This story takes place after Lily is reunited with her mother. Emma tells Hook she loves him and Regina has Robin, but Gold is still the Dark One. Don't worry, it will be SwanQueen.
What the Heart Wants
Ch1
The cooler weather made for a perfect night to make her rounds with the windows rolled down. The stereo was on, but down low. She had it on more for background noise than anything. Emma cruised the streets of Storybrooke. She was doing her last rounds of the evening before heading back to the station to finish up her daily reports.
The last few months had been crazy. Cruella was dead, Ursula had returned to the sea with her father, and Maleficent had her daughter back. Of course, there was the whole author thing. A spell had been placed on Gold's heart to keep him alive until they could find another way to save him. Henry had broken the quill, so now everything seemed to be going back to normal for everyone. For everyone except Emma.
Emma had told Killian that she loved him. The truth was she did, to a certain degree. The problem was that it wasn't the same way that he loved her, but she couldn't tell him that. Hell, she couldn't tell anyone that. Killian wanted more from their relationship than she was willing to give. The blonde took all of the extra hours at the station. She did everything she could to work the late shifts just to have an excuse not see the pirate.
This plan also had some drawbacks. She never had time to do what she wanted to do. She also wasn't able to see her parents or Henry very much, so the teen spent more time at Regina's. The blonde wasn't sure what was wrong with her. She did know that ever since they got back from the twisted storybook plot, she felt differently.
Emma had been so deep in thought that she hadn't noticed she stopped in front of the Mayor's house. When she looked up and realized where she was, she gasped. What in the hell was wrong with her? The downstairs lights were on and the Sheriff looked down at the clock on the radio. She knew that the 'completed' family inside had just finished dinner. They were probably going into the family room to watch TV before bed. That's what she, Regina, and Henry would do when she had come over for dinner in the past.
Through the window, she could see Robin, laughing with Henry and Roland over something. They looked genuinely happy, and part of her wanted to smile at that, but another part refused to let her. She watched as Henry moved his arms as he talked to show whatever it was he was explaining. After a few minutes, she could feel herself frown. Regina had not appeared in the window yet. The blonde shrugged, maybe she was doing the dishes or something.
"Good evening Sheriff." Regina's voice rang out in the blonde's ear, causing her to jump. She whipped her head to the opposite side of the car where the Mayor stood.
"Hey Regina, I was just," She paused for a second. She had no idea what she was doing here, but she recovered quickly, "Swinging by to check on Henry."
Regina raised an eyebrow, "Why didn't you come to the door?"
Emma let out a choked chuckle, "I didn't want to interrupt. I was doing my last rounds for the night and thought I would stop by."
Regina smiled, "You are welcome to come in Emma, and Henry would love to see you."
Emma looked back towards the house and could see Robin still laughing. She turned back to Regina, "Nah, that's okay. I have some paperwork I need to get done. Maybe some other time."
Regina leaned in closer, "Why are you working so many hours? I made sure you had extra deputies. You shouldn't be killing yourself, Miss Swan, and besides, Henry misses you."
Emma gave a tight-lipped smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I miss him too, but I still have to break the new guys in, so it'll be just a bit longer."
The Mayor crossed her arms over her chest as a cold burst of wind whipped past, "Is everything all right?"
The Sheriff peered into the brown eyes that looked back at her, "Yeah, everything is fine, just busy." She shifted in her seat and moved the gear shift into drive, "I'll see you later." She gave an elaborate attempt at a smile, but it still felt forced, even to her.
Regina stood up straight to be sure she was out of the way and smiled. Emma could see in her face that she wanted to push the conversation for more information. The Sheriff had nothing more to offer now. She hadn't expected getting caught being there, nor was she sure why she had gone there, to begin with.
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Regina watched the police car drive away. She could tell Emma was hiding something. She could always tell when the blonde was lying. She had thought the two of them had become very close in the last few months. Come to think of it, Regina was pretty sure that Emma was her only friend in town.
The brunette glanced up at the house and could see the view Emma had seen. Robin, Henry, and Roland were all laid out on the couch smiling at one another. Henry picked up a pillow and tossed it at the older man who in turn, grabbed the teen, tickling him.
Had Emma been jealous of Robin's and Henry's relationship? She rubbed her forehead with her hand. Something was definitely wrong with the sheriff, and she needed to find out what. She wouldn't be a friend if she didn't, or at least that is what she thought a friend would do. The Mayor wasn't entirely sure because she hadn't had many friends in her life.
