Pregnant
Since his parents left to eat at a restaurant, his sisters and brothers were out, and Hunter was on a date, me and Josh had the whole house to ourselves. We decided to go out to dinner first, then use an empty house the way it should be used, if you see what I'm getting at.
Josh took me to a nice, lowly-light Italian restaurant on the western side of the city. The waiter took our coats and sat us immediately at an exclusive, two-seated table and handed us our menus.
"Well, this is nice," I said, looking around at the mahogany paint and modern art that ornamented the walls.
"Yeah, this was our favorite restaurant to go to when I was growing up," he informed me as me looked around sentimentally. I liked the fact that he brought me here, it's almost like he considers me a part of the family. And who knows, maybe some day I will be.
"You have good taste," I told him with a flirty smile.
He looked me up and down, and the appreciation was evident in his eyes. "Don't I know it," he replied with a grin. I smiled and down at my menu with a blush, when suddenly I heard a beep from my phone.
I fumbled through my purse for it, and when I found it, 1 NEW MESSAGE FROM NOELLE LANGE was flashing on the screen. Well color me curious. When I opened it up, this was what I saw:
Omg, did you hear the news? Poison Ivy is totally preggo! And if you don't believe me, the proof is in the pic.
My heart practically stopped. She couldn't be serious, Ivy Slade was pregnant? I didn't want to believe it, but Noelle wasn't kidding about the proof bit. I pressed the screen on the thumbnail and got a picture of Ivy Slade crossing the street. It wasn't anything out of the norm really, except for the fact she was sporting a baby bump where her usually thin waist was.
"Holy crap," I said out loud, and literally loud, since most of the people sitting near us turned to stare. I didn't care though, the situation on my phone was a little more distracting.
"What is it?" Josh asked, understandably alarmed. Not trusting my voice, I showed him the picture on my phone. I don't think he really got it at first, but then his eyes widened and he seemed to pale a little.
"Oh my god," escaped his lips in a hoarse whisper. I pressed the respond button and typed out:
Do they know who the father is?
I know, I know, its really none of my business. But what if its.. what if its.. God, I couldn't even think it to myself. Because if its somehow Josh's, then everything will change. I don't think we could be together anymore. My hands trembled a little and it seemed to take an infinity before my phone beeped again in response.
Apparently undetermined, but don't worry, I doubt its Boy Scout's ;-p
It didn't surprise me that she knew the motive for that question (I mean, this was Noelle Lange we were talking about), but it was the "undetermined" part that got to me. It couldn't be his, it just couldn't. It was probably Gage's. I told myself to calm down, and I turned on the logical side of my brain. OK, so when was the last time I saw Ivy? It was three days ago, when we got let out for spring break. She sure didn't look pregnant, but then again, she has been wearing baggy shirts lately, and she was eating a lot. She's somehow been sneaking under the radar all this time, but she's finally gotten caught. Judging on the picture, she had to be at least a month pregnant. I thought back.. her and Josh were dating up until around the middle of February, and now it's March 23rd.. it wasn't much of a stretch.
"What's it say?" a voice asked suddenly. I looked up, and saw Josh looking at me with concern knitting his eyebrows. Wow, I had completely forgotten he was here. Hell, I'd forgotten where I was; how tonight was suppose to be a nice outing for us alone. All I could concentrate on now was how life changing this could possibly be.
"Noelle said apparently the father is undetermined," I said softly.
"Oh," was all Josh could say. We just stared at each other for a while, as if daring each other to be the one to ask the inevitable. Was Ivy pregnant with Josh's baby, or not? Well, I wasn't exactly going to ask Josh if he had sex with Ivy and forgot to put a condom on, so I guess this was his confession time if he had anything to tell me.
"So, what do you feel like getting?" Josh asked putting up his menu. I guess the conversation topic had officially been changed. It carried on like that for the rest of dinner, we talked about safe subjects like school, family, and friends, but we never even tiptoed near the line of Ivy's current state. I knew it was because we were both scared that by venturing into that, we would ruin the evening, or even worse, ruin what we had going. Because I knew Josh; he always did the right thing, and if this was his, he would leave me for her. Again. So it wasn't until the car ride home that we really discussed anything.
