AUTHOR'S NOTE:This is a 'What if?' kind of story and it takes place around season 7, right after "Fault." Elliot is separated from Kathy and barely sees their four children. This starts right after Olivia is attacked by Gitano and has her throat cut. Olivia has already transferred to Computer Crimes. But what if things had gone differently from that point? What if Elliot realized things were really over with Kathy? What if he realized that Olivia was his entire world? What if they took that chance they could never take before when they were partners? What if they explored all of the angst, lust and feelings for each other that they had been forced to keep hidden all of these years? And what if Elliot was the one to make all of her dreams come true? EO FOREVER! This starts out a little slow, but it will get better, I promise. Thanks for checking it out!
A "perfect storm" is an expression that describes an event where a rare combination of circumstances will aggravate a situation drastically. The term is also used to describe an actual phenomenon that happens to occur in such a confluence, resulting in an event of unusual magnitude.
The Perfect Storm
(Chapter One: The Eye of The Storm)
His life was like a hurricane, Eliot thought staring up at the bunk above him in the darkness. Everything around him was spinning out of control as he stood still and helpless in the eye of the storm. Kathy had now filed for divorce and he barely got the chance to see their four children. Fighting for the marriage didn't seem to have a point anymore, now that she had made it so obvious that she giving up all interest in trying to salvage their life together.
Work was….well it was what it always was, hard to face and even harder to survive. The things he saw every day had begun to poison his mind many years ago. Visions of child victims were hard for anyone to get out of their mind, especially when you have four kids of your own at home. But he did it. He did it because these victims needed justice, too. He did it because no one else would. And he was good at it.
Then there was Olivia. His partner. His friend. And the only person he knew would always have his back no matter what. But now he had managed to screw things up with her too.
Until recently Elliot hadn't realized exactly how much he really did care for her. Until recently, any attraction or feelings beyond friendship that he may have had for Olivia had been tucked neatly away, locked up tight out of sight and out of mind. She was smart and funny and beautiful. And he was married. Off the market, so she was off limits. Any thoughts of her in any way other than friendship had been reduced to random uncontrollable fantasies a few times a month when she somehow managed to pop into his dreams. But Elliot was loyal and true to his word, and acting on any of these thoughts would mean crossing the line. That was not an option.
Then it happened. The one day that would change things forever. Between them. At work. Everything he knew about the order in which things had to be. Elliot was faced with a choice and the decision he made would haunt him for the rest of his life.
He closed his eyes and could see it all playing out before him once more. The busy sounds of the train station, the hum of voices around him and the hustle and bustle of feet moving about. And there, in the center of it all her pretty brown eyes stared into him.
Turning around, Elliot noticed one of the young hostages, Ryan Clifford standing alone at the foot of the escalator. He called for the child and motioned for Ryan to come to him, but the boy just stood there frozen in silence.
He drew a deep breath and held it as he focused on the sound of her voice. Elliot couldn't quite remember exactly what Olivia had said.
But the sight he saw when he turned her way was one he would never forget. Victor Paul Gitano, raised the hunting knife he held in his hand and slashed it across her neck.
Elliot's breath caught in his throat and his heart stopped beating completely as Olivia fell to the floor. In his mind he could hear himself screaming for her, watching helplessly as blood began to seep from the wound and pour out between her fingertips.
Flipping his head back to Gitano, he raised his gun watching as the man grabbed Ryan and his sister dragging them up the escalator in an attempt to escape.
In that moment, Elliot was faced with the biggest decision he had ever had to make on the job. Chase after Gitano in an attempt to save the children, or help his partner. And he chose. He chose her.
Rushing back to Olivia's side, he cradled her head in his hands. He had never been more scared in his life, as she gasped and looked up at him from the floor.
It took a few seconds, before Elliot was able to clearly process what she was saying to him.
"It's okay. I'm okay. Where's Gitano? Go Elliot. Go, I'm fine."
