Author's Note: No infringement is intended; the characters belong to Joss Whedon and FOX. I am not gaining money for this; it is merely for entertainment. The story is based on an idea that Joss once had to bring someone back. Reviews would be greatly appreciated.
Wishful Thinking
A Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fan Fic
Chapter 1 - Reconnected
Willow Rosenberg sniffled as a tear slid softly down her cheek and to her chin, where it hung perilously over the grass below before finally dropping and landing without a sound. Another followed it, and then one more until finally the young woman gave in to her grief and laid her head in her hands as she cried for her lost love Tara Maclay. At least I'm able to cry now, she thought to herself, thinking back to a time not long before when she'd become a black haired and veined being that could almost be called a demi-god, or goddess in her case. The only feelings she'd felt then were of vengeance and destruction. Her still fresh magickal addiction had given her a taste for dark magicks and this seemed to be a perfect time to turn to them. After draining the Magic Box's darkest magick books she began by flaying Tara's killer Warren alive before setting off after his 'partners in crime', stopping only to dish a beating to anyone who stood in her way – including her friends. Buffy, Giles, Anya…they'd all felt the wrath of Willow, who not only put a magickal whammy on the borrowed magick wielding watcher, but also beat the slayer at her own game – a good old fashioned fistfight. Finally Xander's show of love was able to stop her before she committed the vilest act of all, the destruction of the world. She'd wanted to end the world's pain at that time, now she was happy that she could feel anything but overpowering anger. Grieving was the only way to deal with her loss and move on, if that was even possible.
Reaching forward to place a selection of runes and stones on her lover's headstone, she traced the letters with her right index finger. Tara had forgiven her for her magickal addiction, an addiction that almost got Dawn killed, before she was taken away by the stray bullet but this was so much different. How could her friends forgive her for what she had done? I took a human life. I killed somebody. I nearly destroyed the world! I wouldn't blame you if you were looking down on me in shame Tara; I wouldn't blame you if you hate me. I hate myself enough right now, not to mention the vibe I'm getting from the gang. Since Willow had returned from her brief stay in England for rehabilitation, her friends had been edgy around her, not quite sure whether she was actually 'cured' - whether she might revert to her dark ways and flay them alive given the chance. Instead of voicing their opinions out of fear of either angering or hurting her, they instead gave her a lot of space, which she guessed she was grateful for in a way. She needed time to think - she wasn't even sure in her own mind whether she was a threat to the world anymore, whether she was putting her friends in danger by her mere presence in the house.
Finally, after a week of uncertainty, Willow had donned her jacket and made the trip to one of the nicer cemeteries in town, not that any cemetery could be deemed nice. Seeing Tara's grave didn't invoke rage within her as she'd feared it would the moment she laid eyes on it. Instead she just felt the sorrow and pain that she was long overdue, finally she could deal with Tara's death in the proper way. There'd be no resurrection – her lover died of natural causes and was therefore ineligible for the act. Not that Willow even wanted to risk a resurrection again, not when it had ripped Buffy from a peaceful existence in heaven. No, she couldn't – and wouldn't – do that to Tara. So she sat, she cried and she whispered words of love to the young woman who had changed her life in many ways, some she couldn't even express in words. She sat for there for hours and did nothing but think of, and reminisce about, their times together. It was dark when she finally said her goodbyes - but not before promising to return soon - and headed home.
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In a cemetery on the other side of town, Buffy Summers flew through the air and landed a solid drop kick to the chest of the approaching demon – an Olfar if she wasn't mistaken. "What is it with you guys these days? Do you want to get killed? Planning a mass, slayer aided, suicide?" she asked as she ducked under a closed fisted punch that would have surely taken her head off otherwise. "Or is this a clever ploy to distract the slayer so you can destroy the world or something completely predictable and overdone like that?" she added, hoping to whatever God existed that she was wrong. Either way the demon wasn't responding, uttering nothing but low, guttural growls as it continued to swipe at her. It didn't take too long for her to get into a position in which she could snap its neck. Quite frankly it was just too easy. And that, she'd come to learn, was never a good thing. She didn't have time to dwell on it though because as she turned to head home she came face to face with a duo of vampires, looking as if they'd come from the Dark Age. Great, as if I haven't got enough to worry about with Willow home, she thought as she got into a low fighting stance. She held herself partly to blame, felt that maybe if she'd taken down the trio, and more importantly Warren, earlier then nothing would have happened. But it had, and she couldn't spend her time dwelling on the 'what-ifs' of life. The fact of the matter was that a perhaps still-unstable Willow was now in her house and not thousands of miles away in England. The fact scared her immensely – Willow had, after all, proved that she could take Buffy down if she wanted to. They hadn't spoken after the 'incident'. Willow, being too ashamed, had asked Giles to collect her things from the house in preparation for their trip. The only time she'd spent with her friends was filled with silence and awkward glances from all. Over time, Buffy had calmed and had been happy to be distracted by hellmouth related activity but now Willow was home and it was a different ballgame altogether. Not wanting to leave Dawn alone for too long, especially as she was more freaked out than anyone about Willow's homecoming, Buffy quickly disposed of the two vampires. In fact, she moved with such speed that she covered the distance to the graveyard wall in seconds, and then vaulted over it as the last specs of ash landed gently on the trampled, damp ground.