She walked back into the house closing the door behind her and hanging up her coat on the hook. Regina started to join the guys in the family room, but instead, she walked back into the kitchen. Her phone was lying on the island so she picked it up. She texted the Sheriff, 'I know something is wrong. Why won't you tell me what it is?'
The phone beeped and it was Emma with a response, 'I'm fine Regina.'
The brunette sighed heavily, 'I thought we were friends.'
'We are.' Emma replied.
'Then why do you keep lying to me? Friends tell each other things,' Regina said.
'I've just had a lot on my mind, but nothing is wrong,' the blonde texted back.
Regina sighed again, 'Are there pirate troubles?' She asked, glad Emma wasn't there to see her roll her eyes at the thought of the man in makeup.
Emma took longer to respond this time. The Mayor wasn't sure if that was an indication of what was wrong or if the blonde was busy doing something else. The phone beeped, 'Everything is fine.'
Regina was growing irritated. She wanted to go down to the station right now and give Emma a piece of her mind. She may not know all the things friends do and say to one another, but she was pretty sure that lying was not one of them. She looked at the clock on the microwave and realized it was time for the boys to go to sleep. Before heading into the other room, she sent Emma, 'Fine, don't tell me, Miss. Swan, I will let it go for the night, but you will talk to me about it soon.'
Emma didn't respond, not even with a smart-ass comment like she would normally do. That just validated that there was indeed something wrong with the Sheriff. The brunette shook her head slowly on her way to direct the boys to bed.
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The Sheriff raised her head from the desk. She realized the pain in her back, neck, and shoulders that she had fallen asleep at the station again. She stretched her arms above her head as she attempted to straighten her back. The blonde really needed to stop falling asleep like this.
"Em? What are you doing here?" David asked as he rounded the corner.
Emma stood up, pushing her chair back, "I work here dad." She said, not meaning for it to sound as sarcastic as it did.
David sat his lunch down on the desk. He slipped his jacket off and hung it on the back of his chair. "I was supposed to be relieving Ruby this morning, but instead, I find you, again."
Emma didn't answer. She pulled out the drawer on her desk and grabbed her toothbrush. She started towards the bathroom. She wasn't in the mood to listen to some lecture about how she needed to take better care of herself.
"Emma, you really need to go home and get some sleep. Your mother and I are worried about you, and you are driving your poor boyfriend mad. Did something happen between you two?" He called after her.
The Sheriff brushed her teeth quickly, and then returned back to her desk. Her father's eyes on her every move, "Look, I am fine. I'm just working through some stuff and need time away from him."
David smiled, "I see. You know, you might want to start getting better sleep if you plan to work through anything."
Emma ignored his comment, "I'm going over to the diner for coffee, you want me to bring you back anything?"
He frowned, "No I'm good, thanks."
The blonde nodded, grabbed her jacket off the back of the chair, then she disappeared out the door. She still had trouble sleeping after they came back from their alternate reality. Emma found it hard to look at Mary Margret at times. When they were inside the book, she remembered how the other woman treated her. She knew it wasn't real, but she had trouble convincing her mind that at times.
It had been a couple of days since she found herself parked in front of the Mayor's mansion. Emma had ignored four phone calls from Regina, and two texts. She hadn't even bothered to listen to the voicemails the brunette had left.
Emma wasn't upset with the Mayor. She just didn't want to have to answer her questions. The blonde wasn't sure as to what was the matter. She was afraid of what might come out of her mouth if she attempted to put everything into words.
Still deep in thought, she opened the door to the diner and walked in. She felt like she was in a haze, which was probably true because she hadn't slept well in the last couple of days. Months really. She failed to see the table where Regina, Robin, Roland, and Henry were having breakfast.
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The bell over the diner door rang, causing Regina to look up from her plate. She watched almost in horror as Emma walked in. She had dark circles under her eyes. She looked as though she were wearing the same clothes she had worn two nights ago.
Robin and Henry sat across from Regina and Roland, with their backs to the door. The Archer had been talking to the boys about a guy's weekend in the woods tonight and the Mayor had no interest. She had pretended to be excited for the boy's sake, but she was looking forward to a weekend without them.
Regina watched as Granny passed the blonde a hot cup of coffee. The old woman smiled at something Emma said, and then the blonde turned and headed for the exit.
