Disclaimer: I only own my own characters. I am not affiliated with BBC or the producers of Robin Hood in anyway. That'd be hella cool though.
I shook my head and stood up from my place on the log. "I'm going to check on her."
Will's head moved from it's place in his arms. "She's not going to be home."
I turned on him biting back a slew of words I longed to say to my so called friend. "Then where the bloody hell is she?"
Will ran a hand over the ax on his lap slowly. "Whenever she's upset or angry….whenever she just wants to go away she goes to the Willow. It's a huge weeping willow that sits on the hill overlooking the village."
I shook my head moving out of camp throwing both hands in the air. "Are you going to do anything? Or are you just going to let her go?"
For the first time since this afternoon, Will finally looked up, meeting my eyes. "I don't know."
"You need to learn to sort out your priorities mate." I turned away. Seeing Will looking that useless was pathetic. You couldn't even describe it as hopeless. He could be running to Siobhan's hiding place, but he wasn't.
"No," My voice was soft a whisper. "Will's not but I am. I'm not going to leave her."
I ran fingers through my his hair, with no effect. I was soaking wet, clothes weighing an extra few pounds. The bloody rain hadn't stopped yet. It just got heavier by the minute, but I finally arrived at the tree. My hand pulled aside some of the great hanging branches. My heart stopped, the rain didn't touch me. She was worth all the rain.
Siobhan was sprawled below the trunk. Her shirt was twisted around her legs, top drenched and sticking to her like a second skin. Her hair was darker than usual and curled tightly beneath the rain. Her eyes blinked up at the sky, even in the darkness those sapphire spheres shone.
God she was beautiful.
I cleared my throat lightly, calling to her. "Siobhan?"
Siobhan looked up, red tear tracks down her face making my chest seize. "What are you doing here?" She wiped her eyes with an already damp sleeve, looking at me with open eyes. This was the first time I had ever seen her with her defenses down.
Letting the branches swing back into place I moved forward sitting close to the trunk. My fingers moved on their own accord toward her face. I brushed her hair out of her face, willing myself not to grab her. "I was worried."
"About what?"
I gave her a look, jaw tight.
Her eyes flickered toward the ground. "I am fine." She sounded more like she was trying to make herself believe than me.
"Siobhan, you don't have to lie to me."
She pushed herself back moving closer to me, turning her face toward the branches. Lightning flashed in the distance, highlighting her face. "I don't know anymore Allan. I care about him. I always have, but I know he cares about Djaq. I always knew. Will cares about everyone. I just always took for granted I would have him around. It's something I should have realized a long time ago. I should have listened when all the women told me I would do well to learn my place."
I reached an arm out, pulling her closer to me. It was wrong but I needed to feel her close. "You have your place. Will is a fool for not realizing his place is with you, no matter if we are in the woods or not. You haven't moved on because you do not need to. He is a complete fool. And the way he treats you. As if no one else cares about you among us he believes only he has the right to protect you and he has hurt you the most."
Siobhan lifted her face to look at me with one of her simple smiles. Even those little movements were beautiful. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
My arm turned her toward me hoping she couldn't feel the racing of my heart. My left hand cradled her cheek. "Because you have been amazing to all of us. I care about you. Yes I like Djaq but you…you are something different and Will is a fool for not seeing it." I laughed at myself. I was repeating the same thing, and I knew she had already realized it. "I will keep saying it for as long as I have to. He's a bloody fool."
Siobhan moved her hand to cover mine on her cheek. Her eyes closed slowly, I was partially grateful for that. I didn't want to see those sapphire's snuffed out, but at the same time I was glad not to be under their penetrating gaze. "Allan you aren't making this any easier for me."
My voice fell soft as my grip on her tightened. "If Will loves Djaq, maybe…maybe it is that I love you."
I didn't let her respond but I moved in kissing her. The thunder roared, giving voice to how my heart felt. I lifted her into my arms as the wind picked up blowing the rain into the tree at us. She was soft and warm in my arms, fitting perfectly. Her kiss tasted like sweet apples, and I never wanted it to end.
Siobhan's lips drew back slowly, head shaking before her eyes ever opened. "I can't. Allan, I can't. I just can't."
I sat still, watching as she crawled back away from me. I couldn't take my eyes off her. My breath was slow, and I knew she could hear it too. "You still love him?"
She nodded, fresh tears running down her face. "He may be a fool, but he is my fool. I love him. I can't do that to you Allan, it's just not fair. I won't do that to you."
I stood slowly pressing my palms against the tree. My head was bowed staring at the ground, but I had to close my eyes. Those little rivers of rain around the trees reflected myself and my pathetic stance.
I heard Siobhan stand up and move beside me. Her fingers touched my shoulder gently and I could feel her hesitance. "Allan, it would not be fair of me to do that to you."
I smiled, raising my head and turned to look at her. Her eyes looked defeated, and I could tell she was sincerely sorry. It wasn't pity on her face and I was grateful for that at least. I found my voice slowly. "If things were different, do you think…do you think you could love me as much as Will?"
Siobhan pressed a kiss to my check and backed away "If things were different, I would be crazy not to have you in my life."
I pushed off the tree with a small nod. I moved close to her kissing her forehead lightly, keeping my hands to my sides, not trusting myself to touch her. "Thank you." I gave her a little smile, finding it easier than I could have thought. Then I realized why. I really did love her. If letting her go to be with Will was what would make her happy, then I would do it without a fight. "Now get out of the rain. I just wanted…to check on you."
