So Im going to give you a probably really long authors note so if you have been on my authors alert or have been a fan of my work in the past oyu may want to read this. My user name was formally known as alice500 but I got inspiration from this song Save Your Heart by Mayday Parade. I would listen to it if I were you because its sort of reflects how this period of my life is going and what I want the stories under my user name to reflect. I sort of got sick of almost all of the stories I had on my alice500 page and I wanted to do something a bit more grown up and believable. Although my last user name has a lot of Jake and Nessie on it this story is Jared and Kim because I think they are absouletely freaking adorable :) I deleted every story on my page but the five that I really think were my best ideas. So I really hope you like my story and subsribe because I have a lot more ideas Im anxious to try out. So you've all waited long enough ( considering I havent updated anything in months ) so I hope you like it!

A normal typical teenager will find love a dozen times before she finds the relationship that is all worth it in the end. I wish I was that normal teenager, instead I was in love with the same boy since I was twelve years old who didn't know my first name and who I simply couldn't get over no matter how hard I tried, and trust me I had tried various times over the last five years but nothing ever worked. I always ended coming back to staring at him in class or wishing why he was always hanging off a new girl every couple of weeks when I was standing here looking in from the sidelines.

I prayed every day that some how I would get over him but I physically couldn't no matter how badly I wish that he would start hurting me. I didn't understand sometimes why he didn't like me, I understood that I wasn't some super model but I wasn't butt ugly. I was that pretty curvy girl that wasn't fat but wasn't skinny. I was a funny girl, smart and kind. I gave up trying to impress him a year ago knowing that if he had wanted any kind of relationship he would have said so. Even if I had given up I knew that I often caught myself staring at him from the back of the room in my history class.

Jared's current girl friend is the exactly the kind of girl that he usually dated, cheerleaders that were the popular ones that were the ones the boys drooled over. I cant even remember the last time Jared spoke two words to me, its probably been years.

My obsessive crush on Jared Kihl started about five long years ago when we were just two little kids in the seventh grade. The way I started crushing on him was very unusual, it was the first day of the seventh grade and as everyone knows the first day of school is like a little overview of how people had changed over the summer. Before then I hadn't thought much of Jared, I just thought of him as another kid I grew up with. On the first day there was a teacher with books in her hands that were piled so high that they reached her chin, every her I went to go help her but before I got there Jared ran up to her and took half of the stack from her. I know that's a stupid reason to fall for someone but it was just what he did was just so considerate, it helped that he was good looking too.

From that time on I was pretty much obsessed with him and I was aware of everything he did. I knew that the possibility of him getting together with me were slim but every time homecoming or the prom rolled around I couldn't help but wonder if he was planning to ask me. Well I always got my answer, the same one every time. He always asked some popular girl that everyone expected him too.

The times where I tried to get over Jared were interesting. I wasn't depressed but I wasn't happy I just felt plain. I was more depressed hanging onto him and knowing that that he would never date me then I was when I just ignored him all the time. I would always end up falling for him over and over again and lately I was getting sick of it no matter how much I had fallen in love with him.

I was sick of the crappy feeling he left me with when he didn't talk to me in class or when he would hang on to his new girlfriend, I don't know what was persuading me to even dress up for him anymore but I still did. For example I wore dark blue denim skinny jeans that hugged my curves and a black tank top with a unbuttoned purple sweater over it. Perfect back to school outfit. I knew that I was beautiful. I just had to pray that he would realize it too.

My friends weren't the most supportive people of my little crush . They never held me when I cried over him getting his first girlfriend or told me that I was way better for him then his new girlfriend. No they yelled at me for staring at him in class or told me over and over again that he would never like me. Deep down I knew all of the things they said were true but they were my friends they were supposed to make up crap that was supposed to make me believe an impossibility. I got sick of it for a while so I just blocked out them completely now.

