A/N: HELLO!! Sorry for the psycho moment, but I'm happy that it's finally Friday! I have a serious sun burn, a cold, and I'm really tired, but I thought I'd make you happy with this! It's my first ever all-dialogue oneshot! It's sort of about nothing, but I wrote this in my English class when I should have been paying attention to that movie . . . anyways, enjoy! By the way, it starts out with Lilly and then it switches off between her and Nick! It's totally and completely random, with a hint of fluff!
Disclaimer: No, I can't buy Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers (unfortunately), but I CAN believe it's not butter!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Popsicles
"Nick, it's a popsicle, eat it."
"I'm not eating it!"
"Why not?"
"You know why!"
"So?! Eat it anyways!"
"But it's gross!"
"It was just a fly, Nick."
"Exactly! It was a FLY!"
"You are way too paranoid about these things."
"No I'm not!"
"Well, just think of it as the five-second rule."
"The what?"
"Haven't you ever heard of the five-second rule?"
"No."
"When you drop a piece of food on the floor, they say it's still safe to eat if you pick it up within five seconds."
"LILLY!"
"WHAT?!"
"That's for dropping food! Not for when a disease-ridden fly lands on your popsicle!"
"It's not disease-ridden."
"What?"
"It's not disease-ridden."
"How do you know?!"
"Because, it's only a fly!"
"Yeah, but do you know where that's been?"
"Yes, Nick. I stalk a fly in all of my free time."
"I'm serious!"
"Maybe I am, too!"
"No, but . . . do you know what flies eat?"
"No, do you?"
"They eat garbage! GARBAGE!"
"And?"
"No fly can just hover over their food while they eat it."
"I can."
"Are you a fly? No!"
"You don't know what I do at night!"
"LILLY!"
"Sorry."
"But no fly can just stay flying above their food. They have to land."
"How do you know?"
"Because, I just do!"
"Fine, continue. Wow, that rhymed!"
"So the fly landed on a hunk of garbage, ate it, then came over and landed on my popsicle!"
"I think you should feel honored that the fly landed on your popsicle and not mine. Really, there are two delicious popsicles that are side-by-side, and the fly chose to land on yours!"
"You are so weird sometimes!"
"Yeah, but you love me for it!"
"True . . ."
"So . . ."
"So . . ."
". . ."
". . ."
"Are you gonna eat that?"
"LILLY!"
"Sorry! But if you're not going to finish that perfectly good popsicle, then there's no point in having it go to waste!"
"Fine . . . you can have it."
"Thank you, Nick!"
". . ."
". . ."
"Can you buy me a new one?"
"Nick! We're four miles away from our houses and I just paid six dollars for two popsicles! And my boyfriend won't just eat it because a fly landed on it!"
"Fine, I'll pay for it!"
"We're three miles away from Rico's. I'm not turning around."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"But I want another popsicle!"
"Gosh, you sound like a whiny three year old who was just told that they couldn't have a cookie!"
"Whenever Frankie does that, my mom or dad or Kevin usually cave in."
"Yes, but why can't Kevin ever come with you when you go to pet stores?"
"Because he's a sucker for 'the puppy dog pout' that Frankie has seemed to master. I think he's even teaching Joe!"
"Why do you think that?"
"Because three days ago, I wanted to go buy a smoothie, so I asked my mom and she said no!"
"And what does this have to do with Joe and the so-called 'puppy dog pout'?"
"Well, thirty minutes later, Joe asked for the exact same thing and my mom said yes! And then Frankie gave Joe the thumbs-up sign!"
"Poor Nicky!"
"Why did you just call me Nicky?"
"I heard that most girlfriends – especially girlfriends of famous people – give their boyfriends nicknames. Sort of stupid, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Don't do that again. It's creepy."
"Speaking of creepy . . ."
"What's creepy?"
"Those girls are giving me death glares! It's like they're shooting venom out of their eyes! Venom I tell you!"
"If looks could kill . . ."
"Oh my God, Nick! What if they try to kill me?!"
"They aren't going to kill you."
"How do you know?!"
"How did you know that the fly wasn't disease-ridden?"
"Touché. But still!"
"I'll protect you. Just think of me as Superman!"
"I'll think of you as the updated and much cooler Superman that doesn't wear his underwear outside of his pants."
"Yeah, then people would think I was weird!"
"Says the guy who was freaking out and wouldn't eat his stupid popsicle all because a fly landed on it!"
"Hey! If I had eaten that, it could have given me malaria or yellow fever!"
"Nick, the last yellow fever epidemic was in the early nineteen hundreds. It's not gonna happen!"
"It could!"
"Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you positive you don't want your popsicle?"
"Positive."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Nick?"
"Yes, Lilly?"
"I dropped your popsicle in the sand on accident."
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAT?!"
"How do you drop a popsicle that you were securely holding in your hand just a few seconds earlier?"
"I was distracted."
"By what?"
"Those girls are still glaring at me! Just because you picked me to be your girlfriend out of millions of girls world wide, it doesn't mean that they have to hate me!"
"Being a bit cocky, aren't we?"
"I'm allowed to have a big head every once in a while!"
"So am I!"
"Am I saying that you aren't?!"
"Well, whenever I get all egotistical, you yell at me!"
"That's because I want you to stay grounded and not get big-headed like Jake Ryan!"
"Hmm. I never thought of it that way. That's nice of you."
"You know me – sugar and spice and everything nice!"
"Have you suddenly become a Power Puff Girl?"
"Yup. Now I'm the girlfriend of someone famous, a fly, AND a Power Puff Girl!"
"You're pretty amazing aren't you?"
"I believe I am."
"For all I know, you could even be all three Dixie Chicks!"
"Exactly!"
"Speaking of musical talent, I-"
"We weren't talking about you!"
". . ."
"Sorry. Feel free to carry on!"
"I managed to get us tickets to go see Metro Station in concert. Wanna go?"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
"That depends . . . are you going to hurt me?"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
"Um . . . yes?"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
"Yup. I got the tickets this morning."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
"YES, LILLY, I THINK I'VE ESTABLISHED THAT I AM SERIOUS!! DO YOU WANT TO GO OR NOT?!"
"WHY DID YOU EVEN ASK?! OF COURSE I WANT TO GO!"
"Great! I thought you would like it!
"We should celebrate!"
"How?"
". . ."
". . ."
"I got it!"
"What?"
"POPSICLES!!"
"PERFECT!! LET'S GO!"
"I CALL THE GRAPE ONE!"
"LILLY! FINE, THEN I GET THE LIME FLAVORED ONE!"
"You do realize that we're right next to each other and we're yelling, don't you?"
"YES, BUT THIS IS MORE FUN!"
"Good point. UP, UP, AND AWAY!"
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
So that's pretty much it! I'm pretty happy with how this turned out and I hope I pulled a few laughs out of you! Tell me what you liked and what you didn't like. Tell me what I could change or improve. Tell me about your secret crush or your favorite color. Please R and R! Thanks!
peace, love, and Nilly!
Parakeet17