"I'll be right back." The Queen said to Robin. He smiled and then continued to talk to the boys about what they were going to be doing on their camping trip.
Regina stood and followed the Sheriff outside. Walking faster she caught up to the younger woman and gently grabbed her elbow, "Emma?"
Emma whirled around spilling some of her coffee on her hand, "Shit." She hissed as the hot liquid dripped from her palm.
"Oh god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." The Mayor apologized.
The blonde wiped her hand off on her jeans, "It's okay, I've got another hand."
Regina narrowed her eyes, "Are you upset with me?"
Emma looked confused, "What? No, I've just been busy."
"So busy you couldn't even answer my calls," the Mayor asked, taking a closer looking at the blonde's face. She could see a strange sadness in her eyes, which made the Queen frown.
Before Emma could respond, Killian's voice called, as he walked closer, "Swan? Where have you been? I have been looking everywhere for you."
Regina was always annoyed when in the presence of the pirate. Yet she swore she heard an annoyed sigh escape the blonde's lips as well. The Queen didn't say anything. She just watched the Sheriff's features.
"Sorry Killian, I got caught up at work," Emma said not looking at the pirate.
"Your father said you slept at the station again, is that true?" Concern was plastered on Hook's face.
The brunette watched the younger woman clench her jaw. She remained quiet while the pirate continued, "You need to go home and get some sleep Swan. You don't look like yourself." He turned towards Regina and scowled, "What the hell is so important that you have her working these hours. This is bloody madness."
Regina's eyes widened and she looked at Emma. The blonde's eyes were almost pleading with her. She turned back to Hook, "She is the Sheriff of this town and the Savior, so her first concern is for the people. That sometimes includes long hours." She didn't exactly know what to say, but she knew Emma was trying to get the pirate to go away.
Hook grabbed Emma by the arm and glared at the Mayor, "Get someone else, your majesty." He yanked the blonde's arm so she would follow him.
The blonde jerked her arm free, "Get your hand off of me."
"Emma you need to go home and rest," He said softening his features.
"You don't own me Killian, and if you ever put your hand on me again, you will lose it like you did the other one," Emma growled before storming off.
Regina was a little dumbfounded. She would never have thought that Emma would threaten her precious pirate. She did say in front of everyone that she loved him. She couldn't do anything but watch the sheriff walk away.
"What the hell was that about?" Hook asked more to himself, causing the queen to look at him.
"Maybe if you learned to keep your filthy hand to yourself, you might not come across so repulsive. Then again, that's open for debate." Regina sneered as she turned to walk back into the diner.
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Emma went to the station. After a long argument with her father, he finally agreed to let her stay. Of course, with the condition, she took a nap on one of the cots. She thought at first that she would never fall asleep, but after a while, she fell into a restful slumber.
She opened her eyes to her father tapping her lightly on the shoulder.
"Hey Em, I'm about to head home, are you coming?"
She rubbed her eyes and looked up to the window noticing the sun was going down, "What time is it?"
David smiled, "It's almost seven."
Emma sat up swinging her feet over the edge of the cot, "Why did you let me sleep for so long?"
Her father laughed, "Because you needed it Em. Are you coming home with me?"
Emma sighed, "No, I'm umm, gonna stay here for a while."
"All right, but you are going to have to talk about what's going on some time. You can't keep going like this and you can't keep ignoring Hook." He said standing up.
She looked up at him, "I talked to him today."
Her father raised his eyebrow, "Threatening him doesn't count Em."
She stood up and walked passed him, "I don't want to talk about it right now."
David nodded and walked away. She knew she was taking whatever this was out on everyone, but she couldn't help it. She felt like she was someone else now, and everything had changed. The more she thought about Hook, the more she realized her feelings were far from the same as his.
She heard the front door open and then close, within seconds it opened again. She called out, walking to her desk, "Did you forget something dad?"
When she looked up, she saw that Regina had come in carrying a couple of paper bags, "Not your father. Although I did pass him on my way in."
Emma smiled, but then she let it fall, "What are you doing here?"
Regina avoided eye contact for a moment as she placed the bags down on the desk, "Well, I thought I would bring dinner."
Emma watched the woman pull two Styrofoam containers from one of the bags. She did consider Regina a friend, but it wasn't often that she was on the receiving end of the Queen's gift giving.
