I just felt like writing something in between. Hope you enjoy it.
Before the battle of Yavin:
She didn't know where to go after the briefing. They all knew the next couple of hours were crucial to their future. Walking through the hanger, she looked at all the x-wings getting prepared for the flight. Not wanting to get into their way, she kept walking and found herself in front of the carrier that brought her into the temple after leaving the Falcon.
What a weird day it has been. She thought as she sat down on it, looking around. Everything seemed different after her experience on the Death Star. Everybody looked at her differently.
"Shouldn't you be in the medcenter?"
A ruff, deep voice startled her out of her thoughts. Turning around she came face to face with the very annoying, but at the same time very handsome, pilot who helped to rescue her. "What?" She asked to stall.
"The medcenter?! I thought royalty has priority."
He asked carrying a big box on his shoulder.
"What is that?" She asked pointing at the box.
"They did let you see a doctor, right?" He tried once more, ignoring her stalling.
"I…I don't think this any of your business captain." She argued back.
"No I guess you're right. So?" He kept on pushing, putting down the box.
She turned away from him, not knowing how to react. Nobody really asked her if she needed to see a doctor, yet. She arrived and went back straight to business. Everybody looked at her like she was going to break at any moment but nobody had the guts to ask her how she was doing. Of course, it was her fault more than anybody else's.
No time for sentiments. Was what she said when they mentioned Alderaan.
That was her usual way of dealing with things and yet she found herself being faced with the questions of a stranger, a scoundrel, a pirate, a mercenary who seemed to care about her wellbeing. "Hey you're okay there your highness?"
The pirate sat down next to her. Startled by the sudden closeness, she jumped up from her seat and ran away from him.
Han looked after her, confused and concerned at the same time. Chewie came up behind him, grunting at his friend.
"Alright, Alright lighten up pal!" Getting up, he took the box his friends gave him and put it on the carrier.
…
When Luke told her about Han leaving she was relieved. Of course, he would have been a great help for the rebellion, but she had the feeling he would only mean trouble for her.
Who was he anyway? He should mind his own business, right?!
Pacing the control room, she couldn't help but think about him. Sure, he was handsome, but that was no reason for him to interfere with her business.
Get a grip Organa, no time for this. She told her herself, sitting down in front of the controls for a moment. Thinking about her parents, her heart ached and her stomach feel like she was going to be sick. She felt like throwing up, but before she could get up to run outside, she got called by the commander. "Your highness, it is time."
"Right…" She replied, got up and walked over to battle control. Back to business.
…..
We won! Luke made it! …He came back! Leia took a deep breath standing at the controls.
"Princess?" Someone asked behind her, but she didn't really react. "You want to join us?"
That someone asked. "Go ahead. I will be right behind you."
She answered still not knowing who was she answering to. Taking another deep breath, her sickness came back and she managed to just grab a bin to lose the little she had in her stomach. She hadn't something to eat since they arrived on Yavin. And she only ate a ration bar, because Han insisted. Nobody will starve on my ship. He said, handing her a glass of water and the ration bar. Seeing the look on his face, she gave in and actually ate.
Nevertheless, it wasn't much, so the rest that came out of her now was a mixture of blood and some other kind of liquid.
Coughing afterwards, she wiped off her mouth on her sleeve and sat down again. She remained there for a few minutes, till she heard the cheers coming from the hanger.
They are back! She thought, checking herself in the reflection of a shutdown console before running outside to welcome back the new heroes of the rebellion.
…
She didn't plan to run into his arms, when she entered the hanger. But seeing him, she couldn't help it. Having shared a joyful hug with Luke before, it felt differently with Han.
For the first time since month, years actually she felt safe. It was a short feeling, before realizing it, getting nervous because of it and being distracted by a damaged R2 and an annoying Threepio.
Everybody celebrated the big victory. While she felt happy at first, the feeling soon changed, not being distracted by a war any more. Of course, it wasn't over. They still had an Empire to fight, but for the night there was nothing else to do for her.
She sat in a corner of the big hall and watched everybody enjoying themselves.
Being startled once again by the deep, rough voice of a certain Captain, she almost jumped from her seat. Also, she was facing the crowd she didn't see him approaching.
He sat down across from her blocking her view.
"How are you doing princess?" He asked, a crooked grin on his face. For a second she thought she even saw a glimpse of concern in his eyes, but that must have been her imagination.
"Shouldn't you enjoy the party, captain?" She asked, once again avoiding his question.
"I asked first." He winked at her, taking a sip of his drink.
"I'm glad we won." She answered holding his gaze, not allowing herself to appear weak.