And she was fine. But he had no way of knowing that until that moment. And in the few seconds it took Elliot to go back and check on her, Gitano had decided that dragging Ryan along was slowing him down too much and he murdered the child. Gitano slit Ryan's throat and left him lying there on the platform to bleed out as he disappeared with Ryan's sister Rebecca.
Back at the precinct, Elliot let the raw emotion he was feeling get the best of him and he yelled at Olivia, blaming her for the choice he had made. Somewhere inside, Elliot blamed himself for the child's death. He was sure that if he had just kept going and not turned back, he could have rescued little Ryan Clifford and he would still be alive today.
After their argument, Olivia transferred to Computer Crimes. And working without her by his side, was enough to make Elliot rethink every moment of their time together as partners. Every moment, he took for granted until she was just gone.
Now as he laid alone in the cribs feeling the loneliness that surrounded him, he realized that for the first time in a long time he was really alone. Kathy left him. And now he had even managed to drive Olivia away.
He shifted in the bed and swallowed hard. What the hell had he done?
Obviously sleep was not coming any time soon. Might as well get back to work, he thought as he stumbled down the hall and back into the bullpen. He turned on his desk lamp and opened a file, then started a pot of coffee.
He hadn't been able to sleep in the nearly three weeks it had been since the Gitano incident and burning the midnight oil had become a way of life for him. Part of him kind of liked working at this time of night. Pretty much everyone else had long gone home, so it was fairly quiet and it allowed him time to think without the static of office buzz around him. It also allowed him time alone to focus on and he seemed to be getting a lot of work done during these late night shifts.
He poured himself a cup of coffee and turned to move back to his desk. That is when he noticed her standing in the doorway.
"Hey," Olivia said with a soft smile.
"Hey," he replied feeling the corners of his mouth raise as he stared at her. "Just can't stay away, can you?" he joked and she laughed.
Olivia drew a deep breath and made her way toward him.
"I forgot my mug," she said pressing her lips together as she reached past him to pick up her Navy NYPD cup.
"I didn't realize Computer Crimes worked this late."
"We don't," she replied clearing her throat, "I'm actually just coming in."
"It is four in the morning."
"Yea, well I have to get up to speed on a few cases and this seems to be the only quiet time I have to focus on things."
Elliot smiled.
"How are you?" she asked as his eyes rested on hers for the first time in weeks.
"Good. Great. Getting a lot done."
Olivia stared at him and he knew she wasn't buying one word of it.
"Word travels, El."
"What word?" he almost snarled before catching himself.
"Word that you have run off five perspective partners in just over three weeks."
"I don't play well with others," he said only half joking. "Cragen is bringing in a new one in a few hours."
He watched as she dropped one of her favorite tea bags into the cup and poured hot water over it.
"You've got to take it easy, El. Just try to be more….go with the flow. Find something you have in common with that person. Maybe it will make it easier to click."
"Go with the flow?"
"You need a partner, Elliot."
"I had a partner, Olivia."
Her eyes shifted to the cup in her hand and she refused to look at him.
"I didn't do it to hurt you," she whispered drawing a deep breath.
"You could have talked to me."
"I know. I should have. But I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry."
"So am I," he said and she could tell by his tone he still felt wounded.
Olivia closed her eyes, then looked into his once more.
"We've never fought like that," she said.
"We've had arguments before."
"But not like that. It scared me," she confessed. "Things have been tense between us for a little while. I am not really even sure why, but they have. And I knew that if something didn't change and soon…."
She paused and Elliot watched as a tear slid down her cheek.
"You weren't just my partner, Elliot. You are also my best friend. If things continued the way they had been going….I think we just needed a break from each other. Now, before things got worse."
"I didn't even realize they had gotten bad."
"Neither did I until it blew up in the hallway. We spent every waking moment together for over seven years, Elliot. Eventually we were bound to drive each other crazy. I don't want us to end up hating each other."
"Neither do I."
"I'm sorry. I should have talked to you. It was just too complicated."
"I'm sorry, too."