We were half-heartedly listening to the latest Pink song when he suddenly turned the knob down to mute. "Reed, we need to talk."
"OK," I said, knowing there was no more putting this off.
"When you heard about Ivy.. I knew what you were thinking. You think I might be the father," he said in a tone that wasn't mad, but wasn't exactly happy either.
"Well you guys were together up until about a month ago, and she does look a month pregnant.." I trailed off, staring out the window.
"But that doesn't mean I got her pregnant!" he snapped at me. That pissed me off; he was acting like I was at fault here.
"Did you sleep with her, Josh?" I practically spat, turning to face him. He didn't reply, just turned his head towards the road and continued to drive. But before he turned away, I saw something in his eyes, something along the lines of regret. I let out a bitter laugh.
"You did, didn't you?" I questioned accusingly, but I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer.
He looked down at his steering wheel. "It was a long time ago," he said quietly, as if that would lessen the blow. It didn't stop the tears from blurring my vision. I quickly looked out the window, and swallowed hard, hoping that would help me swallow down the pain. It didn't. Josh and Ivy had sex. Sex. They dated what, three months? We never even did that, and we dated for over a year. I know this wasn't true, but it feel like Josh stayed with me only because he wanted to get something, and when he didn't get it, he went with a girl he knew would put out. I feel like I've been used by a guy I thought loved me. And it hurt like hell.
"When?" I finally asked, still avoiding his glance by looking out the window. Of course my voice cracked, so it was obvious I was crying. I wiped my face; I didn't want him to see me like this.
"It was over Thanksgiving break. She came to my house to meet my family, and we were alone in my room. I don't know, it just happened. It didn't mean anything," Josh said in a rush. Over Thanksgiving break. The break after I was completely humiliated because Sabine sent a video of me and Dash at the Legacy to everyone's phones. He slept with Ivy after that. Didn't I mean anything to him?
"Thanksgiving break?" I asked angrily, finally turning to face him. "That was what, a couple weeks after you dumped me?". He had such a look of guilt and remorse, I almost stopped pressing this subject. But then I pictured the two of them together, and I was back to where I started. "Why would you do that?".
All the sudden his eyes went from pleading to flashing. "Oh, like you've never slept with anyone else?". His accusation stung. I hated the way he said that, like its so ridiculous to even consider I was still a virgin. It made me sound cheap. "You had sex with Thomas, didn't you?". I chose not to answer that. "And what about that Upton guy?".
"What about Upton?" I snapped, not liking where this was going.
"Gage told me you guys totally did it," he said, and it shocked me he could actually use something Gage said against me. Josh told me Gage gossiped like a girl, so why the hell was he listening?
"Well we didn't. Unlike somebody I know, I don't have sex with someone I've only known for a week!". I know, I know. That wasn't particularly nice, but hey, he started this.
"And you never even considered it?" he asked dubiously. Shit. OK, there's no way he's going to know the truth. I did not want him to prove his point on this one; that he's not the only one who'll give it away easily.
"No," I said going for an offended tone, but of course my voice faltered anyway. Shit, shit, shit!
"Convincing," he muttered sarcastically. "Reed, I was honest with you, so just be honest with me here."
"Fine!" I said, slapping my hands on my lap. "I almost did twice, but I never did." His expression remained blank, but his eyes betrayed him; they showed nothing but hurt.
"What stopped you?" he asked in a bitter voice.
"Well, the first time we were on a boat, and we were interrupted by Daniel and Paige Ryan's mother and another girl named Poppy. The funny thing is, Upton lost his virginity to Mrs. Ryan way back when, and she was still secretly obsessed with him. So once she caught us in her estate room, she called me a whore and ran out, and Upton went after her. So I went to the back deck of the ship because I was avoiding seeing everyone in my utter humiliation, when I was leaning over a rail, someone started choking me with my necklace, then they shoved me off the back of the boat. Shocker of all shockers, it was Mrs. Ryan. The second time, I was suppose to meet him on a different island, and he even sent a boat to come get me. But Mrs. Ryan had hired these men to hijack that boat, and they tied me up and were about to shoot me, when I convinced them Upton would pay them double to not kill me. So they deserted me on an island all alone, and for six days I had to stay there without food or water, until Upton came back to rescue me. Oh, by the way, he took me to Mrs. Ryan's estate after they saved me, because he didn't realize she was trying to kill me, and when we were alone, she tried to drown me in a jacuzzi tub. But thankfully Sawyer came in at the right time and knocked her out with some kind of stick thing, and now here we are. So there, that's what stopped me from having sex with Upton. Happy now?"
