Dear diary:

I woke up today feeling quite more lonely than the usual. Mom forgot again to kiss me goodbye before leaving to work and dad didn't show up until 11 am. Yesterday mom and dad had another argument late at night about something I didn't get to understand. They were saying things such as "Bill hasn't paid me yet, I'm sorry" and "how could I marry such a disappointment?". I really don't get why mommy hates daddy so much. He is a bit useless, but we are a family after all, aren't we?

I actually kind of hate mommy. I think I never got to tell this to you, diary, but I do. Why does she have to be so mean to daddy? He is really trying. I can tell.

Sometimes I wish me and daddy would just leave Arcadia and don't tell mom at all. I really do hate her. I know I shouldn't, though. She's my mom, after all.

Anyways. I woke up today feeling lonely. And this is because I didn't get any greetings for my birthday. Yey, today is my birthday!... Yey... My birthday.

I decided to let it go since mom and dad are so busy. Mom deserves time to deal with work and dad… well, with alcohol. He actually sleeps all day and I don't blame him for it. Alcohol does taste horrible. I tried it once 2 years ago (when I was seven), and I nearly threw up. It tastes like acid cough syrup. Imagine now drinking a full bottle of it!. I think its name is Jack something. I don't really remember.

When I left home, daddy was sleeping in the couch and mommy was already gone, so I had no one to say goodbye to. Luckily, school is only 7 blocks away from home, so I don't get so much time alone. I don't like being alone... Jacob always bothers me when I'm alone. Even in my sleep.

I don't love school either, tough. Every day is the same shit; (I heard Nicho say this word the other day. I think it's a bad word) I arrive, Sean sees me, calls his group and they all together throw me into the trashcan. I really do hate it. It makes me really mad, also, that Ms. London doesn't do anything about it. Sometimes I hear her laughing. It makes me furious.

I don't have much friends at school… or anywhere. I actually don't have friends at all. My only friend is Jacob. But sometimes he can be really annoying, and mean. He makes me hate mommy, and the class, and the teacher. I don't like these thoughts. I feel really bad when I think about them. But Jacob really doesn't shut up.

The only thing that can silence Jacob is my camera. I love my camera. It's the only thing that makes me truly happy. My dream is to be a photographer one day. I want to be really famous and have lots of pretty girls around me. I wouldn't get married, though. I don't want to end up like mommy and daddy.

Speaking of which, today I brought my camera to school. I don't do this really often but I saw something beautiful to take a picture of; in the garden, there was a withered rose. It just seemed so… powerless. So innocent. I felt like I could watch it forever, and it wouldn't mind.

I regretted taking that picture, though. When I came to class, Sean took the picture out of my hands, and he teared it in half. My eyes filled with tears, and Sean laughed at me because of it. "Wow, look! Ms pussy is crying", he said - and everybody stared at me with almost evilness in their eyes, laughing out loud. I stood up and said to the teacher: "Ms London! Everybody is making fun of me! Aren't you going to do something about it?"

"sit down, Jefferson", she said.

So I did.

Dear diary;

I am starting to hate girls.