Comfort

A/n: This is my first Stargate Atlantis story as well as my first Sparky fic so please be nice and tell me what you think and what I can do to write better and I would really like some ideas how to make the characters more real, but no flames. I'm not going to stall you any longer, hope you enjoy this little story and a 'Happy New Year' to all!

This story is like an episode tag to the Real World. I wanted to make a little more out of it so here you go.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing.

The night had finally settled in the city of the Ancients after another long and tough day. The city as well as its inhabitants were finally allowed to rest except those picked out to be the nightshift.

The light in Elizabeth's office was as usually, on. She sat behind her desk in deep concentration, reading over the latest mission report handed over to her. A frown settled on her young features as she briefly read over John Sheppard's mission report. What should have been a peaceful negotiation had turned into an all out fight between him and his team and the locals. So the chances of alliance with planet M34-227 was out of the question.

She let a sigh escape her lips as she lowered the papers. The headache she had obtained from concentrating so hard for hours without stop was not lessen by the load of paperwork lying on her desk, reports she hadn't even began reading was due tomorrow so there was no escaping it. She reached over to yet another failed negotiation report also lead by Colonel Sheppard. She sighed as she briefly read over it; this time was not so different from M34-227. There had been a clash between them and the city's inhabitants but that was even before they met up with the leaders. Someone had most likely provoked some of the citizens and she could only think of two at the time; Rodney or Ronon but even though Ronon was easily provoked, McKay was as just as easily ticked off if the conversation had taken the turn into a subject of science. She finished the report just as a wave of dizziness washed over her. She grabbed the desk for support with one hand and the other went up to her head, massaging her temples gently. She closed her eyes for a minute before opening them, blinking a few times to clear her blurry vision.

She slowly brushed a hand through her hair, fingering with one of her curly locks before grabbing the data pad across her organized desk. She tapped it a few times with a delicate finger, waking it to life before finding the document holding her schedule for the coming day.

The briefing was bound at eight so she had less than seven hours to either read over the Colonel's reports for the briefing tomorrow or finish the report for the SGC. She settled with neither and slowly rose from the chair, setting her data pad to slumber. She didn't bother turning of the light considering she would return shortly.

She smiled to the night shift technicians as she passed them on her way through the control room. She took a few moments to look down at the deserted gate room, the ancestral ring stood tall and proud, reminding her once again that every time she sent a team through it the risk that they never returned was lingering in the air, but still it also helped the feeling that earth was not so far away even though she knew she didn't want to return home. Atlantis had become her new home and she was pretty sure that if she returned to earth she wouldn't feel at home, not the way she did in the ancestors' city. The expedition members had become like a family to her so the homesick feeling had vanished long ago.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts before leaving the control room. She nodded her acknowledgement to the technicians as she left the room.

The cold breeze sent shivers down her spine as the balcony door opened. The wind played gently with her curly hair as she slowly made her way over to the railing. She leant forward, resting her arms on the railing as she let her gaze carry over the horizon. The sound of the waves lapping against Atlantis' great pier always soothed her nerves and it wasn't an exception this time either. She slowly closed her eyes as she listened to the silent movement of the waves and the chilly breeze whistling through the city.

A memory came to mind as she stood there, savoring the silence the night had to offer. First it came as a blurred vision, a picture of someone. It made her heart beat faster and she tried to focus on the obscure/faint face. She shut her eyes tight together, making a thin line of concentration appear on her forehead. The headache she was feeling a few hours earlier now came back full force. She stumbled for a moment before her eyes snapped open as Niam's face emerged/appeared in front of her eyes. She gripped the railing hard, making her knuckles turn white as she tried to steady her breathing as well as her balance.

The memory was still fresh in her mind, the months away from Atlantis which were only hours in the real world so to speak. She couldn't quite believe it yet. Sure she was aware that her body was a vessel full of nanites who posed a potential dangerous threat, she could comprehend that factum but the dream she had been practically living, believing in was not real, only a fake world to convince her to give up and let the nanites take over was something her mind didn't really accept. It was so unreal. She had been living in a fantasy world where no one had ever heard of the SGC, a world where the Stargate Program was not real and she believed it.

It had been so real, so terrifying real. They really made her believe that Atlantis was only a figment of her imagination created by her stressed brain to protect itself from the unreal pain of losing Simon in a car crash she didn't even remember.

It felt like an eternity for her when it actually was just a few hours. She could still feel the restraints and the hands grabbing for her and she let go of the railing only to wrap her arms around herself in a matter of trying to get her brain to understand it was over. There was no need to fear it any longer. She didn't need to have these nightmares that plagued her mind every night, which made her wake up with a sweat, panting for air. There was no need to keep playing these scenes in her mind all day long. She had been saved. Colonel John Sheppard had saved her. He had risked his life in order to bring her back home and he had managed it. She was here, on Atlantis, breathing. It was all the proof she needed to steady her rapid breaths and calm her racing heart. She took a deep breath as she focused her vision back on the starry night sky and the pitch black ocean. She was home after all and no one was going to take her away again.

Just as she closed her eyes she could hear the door behind her slid open with its signature whoosh. She didn't have to open her eyes to know who it was; there was only one person besides herself that used this balcony. It had become their balcony; hers and John's, no one else ever used it as though it had almost become some unspoken rule among her people. She didn't need to hear his footsteps since she already knew he was going to take his usual spot beside her, resting his arms on the iron railing. She didn't need to break the comfortable silence settling between them and neither did he. They stayed like that for a while, knowing the other had already been acknowledged without words. It was weird how the habit had settled in, how they always knew where the other where or when to stay quite. And this was a time to stay quiet for a while and so they did, both looking equally thoughtful as they both gazed out on the calm ocean, the gentle breeze playing with their hair. They quietly enjoyed the comfort the other brought with them.

John was the one who decided to break the comfortable silence between them as he slowly turned towards her, his eyes showing emotions she had never seen. She automatically turned to face him, locking eyes with him as he sheepishly brushed a hand through his hair. "You gave us quite a scare you know that?" He lowered his eyes away from hers as he fidget silently with the zipper on his jacket. "We honestly thought you were going to…"

"I know." She interrupted, knowing he was having a hard time expressing his feelings. She waited till he raised his head and locked eyes with him again, seeing eyes so filled with emotions it was almost overwhelming. She averted her gaze after a moment and looked down at her folded hands. "I thought I never got to see you again, that this whole expedition was just a fantasy created by my own brain."

"I'm sorry Elizabeth, I didn't protect you from Niam and I couldn't do anything to stop the nanites from hurting you."

"There was nothing you could have done to stop him John, we didn't know he was going to infect me, we didn't even know he could, so stop blaming yourself. Beside it was you who saved me from the nanites after all."

He raised his head, staring at her, his eyes showing clearly confusion and curiosity as well as self loathing. "What?"

"I saw your face John. I kept seeing you over and over again, but only as a blurry frame. It was so frightening but you kept appearing and after a while I saw you as clear as you are standing in front of me right now. You told me to fight, to not give up and you guided me home. You saved my life John, thank you."

"Well let's not make a habit out of it, okay?" he asked, giving her his best flyboy smile.

She smiled back at him before nodding, "I guess we're even now."

"Indeed we are, and I prefer it stays that way, if you don't have other plans that is?" he asked playfully.

She looked at him, his strong hazel eyes holding a deeper feeling she couldn't quite name but gave it no other thought as she turned back to the ocean. "No, not for the moment anyway." She could see John in her peripheral vision, smiling his usual lopsided grin as he rested his arms on the railing like he usually did, glancing out at the huge dark ocean, stretching out so far the eye could see.

"Neither have I." He said smiling.