Josh looked stunned, and honestly, so was I. Why the hell did I just say all that to him? I guess its like how Lindsay Lohan described it in that movie Mean Girls; verbal vomit. Great. Now either Josh thinks I'm a total slut for almost doing it with Upton twice, or he just pities me because some aged psychopath tried to kill both times. Well if he felt these things, he didn't express them, because it was silent the rest of the car ride home. Finally we pulled into the driveway, and we both immediately got out. I was pissed at him, and I can tell the feeling was mutual. Well, there goes our perfect evening.
He opened up the front door and we stepped inside. "I'll sleep downstairs tonight," he mumbled, more to himself than to me.
"Whatever," I quipped, but secretly that kind of hurt. I guess he didn't wanna try to work it out; we were just going to be alone and mad for tonight. If this is how it was going to be for the rest of the trip, I might as well just leave now. I took off my coat and headed upstairs without another word.
When I got upstairs I found the room we were staying in and slammed the door behind me.
"What's the matter, you and Joshie get in a fight?" a voice teasingly asked behind me. My heart jumped to my throat and I turned around with a gasp. Hunter was laying across my bed with a sleazy looking smirk on his face.
"Hunter, what the hell are you doing here?" I snapped, in seriously no mood for the flirty banter he always gives me. He got up from the bed and circled me in a way that made me nervous. Those feelings were amplified when he got right up to me, so close I could smell his breath. It smelled like alcohol.
"I had to leave my date early," he said, not sounding all that unhappy. "She was a total dud. But I then realized, why go to the trouble of dating, when all I need is right in front of me?" With that he grabbed my hips and tried to pull me closer. I threw his hands off of me and whirled around, but before I could he grabbed my wrist and twisted me around painfully.
"Stay away from me Hunter," I spat through clenched teeth. What the hell was happening here? Why was Josh's cousin trying to put the moves on me?
"Reed, you know I'm a much better option than Josh," he said cockily and when I tried to throw his arm off again, he dug his nails into me deeper. I winced and tried my best not to show the fear that was settling in. "He doesn't love you; you should know this by now. I mean think about it. He leaves you at every chance he gets."
"No he doesn't!" I barked, but felt stupid for even contradicting him. I should be focused on trying to find an escape first, not having a conversation with him.
"Well then why did he leave you all alone right now?" he asked with a hint of mocking in his voice. I struggled against him more, but the more I did that, the harder he'd fight back. "And what about that Ivy chick. When he brought her up here, he seemed totally head over heels for her. The way he'd look at her, they way he talked to her, everyone could see it. One morning they even woke up wearing the same clothes as the night before, if you know what I mean." I tried my best to pretend I didn't care, but how could I not? Was Hunter telling the truth, did Josh really love Ivy? Or was he just saying this to get in my pants? Who was I kidding, it was obviously the latter. "He's just using you Reed. He's pretending to love you so he can get into that gorgeous body of yours." He looked me up and down with complete, shameless lust. It sickened me to my core. I knew what he wanted, and I had to get out of here right now. Because I had a feeling if I stuck around, he was going to get it whether I liked it or not.
"Let go of me!" I screamed, but he did the opposite of that. He tackled me onto the queen size bed. I tried to roll out of the way to avoid being trapped under him, but he seemed to be anticipating this. He pinned down both my shoulders, so no matter how much I thrashed and kicked, I couldn't move. The panic began to sink into me, and I fought him back harder, trying desperately to claw, scratch, kick, and punch him. But he was strong, and it seemed like I wasn't even leaving a mark on him.
"Oh, don't pretend you're not enjoying this. Josh says you cheated on him. A whore like you is always in the mood to be fucked," he said haughtily. God, I hated him!