"Where's Robin?" The Sheriff asked.
The Mayor looked up, feeling a little nervous about telling her that their son and Robin were bonding. "He took the boys camping for the weekend."
There was a slight sinking feeling in the blonde's heart at the fact that Henry liked the Archer so much. She really was glad that the Queen had gotten her happy ending. Yet, there was an irrational sadness she felt when she thought of Robin in the mansion. It was almost like he had taken her family from her.
"Oh," Emma said calmly looking anywhere but at Regina.
The Mayor slid one of the containers towards the blonde, "Grilled cheese and fries."
Emma smiled briefly, "Thank you."
Regina smiled back, "You're welcome."
Emma sat down behind her desk as Regina pulled up a chair in front. The blonde wasn't really hungry. She figured she would force herself to eat the food that Regina had so generously brought.
The entire meal went by in awkward silence. Emma wanted to talk to the other woman, but she didn't know what to say. She didn't completely understand why she was so jealous of Robin, or why she no longer wanted to be with Hook.
After throwing away the containers, Regina grabbed the other bag. She pulled out a bottle of apple cider, "I thought maybe you could use a drink."
Emma eyed her with suspicion, "I could totally use a drink, but I don't think your apple cider is going to do the trick."
A large smile crossed the Mayor's lips, "This is a very special batch, Miss Swan. It holds a mean punch."
Emma raised an eyebrow, "Really?"
Regina produced two glasses from the bag and filled them with the amber colored liquid. She passed one to the Sheriff, "It's potent so beware."
Emma smirked, throwing all the contents of her glass into her mouth and swallowing. She then pushed the empty glass back to the mayor to fill it again. "I have a pretty high tolerance when it comes to alcohol."
Regina smiled, "We will see about that." She filled the glass and handed back.
After a few glasses, Emma was starting to feel the effects. Her face was tingling and she was feeling a lot more relaxed.
"What is going on with you and Hook?" Regina asked. By the glassy look in her eye, she knew the alcohol was working.
Emma waited for the mayor to fill her glass again and then said, "I think we have been spending too much time together."
Regina hummed into her glass. She lowered it slightly to ask, "I thought that's what you wanted, to spend more time with the pirate?"
Emma took another drink from her glass, "I thought that too, but I don't know."
Regina let a few moments of silence pass before asking, "So, what happened that made you so unsure?"
The Sheriff stood up and started collecting her trash. She was suddenly feeling like she wanted to tell the older woman everything. At the same time, she wasn't sure herself.
She sighed, "I don't know. He told me that he loved me before we got sucked into that book. When I saw him die by my mother's hand I didn't want" She paused as she threw her trash into the bin, "I didn't want to be alone."
Regina furrowed her brows, "I don't understand. Are you saying you only told the pirate you loved him because you didn't want to be alone?"
Emma turned and looked out the window, the sun had disappeared and the street lights had come on, "Yes. No? I don't know."
The Queen stood and walked towards the window, "Emma, you can talk to me. I promise I won't judge you, just tell me what is going on."
The blonde continued facing the window. "Everything has been so," She struggled to find the words, "Different since we all got back."
Regina remained quiet and watched Emma walk back to the desk to take another gulp of her drink. She walked up to Regina, "It's you."
"It's me what, dear," Regina asked in confusion?
Emma let her eyes scan the queen's features and then said, "Forget it." She choked out a chuckle and walked back to the desk to pour another drink.
Regina rubbed her forehead, "No, tell me what you mean." She followed the blonde.
The sheriff filled her glass to the brim, and then chugged it all. She turned to face the Queen again, "You are all that I think about, well you and Henry. I miss how things were before, and now everything has changed. Robin has 'completed' your family, and Henry couldn't seem happier."
Regina watched the blonde's face as she spoke. She didn't understand what the problem was. She missed hanging out with Emma too, but it was the Sheriff who pulled away. She still invited her to dinners and other functions, but she continues to give excuses. The mayor had been partly right about the younger woman being jealous, but there seemed to be more to it. Before she knew what was happening, Emma leaned in and pressed her lips to Regina's.
Emma could feel the mayor stiffen and she pulled back, "I'm sorry."
Regina's eyes were wide, but now her head was swimming. She finally understood what the blonde had been trying to tell her. She took a couple of steps back and placed her fingers where the blonde's lips had been. "Emma, I," She couldn't find the words, so instead she bolted for the door.