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As Buffy entered the Summers residence a while later, she could immediately tell that something was wrong, very wrong. "Dawn? Willow?" she called as she made her way through the dining room and into the kitchen, finding an overturned table surrounded by shards of broken cutlery in her path. "Guys?" she continued, the worry obvious in her voice. Pulling a stake from its inconspicuous home at the small of her back, Buffy made her way up the stairs with as must haste as she could manage – and being a slayer, she could manage a lot. What she found as she took a quick glance in each of the rooms was more worrying than what she'd expected; they were completely untouched. She knew that she shouldn't be thinking it but she couldn't help but feel that Willow may have been to blame in some way, even though she knew full well that it if had of been Willow then there'd have been a hell of a lot more than an overturned table and a bunch of plates to worry about. The only thing she could think to do next was phone Giles, so she made her way back downstairs and to the phone, having left the stake on her bed. As she neared the bottom step she heard the door opening and prepared herself for battle. As she pulled her hand back, however, it was not a vampire, demon or other hell-beastie that was about to get a knuckle sandwich courtesy of the slayer but a very startled looking Willow.
"Will, are you ok?" Buffy asked as she lowered her hands and moved out of the way to let the redhead in.
"Uh, yeah. I think so. What's going on?" Willow replied as she moved into the house and removed her jacket. "I mean it's not everyday that I have to worry about getting hit by the slayer, unless of course I'm trying to destroy the world." She continued, beginning to ramble uncomfortably. Having mentioned the incident for the first time, the young woman went silent, hoping that Buffy would simply ignore her comment and fill her in.
"I'm not exactly sure. All I know is that someone went postal on the dining room table and I couldn't find either you or Dawn." answered Buffy, leading Willow into the dining room.
"Well, now you've found me, albeit in a very strange way involving near Willow decapitation and, as for Dawn, she's staying over a friend's house tonight, remember?" said Willow as she aimed a reassuring smile towards her best friend - or former best friend, she wasn't quite sure.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, just got caught up in the worry and all. So, where have you been?" Buffy turned and left the room, deciding to clean it up later. She made her way into the living room, sat on the sofa and waited for Willow to join her.
"I went to visit Tara." Willow followed the young blonde into the living room and sat next to her, being careful not to sit too close. Things were just too weird between them; she didn't know how to act around Buffy anymore. "At the cemetery." she continued, not wanting Buffy to think that she'd used magick to visit her literally.
"Well of course, where else would you," said Buffy, realisation dawning within her. "Oh, right. Are you all right? I mean, how was it?"
"I'm fine, it was fine. I actually feel a bit better now that I've done it. Each time I thought about it I would get more and more afraid of losing my temper until finally I just decided enough was enough."
"I'm glad to hear it Will, I really am." Buffy leant forward and gave her friend a warm, embracing hug, the first one she'd given her since before she turned 'evil'.
"Thanks, Buffy. I'm sure she's happy where she is, so I should be too, for her." Willow said, taking comfort in Buffy's embrace. For the first time in a long while, Willow truly felt like they were friends.
"Of course you should, and I'll do anything I can to help you. Speaking of helping you feel better; what would you say to brownies and movies?"
"Sounds great," replied Willow, smiling widely. "But don't you want to get a head start on finding out who broke in?"
"Nope, that can wait until tomorrow; now it's time for chocolate goodness and unbelievable plots." Buffy said, determined to spend some quality time with her best friend after doubting her. She was pretty sure that Willow had felt the tension, and felt terrible for making things worse for her.
"Well, how can I say no now? I'll go get the brownies, you get the movies."
"No, you're staying right there Miss Rosenberg, and you're going to let me wait on you. Just for tonight though, don't get used to it." Buffy left the room, heading towards the kitchen.
Willow smiled at Buffy as she left the room and then raised her knees up to her chest and hugged them, keeping herself warm. She felt extremely happy at that moment; she was friends with Buffy again, she'd visited Tara's grave without flaying anyone and, finally, things could get back to normal. When Buffy returned, they laughed and joked as they watched a well-chosen comedy that they both loved until Willow finally gave in and fell asleep. Upon noticing that Willow had fallen asleep, Buffy carefully placed a blanket over her and, in a rather sisterly way, gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. She then turned off the lights, along with the TV, and made her way to bed.