Tanya and Rosie unpacked, two big Louis Vuitton suitcases to one small wheelie from Argos. They mulled over their options for the big day.

'What shall I wear?' Tanya mused as she spread out a variety of different garments. She could never make up her mind and had brought many options. Rosie had no such room and indeed, no such choice, looked over at her and considered it.

'Underwear would be good.'

Tanya pretended to look scandalised. 'I do wear underwear.'

Rosie snorted, remembering last time. She reminded Tanya of the last party they went to where Tanya had disgraced herself.

'So I don't always wear underwear but when I do…' concluded Tanya, shamelessly.

'It's tiny' finished Rosie. The never ending story of how Tanya was allergic to most forms of underwear was a constant course of amusement over the years.

'No VPL for me' she declared. 'What about this?'

She held up a fuchsia mini dress.

Rosie shook her head. No and no to the short canary yellow split hem dress and the leopard print monstrosity. The orange sheath dress went in the maybe pile.

'What are you wearing?' Tanya asked, still debating.

'Not sure.'

'Don't tell me you've not brought an outfit?'

'Well. I've brought something. Or a few things. Not sure.'

'You can't borrow anything of mine. Designer sizes run small' warned Tanya.

'Oh dear. I'll have to go naked' said Rosie with a smirk. They laughed at the thought of a nudist wedding. She'd thrown a few bits and pieces at the bottom of her suitcase before she left. Delving into her limited offerings, she spotted something that would make Tanya choke. Grinning evilly she took out the man-size pair of camo print cargo shorts and flapped them gleefully in Tanya's face who spluttered with incomprehension. Mission accomplished.

'Oh you must be joking!'

Rosie looked at her incredulously. 'As if.'

'Even so, I wouldn't be seen with you wearing that. Chuck it.'

Rosie complied, slinging it over the bathroom door. She couldn't remember where it was from anyway.

'Did you get it from your last boyfriend?' Sniffed Tanya. Her fellow dynamo lacked all sense of style.

'Quite possibly.' Rosie thought about it. It had been a while. 'When was that again?'

They cackled at her misfortune. Rosie found fault with most men, always running for the hills as soon as they suggested matrimony and babies. She couldn't imagine anything duller than living the suburban life.

'Loser. I'd be bouncing off the walls by now.'

Rosie looked at her thrice married mate. 'Most of us have considerably more restraint than you Tanya' she teased. Tanya tossed her head in agreement.

'Totally overrated' she stated. Tanya didn't believe in being virtuous. What was the point when you only had one life to live? She knew Rosie wasn't being virtuous; she just didn't want to settle down. Tanya preferred the hunt and chase of a man with money.

'Spotted your new husband yet?' Rosie asked, wondering who the unlucky man her friend was fixating on for this trip.

'I'm working on it. Not many promising men around here.' Tanya considered her limited choices.

'It's probably not the season for Greek millionaires. Maybe you'll meet one this weekend' suggested Rosie without conviction.

'If Donna knew of a millionaire, she'd be married to him by now' observed Tanya. Rosie wasn't so sure.