Siobhan moved the branched to the side, pausing to look back at me. She was silhouetted by the soft light of the moon. The rain was still pouring down, yet it seemed to never touch her. "How did you know where to find me?"
I felt a twitch in my lips. "Will told me."
Her eyes warmed and she turned to walk down the hill. I moved to the branches not moving past them yet. I just wanted a chance to watch her. Her movements were slow and I could tell she was in deep thought.
"Please, spare a thought for me tonight."
I watched as she paused close to her cabin. Her head turned toward the tree, but she continued walking stopping just outside her door. I could tell by the fluidity of her movements she hadn't even realized it. Even if just for a moment her dreaming mind thought of me. I could live with that.
A bolt of lightning flashed again, illuminating the little cottage. My fist wrapped around one of the falling branches as Will entered her cottage stiffly. Heavy smoke rose from the small chimney and my heart fell.
He was going to apologize like he always did. He always apologized whenever he did something so bloody stupid I wondered how he had ever made it this far. Time and time again I watched that bit of hurt creep into Siobhan's eyes. She had her shield, but with Will she never knew how to hide the hurt.
I was a man, and as any man I fell victim to a woman. A woman in distress is any man's weakness. It killed me that the one person she loved could hurt her so much, when I loved her more than he knew how. Siobhan needed someone a bit older who understood her more.
She'd known Will all her life, but Will had been all she'd known. He'd been a year older and always took for granted she was there. I had a good two years on Will and hadn't grown up in town with them. I'd seen deep love, and heartbreaking love. My brother and I watched as our father left us with a barmaid one night and never returned. Our mother still put a candle in the window thinking one day he might come back. I loved my mother, but she didn't know how to control her love. With Siobhan at least she had time to stay mad, at least she didn't just let things pass without a word. Yet she would have her words and welcome him back in her arms as if he had done nothing wrong. Siobhan has a kind heart despite her hard exterior. The night we hid in the barn with the baby I woke up to screaming, finding my head resting in Siobhan's lap. I looked up to see that face smooth and calm trying to calm the babe.
I let my mind wander thinking of Siobhan. I shouldn't have, but I would pay for it later. I remember the day we went to destroy the minds. It was the first time I'd ever seen her in pants. She had stolen one of Will's shirts but the top clasp would not close. I still remember the small blush on her face when my eyes roamed. My gaze was not meant to be rude, just appreciate. Will was too shocked to say anything and I think that disappointed her a bit. I also remember when I finally came out of the state I was in because of the plants she had given me. Robin had brought Siobhan in for a check up on me and when I opened my eyes she was gently wiping my face with a damp cloth.
I groaned trying to sit up and failing. "What was that stuff?"
Siobhan shook her head, dark ruby stands twisting around. "never you mind that. You had me worried there for a second."
I managed a grin. "Worrying about me now?"
She grinned wickedly. "Maybe if you listened to directions I wouldn't have to."
That grin was one I longed to see whenever I saw her. It made my blood rush and made me want to take her far away from Will.
Siobhan scared me too. She worried the hell out of me more than I had worried her. The morning I found her sick in her cottage. Her face was as pale as snow, eyes a shiny color, but paler than usual. I grabbed her in my arms laying her on her bed, scared to move from her side. It was one of the few times I didn't want to steal her away. I wanted to sit by her side and never let her move. She looked vulnerable in those minutes, but not as vulnerable as when I found her under the tree.
Later that day she had gotten into a small argument with Will and he left her without a word. I had brought her cloak over she shoulders reminder her he was just a boy and would come around eventually. She chided my words with a little smile, asking how I could call him a boy when I was only two years older.
I took her cheek with a small smile. "Because I am not confused about women." I let out a laugh trying to cover for the feelings I wanted to let out. "Well, I will correct myself. I am not confused about the type of women that are best for me." Like you.
She laughed and gave my cheek a kiss. "Allan-a-Dale, you, I will never understand."
I sighed, entering camp again. My darling, Siobhan. You could understand me so well if you just tried. If only you could let go of Will.
Will was my friend, but I could not believe his ignorance to matters. He realized my feelings for Siobhan, but I do not believe he understood how deep they were. He had all the right to be worried about me, but no right to be jealous when Siobhan had eyes for no one else, but him. It had started many an argument between us which everyone else attempted to ignore. Except when we fought in front of Robin and Siobhan over me giving her that ring. I did it to be kind. I thought it was something she would like, the ring just stick me as something she would wear. I hadn't known it was her mother's, but I was glad I followed my instinct. Will had gotten offended I had given it to her at all. When Robin asked what was wrong. I simply blew up and stated Will thought he was the only one allowed to care about Siobhan.
I wish he had just punched me at that point. I wish he had done anything for Siobhan to see he wasn't as flawless as she thought. Yet she knew he was flawed. I just wanted to know what it was going to take for her to realize I could love her better. I stretched out on the floor of our temporary camp in the cave sitting by the small fire Djaq had started.
Robin came to sit by my side giving me a look. "Where've you been."
"In the rain."
Much gave a snort. "It finally started lightening up when you came back. Wonder what that sudden downpour was for. Think they're swimming in heaven?"
I gave a sad little smile, closing my eyes. "It was raining because the most beautiful angel of them all was crying."
A/N:
Hope you liked this little quick thing. I always wanted to insert something about Allan's thoughts when he found her so I thought I'd do this little one shot thing. He's just too adorably cute. And I am much to tired at night to be trusted with my laptop on watching RH.