Olivia blinked and focused her attention on his words.
"Liv, I never should have said those things to you. I never should have yelled at you or blamed you. I made that choice. I chose to go back and check on you. I have replayed it a thousand times in my head. I have never been more scared then I was right then. I honestly thought I was gonna lose you. That's why I went back. I wasn't angry at you, I was angry at myself. I made a choice and that little boy died. But honestly, if I had that moment to live again….I know I wouldn't do it any differently."
"Elliot," she said as she shook her head.
"I should have grabbed Ryan. He was right there. I should have grabbed Ryan, then returned to you. I was just so scared of losing you. I chose you. It may not have been the right thing to do. But I did. I made that choice with my heart, not my head. But I know, that if I were to do it all over, I'd choose you again."
She reached up with a soft hand and wiped a single tear from his cheek. This was the first time she had ever seen him cry.
"And I know that is a decision that will haunt you for the rest of your life," she said softly wiping her own tears away as well. "Maybe we really are too close."
"Maybe," he said softly.
"Liv?" he said as she turned to walk away.
"Yea?" she replied stepping toward him once more.
"Losing you as a partner hurt more than I ever thought it would. But losing you completely, I don't think I could survive that. I know things are kind of fractured between us right now, but they we will mend them. I thank God that you were okay," he whispered as he kissed her forehead. "I don't ever want to know what my world is like without you in it."
Olivia smiled and hugged him. He closed his arms around her and just held on to her for a moment.
"I may not work SVU anymore, but Elliot that doesn't mean I am not here for you. I know you have a lot going on right now. Just know that I am here if you need me. I'm only a text or a phone call away if you want to talk."
"I know," he agreed forcing a smile.
"I'd better get back to work," she said and he watched as her hand slipped from his. "Good luck with the new partner."
"Just go with the flow," he said with a nod as she smiled and waved, then disappeared down the hall.
Elliot took a deep breath. Losing her as his partner hurt like hell, but losing her as his friend would have been even harder to bear and that is exactly what would have happened if Olivia hadn't walked away when she did.
Two days later, it was pushing ten o'clock as Elliot shut things down for the night. He started his car and pulled through the parking lot and up to the street. As he sat there listening to the clicking sound his turning signal made, he thought about her. He smiled for a moment, wondering what she was doing at that very moment.
It wasn't that late, he thought to himself. He scrolled through the numbers on his phone and selected hers. As he did, a picture of her pretty smile appeared on the screen. He raised his head and looked around him at the empty street. A left turn and a thirty minute drive and he could climb into bed and actually get some sleep tonight.
Dropping his phone into the passenger's seat, he stared down the road. Then he pulled out and took a right.
Olivia was climbing out of the backseat of a taxi when she got his text.
"Are you still awake?"
She couldn't help but smile as she typed out her response.
"Yep."
"Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"
Climbing off the elevator she read his response. She smiled and shook her head. As she rounded the corner to find Elliot leaned against her apartment door.
"You look nice," he said standing with a foam cup in each hand. "Why are you all dolled up?"
"I had a date," she said with a smile as she slipped her key into the lock and pushed the door open.
"A date?"
"Yes. With my new schedule, I actually have time for things like dating and having a life. I forgot how nice that was."
Elliot raised an eyebrow at the site of her in her little black dress, as Olivia hung her jacket up in the closet.
"How did that go?"
"It went well," she said kicking off her heels and taking one of the cups from him.
"Couldn't have gone too well if you came home alone by ten thirty."
Olivia rolled her eyes up to stare at him.
"Well I'm not gonna jump into bed with a guy on a first date, Elliot. What kind of girl do you think I am?"
"Obviously not that kind," he mumbled.
"It was nice. We had dinner and went to the theatre….I even got a good night kiss. He was a complete gentleman. Even asked if he could take me out again."
"That sounds promising."
"Yea, well, there was absolutely no chemistry."
"No?"