"Not a bad of a rescue, right?" He grinned, leaning back in his chair.
"Well I have to hand it to you. You sure have a way to boost your ego, captain." She teased, not knowing where this came from. Seeing the grin on his face turning into a frown, she regretted it in an instant.
"If that is how you think about me, go ahead your whorshipness."
Taking another sip of his drink, he looked at her for a moment, before leaning forward getting the chairs feet front back to the ground.
"So? What did the doctor say?"
"If you haven't noticed we had a war to run, captain." She tried, but knew he wouldn't bite.
"Oh believe me I've noticed. Took a couple of hits too you know, saving the kids ass for your oh so important cause."
"I make sure you get paid, don't worry." Was her response, reaching for his glass, needing something hard, if this conversation was about to continue. Before she could take a hold of it, he took it first, downing it in one go, keeping his eyes on her.
"You need to see a doctor first!" Was all he said, before he got up and left her behind. She remained sitting for a moment, before storming after him.
Following him through the crowd, she was ready for telling him what she thought about his interfering. Almost running into him when he stopped and turned around to face her, she was lost for words for a moment.
"The medcenter is the other way princess." He said, looking down at her.
"Who do you think you are? Interfering with my life! It's my life not yours! And I decide if I need to see a doctor or not, so stop bothering me about it!" She barked at him.
Not being startled by her, he leaned down close to her ear.
"Sweet dreams princess." He whispered into it, brushing his lips against her ear, sending shivers down her spine. Before she could response, he kissed her on the cheek and left her standing by herself, leaving the temple on his way to his ship.
It was the first time since weeks, she got some sleep. When she woke up early the next morning, she was surprised to wake up without a single nightmare.
…
After getting ready she sat in the control center alone, while everybody else seemed to have breakfast in the cantina or was still sleeping off last night of victory.
She still couldn't bring herself to enjoy the victory. It just didn't feel right. Sitting alone in the control room, she held her stomach, still not feeling any better.
"You know if you would eat, the stomach would get better."
Although she was surprised of him being there, she didn't act on it this time.
"I'm surprised you're still here captain." Was her response, without looking up at him.
"I was but your people thought they want to give me a medal."
He grinned, sitting next to her, putting his feet up the controls and leaning back in his chair.
"My people?" She asked, looking down to her hands.
"Well…I meant…" Sensing his nervousness, she looked up at him with a weak smile.
"I know what you meant…" Was all she said, looking back down to her hands.
Looking at her for a moment, he leaned forward to get something out of his pockets.
"Want one?" He asked, offering her a ration bar. Looking up, their eyes met for a moment, before she looked back down to her hands. "I'm not really hungry."
He just nodded and put the ration bar next to her on the console.
"Just in case you change your mind."
He offered, before getting out another ration bar for himself. Peeling off the paper, he couldn't help but look at her.
"You know I have real food on board the Falcon if you feel like it!?"
"What is it you want?" She asked looking up.
"Only trying to be nice. Besides I was wondering what you thought about that medal thing? Since you have to hand it to me and all!? They even mentioned a ceremony."
"If they think you deserve it, I'm sure you do." Was her reply before she looked down to her hands again.
Getting his feet off the console, he sat up straight.
"What do you think? Do I deserve a medal?"
He asked, tension in his voice, while he stared at her, waiting for an answer.
"I'm not sure it will help your big ego, but I think what you did for Luke and for the Rebellion deserves our thanks." She smiled at him, but the smile was a weak one he could tell.
"A friend needed my help and I came, but don't think for one moment this about the Rebellion." He replied, the anger in his voice obvious.
"Well then, I'm sure you can use the reward!" Was all she said, before standing up and walking away to leave the control center. What is it he wants anyway? She asked herself before her legs gave in and she broke down to the ground, spitting out another mixture of blood and liquid.
Han was at her side in an instant, making sure she didn't choke on it.
"That's it, I'm getting you to the medcenter." Was all she remembered hearing him say, before she lost her conscious.
….
When she woke up, her eyes had trouble adjusting to the light. She was laying on a med-bunk that much she could tell.
"How are you doing?" She heard a familiar deep voice across the room.
Seeing Han sitting across from her in a big chair, she self-conscious pulled her blanket up to her chest.
"Don't worry Sweetheart, nothing I haven't seen before. Besides I'm not the medic-dress-kind. Although I have to say you can defiantly pull it off."
He winked at her, before getting up to carry the chair closer to her bed, sitting back down.
"I've told you, you need to see a medic." He sighted, leaning back in his chair.
"What did they say?" She asked, her mouth dry. Before he answered her question, he handed her a glass of water.