"Get off of me!" I shouted and prayed to the lord Josh could hear me. I know we were in a fight and he was cooling down, but he had to come up eventually, right? He'd better, because right now, he was my only hope. Hunter layed himself on top of me so now all his weight was holding me down, and he stuck his hands under my shirt. Tears started running down my face. I couldn't help it; I've never felt so violated, so helpless in my entire life. He then put his hands under my bra, and he squeezed me so hard, I had a feeling it was going to leave marks. The tears started to fall harder, not that Hunter seemed to notice, or care; he then whipped my shirt off. He seemed distracting by my almost exposed chest, since that's all he could stare at, so I took the opportunity to knee him in the stomach. He groaned in pain, and I tried to get out from under him, but he wouldn't have it. He grabbed my arm again, except this time when he pinned me down, he slapped me hard across the face as well. I let out a cry in pain and put a hand over stinging mark on my face.
"Don't make me hurt you," Hunter growled and put himself back on top of me again. "I don't want to hurt you." My panic reached an all time high as I realized what could happen here; he could seriously hurt me. I here stories about rapists killing their victims all the time. What if this is how I die, at the hands of Josh's cousin. Or maybe he wouldn't kill me, but he could get me pregnant. I honestly doubt Hunter was going to use protection on me. And I will not, I repeat, not, have Hunter's baby. I'd rather him kill me. All this ran through my brain as he continued to feel around my body, and I continue to do everything in my power to fight him off; nothing seemed to work, though. I was getting more and more desperate, especially since he started to kiss me on the mouth, blocking my air ways. I squealed in protest, and started thrashing and pounding on his back like crazy. This didn't seem to make a difference though, considering he stuck his tongue in my mouth as a response and started unbuckling my pants. He actually succeeded in doing that, and he put a hand in my underwear. I let out a pitiful cry as I felt one of his fingers enter me. He seemed to like that, seeing as another one found its way in there, too. The tears were starting to blur my vision when I heard a sound come from behind me.
"Hey, Reed-" Josh's voice said opening the door. I couldn't see Josh, but I could hear him stopping and taking in the situation. About a second later, he ran towards us.
"Get off of her!" he hollered and pushed Hunter off of me. Now Hunters strong, but Josh is stronger, so he easily sent Hunter sprawling on his disgusting ass.
"Are you all right?" he asked me in a panicked voice. I sat up, but all I could do was double over and pant unattractively, trying desperately to catch my breath.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Josh roared at Hunter. He got in his face and shoved Hunter's shoulders back hard.
"Geez, calm down Josh," Hunter said in a nonchalant voice. If I wasn't in my current state right now, I might've thrown a punch or two.
"Calm down? You were raping my girlfriend, you repulsive bastard!". And with that Josh punched Hunter in the face. It continued on like that for a while, Hunter and Josh tackling, and punching, and just generally kicking the crap out of each other.
"Stop it guys, stop it!" I shouted once I regained my voice. When they didn't, tears of frustration started to fall down my face. Not that I didn't want Josh to kick Hunter's ass, but if this continued the way it was, one of them was bound to get seriously hurt. And I'd be damned if it was Josh. I heard a sound coming out the window, and looked to see a car pulling up in the driveway. It must be Mr. and Mrs. Hollis, thank god. Even if Hunter and Josh proceed to ignore me and beat each other to pulps, I knew someone was about to break up the fight.
"Stop it already!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as soon as I heard the front door open. This way it would be impossible for his parents not to come and help me out here. My theory proved right as I heard the sound of foot fall coming up the stairs. A moment later, Josh's mom and dad stormed in through the door.
"Break it up, you guys!" Mr. Hollis yelled as he pulled the two of them off each other. He then glanced at me, and his face turned bright red. I looked down at myself, and much to my horror, discovered I was still without a shirt and the front of my underwear was completely exposed. Super, now all three of the Hollis men get to see me half undressed today. I quickly grabbed the shirt that Hunter discarded of off the floor, put it over my head, and re-buckled my pants.
"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded, addressing the two boys. Mrs. Hollis just stood by the door, a hand over her mouth and concern lighting her eyes. I tried to wipe away the tears, but they kept on coming.
"I'll tell what happened," Josh said gravely. "Hunter attacked Reed!". I just stared down at the floor and watched as the tears dripping down the bridge of my nose formed a small puddle by my feet.
