This is a self insert (sort of, not really me) elements of greater realism in some respects and for those who are wondering its si/femshep. For the followers of shadows and ash that story has not been abandoned, even though its been a while. I plan to release new chapters for both stories relatively soon.

I'd like to start off by saying that I don't believe in luck. Luck in and of itself is not a force within the universe and there is nothing that you can do or say to convince me otherwise. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that you can't be lucky or unlucky, (You definitely can be) but luck is often little more than a matter of perspective.

For example just six days ago I was heading for my 21st birthday party where pretty much all of my friends and family were gathered when I got stuck In traffic which meant that I arrived just seconds after a freak explosion tore the restaurant apart killing everyone inside. Now you could argue that I was lucky for having avoided the blast but at the same time I just lost everything of real value in my life, so lucky most certainly is not a word any thoughtful person would use to describe me.

Now I'm standing at the front of a throng of people as an chaplain speaks about people I'm fairly certain he didn't really know at all and I can't stop thinking about how unlucky I am being the only one left. I mean I'm the one that survived but right now I'm struggling to see any value in that fact and despite all the platitudes and well wishes I have received and will receive in future I know I won't be feeling anything resembling lucky for quite some time If ever again.

I don't want to be here. Everyone and everything here is a reminder of those who aren't, every word spoken a reminder of those who will never speak again, and although no one is daring to do it overtly I can feel the eyes of dozens people staring at me as if they're expecting me to spontaneously combust at any moment.

I really don't want to be here.

But I won't leave until after most of the crowd has, because although I have never really seen a point in the spectacle that a funeral can be I feel that if anyone needs to be here it's me and staying is the last great sign of respect I think I can show to the people that were my world.

The chaplain is still speaking but I can't bear to listen to him so look to my left and catch five different people suddenly shifting their gaze from me to the ground or the chaplain or the long row of coffins, but what truly catches my eye is the one person who doesn't look away, but rather just smiles at me as if I'm supposed to be happy about something.

I stare back at him a little more attentively and frown when I realise that he looks just like me only wrong. I'm wearing a black pinstripe suit with a dark blue shirt and tie, but he is wearing a white tuxedo jacket with bright red pants and shirt and a tie that appears to be a light blue or purple. (between the red shirt and the glaring sunlight I can't really tell) Either way he looks just gnarly and that's before you take into account the fact that his skin is incredibly pale and his hair appears to be a dark green.

I shift my gaze away from him when I realise that everyone else is bowing their heads in prayer and I do the same. Once the prayer is over I look back but my mysterious doppelganger is nowhere to be seen.

Later on, when people start leaving I look around once more for my double but my search comes up empty. I didn't drive here this morning but I turn down all offers of a lift as I leave the cemetery because I want to get away from all of this as soon as possible and I don't want to go home right now. So I walk and walk as I attempt to process the fact that for the first time in my life I truly feel alone.

After an hour or four (I'm really not certain) I find myself In a busier section of the city and I decide to head home. So I start looking for a taxi and see a few of them sitting at the side of the road half a block away picking up shoppers. I head in that direction but end up having to wait to cross the road and a small group of people move around me as we wait for the pedestrian light to go green. Before that happens though I get tapped on the shoulder and turn to see my doppelganger In front of me grinning as he speaks.

"Sorry about this buddy but you're needed elsewhere."

And with that he gives me a solid shove and I stumble back onto the road right into the path of an oncoming SUV, and the world as I know it ceases to exist as I experience a moment of intense pain before I die.

When I wake I am surprised to find that I am not In Heaven or Hell or even In a hospital bed, but rather lying down in complete darkness, or at least what I perceive to be darkness I can feel when my eyes are open but I can't see anything so I could be blind, although my other senses seem to be working fine and I'm not in any pain so I'll just stay positive and assume that my eyes still work for the time being.

"Ah you're awake at last." my doubles voice echoes across the room. Is this even a room?

"Huh?" I sit up and look around but still can't see anything and I'm starting to wonder If I actually am blind because he can apparently see me.

"Oh! Sorry my friend, I always forget you humans can't see in the dark without some technological assistance?" As the area(There are no walls or ceiling so it's not a room, but there doesn't appear to be anything resembling a sky either) Is bathed In a white light I realise that he is speaking with a thick South African accent, that for some reason I couldn't place before. Wait he said 'you humans' what the hell is he then? And where the hell am I? And how did I get here? And why on earth am I here at all?

