IN THE MEADOW
BY MGA W/ JRR
Once upon a time in the meadows of the Green Grass Kingdom, there lived a mighty princess by the name of Annabeth: The Princess. She was a tender teenager; warm hearted, hot and sassy. But, alas, this warm hearted, hot and sassy teenager had no love. However, her father by the name of Creed: Annabeth's Father, was eager to get his offspring in holy matrimony. So, to complete his task, he scouted across the lands looking for the finest laddies for his little Annabeth: The Princess. Though, he failed to choose one. You see, Annabeth: The Princess had never really been in love. No one has ever really caught her eyes, ya know what I'm sayin' brodda? She gave no regard to those fancay pantsays. She drove her father up the wall, mad, insane, loco, carazay.
Meanwhile at the Black Tree Tempire, there was an unknown force at stir. It was a guy by the name of Bill: The Bad Guy. There he was. Reading that newspaper: The Black Tree Times. All of a sudden, suddenly, oh so suddenly, Jerry: Bill's Assistant rushed into the room.
"What is it, young Jerry: Bill's Assistant?" questioned Bill.
"I have great news for you sire!"
"Well, spit it out then!"
"Annabeth: The Princess: who lives in the meadows of the Green Grass Kingdom is looking for someone to marry!"
"Okay…So how does that affect me?"
"Well boss, this is your chance to achieve all your dreams. If you are successful in marrying Annabeth: The Princess, you will receive all the riches you can imagine!"
Bill: The Bad Guy pondered for a moment.
"YES…YES…YEEEESSSS!" Bill: The Bad Guy yelled, while standing on a table.
You see, Bill: The Bad Guy was quite the bad guy type. He looted, stole, and even took money from almost everyone he knew. Even his mother! (Her name was Pam: Bill's Mother) Bill: The Bad Guy didn't give a goose about love. All he wanted was money as in money as in money, ya know what I'm sayin' brodda? He needed a plan.
He decided to approach the royal palace in a rather dashing manner. This included wearing a number of fancay things which I'm not going to tell you right now. He confronted one of the guards at the palace, requesting for permission to enter. Luckily, the guard was quite foolish and allowed Bill: The Bad Guy into the palace. When Bill: The Bad Guy was finally alone, he began to shake his pants. Out came Jerry: Bill's Assistant.
"Whoa! That was fun!" Jerry: Bill's Assistant exclaimed.
"Shut up." Bill: The Bad Guy replied.
The duo continued to where they saw a line up in front of the main palace chamber. Bill: The Bad Guy could see thousands and thousands of laddies waiting outside of this chamber where they would soon swoon Annabeth: The Princess. This is where Bill: The Bad Guy and Jerry: Bill's Assistant infiltrated number 2 of their 45 step plan. Jerry: Bill's Assistant, oh what a skillful man, then stealthily but powerfully kung fu-ed one of guards without anyone's knowing. He then stripped the guard of his clothes and killed him and ripped him into pieces until he became dust. This was just one of the hundred and twelve ways that Bill: The Bad Guy had taught Jerry: Bill's Assistant how to kill someone stealthily but powerfully without anyone's knowing.
Anyhow, after a quick funeral, Jerry: Bill's Assistant used the clothes he had stripped from the man as a disguise. As you may have heard from before, the lineup in front of the chamber was very lengthy. There was no way in Jose that Bill: The Bad Guy would wait in a line. It's so cliché. This is where step 3 came in. Jerry: Bill's Assistant, while wearing the disguise, went up to the front of the line before of all the laddies. He opened his mouth and said…
"YO GUYS. YOU NEEDA GO NOW. OKAY?"
"Okay…" said the thousands and thousands of laddies.
Once they left, it allowed Bill: The Bad Guy to conduct step 4. He got his game face on, oh yeah, he was ready. Seducing Annabeth: The Princess was gonna be easy as cheesy, uhuh. Bill: The Bad Guy took a deep breath. Wooooooooh. He stepped into his destiny. BUM BUMM. BUUUUUMMMMMM.
There, Bill: The Bad Guy stood. He was motionless. Why? You may ask. Well, because there in front of him was Annabeth: the Princess. Glorious she was. Bill: The Bad Guy felt his heart pounding, camera angles changing, lights dimming, loooooooove sequence.
