The Avengers, a mighty team of super heroes, were holding a meeting at their super secret hideout. Wherever the hell that was. There was an urgent issue that needed to be taken care of. Some crazy monster was on the loose and destroying the city. Also...the break room was out of bagels, but that would have to wait.
"Alright, team." Captain America said, in his dorky outfit. "What should we do to take out this monster?"
"Maybe I can hit it with my hammer!" Thor announced, holding up a pink, blow up toy hammer. "The… old one broke."
"HULK SMASH!" The green "hero" shouted, randomly destroying a nearby coffee machine. "Then HULK REPAIR...and SMASH AGAIN! And then Hulk cuddle with it."
"No! We should use whales!" Aqua Man said in his goofy voice. "WHALES!"
Everyone stared at him.
"What? The Justice League didn't want me anymore, so I figured I'd join your team…"
More silence, followed by everyone simultaneously yelling "Get out!"
Meanwhile, in the back of the room, Iron Man was sitting around, looking out the window. "I am Iron Man...and I am surrounded by idiots…" He mumbled. He was also wishing he had some doughnuts right now. Doughnuts always made everything better. And booze. You know what fixes everything that booze doesn't? Booze filled doughnuts. Yes. He then noticed that the giant monster was approaching their hideout…
"Wait, I've got an idea!" Captain America said, confidently. "Let's run the fuck away! We can go hang out at some strip club in Vegas!"
"Brilliant idea! The assholes of this city can save themselves for once!" Thor agreed.
But then they noticed the monster staring right into their hideout. "Oh, shit."
Iron Man was outside, flying behind the monster. It turned around to face him, but Iron Man just punched it in the eye, causing it to fall back into the building, completely destroying it. "I am Iron Man and sidekicks are for pussies." He said before flying off.
"My whales were in that building!" Aqua Man screamed, staring at the destruction from down the street. "WHALES!"