A/N: I Do not own Phoenix Wright or Miles Edgeworth; they belong to CAPCOM. The ridiculously silly plot, however, is mine. The inspiration is from nimpnawakproduction in a conversation we had on Tumblr when I asked her about Miles' clothing. The Mafia/Baker AU comics that this is based on is also by nimpnawakproduction.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Miles has weapons hidden all over his body under his clothing and, one time when they were in the midst of a passionate embrace, Phoenix keeps coming into contact with weapons and pulls them out of everywhere.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For Nim.

Ridiculous silliness. :D Hope you like it, Nim, and thanks for the inspiration! :)

Not beta read.

Thanks to my readers and all those who have favourited, reviewed, story alerted, favourite author or author alerted me. I appreciate it more than I can say! :)

EXTRA EXTRA Special thanks to my beloved husband, DezoPenguin, for all his help, support, advice, the title, nagging (when necessary) and encouragement! I appreciate it more than I can say! Love you!

Comments are appreciated and constructive criticism is welcomed. I will probably change some things at some point; always room for improvement!

Rated Teen, male/male relationships, Humour, Phoenix x Edgeworth, Mafia/Baker AU, Alternate Universe

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

July 16th
Miles Edgeworth's Office
Upper West Side
Chicago, Illinois
7 P.M.

Miles pulled Phoenix close to him, a smug grin on his face as his hungry mouth pressed hard against the baker's, his arms wrapping around him and holding him close.

He'd had a hard day. Being the Mafia don of a large area such as Chicago could be very stressful dealing with both his allies and enemies alike and making sure his business interests were being taken care of properly. He'd been looking forward to Phoenix's coming to his office with great enthusiasm; in his arms, he could lose himself for a few hours and forget all about the stresses and pressures of the day and simply enjoy his lover's presence.

He often wondered, before he'd met the handsome baker, how he had managed to make it through his life as he had. Up until eight months ago, he hadn't allowed anyone to really get close to him-he wasn't a complete fool, after all, and someone in his position didn't have the luxury of unblinking, blind trust-but there was something… pure… and honest about Phoenix.

He was like an open book emotionally and Miles, having learned to be able to correctly read a person's body language, could easily see his mettle and this enabled him to get over his initial reluctance relatively quickly. Now, holding him and kissing him passionately, and with the baker responding quite eagerly to his embraces, he made up for lost time.

He could feel Phoenix's hands wandering about his body freely with teasing, feather-like caresses and he moaned softly against his mouth, his heart beating faster. So lost was he in the deep, wet kiss that he lost track of the big picture and the first indication he had that something was amiss was when Phoenix pulled away from him, his face creased in confusion.

"What… is it?" Miles asked breathlessly, his eyes half closed in pleasure, his lips puffy and wet.

"I…I'm not sure," Phoenix replied hesitantly, "but it feels like there's something weird in your… clothes."

"My… clothes?" Miles repeated, not following.

Phoenix ran his hands over Miles' back and plucked a weapon from within a hidden panel and put it down on the desk beside him. He did this a few times until there was a small cache of assorted guns, pistols, brass knuckles and knives of every description lying in an untidy heap on the left hand corner.

Miles' face was beet red by the time he finished although he didn't release Phoenix, wondering how on earth he was going to explain this.

"Phoenix, I-" he began but he was saved the trouble when Phoenix pressed hard against him, a smirk on his lips as he looked down.

Miles couldn't help but wonder what what it was that he was staring at since he couldn't really think clearly at this point and still wasn't sure exactly how he was going to explain the cache of weapons that lay on the corner of his desk to his lover.

It took him a few minutes before he realized just where it was that Phoenix was looking at... and why.

His face flushed even redder. Oh…

"Is that a handgun in your pants or are you just happy to see me, Miles?" Phoenix's voice was downright playful as his hand started to descend but Miles beat him to it and, with a very sheepish look, pulled out a small handgun from the flap slightly to the left of his zipper.

~FIN~