A/N: Experimental fic I've wanted to write for a while. Will be updated the times when my head isn't screwed on right. Warnings for bad language, un-gory gore and unsympathetic characters. And warnings for being experimental, I suppose.

What's the hurry?
Live a little
Sure, I'm gonna do it
later
Gimme a break, will ya?
I won't forget,
Of course I'll do it
later

This is… what is this crap? m'I tripping or something?

"Hello?"

I cringe and shut my mouth. There's way too quiet here, my voice sounds like an air raid siren. Speaking of air raids, what the hell is up with the sky? Why's the sky red? What the fuck is this place?

And how did I get here?

I… I must've been drugged or something. Someone spiked my booze at Barney's while I took a leak – 'cept I don't remember going to the bar. Last thing I remember is thinking I had that overdue phone bill to pay. Did I pay that…? I put it on the fridge so I wouldn't forget about it, but I can't remember…
I've got my sweatpants on, and a grey tee with food stains on it. I can't have been at the bar, must've been home. Then how the fuck did they get in to grab me?

"Um, hello…?"

Who're you trying to fool, boy? There's no one here, just red sky and grey sand. There's not even roads or tire tracks.

How the fuck did they get me here?

Screw that, I need to get out of here. I don't know how far it is to the closest town, but sun's almost set and I don't wanna find out what kind of shit roams this place at night. Getting pictures of those giant sand worms from Dune here and that isn't exactly any pleasant- ah fuck! What's with this sand?! It's like grains of glass dammit!

"Next time I'm getting kidnapped I'm wearing shoes." That would be a cool line. If there was anyone around to hear it.

Whatever. I try my best to sit down smoothly to have a look at my feet but end up dropping my fat ass into the glass-sand with a thump. God bless sweatpants: ugly as hell but at least they're thick and soft.

"Wouldn't it be fucking brilliant to get tetanus on top of all this?"

Not that I can get tetanus – got a shot for that when I was little – but it's not like I know any other illnesses you catch from getting dirt in a cut. Oh, yeah, you can get flesh-eating bacteria. Wouldn't that be just the thing to ice the cake with?

"What… the fuck…?"

I brushed the grains off my foot with my pant leg. There's still some larger bits stuck that I have to get out with my fingers, but I only plucked a couple. There's no blood. I know I've got calluses, but I even try squeezing the skin around the cut. And there's not a single drop of blood.

"Oh this is messed up man, this is so messed up…"

I pull out another shard, wait for the longest time for blood. I mean, the pain is real… right? I feel it sting, just like it should, but…

My gaze shifts to the shard. I squeeze it. Yeah, it's real. It's not glass now that I look at it; more like a sharp splinter of stone.

I lick my parched lips. The thought freaks me out, man. I had friends who were into cutting in high school but I never felt the need. I could never do something like that. But I gotta know. I gotta push this thing into my flesh so I know for sure.

Why doesn't it bleed?

I discovered the most messed up thing just now. I mean this whole place is messed up but this doesn't make sense!

I found Adnan's toy panda. That thing from the World Wildlife Fund he used to have on his desk. I know it's the same one 'cause it has that little crocheted jumper his daughter made for it. I found it here in the sand. Don't know how the fuck it got there but I'm starting to see it now. Adnan's behind this. He's figured out it was me and he wants to pay me back.

Except that doesn't make sense either.

Adnan's a freakin' lab technician for Christ's sake! He doesn't have the cash to stage something like this! You can't even control the effects of a hallucinogenic this closely! I don't know what you'd need to stage this! I've walked my tee to shreds but nothing around has changed. I'm gonna have to rip up my sweatpants and bind around my feet next – but hey, doesn't matter does it? There's no one here who could see my naked butt. Just a big grey fucking desert.

Just you and me, Panda.

I just want to wake up. Please. I want to wake up now.

Please…?

I've been walking on my pants for some time now. They're shredding bit by bit in this sand ocean hell. I don't know what I'm gonna do when they're worn out too. It's going to hurt. It's going to hurt so bad. I'm not going to bleed but it's going to hurt.

Why don't I bleed, Panda? Why am I not hungry?

Panda…?

I'm in a coma. I must be, it's the only explanation I can think of. I'm in a coma and I'm dreaming weird shit. Maybe I'm ill or something. I think… they're amputating my feet at the hospital…

I… I can't cry… I wanna cry so badly and I keep pushing my face into Panda's fur but nothing comes nothing's there there's nothing inside of me. No blood, no tears, no…

No feet.

It hurts.

I don't know where I am or how far it's left and it hurts…!

"I'm sorry Adnan! It was me! I didn't send the test results on time and I changed the records so you got the blame for it! I'm SORRY! Sorry doesn't cut it, I know, I know…! But I didn't think the patient would die and I didn't think they'd fire you for it and I- I was gonna clear it up with you when things had settled down but then you moved, and I was gonna look up your new address but things got in the way and… and…"

…sound? Where? Is someone coming?

"He-hello?!" Hope. Hope's the last thing that leaves man and sweet lord could I use some hope right now! "Anyone there?! Help! I'm over here! Help me!"

The sounds come from the sky, could be a helicopter. I start waving my arms, waving Panda – I feel like crying again. It's over, finally. I'll get out of here. I'll go home. It's like a dream.

It's like a nightmare.

The things that land before me look like grasshoppers. Big fucking grasshoppers standing up on their hind legs. Grasshoppers don't have six eyes. I don't know why the fuck I'm thinking about that now but I know they don't and before I think anything else I turn and run. No pain just fucking run faster than I've ever-

I fall headlong into the stone shards. I've got no toes left. The sand has been grinding down the bone of my heels for a while now.

I squeeze Panda tightly in my hand and scramble back up on my… "feet".