Please note that this fan fiction was written as a Christmas present to a friend of mine, not for a bigger audience, so jokes may not make sense. It was also originally written in Norwegian, and some points could be lost in translation. There are notes at the bottom of the page where I felt explanations were needed. For those who know Norwegian, the Norwegian version of this story will be uploaded as a second chapter. It's better in Norwegian, so you should really read it. I even translated all the names. And lastly, don't ask me how this story happened to be. I honestly don't know.

Chapter 1

Magneto had been a bad father. It was something he had always known, but never dared to do anything with. After all, it was too late now, wasn't it? That was what he had always believed, until one morning. Everything seemed normal, this November morning, when he sat by his table and had a slice of bread with liver pâté for breakfast(high in iron). Magneto was slowly reading through the paper and took note of all the terrorist actions going on around the world, not without a hint of pride, when an advertisment caught his attention. An advertisment that would change his life forever. "Kindergarten in New York bankrupt-Needs new owners".

Money wasn't a problem. It's amazing how much mone you can gain by just selling that asteroid and buying a flat instead. So this was not what stopped Magneto from living his dream of raising children. No, the problem was far deeper than that. He just wasn't sure if he was the right person. His children had a sad tendency to fuck things up, and this could very well be genetic. But what if it was his influence as a responsible adult that had shaped them? What if he would only end up hurting the little angels he was supposed to look after? What if he simply didn't have anything to do with kids? After much back and forth, Magneto decided that it wasn't so important anyway.

The former owners weren't quite certain about Magneto. When they were handing him the keys to the kindergarten, they scrutinised him with a distrustful human look. His strict and critical look did not seem suitable to take care of children, and the outfit only made it worse. Could they really trust him, a former terrorist in a red cape? They didn't think so, but he paid them a lot of money, and that was the most important thing when it all came down to it. So the former owners gave him the keys and wished him good luck. The scary man couldn't possibly last more than a few weeks at most. After they had left, and Magneto stood there by himself, alone in the empty kindergarten, he started thinking. Who should he hire? What former allies and enemies were fit for this line of work? Magneto realised the dark truth. He had to go through with interviews.

Very few candidates seemed promising. Magneto had work with and against many people during his life, but he didn't trust many of them. The Brotherhood had been a bunch of servile idiots, who could only do the simplest of tasks. The Master of Magnetism could not go as low to hire humans either to look care of the innocent, little children, so there was really just one option left. He had to hire X-Men and -Women. The fewest of them were suited. Some were too spiky, some were too frozen, and some just wanted to throw cards. In the end Magneto was left with three employees: Cyclops, Jean Grey and Wolverine. They were not particularly well-suited either, but he had to make do.

And then came the day when the kindergarten was to reopen. The Mayor was there to cut a piece of fabric and journalists from all around town were there to look. Who would have thought that Magneto, the big and dangerous man, would open a kindergarten? No one had pictured something as cute and innocent as that. Perhaps it was a very dangerous and stupid idea, and that was why no one had imagined. Only time would tell. So there stood Magneto and his three employees outside the kindergarten, each one more awkward than the next. Luckily, the ceremony was short, so everyone could soon go home again. But for Magneto, Cyclops, Wolverine and Jean Grey, this was the last day of their former lives. They really had no idea what the next day would bring.

And while this was going on, far away, in the distant country of Transia, a young man sat in front of his computer. A news report showed up on his facebook feed. "Irresponsible idiot to work with youngsters"*. He quickly clicked on the case and tapped his desk, annoyed at the slow internet. After what had felt like an eternity, he got the picture and text on his screen. The young man read it in a moment and then turned around. He had to pack for a long trip...

Chapter 2

On this particular morning, Magneto was woken by an alarm clock on the table next to his bed. This would be the first morning of his new life. Alarm clocks had always been a problem for Magneto; his powers had a tendency to knock them out, and then they didn't ring. But for this special occasion he had made sure everything would work perfectly. He rose from bed and got dressed. Many would probably disapprove of him wearing his famous villain costume when working with children, but for Magneto, this was an obvious choice. Mainly because it was the only outfit he owned. After a quick breakfast, Magneto levitated towards the kindergarten, only a few quarters away from his new centrum flat. His three employees were all in place and ready to do something good for the citizens of tomorrow. After half an hour of preperations, the first parents started showing up with their little ones, most of them more than a bit sceptical. But Magneto promised he would take good care of their children, and what more could they ask for?

It is not easy taking care of children. They run around, screaming and in general, they are not very well-behaved. Magneto spent some time taking care of them, but he also had to evaluate his employees. He concluded that he was mostly satisfied. Jean Grey was great with children, something one could expect form a telepath. She understood them and they understood her. Nothing to report there. Cyclops was less good than his partner, but he managed most of the time. He sometimes got a bit loud, but was otherwise okey. Wolverine was a completely different story. The children wanted to play with his fluffy hair. He did not want this, and phone calls had to be taken to calm down shaky parents. Magneto did not know for how long he would keep Wolverine. Hopefully it wouldn't be long.

After closing time, when all the children had gone home, the employees had to tidy the place up. Magneto had gone home to write a log from the day that had passed, and let his three protegees stay behind to work. If he had stayed, he would have overheard this conversation...

"Wolverine, no! We should really stop this... We will never manage to keep it secret..."

"Just follow me home... Just for tonight."

"But what if my lover finds out about it...!"

"Hush. Don't think of it, let us just enjoy each others' company."

The light in the hallway is turned of, and the two employees go home to his place.

