable speaker and your Iphone. You put the speaker and the phone right next to her ear before playing some Metallica on full blast and high-tailing it out of there. The shriek and string of swear words coming from the normally optimistic girl was enjoyable, even more so as she started shrieking at Karkat, the only person who actually plays Metallica. You slip into the bedroom and grab your phone and speaker before shoving them into your pocket and finding some mistletoe.
You take the tape and some mistletoe and tape it to the ceiling above where Dave and John are having a heated drunken arguement about Ghostbusters. You push Dave closer to John, smirking when John notices the mistletoe, barely holding in your laughter when Terezi comes over and loses her shit when she sees them kissing. Oh Christmas, who knew you could be so fun? Karkat and Jade are screaming at each other, Rose and Kanaya are still kissing, and John passed out when Terezi slapped him, then Terezi and Dave started screaming and you love the pandemonium. You whisper something to a wasted Eridan and he goes over to Sollux and starts screaming at him about quadrants. You giggle at how confused Sollux is and how quickly he starts yelling too. Pretty soon everyone else is yelling, trying to figure out whats going on. You write a note and tape it too the door as you slip out into the velvet night.
-Kanaya-
After Equius silences everybody, you notice something. "Guys, who's the one person not here?" Everyone groans, "God fucking damnit Serket!" Karkat yells, waving a piece of paper in the air. You take it and read it aloud.
Merry Christmas 8itches, you got played.