The most peculiar of my adventures occurred during my fifth year of college. To clarify, I wasn't attempting to receive a doctorate or higher degree, I was just far too lazy to actually graduate from school. But that is aside from the point. The main focus of this tale is on the lesser known mercenary called Fox McCloud. A strange creature who apparently reached the pinnacle of his fame here on earth around 1997, when his existence was apparently leaked to several game companies who, instead of using their newfound information to prove the existence of aliens, decided to make a profit off of his career stories.

From my understanding, Mr. McCloud agreed that he wouldn't kill them for blackmail if he himself was given a share of their profit. Needless to say, both Fox and the game companies have been well off ever since. It is because of Fox's business endeavors here on earth that I met the ever famous Mercenary, one fateful day during college finals.

It turns out McCloud had a delay on his bank transfer here on earth, and personally came to solve the problem. It would seem fate has a sense of humor, because just as he exited the cockpit of his R-wing, I was walking towards my local bank to see to a transfer. It was on the cross roads in front of my bank that we met.

I saw him from behind, calmly waiting at the cross walk for his time to pass along the street. Naturally, my curiosity was brought to its height by the wagging tail sticking out of his clothing. I looked around at everyone else, to see if they were as shocked as I at the sight. Surprisingly, no one did a double take.

The reason for this is quite explainable actually. It also turns out that the day Fox decided to revisit earth was the same day a comic convention was being held in our area. I cannot confirm or deny that the cover of the convention was in McCloud's plan all along, but something tells me it wasn't. That something being the conversation Fox struck up with a woman standing next to him.

"You! Earth woman!" He shouted far too loud, "Do you understand me right now?"

In a shock, the young red head next to him addressed Fox quickly, "Yeah I understand you!" She shouted back, doing her best to avoid eye contact with him.

"Where is the Padlock bank? It used to be on this intersection! It's gone now!" Fox yelled. As he barked questions the crossing light showed it safe to go forward, and the young girl did so quickly.

"Go get a job comic freak!" She yelled while fleeing as quickly as her high heels would allow. Fox let out a growl and looked back at me and several others.

"Earth creatures! Where is the Padlock bank?" He shouted again, "I'm tired, and hungry and tired, and I want to go home."

Everyone, including myself, ignored him. To be honest I wasn't totally positive that Fox was standing before me. The resemblance was unbelievable, he looked so… real. Not to mention that for a fox person, he was pretty darn intimidating.

I did manage to say something before he began to walk away, "Hey, are you Fox McCloud? I mean, are you supposed to be dressed up like him?"

Fox stared at me for a moment, unsure by what I meant, "I'm unsure by what you mean." He said

"For the convention today." I replied, gazing into Fox's eyes in disbelief, "I mean geese dude! You even got the eyes to blink! And the face moves so smoothly…"

The crowd, now frightened by both me and McCloud, quickly started to pass us. Fox growled again and stepped towards me. My face brightened, expecting my new found friend to take off his mask and tell me all of his costume making secrets. Instead I received a hard slap to my face.

"Stop being an idiot!" Fox shouted, "Why are all of you humans idiots? I swear every time I come here you people gawk for hours and then make crazy statements about me wearing a costume or some crap!" He tugged at his ears aggressively, "Does this look like a costume to you?"

Doing my best to hold back my tears (by no means did I want to look like a cry baby in front of Fox) I shook my head, "No… it doesn't."

Fox pulled at his tail, waiving his rear in my direction, "And this bad boy? Does this look like a fake tail to you huh? Huh?"

"I'm sorry, it's a very good costume. I didn't realize you were trying to keep in character." I answered. Again, I didn't get the response I was expecting.

Fox grabbed my shirt collar and hoisted me off my feet, "I swear, if you call my perfectly sculpted body a costume one more time, I'm going to slap your jaw off."

"You really like slapping don't you?"

"Enough!" Fox threw me to the floor, then quickly pulled a blaster from his utility belt.

It looked so real, I couldn't help but open my mouth, "Wow! Did you solder the edges yourself? That thing is really legit!"

He pulled its trigger back and shot the ground at my feet, I jumped in a fright. Then he placed the still smoking barrel inches away from my head, "You will help me find the bank I seek, or I will blow your brains out."

I stared at Fox, jaw dropped open wide, "You're the real thing!"

"Yes." He answered

"And you're really mean…"

We stared at one another, Fox's face twitched. "Just stand up."

"Are you going to hurt me if I don't?"

"Yes, I will hurt you lots. Now stand up Sapien."

I stood to my feet, Fox looked around to make sure we hadn't caused a scene. No one was looking. Apparently, when humans actually site an alien, they think absolutely nothing of it.

"Walk with me." He commanded, "We cross your highway now. When we reach the other side you will tell me where my bank has gone."

"You're a fox person." I said with a stupid smile on my face. I will admit, talking to an extra terrestrial had put my logical abilities into somewhat of a daze.

Fox looked back at me with seething eyes, "Yes." He replied.

"You're from outer space." I nodded to myself, "You're an outer space person."

"Yes. Yes I am."

"Can we be friends?"

"No, we cannot Sapien."

"Why?"

"Because if I was friends with you for more than an hour. I would be forced to kill you." Fox stopped when we reached the other side of the road, I stopped beside him.

"Oh…"

Fox grabbed my shoulders and squeezed tightly, "Now, I need you to focus. You are a local in this area yeah? You know this place well?"

Heartbroken by Fox's statement, I only managed to nod in response.

"Ok good. Now listen I'm looking for Padlock bank. Do you know where it is?"

I paused for a moment, looking up at the sky while I recalled my past memories. "Let's see… padlock… sounds safe I'll give it that! Get it? Fox! You get it?" I started to laugh, Fox didn't share in my enthusiasm.

"Answer the damn question."

"Uh… right. Well yes there was a padlock, indeed there was. But it was torn down…"

"What?" Fox interjected, "What do you mean?"

"Let me finish!" I whined like a child. Fox growled once again and slowly placed his index finger over his blaster's trigger, thankfully I didn't notice, "It was torn down for this new bank see? All customers who were apart of Padlock were supposed to fill out forms. If they didn't, their accounts were dropped."

Fox holstered his weapon, "Great! Just my luck! This means I'm going to have to go back to my ship… and talk things out. With officials…"

"Ship?" I said. Fox began to walk away, while simultaneously turning on his communicator.

He spoke into it, "Slippy, bad news. It looks like the bank where I got my transfers from is shut down. That would explain why I haven't been getting a check. I'm going to have to return to the ship and talk things out with the officials."

"Ship?" I said again, following behind Fox closely.

He waved his arm at me, "Be gone Sapien! Your work here is complete. Great job helping me defend the galaxy. Or whatever"

"Protect the galaxy in your ship?"

Fox stared for a moment, "Yes… in my ship."

"Can I come on your ship?"

"No, you can't." Again, arid silence passed between us, "Goodbye now Sapien." With that Fox began to walk back to his R-wing. But before he could escape my grasp I interjected.

"Wait! What if I can tell you how to reach the guys who need to pay you?"

With this, Fox turned to me, "You know where they are?"

I nodded, "Yes, I'm a local."

"But I'm going to have to take you on the ship… is that the deal?"

"Yes." I answered with a smile. Fox let out a sigh and shook his head. He paced back and forth, then let out another sigh. "So… what do you say?"

"I'm still thinking it over…"

We both knew what that meant, and soon enough Fox and I were heading towards his ship in his R-wing.