Chapter 3

Some weeks came and went, and no one could say that Magneto's kindergarten, or Mag's cosy corner as many called it, was not a success. And he was reading about this in the paper one morning while drinking coffee, quite satisfied with himself. Then, as some sort of divine revenge against Magneto for being in a good mood, the door bell rang. He stood up to open the door, and in the time from he rose till he reached the door, the impatient guest had rung the door bell 15 more times. Magneto had understood who it was, it could not be anyone else, but he had still hoped for it until he opened the door. "Hello, Quicksilver." His son stood right outside with a suitcase in his hand, his chest rising and falling quickly due to his high pulse. "Hello father" answered the young man, quickly and coldly. Before Magneto could continue the conversation, the albino mutant was inside the house and laid flat on the couch. "I hear that you are making up for your sins," Quicksilver said, og Magneto at once became defensive. "Yes, you could put it like that, but..." The son interrupted his father before he could finish the sentence. "I did not do everything right with my daughter either. I wish to make up for it. I want you to give me a job." Magneto looked shocked at Quicksilver for what the latter experienced as hours.

The last week before Christmas was much work, so it was good that Magneto had his multitasking son at hand. Not just because there were many children to take care of, but something was amiss between the other employees. They sent each other strange looks, both flirtatious and cold, and Magneto swore silently, because he thought these people were past their hormonal youth. But no. Becuase of this Quicksilver had to do most of the work. Luckily the superfast man did not notice this, as time went so slowly anyway.

Once again two employees were left to close the kindergarten, and this time it was not difficult to hear them in the hallways.

"You're wrong, Wolverine is not like you think!"

"Jean, come back!"

"No, I am leaving now!"

The light is turned of, and they go in different directions...

Chapter 4

Quicksilver was not pleased. The other three who worked in the kindergarten had their private drama, fuck them, and Magneto avoided him at all costs. This was nothingn new, of course, but Magneto had admitted that he had started this kindergarten to "make up for his sins". But what was the point of taking care of other peoples' children, if he didn't want to see his own? After a long day, even longer for Quicksilver than the others, it was enough. He easily caught up with his fater, who tried to get home as quickly as possible, and stopped him in the hallway. This was the following conversation.

"Where are you going, father?"

"Home, Quicksilver."

"And what will you do at home?"

"Eat supper. Eggs(high in iron)."

"Without me. You left us! And instead of making it up to us, you are cuddling with little kids and hoping that it will make you a better person!"

They didn't get any longer before they heard a scream further down the hallway. "WHO AM I?!" Wolverine came running down the hallway, with wild eyes. He took Magneto by his arms and shook him. "WHO AM I, BUB?!" But before Magneto could answer either his son or Wolverine, the latter disappeared down the hallway. When he turned back to Quicksilver, the younger man had already left the place.

Chapter 5

Christmas was drawing close like a storm**. Magneto did not know if Storm actually could take such gigantic steps, but he thought it was a nice phrase. It had hurt him that his song did not feel any better about their relationship, and this was part of the reason as to why he wanted to arrange a Christmas lunch, both for the children and the employees. He had told the employees to come to work late on Christmas Eve, and then the children could help him cook. It would be perfect. One could ask if it was such a good idea to let small children cook, but Magneto could honestly say that he trusted this children more than some of the people he had hired. Some days after his meeting with Wolverine in the hallway after closing time, Wolverine came to work with pink hair. Well, that was also a way to cope with existensial crises, Magneto thought. Better than killing someone. Or become an escimoe.

Magneto woke up and looked at the calendar on the wall. December 24th***. The big day. He got dressed as usual and levitated to the kindergarten to greet the kids. Luckily everyone had remembered to bring aprons themselves, so they could immediately start baking gingerbread and prepare chicken(high in iron) and blood pudding(high in iron). The children were difficult to control, but with his charistmatic authority, Magneto managed to get them through the cooking. Everything was ready when the employees showed up, around 13 o'clock. But someone were missing.

"Where are Cyclops and Wolverine?" a confused Magneto asked Jean Grey. She reluctantly looked out of the window, where the two men were running together over a flowery meadow, towards freedom and love. "Oh," said Magneto. "That was unfortunate." To himself, he thought that it could explain quite a few things. And he was relieved. Now that the hungry Wolverine was gone, he was certain that there was enough food for everyone. They sat by the table and ate. After having eaten the main course, when all the little children were gobbling gingerbread, Magneto walked over to Quicksilver. "Son, I know I have not been a good father to you, and I hope you will forgive me one day. For the time being, I hope you will be satisfied with the special guest I invited." And in the very same moment as Magneto said this, the Stratos Cow came dancing into the room, "Can't Touch This" playing on full volume****. Everyone knew it would be a wonderful Christmas.

*The original headline in Norwegian was "Bombastisk bajas skal jobbe med barn", which can best be translated with "overly-dramatic clown/wild person to work with children". Difficult to make that sound catchy.

** "Å nærme seg med stormskritt"(To draw close with storm steps) is a Norwegian phrase meaning that something is coming closer at an alarming speed. I couldn't find a good translation for this pun.

***In Scandinavia, Christmas is celebrated on the 24th.

****The Stratos Cow/Stratoskua is the mascot for a Norwegian brand of chocolat, a blue, dancing cow. It's mainly known from a commercial where it danced to "Can't Touch This". This was meant as an obscure reference to Bova, the cow who also happened to be the midwife when Pietro and Wanda were born. Crazy times.