"Hunter is this true?". I couldn't see him, but I could here the disbelieve and anger radiating out of Mr. Hollis's voice. I heard a scoffing sound, which I could only imagine was the response from Hunter. Only he would be that callous.
"Get out of my house, Hunter. I don't care where you go, just get the hell out of here!". I'd never seen Josh's dad like this, well, technically heard. But his voice sounded so angry that I had to look up. His face was blotchy and red and Josh was staring at me looking pale and sickened. I couldn't believe this was happening. I could practically hear Poppy's cruel words taunting me again; Hurricane Reed.. leaves a wake of destruction everywhere she goes..
"Whatever," Hunter muttered and walked towards the door. But because he's Hunter, when he walked by me he winked. Winked as if he didn't just hit me and try gotten in my pants against my will just moments before. It made me cry even harder.
"Shh shh, Reed, it's gonna be alright," Mrs. Hollis said in a soothing voice, while rubbing my back with her hand. I just buried my face in my hands and cried and cried and cried.
Eventually, when I stopped blubbering all over the place, they took me to the other guest room (no way in hell was I staying in the room Hunter practically raped me in). Josh and his dad exchanged some whispered words by the door while I just stared blankly at my hands. I felt numb after all that crying, from exhaustion maybe, but probably because my mind had just shut down. God, I hope I don't get something like post-traumatic stress disorder. I heard some steps coming towards me and looked up. Josh hovered near me for a second, then sat down next to me. I'm not sure why, but at that moment something horrible occurred to me. What if Josh thinks this was my fault? I thought back to how much he hated me after I cheated on him with Dash; I couldn't have that happen again. I couldn't lose him again.
"Josh I'm so sorry," I said, startling him. He looked over at me confused, but I kept going. "I tried to fight him off, but he was too strong. I wasn't cheating on you, I would never do that-"
"Reed, it's OK," he cut me off. He looked at me with concern for a second, then strangely enough, the expression in his eyes morphed into something else. It looked kind of like guilt and sorrow. What did he have to be guilty about? None of this was his doings.
"What?" I couldn't help asking out loud.
"What's that?" he questioned back.
"What was that look. You looked all guilty suddenly, and you've done nothing wrong, so I'm just curious," I explained. I'm not sure I was making a whole lot of sense to him though, based on the look he was giving me.
"Why do you think I'd blame you for this? I know that was all Hunter in there. Did you think I wouldn't believe you?" he asked softly. I thought about that a second. Well, I guess he did see me resisting Hunter, so it wouldn't make sense to think I was at fault.
"I don't know," I answered honestly.
"It's because of what happened with Dash, isn't it?". I looked at him. He looked deeply saddened, like he'd just witnessed a puppy getting run over. Now that I think about it, I guess the reason I was so desperate to make him understand was just because of that. Since last time that happened, Josh broke up with me immediately. Not that I blame him though, I mean I did that same thing to him when I'd caught him with Cheyenne. Taking my silence as an answer, he went on.
"Reed, I never really apologized for any of that stuff.. I'm not sure why.." He said that last part through clenched teeth, as if he was trying to control his anger with himself. "Anyways, here it goes. Reed, I'm so incredibly sorry for everything I put you through with that. How I broke up with you, wouldn't listen to your explanation, went out with Ivy after.. I was a complete bastard to you, and you really didn't deserve that. And how you found out about me and Ivy tonight.. I didn't handle that well at all. I shouldn't have been berating you about your sex life, because its none of my business. Especially with what happened during that vacation.." His voice trailed off here and I looked and saw him shudder. I could tell he was thinking about my encounters with Mrs. Ryan. "I was trying to turn things on you to make you seem worse than me, and I'm not really sure why I did that. Maybe it because I've always regretted that fact that I slept with Ivy. I was feeling lonely after we broke up, and I thought I'd just use her to fill the void. Of course it didn't work; I felt like absolute crap afterward. The only time sex has ever meant anything is when it was with you." I looked up at him, to check for his genuineness. The look he gave me was so sincere I could've cried. I reached forward and hugged him, loving the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around me.