"Uh…hi." mumbled Bill: the Bad Guy who as unable to speak properly because he was so in love.
"Yeah…hi" replied Annabeth: the Princess.
Bill: the Bad Guy needed to focus. He had to look away from that goddess in order to complete his plan. But, he was so unable to. Annabeth: the Princess was just oh so dazzling. He was getting pulled by this unknown force towards her. She just looked at him as he approached her.
"GUAAAARRRRDDDDDS!" she yelled.
You could hear the guards surrounding in the hundreds. You could say that every guard in the castle showed up, except for Jerry: Bill's Assistant because he was in the washroom. Bill: the Bad Guy quickly came to his senses and barricaded the door with the chair. Jerry: Bill's Assistant sensed danger while wiping his butt and quickly flushed himself in the toilet into the secret passageway to go back to Bill: the Bad Guy's pants.
Meanwhile, up north, Bill: the Bad Guy tried to calm down the princess.
"Wait! I'm not gonna rape you."
"Okay…fine" replied Annabeth: the Princess. She then sent the guards away except for Jerry: Bill's assistant because he was still in Bill: the Bad Guy's pants.
"So, what do you want?" questioned Annabeth: the Princess.
"Silent coyote." replied Bill: the Bad Guy with a sheepish grin as he began to shake his pants again. *jiggle jiggle*
Out came Jerry: Bill's assistant.
Stealthily but powerfully, Bill: the Bad Guy plus Jerry: Bill's Assistant kung fu-ed their way towards Annabeth: The Princess. The two pulled out their sleeping bags and stuffed Annabeth: The Princess into them. Bill: The Bad Guy and Jerry: Bill's Assistant then karate-chopped open the window and used it as an escape route. The threesome then travelled across Mexico, India and England to get back to the Black Tree Tempire. When they were home, Jerry: Bill's Assistant emptied Annabeth: the Princess onto the ground
"What do you want from me?" Annabeth: The Princess moaned.
This realized fool, Bill: The Bad Guy just gazed at Annabeth: the Princess all that time. He took his game face off so he could put it back on.
"I am going to tie the knot with you, ya know what I'm sayin' brodda?" Bill: The Bad Guy said.
"Oh I know whatcha sayin' brodda. /wink/" replied Annabeth: The Princess. "But still…"
Moments later, The Black Tree Tempire turned into a fabulous wedding hall. All thanks to Jerry: Bill's Assistant. You see, Jerry: Bill's Assistant's second dream was to become a wedding planner, so, he had some experience in this area. All around, one could see thousands and thousands of doves flying around, thousands and thousands of fountains surrounding the room and thousands and thousands of Hello Panda boxes. How divine. However, there was one flaw to Jerry: Bill's Assistant's plan; he forgot to invite the guests. So, in the end, it ended up just being the threesome; Jerry: Bill's Assistant, Bill: The Bad Guy and Annabeth: The Princess. The wedding went very well though. And that's what counts.
On the honey moon, the threesome; Jerry: Bill's Assistant, Bill: The Bad Guy and Annabeth: The Princess minus Jerry: Bill's Assistant, had a wonderful time. They went to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Ah, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, what a place I tell you. The camels, the fresh fruit, the glistening sun, the glistening moon. Oh yeah babay. In fact, Bill: The Bad Guy and Annabeth: The Princess bonded quite a lot. When they returned, Jerry: Bill's Assistant greeted them with warm arms. No, I'm serious. He actually put his arms in the microwave for forty five seconds just before the two came to ensure quality warm arm-ness.
"Hey, you guys tanned. Like you are seriously almost black!" stated Jerry: Bill's Assistant: Bill: The Bad Guy's Assistant.
"It's just the lighting, you see?" replied Bill: The Bad Guy. They all looked up and saw Satan flying above, causing a shadow amongst them.
Later, the threesome enjoyed some nice jasmine lotus green tea with bread. Because nothing goes better with tea than some bread. However, an unknown force was at stir. All of a sudden, suddenly, oh so suddenly, BOOM. The doors swooped open and in came a huge army of men who snatched Annabeth: The Princess and Jerry: Bill's Assistant just like that.