"You were dehydrated and leaking of any kind of vitamin, instead filled up with drugs."
After helping her with the glass, he sat back down in his chair, looking at her for a moment.
"I think it is a miracle you're still alive." His eyes showed poor concern and nothing else. She couldn't bear to look at him, so she leaned back and closed her eyes.
They sat in silence for a moment, before a medic came in, followed by two security guards.
"I say it once more. If you don't leave they will take care of you." The medic warned.
"Well that's too bad, cause I ain't leaving!" Han replied, making himself more comfortable on his chair. Leia looked back and forth Han and the medic and seeing the look on the guards faces, made her feel unconfutable. "Please leave." Leia said, her voice still weak. Han looked at her in shock, hurt obviously showing in his eyes. "You heard her majesty."
The medic said, stepping forward, the two guards close behind.
"Captain Solo can stay. I want you and your two guards to leave me alone!"
Leia would've yelled at them, but her voice was not ready yet.
The doctor looked at her in shock and the grin on Han's face grew as big as can be.
"Well you've heard her, leave!" He said, proudly leaning back in his chair.
"But…I have to take some blood from her to see if she is doing better."
Seeing the fear in her eyes, Han looked at her for a moment. "I can do that." He offered, sitting back straight. "You?" The doctor asked, suppressing a laugh.
"Sure…I've done it before. Piloting a ship also means taking care of your inmates."
He shrugged.
"I'm not sure if…" the doctor started, but got interrupted by the princess.
"I want him to do it." She said, sitting up straight. "But your majesty?"
"I want you to leave me and Captain Solo alone." She ordered in a tone that allowed no arguing.
The doctor looked at her for a moment, before turning around and leaving the room, the two guards on his heels.
What followed was silence, both not sure what to say next. Surprising both of them, Leia was the one breaking the silence this time. "Thanks!" Was all she said, before another moment of silence followed.
"So let's see how your blood test goes." He sighted, getting up to get the instruments ready.
"What?" She asked in shock, pulling her blanket even tighter around herself.
"Han I didn't mean it when…" She started, but he stopped her.
"Don't worry princess, I know what I am doing." He smiled, searching a drawer.
When he found what he was looking for, he sat down next to her on the side of the bed.
She pulled her legs up her chest and backed away. "Please don't."
Han looked at her, thinking. "I was afraid of needles once." He admitted.
"Han please don't try to…" She began, not needing anyone's pity, especially not his.
"I grew up living on the streets, so needles always meant trouble. There were those guys running around, getting little kids hooked on drugs. They once cornered me, when I was about 12." Putting down the instruments for a moment waiting for her to relax.
"What happened next?" She asked, curious. Even though he told her one of the most horrific story a little boy could have lived through, she was glad to think about someone else's troubles for a moment and not having to face her own.
"They got me hooked." He shrugged, getting back to the equipment. "One night it got me so bad I thought about ending my…well it got me really bad. I ended up in medcenter."
Leia had to control her tears from falling down, imagining a little boy hooked up on drugs.
"So when this nurse came to take a blood test I was freaking out." He admitted, smiling at her. Enjoying seeing her face copying his smile, he continued.
"Well this nurse taught me a trick you know!? I would like to show you if you don't mind."
Not knowing what she got herself into, she just nodded.
"Alright, first you have to free yourself from this blanket, princess." He smiled and encouraged her. She took the blanket off her and found herself already relaxing.
"Now you take a few deep breaths." Keeping their eyes locked, his expression calmed her even more. "Okay take two deep breaths and then you have to smile."
He took her hand in his but she didn't mind, already transfixed.
"You have beautiful smile; did anyone ever tell you this?" He winked at her. Seeing the blush, forming on her face warmed his heart, like nothing had before in his life. Feeling the nervousness creeping up himself, he concentrated on the task in front of him and rubbed her hand with his thumb.
"Alright now…keep looking at me and I will count to three. I want you to say something nice to me by three, alright?"
Having to giggle at that she kept her eyes locked on him. If he thought her blush warmed his heart, it was her little giggle, that burned up his heart. Clearing his throat, he smiled at her. "You're ready?" He asked her. She just nodded. "Okay one, two, three…"
"You're handsome!" She blurred out shocked about it the instant the words left her mouth.
Seeing his expression on his face change to something he never saw on a men's face before, she started to blush again, looking shyly down to her feet.
He tipped her head up with his hand, so she had to look back up at him. It took her a moment to realize it but he was holding up the test-tube, filled with her blood, grinning.