"The same with me, Josh," I said, though it was muffled since I said it into his shoulder. I pulled back so I could look him in the eye. "Thomas, Dash, Upton.. Josh, they're nothing compared to you. And to be honest, I think I used Upton the same way you used Ivy. You know, something to fill the void. I kept getting closer to him because he kept doing nice things I thought you would do. I never really wanted him, though, I just wanted to show you I had moved on, too."
"I never moved on, Reed. Never will," he stated, giving me a smile at the end that made my heart throb with joy. He put his arm around my shoulders and I cuddled into him. "I'm really sorry for what happened tonight, though. I always knew Hunter was a disgusting man whore, but I didn't peg him as a rapist too". I looked up at him and he gazed down, gently tucking my hair behind my ear. "You're such a beautiful girl, Reed, that people will try to hurt you over that. And it scares me that I might not always be around to protect you. Hell, I could barely protect you tonight, and you were just upstairs". I pulled back from his arm and looked at him with confusion.
"What are you talking about? If you hadn't come in when you did, he would've.. well, you know," I argued.
"I was just sitting downstairs, bitching to myself about you, while he was hitting you, and undressing you, and.. and.." he trailed off and shut his eyes tight; the expression on his face was one of deep disturbance. I could tell what had happened really upset him, and I felt guilty once again for bringing this drama into his life. I seriously was a crisis magnet, wasn't I? It's like my life was just God's giant movie, and I was always casted as the victim. I rubbed his back gently with my arm, trying my best to comfort him.
"Hey, none of this was your fault. And I'm serious when I say you really did save me today. You don't have to be scared, I honestly doubt something like this is going to happen to me again," I said using my best confident tone, even though I'm no fortune teller; I didn't have a clue what was going to happen in the future.
"Yeah, that's what I thought after what happened with Ariana," he said biting down on her name. I shuddered a little. Hey, I'm sure you'd feel the same way about the murderer who almost took your life, too. "That what had happened was a once in a lifetime thing. But then her sister came back and tried to kill you, and then Mrs. Ryan, tried to kill you what, three times?"
"Five times," I answered quietly, though I know I shouldn't of said anything at all. "But Josh it doesn't matter, its not going to happen again. I haven't pissed off any crazies lately." I said the last part in a joking tone, but Josh gave me a look that said this was no laughing matter. OK, I guess he was right.
"You know what? I think we should stop talking about this. You need you're rest." He gave me a smile, though if you ask me, it looked a little forced.
"You're going to sleep up in our room tonight, right?" I asked, though I'm not really sure why he wouldn't.
"Of course," he assured me. "I'll be right back, I just need to go grab some stuff." He gave me a kiss on the head. "Goodnight, Reed."
"OK." I got under the covers of the bed, fully clothed, and turned on my side. "Goodnight, Josh."
He walked towards the door, turned the lights off behind him, and left. OK Reed, sleepy time. But unfortunately, the second I closed my eyes, all I could see was Hunter. Hunter digging his nails into my skin, telling me Josh didn't love me and was only using me, tackling me onto the bed, calling me a slut, sticking his hands under my bra, taking my shirt off, sticking his fingers in me.. All of it, over and over again like some disturbing slide show. The helplessness, that weak, horrible feeling of being completely violated and not even being able to stop him, came back. I sat up straight with a gasp. I heard a clicking sound next to me and the room flooded with light.
"Whats wrong?" Josh asked groggily. God, I hadn't even realized he'd come back. I must've been asleep longer than I'd realized.
"Nothing," I said in the most calm voice I could manage. "Just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep". Josh gave me a smile, though it didn't read in his nervous eyes. But he just said nothing and turned the lights off. OK, sleeping part two. Here we go. Josh wrapped his arms around me when I layed back down and I savored his touch. I always loved the way I felt when I was cocooned inside of him, like we were part of one whole. In a way we were; I never did feel whole unless I was with Josh. Because there's no denying it, Josh was the one. He just completely, totally was. And he promised me he'd always be there for me, that he'd always love me, so this could honestly be it. I could finally, finally have my happiness and just be with him. That gave me a warm, buttery feeling that spread from my chest to every part of my body, and I fell asleep knowing no matter how bad my life could get, at least I'll always have Josh by my side.