Their had been a group of our friends basically since the second grade and our teacher arranged the desks in groups of four and we were all paired together. There were four of us me, Neomie, Marilyn, and Tabor. Tabor was the only boy of the group and he had been in love with Marilyn for as long as I had been in love with Jared but Tabor was better at hiding his feelings. Because Tabor was so in love with Marilyn he barely ever gave me trouble with my intense obsession. Tabor was a tall boy that was a couple of inches over six foot, he had pale skin because he was only a small portion Quileute. He had blue eyes and the girls at the school were like putty in his hands. He didn't care though all that was in his eyes were Marilyn. If you saw Marilyn on the street you would probably think that she is some tough biker chick what with her cherry red leather jacket, black skinny jeans and fierce combat boots along with her long tied up jet black hair. Marilyn was tough but she was no biker chick. This girl was an activist and even she knew that she was born to be one, more importantly Marilyn cared about people and that's why Tabor fell madly in love with here even if she was to blind to see it

Neomie was something else entirely. Neomie was Marilyn's identical twin but Neomie did everything in her power to distinguish that. Neomie secretly envied Marilyn because everyone respected her. Neomie had sapphire blue highlights in her hair and her favorite outfit was her skinny jeans and her military jacket. If she wasn't as tough as Marilyn she wanted to at least look like it.

Every year on the first day of school they would give me the annual Jared speech. They choose this day because it was the day that I first fell head over heals for Jared. I don't know if I was prepared for this one though, it was the five-year anniversary of my obsession with him. They were going to give me some serious crap this year. We always got there early on the first day anyways so we sat in the janitors closet because on our freshman year we the closet was a tad bit open and we caught the janitor and a student making out. We promised to stay silent if he let us use it to crash during our free periods and stuff or eat lunch there when we were having a bad day. My friends and I sat in a circle and they all had these evil glares on their faces.

" So its your five year anniversary Kimmy Kim." Neomie taunted me. God my friends sucked.

" Guys I really don't think we need to do this this year." I groaned trying to convince them.

" Kim this is getting serious. I know we give you a lot of crap about this but, its gotten to much I know you must think we do this just to get you all mad and depressed but we don't want to see you end up disappointed." Marilyn said patting the edge of my hand.

" I know guys and I have a new school year resolution." I told them grinning.

" Oh my is Kimmie gonna try to get over Jared for the billionth time?" Neomie shrieked rolling her eyes. She didn't believe a word I said, I didn't blame her I had said these words a million times.

" No guys this is the truth this time. I'm almost eighteen I have to quit this crap, I need to move on." I swallowed a ginormous lump in my throat. To my surprise all my friends gathered around me and hugged me.

" Love ya girl." Marilyn told me. We got out of the closet and made our way outside to hang out a little before class. Marilyn and Neomie headed ahead of us and Tabor and I walked slower.

" Kim I'm sorry." Tabor said honestly stopping us.

" For what?" I asked.

" For giving you crap about this whole Jared thing, you've been nothing but supportive about my crush on Marilyn and all I've told you is that its never going to happen." He apologized and he meant it.

" Its ok dude I know you only mean the best. It's your last year with Marilyn before she heads to NYC for college. Ask her to homecoming, make the first move. Take a chance." I told him. Before he could argue I skipped down the campus to catch up with Neomie and Marilyn.

" Is Tabor ok?" Marilyn asked popping a piece of gum in her mouth.

" Yeah he just had to talk to me about his new classes." I lied. She nodded. I sometimes wondered if secretly Marilyn liked Tabor too or she was just being concerned.

" Ohhhhh Kim its your lover boy." Neomie whispered. Marilyn jabbed her in the ribs.

" Not helping." Marilyn hissed.

" Sorry." Neomie muttered. They were right Jared was over there hanging out with a bunch of guys from the gang of La Push. I tore my eyes away from him, I didn't need to make this any harder on myself than it already was.

" That filthy dirt bag." Marilyn spat from her closed teeth.

I turned around to see Jared stuffing a poor freshman into a ginormous trash can, it was cruel and harsh. Then I had an emphinay, this was not the boy I fell head over heals for five years ago, this was a monster. Before I could stop Marilyn she went over to Jared and took the poor little freshman out of the trash can,

" Just because your a jock doesn't mean you have to act like one!" She screamed at Jared. Jared deserved it.

" Excuse me?" He asked with a bit of a snort.

" Stop being a jackass to kids half your size and grow up." She spat at him before walking away. I was going to get over Jared Kihl this year if it was the last thing I did.

Review like always!

SaveYourHeart14