Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran or any characters.
Once upon a time there was a princess in hiding.
This princess wasn't your typical princess.
For one thing, she always dressed as a boy, which only encouraged her tactlessness.
This is what probably got her into the predicament in the first place.
There was only so often that a girl can be turned down before she gets angry.
If she was told one more time that a princess can't be an attorney...
Well, then she would personally shove whoever said it out the nearest window.
And that's what she had done; you can really only push a girl so much.
Tamaki landed quite nicely in a golden fountain, the splash was so large and beautiful that everyone in the palace came to see it.
But as amusing as pushing an idiotic Suoh dignitary out the window is, it tends to be frowned upon; even for a member of the royal family.
Haruhi was given a strong talking to by her father before being forced to babysit twin redhead boys.
Hikaru and Kaoru had to be the most devilish pair of twins the world had ever seen!
They were also the smartest seven year olds Haruhi had ever met; she discovered this after they reprogrammed her laptop to only run Linux.
And when they criticized her wardrobe she realized that they were also brats.
Since she didn't know how to deal with them she called in her good friend, Kyoya, to help.
He was able to bring them in line with his 'Shadow King' powers.
They had nightmares for weeks after he was done talking to them.
This brings us back to Haruhi going into hiding.
It turned out the twins were princes from a neighboring kingdom that held a grudge against the Kingdom of Fujioka.
When word reached the Queen of Hitachiin that Haruhi and her friend, Kyoya, were responsible the Queen jumped at the chance for war; Haruhi and Kyoya were declared enemies of the Kingdom of Hitachiin.
Because of this Haruhi and Kyoya disguised themselves as brothers and went into hiding in the Kingdom of Haninozuka, Haruhi changed her name to Hatori and Kyoya changed his into Kyouhei.
In the Kingdom of Haninozuka they found employment in the royal bakery, which was open twenty-four hours a day to satisfy the King's insatiable cake addiction.
Within a month Haruhi was the head baker and Kyoya was running the entire bakery.
Things were going great; maybe that's when they should've known that something would change their lives.
It all changed when King Mitsukuni asked to meet the baker who made such delicious cakes; upon meeting Haruhi he knew instantly that she was a girl.
"Did you think I wouldn't realize you're a girl, Hatori?" He asked quite kindly.
Haruhi looked anywhere but at the cute King as she answered, "Well, no one else did."
The King just smiled and said, "Your secret is safe with me."
"Why are you cross-dressing?" The King's cousin, Prince Takashi, asked bluntly.
Kyoya stepped forward for her; he looked at Haruhi for a moment before looking at Prince Takashi, "That's what Hatori likes best," he said coolly.
"I see," Prince Takashi said simply as King Mitsukuni dropped his crown and ran over, with tears in his eyes, to give Haruhi a hug. "That's so beautiful! You must be really self-assured!"
Awkwardly enduring the hug Haruhi replied, "Uh… Sure…"
Just at that moment Prince Yasuchika burst into the room, ready to challenge his brother to a duel. He was stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brother, King Mitsukuni, hugging a man they weren't related to.
"What are you doing now you alien freak!" Prince Yasuchika shouted!
King Mitsukuni leaned around Haruhi so he could see Prince Yasuchika. "I'm just hugging my bride. I did say I would marry the best cake baker in the Kingdom of Haninozuka didn't I?"
"Y-your what!" Haruhi stuttered, while trying to untangle herself from King Mitsukuni's grasp.
King Mitsukuni flashed Haruhi a brilliant smile. "You're beautiful, self-assured, smart, and a great cake baker. I loved you from the moment I first tasted your strawberry cream cake. Will you marry me Princess Haruhi?"
"Wha…? How do you know my real name?" She stared in open mouthed wonder.
King Mitsukuni giggled as everyone, except Prince Takashi, watched him in shock. "Silly Haruhi, I've been in love with you since we were children. I visited the Kingdom of Fujioka on my birthday one year and you made me a strawberry cream cake because I left my Usa-chan at home and was upset. I knew who you were as soon as I tasted your cakes here."
Reality dawned on her, "Hunny?" She said slowly.
King Mitsukuni squealed in happiness before kissing Haruhi for the second time.
"So how about it? Will you marry me Princess Haruhi?" He asked as he held her hands in his.
A soft, sweet smile creep across Haruhi's face. "Of course I'll marry you Hunny. I've loved you ever since you held me as I cried at my mother's grave."
"I'm happy for you both," Kyoya said unenthusiastically, "but there is the matter of the price on Haruhi's and my head…"
"The Kingdom of Haninozuka can defeat the Kingdom of Hitachiin any day." Prince Takashi said dangerously as he began to sharpen his katana.
Haruhi gulped, "Isn't there a less violent way of handling all this?"
"Let's throw a party!" King Mitsukuni exclaimed. "Once they realize the Kingdom of Fujioka is allying with the Kingdom of Haninozuka all threats will end!"
"And if they don't…" Kyoya motioned toward Prince Takashi, who was looking awfully intimidating with his katana.
There were nods of agreement all around the throne room, even from Haruhi. Soon the date was set, the wedding was in two weeks time.
The invitations were set and the preparations were made.
The Kingdom of Hitachiin was in an uproar at the news, but no one was more upset than the Queen of Hitachiin.
In a fury, she sent her personal messenger to demand that Princess Haruhi and Kyoya be brought to justice.
This did little good because the messenger, Sir Ritsu Kasanoda, fell immediately in love with Princess Haruhi and declared himself one of her protectors.
Further infuriated, the Queen of Hitachiin made her way to the Kingdom of Haninozuka herself.
She never made it. On her way across the border her guards turned on her. It turned out that Hikaru and Kaoru were tired of her evil ways, they also just wanted to be the youngest kings ever.
News of her demise spread quickly throughout the Four Kingdoms.
The wedding of King Mitsukuni and Princess Haruhi was now an even happier affair.
For years to come, people would talk of the love that glowed between them and the friendship they shared.
And so they all lived happily ever after, as soon as Queen Haruhi became an attorney, like her deceased mother.
Kyoya became court advisor, and Tamaki… No one ever rescued him from that fountain.
Author's Note: So, while nicluvly was at work and bored and while I was at home and bored we decided to tell a fanfic one sentence at a time. Each paragraph is one of us. The first one is mine and the second is hers, it alternates from there, with the last one being nicluvly. I hope you like it! There has been no editing or anything. I just retyped the text messages into a word document.
Thoughts from the Other Author: Oh... Uh... I blame -or thank- this on work boredom! Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
First Line is Enigmaticrose4, Second Line is Nicluvly.
Enjoy! Read! Review!