TWO DAYS LATER
Bill: The Bad Guy opened his eyes to see what he saw before he saw it. But, it wasn't there. The room was empty, bare, clear, evacuated, god forsaken, abandoned, loco, void, vacated, left alone, hollow, lacking, omitted. In other words, Bill: The Bad Guy was by himself. He was lying down in an unknown shack. He then recalled his last memory that he remembered.
*flashback*
Bill: The Bad Guy sees Annabeth: The Princess and Jerry: Bill's Assistant being taken away by an army just before a blackout.
*unflashback*
"I gotta go save them. It's my destiny." Bill: The Bad Guy said to himself.
He then got up, brushed off the cobwebs, looked at the door, walked towards it, raised his hand, turned the knob, and walked out of the shack. Scary stuff. Bill: The Bad but Good Guy found himself in a forest full of trees and grasses and butterflies OH MY. But there was no time for dilly dallying, for he had a mission to do. He stealthily but powerfully kung fu-ed his way to the Green Grass Kingdom's Palace where he believed Annabeth: The Princess and Jerry: Bill's Assistant were to be. He slithered past the guards and first headed to the prison room where he believed Jerry: Bill's Assistant was to be. Bill: The Bad but Good Guy believed that Jerry: Bill's Assistant would be able to assist him in successfully rescuing Annabeth: The Princess heroically.
Having arrived at the main prison doors, Bill: The Bad but Good Guy now just had to enter the prison chambers and find Jerry: Bill's Assistant. To do this, Bill: The Bad but Good Guy took out his invisibility cloak that he had purchased from the dollar store just a few weeks before his wedding.
"And Jerry: Bill's Assistant said it was a waste of money." Bill: The Bad but Good Guy snickered to himself.
Silly Jerry: Bill's Assistant, indeed. Bill: The Bad but Good Guy put on the cloak and turned invisible just like that. He snuck past the guards with ease. It was like milking a cow on a hot summer day. After eleven minutes of intense searching, Bill: The Bad but Good Guy found him. Oh him, oh Jerry: Bill's Assistant. Bill: The Bad but Good Guy kung fu-ed the prison bars into dust.
"Oh Bill: The Bad but Good Guy!" yelled Jerry: Bill's Assistant.
"Oh Jerry: Bill's Assistant!" yelled Bill: The Bad but Good Guy.
The two men hugged. Oh what a sight. Anyone who saw them would think they were gay. But that's another tale for another time. The duo stealthily but powerfully kung fu-ed their way to the main palace chamber where they believed Annabeth: The Princess was to be. Just before they entered, their footsteps were stopped by voices on the other side of the door.
"Why can't I be with him?" questioned a voice that sounded an awful like Annabeth: The Princess's.
"Because he is not a fancay pantsay." replied a voice that sounded an awful lot like Creed: Annabeth's Father's.
Bill: The Bad but Good Guy shuddered. He knew those voices. It was Annabeth: The Princess and Creed: Annabeth's Father. He and Jerry: Bill's Assistant continued listening.
"But I love him!" she yelled.
"OMG. I'm sorry. I didn't know that. You can be with him then." replied Creed: Annabeth's Father.
Sounds of footsteps leaving the room were heard, and the room got quiet. The two men had tears in their eyes.
"*sniffle* You go get her, tiger. *sniffle*" said Jerry: Bill's Assistant.
"*sniffle* O *sniffle* K" replied Bill: The Bad but Good Guy.
Bill: The Bad but Good Guy braced himself. He wiped his tears and entered the room. CRRRREEEEEEEEKKKKKK, went the door. Annabeth: The Princess turned around and saw Bill: The Bad but Good Guy.
"Who ARE you?" she asked.
Bill: The Bad but Good Guy sheepishly smiled as he removed his ascot, his blonde wig, linen neck cozy and metal eye. Annabeth: The Princess gasped. She felt her heart pounding, camera angles changing, lights dimming, loooooooove sequence.
"Bill: The Bad but Goo-" she was cut off.
He put his fingers over her lips. (LOL)
"Shhhhh" he whispered.
The magic of meadows will never cease to amaze us. Annabeth: The Princess and Bill: The Bad but Good Guy looked into each others eyes.
They hugged.