As I turn to face him I summarise all these questions and more with a simple "What the fuck?"

His voice changes to a scolding tone "Now I realise that you have been under quite a lot of stress lately, but that is no reason to start using language like that my friend. Your mother raised you better than that James."

I just stare at him incredulously for a few seconds as I wait for him to continue.

"Oh, of course! You wish to know why I've brought you here?"

"Amongst other things. Yeah I do." I reply as I get to my feet, taking note of the fact that I'm still wearing my suit.

"Please excuse my thoughtlessness, you are here because your services are required In order to save a galaxy of races from extinction. As to why I killed you, It had to be done In order for me to get you here and eventually onto the galaxy that we wish you to save."

"Wait!" Although I was already fairly certain that I had been killed hearing that I was in fact dead was a shock to the system. "I'm actually dead?"

The ever present smile that he had been wearing ever since the funeral slipped away for a moment as he put on what looked like a thoughtful expression. "Yes and no. Yes in the universe you come from you are dead and everyone there believes it as your body was fatally damaged when you got hit by that drunk driver. That should teach him to drink and drive, and It was four in the afternoon for heaven's sake! Who gets drunk that early! And what if he had hit a kid?"

I decide to interrupt and refocus him. "I fully agree but you're a bit off topic."

The smile returns "Ah yes, you are not dead in the universe you are being sent to. You are merely unconscious there. I apologise for getting sidetracked I am presently also setting up your history within the galaxy I am sending you to, and it takes most of my concentration."

"That's ... fine." I hesitantly state silently wondering whether or not I am hallucinating.

I mull over my predicament for a moment before starting again "I'm going to work on the assumption that I'm not crazy or hallucinating for the time being."

"A good platform to work off, I find."

"Yeah, um, who are you, who Is the we you were referring to, and why do you look like me?"

He responds instantly "Well I don't actually have a name, but you can call me Thanos. NO, wait he's a villain isn't he, ah Galactus. No he's a villain too kind of and I don't eat planets, um?"

"Ah I have it, call me the Watcher."

"You're a Marvel fan huh? Isn't the Watcher passive?"

"Yes I am a fan well this time around anyway." This time? What? "The Watcher Is the closest analogy I can make for myself. Obviously I'm not passive, I'm active maybe you should call me the Active Watcher. No that's no good, the Watcher will be fine."

Before he starts again I decide to refocus him, "Ok, Watcher, who is 'we' and why do you look like me?"

"'We' is myself obviously and others like me, I suppose for the sake of simplicity you could just call us the Watchers. As to why I look like you, that was simply a way to grab your attention."

"I guess that explains the clothes too." I muse.

He frowns "What's wrong with my clothes? I think I look good, though maybe I should have gone with a bow tie. Bow ties are cool."

Again I decide to refocus the conversation "You said you want me to save a galaxy? What makes me so special? Why me?"

He smiles again "Straight to the heart of the matter I see. Very good I like that. You ask why you were selected, well the answer Is relatively simple actually. You meet all of the required criteria for success In the task set before you to be achievable."

I wait for him to continue but the scatterbrained supernatural South African version of me obviously thinks that was a sufficient answer so I press him for information once more. "What criteria?"

"Oh yes how silly of me, you are creative and of above average intelligence, you are relatively level headed and make good decisions based on a strong and healthy sense of morality, you have a unique personality and a relatively selfless nature that should gel quite well with your most necessary ally. You have little attachment to the world you are leaving which means you are unlikely to actively pursue the means to go back to your original universe. Although you're not as strong as you could be, you have very good eye-hand coordination and spatial awareness for the most part. "

"Most importantly you have a significant amount of knowledge about the people, places and events you will most assuredly encounter in your travels."

I ponder this for a second before replying.

"How could I possibly know the people I meet and what will happen In a place I have never even seen before?"

His grin grows to new heights making it look like he's had a lethal dosage of Botox injected into his face. "Oh my friend, but you have seen it all before, or at least possible variations on what can happen and who you will meet."

The confusion I'm experiencing must be evident on my face because he quickly continues.

"Let me put it this way, You would refer to this reality as the Mass Effect universe."

My eyes widen in surprise and my mind is instantly filled with the enormity of the task he wants me to complete.

