The Late Nightly Show with Hamnet
Mange Interview
Author's Note: My very poor attempt at comedy. This is a series of short sketches and interviews with TUC characters in the form of a talk show. And best of all, the host is Hamnet!
Announcer: Hellooooooo everybody! Welcome to a new show we like to call 'The Late Nightly with Hamnet.' And here's your host right now. Everybody give a bid hand to Hamnet!
*audience applauses as Hamnet enters the stage. He walks over to a microphone.
Hamnet: Wow, look at all of you. You're al so great! *audience roars* Come on, quiet down now. *audience hushes* We great a show tonight, a really great show. We're going to be talking to an old friend of mine who was in the only book Suzanne Collins was stupid- I mean nice enough to put me in. Everybody welcome Mange!
*audience applauses as a rat who has is missing the lower half of his body walks in. Hamnet backs up to a chair and takes a seat. The rat takes a seat on a couch parallel to him.
Hamnet: So Mange, how is it being dead?
Mange: What? I'm not dead.
Hamnet: Mange, you're dead.
Mange: I don't know what you're talking about.
Hamnet: Mange, you're dead. I can see you're skeleton.
Mange: *motions to lower half of body* Oh this, that's nothing. That's just a… minor injury.
Hamnet: Mange, you're dead. You're just in denial. You've been partially digested by giant Venus flytraps for god sake. How are you not dead?
Mange: Well, I crawled away eventually-
Hamnet: Mange…
Mange: and after awhile
Hamnet: Mange…
Mange: and… and after awhile I found out I didn't really need all of those major organs down there.
Hamnet: Mange just accept it, you're dead.
Mange: Well Hamnet, you're dead too.
Hamnet: What?! That… that's impossible, I'm perfectly alright.
Mange: Hamnet, you were killed by cutters. You have a hole in your body!
Hamnet: Oh, uhmmm this, *motions to massive wound* it's nothing really, just a minor injury.
Mange: The cutter's tore apart several of your major organs!
Hamnet: Well I guess you really don't need those, and I guess you don't really need a whole lot of blood either.
Mange: Hamnet…
Hamnet: Mange…
Mange: And by the way, how did you get all the equipment for a TV show? I though the Underland was pretty low tech?
Hamnet: Oh, all this stuff. It just… fell down a rain gutter and I got it from the museum.
Mange: So cameras, a studio, a stage, lights, all of this fell down?
Hamnet: Well… yeah.
Mange: And how did you get a studio crew and a studio audience?
Hamnet: Oh… they just fell down too.
Mange: So people just fell down a rain gutter too?
Hamnet: Yeah…
*a long awkward silence lasts for several moments.
Hamnet: You know what, let's just cut to commercial. Remember, I'm Hamnet and this is the Late Nightly Show with Hamnet. Bye for now! *Hamnet walks off stage
The End