"At all," she replied shaking her head. "But the point is, I went on a date. I'm dating again. And every girl has to kiss a few frogs before she finds her prince."
"Liv?"
"Hmm?"
"You just compared this guy to a frog."
She laughed as she dropped down on the sofa.
"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked as he sat down beside her.
"I don't know. Nothing. Anything," Elliot replied turning his head to stare into her eyes as she smiled.
"Nothing didn't bring you all the way across town in the middle of the night, Elliot."
They stared at each other in silence for a few moments.
"You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"
Olivia tipped her head and smiled unsure what he was talking about.
"I miss you," he said and her eyes widened. "I didn't realize how much I was used to you always being right there beside me….until you were gone. I miss that."
Her eye widened as she looked at him.
"I never realized how much I….took that for granted. I took it all for granted."
"I think we both did," she said softly.
Elliot reached up and brushed a bit of hair from her eyes.
"It's kind of weird, right?" he asked as she smiled. "Everything I see now, reminds me of you. Or is something I want to share with you, call and tell you about. I didn't realize how dependent I was on that bond that we had. That we still have."
"I know what you mean. I don't really talk to anyone anymore. I mean, I can talk to the guys I work with about cases, but I don't know them. Not enough to share anything about my personal life. Like with this date, I was all excited and nervous and….I don't have girlfriends….I don't really even have friends, other than you and the guys."
"You could have called me. You can call me any time. Tell me about your day. We are still friends, Olivia."
"I know. But it's different. You know? I don't know how, exactly. But….it's like the boundaries are different. The rules have changed."
"We're not partners anymore," he added as tears welled in her eyes. "Look, everything changes eventually. I can't count the things in my life that have changed over the last few months. I never thought I would come to terms with the fact that my marriage has ended. But you breathe and you just keep on living."
Elliot lowered his hand and closed it around hers.
"Liv, you and I are not ending anything. We're just changing things a little bit. We may not work side by side anymore, but we are always going to be friends. I am always going to be here for you, I promise you that."
"Elliot, you know, people who separate often get back together. Sometimes they just need some time to step back and think about things, to get a better perspective of the situation."
"So are you thinking someday you'll come back to the SVU? And I'll get my partner back?"
Olivia smiled a weary smile.
"Actually I was talking about things with you and Kathy."
"Kathy and I are over, Liv. We signed the divorce papers last week. We just have a few custody details to iron out, then it is final."
"Elliot, I am so sorry."
"It is what it is, I guess."
"Fifteen years is a long time. Not easy to get over," she said sweetly.
Elliot followed her into the kitchen as she poured them each a glass of wine, coffee just wasn't cutting it anymore.
"Seven years is a long time," he replied staring into her eyes. "I don't know, maybe that is why this is such a hard adjustment."
"It feels like a break up."
He smiled and laughed a little.
"You were my work wife, Olivia. I spent more time with you over the last seven years then I did with Kathy our entire marriage."
"Then I left you," she said and he noticed the glisten of tears on her face.
"Hey," he said in a soft comforting voice. "You needed a break. I get that," he whispered as he wiped his thumb across her cheek.
"I never wanted to hurt you."
"Liv, honey, don't cry."
He gently wiped the tears from her face and tipped her head up to look at him.
"I'm not mad," he said as he stared into her eyes. "And I don't hold it against you."
His palm rested against her cheek as she closed her eyes for a moment. She raised her hand and placed it over his, then opened her eyes to look at him once more.
There, now, like so many other times was that longing look in her eyes. But this time, Elliot chose not to ignore it.
He leaned in slowly and pressed his mouth to hers. First in a soft sweet kiss, then once more parting his lips against hers as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Her hand shuttered in the shock of the moment and the glass of red wine slipped from her fingers and shattered in the floor around her bare feet.
Olivia stood there with her eyes closed, trembling in the nervous excitement of the moment. It was something she knew they had both thought about for a very long time and this was the farthest they had ever gone together. The attraction between them was no secret, but they had managed to keep all of these feelings repressed for years and now the dam had broken and everything was flooding in around them at once.