"The task you have set before you will require a lot of care and balance. If you do too little or nothing Shepard will be unable to attain victory, however If you do too much things will end badly as well."

"If you are to make enough of a difference you will need to be on Shepards crew at least initially, simply joining C-Sec or the Alliance will have an effect but will ultimately be insufficient no matter how well you do. On the other hand telling Shepard everything as soon as possible would be catastrophic as she either won't believe you or will take a path far different than the one that she should. Also groups such as Cerberus or the Shadow Broker would come after you if it became evident that you knew the future, bringing undue pressure onto yourself and by proxy Shepard herself."

I mull this over for a second before replying "Ok, so I give Shepard my unconditional support, backing her up where ever possible and see if I can nudge her in the right direction on things, and maybe save a life here and there of someone who would have died otherwise?" He nods, his smile unfaltering and very creepy now.

"Whilst not revealing that I know the future?"

He nods again but inserts "Shepard can know that you know elements of the future but not what precisely it is that you know or knew, until after it happened. I would not advise telling her that you know anything until you have gained a high level of trust and even then only when you are certain it is the best course of action. Also I would sweep for bugs if you do take that course of action."

What he has said makes sense to me so this time I nod but some other possibilities occur to me "What If I were to get a hold of the Prothean vi on Thessia or save Shepard from getting spaced?"

"Taking the vi would likely cause the Asari government to send Spectres or Justicars after you and the Shadow Broker and Cerberus would likely notice and be after you not only because of the vi but also because they would want to know how you knew where it was when neither of their intelligence networks had even uncovered its existence. As for saving Shepard It could work out for the better as she would potentially have two more years to work, however this likely cut Shepard off from Cerberus and the SR2, as well as her implants that made her faster and stronger. EDI, Miranda and Jacob would all stay with Cerberus for longer and likely fight against Shepard. Jack would most likely stay imprisoned and any number of things could happen to Grunt."

"You should also consider that either one of these actions would invalidate most of the knowledge you have of what happens to Shepard and her crew, and any major changes along these lines is a huge gamble. Also consider this, the earlier you make a change the bigger the ripple effect on the timeline. Say you manage to acquire evidence of Saren's involvement in the attack on Eden Prime before the first Council hearing, there would then be no need for Shepard to go and deal with Garrus Wrex and Tali. Subtle changes to the story as a whole will almost always be your best course of action."

I nod once more but I see a problem with all of this "I don't have the strength, skill or experience that I would need to keep up with Shepard in a fight, I don't even have a way onto her crew unless that's the background you were talking about."

"Not yet. You don't have the strength, skill or experience yet, but what you do have, my friend, is time. I am inserting you into the universe almost three years before the attack on Eden Prime, that should be more than enough time for you to acquire the strength, skill and experience you need to keep up. As for getting onto the crew I am certain that you are smart enough to get yourself aboard given enough preparation."

As nervous as I am about becoming a soldier and fighting a war against an enemy that could wipe out all sentient life in the galaxy, I can't help but feel a little excited about the prospect of experiencing life aboard the Normandy, and meeting all my favourite characters. A grin overtakes my face as a result.

The Watcher notices and frowns as he interrupts with an unusually serious tone "You must understand this will not be a game, these are real people that have real emotions. They are constrained completely by the laws of physics in this reality, If you or anybody else dies they're dead. If you and Shepard fail to stop Saren or the Collectors there will be no mission restarts, no save files to fall back on and before you ask I cannot do anymore than I already have. There are rules I need to follow all I will be able to do from this point forward Is offer an occasional piece of advice."

I nod in understanding as he continues in a more positive manner "On that note I suggest you feign memory loss and do plenty of research in order to get by."

"Also keep in mind the changes made so that the story could be made into the Mass Effect trilogy. There will be more people, including an abundance of children, there won't be those pesky invisible walls, the characters will look and sound a little different, you won't hear the voice of Jennifer Hale and she won't look like exactly like either version of the default femshep."

He closes the final distance between us as he speaks "Alas, it is time for you to go my friend, your body is unfortunately In some danger. I know you have more questions but you really need to wake up now."

And with that he puts his finger to my forehead, and it is the last thing I see before my life starts anew.

The next chapters already half written, so it shouldn't be long, let me know what you think of 'the Watcher' your reviews will affect how often he shows up. Thanks for reading. Hackett... uh I mean Trashkan Out!