"Well done sweetheart." They smiled at each other for moment, before they got interrupted by Luke and a couple of Generals entering the room. "Princess are you alright?"
One of the older ones asked. Han lead go of her hand and backed off behind the crowd that formed around her bed. She pulled back up her blanket, feeling the discomfort return.
"The doctor just informed us about your condition. We would have come earlier if we knew of course."
Leia wasn't really listening. She was watching Han leaving the room.
…..
She next saw him at the medal ceremony. Following her usual way of living, she went back to business only a couple of days after he brought her to the medcenter. Even though Luke came to visit her every day, she felt kind of hurt that Han hadn't shown up again. Even Chewie came by for a visit, which calmed her worries a bit, knowing that he hadn't taken his leave. She tried to ask Chewie what his pilot was up to, but she did not understand his answer, so she asked Luke the third day he came to visit her.
"He is busy working on his ship. It took some pretty bad hits during the battle."
He explained before keeping on telling her about excited he was that he was a part of the Rebellion now and was allowed to fly. "I always dreamed of flying when I was a little kid." He continued, but Leia wasn't really listening. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get Han out of her head. Come on get a grip. He is going to leave anyway. No reason to get too attached.
Focusing back on Luke, she smiled at his enthusiasm, but couldn't help to wish a certain scoundrel would show that sort of enthusiasm about her cause.
….
She had to smile, seeing him walking towards her at the medal ceremony. Not having seen him for more than week now, she couldn't stop herself from feeling happy to see him. The look of pride on his face and the intensive stare she received from him all his way up the aisle, made her blush once again and she turned her attention to Luke for a moment to calm down.
Seeing her blushing again and seeing the smile she had on her face when their eyes met told him it was the right thing to stay for a while longer. When the wink had the intended effect, he decided to stay more than just a little while longer. Facing the crowd of rebels and hearing the cheering he felt ridicules. This wasn't the kind of recognition he was usually going for, but the kid had talked him into it, so he went along.
"Care to take a walk princess?" She heard him come up from behind. Before she turned around she had to hide the smile that came up hearing his voice.
"Ditching your own party captain? That's not very nice." She teased, turning around.
"Well I was wondering if you care to dance with me for a change, but you were gone before I even had the chance to ask you." He replied, stepping closer.
"I think I'm done dancing tonight."
"That's too bad." For a moment, she thought she saw disappointment in his eyes.
"But I'd like to go on that walk." She replied, just happy to spent some time with him.
"Alright, you want to go outside for a while?" He asked, stepping closer.
"Sure…" They both shared a shy smile before leaving the party together.
They walk in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's presents.
"So how is your ship doing? Luke told me it took some hits during the battle?"
She interrupted the silence. "She is alright now. What about you?" He asked leading the conversation to Leia. "I…I'm fine. Nothing to worry about, just some normal problems coming out of captivity." She tried to play it down, like always. Showing weakness especially to him, was not something she would allow herself to.
Han stopped and looked at her for a moment, reading right through her.
"Really I'm fine. Go ask the medic." She tried desperately to explain, but her voice gave it away. He let his head hang down for a moment, running his hand through his scruffy hair and taking a deep breath. The look he gave her when he looked back up, almost made her legs give out. "Leia…I think you're lying. Not only to me, but also to yourself."
Holding his intense gaze for a moment, she put all her defenses up.
"What do you know? Nothing, so stop talking to me like you would!"
She spat out, anger rising. "Oh I know enough. What did they do you? Ha? I do know this: They not only destroyed your home planet and killed all your family and people, they also tortured you. They drugged and raped you, Leia! Wake up and face it! You need help for kriffs sake!"
His voice rose as he looked at those empty eyes staring back up at him.
"How do you know all this?" She asked, trembling.
"I've read your medical files and I do know how those bastards treat their prisoners." He replied this time in a much calmer voice, seeing her eyes filling up with tears.
"You had no right to read my medical files Captain Solo! How dare you to invade my privacy in such a way!?" She was now the one yelling, only relieved that they were in the middle of the forest, where nobody else could hear them.
"Somebody had to do it, since you lie to yourself about it! I mean look at you Leia! You're a mess! Giving out medals, entertaining every general on the party, pretending like nothing happened! This isn't healthy! You will end up dead. Is this what you want?"
"What do you care?" She barked right back, not able to hold back her tears.
"I do care." He took a step closer, but she only took one step back.
"Why don't you leave? Go back to your hang of junk and leave for good! We don't need you here anymore! The battle is over, you received your reward now you can go back to your life and stay out of mine!" She turned around and left him standing there, running back to her room on the rebel base, where she collapsed on her bed, crying her heart out.