Her eyes fluttered open to stare into his and she gasped to catch her breath. Her jaw trembled just a bit as she laid her hand against his arm. Elliot let his hand drop to rest on her waist and watched her carefully for a cue. He stood silently, patiently waiting for her to let him know if she wanted this to go any further.
"Elliot," she whispered as she raised her eyes to look into his. "We can't."
"Is this what you want?"
"I…we can't."
"My marriage is over. And we are not partners anymore," he whispered.
He smoothed his palm over her cheek and gazed lovingly into her eyes.
"We can," he assured her with a nod. "Olivia, if this is something you want, there is no reason that we can't take a chance on it."
"Is this what you want?"
"Yes," he replied with a smile knowing for the first time in months exactly what he wanted from life. "If it is what you want. I'm crazy about you."
He watched as she began to nod her head.
"I want this, too."
Elliot smiled as he leaned forward and kissed her once more. He picked her up in his arms and carried her down the hall to the bedroom. Laying her across the bed, he laid down beside her. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was just as nervous as he was. He pressed his hand against hers and raised them to lock their fingers together.
She smiled and raised up on her elbows to look him in the eyes.
"Kiss me," she whispered with a flash of her beautiful smile.
He laid down over her as their kissed heated up. Olivia moaned and closed her eyes as he slipped one hand up under her skirt and caressed her thigh. She twisted his tie in her fingers then dropped it into the floor beside the bed and began to unbutton his shirt.
She pressed her lips together as she moved her fingers over every muscle in his bare chest. Then she smiled nervously as Elliot unzipped the back of her dress and pulled it away from her body. He kissed her tenderly, then stepped back from the bed dropping his pants into the floor with her clothes.
Olivia watched as he raised the blankets and crawled into bed beside her. They laid there together for a moment, her in her sexy black bra and panties and him in his blue pin striped boxers.
"You're trembling," Elliot said holding her body close to his and kissing her tenderly. "Are you nervous?"
"A little," she confessed.
"We don't have to do this right now," he whispered and she laughed nervously.
"It kind of feels like the first time," she said trying not to sound like a complete fool.
"It kind of is. For us anyway."
"I guess so," she whispered smiling just a little embarrassed.
"We can wait, you know."
"I think we've waited long enough," she whispered kissing him as he scooted closer to her and they began kissing once more.
They kissed and touched and kissed some more. It was the hottest thing either of them had experienced in a long time.
"I don't have anything," Olivia suddenly realized. "Like a condom. Do you?"
"Do you have any idea how long it has been since I've bought condoms."
"You guys didn't use….?"
"We had four kids before I could even convince her it was okay to get on the pill. The whole Catholic thing."
"Elliot, I'm…I'm not…."
"Catholic?"
"On the pill," she laughed nervously.
"Really?"
"I haven't had sex in…." she caught herself before revealing any details that would make this moment more awkward. "I had no reason to be."
He closed his eyes to try to think.
"There's got to be an all-night pharmacy…" he said as thunder boomed right on cue.
"I just ruined the moment, didn't I?" Olivia asked pulling the sheet up around her.
"No. You were the only one thinking smart. If we went forward with this without protection…I really doubt you want our first time together to be remembered as the night I knocked you up. I have one hell of a track record," he said smoothing his hands over his face and clearing his throat. "You want me to move to the couch?" he asked staring at her in the dark as she smiled.
"No. We can still be together," she said settling in against him. "We will just save the sex for another night."
Elliot kissed her as he closed his arms around her.
"I'll make it up to you I swear. We'll plan a romantic night with wine and dinner. You deserve romance," he whispered as he kissed her forehead. "And I'm gonna make sure you get it. I'm just glad we didn't take off the underwear, because it would have been a lot harder to stop."
Olivia smiled and pressed her mouth to his.
"Something tells me it will all be worth the wait."
"Definitely," he agreed kissing her once more.
