Author's note: Though the Ghostbusters portion of this story was primarily inspired by Extreme Ghostbusters (hence the title tag), please be aware that the continuity is based on the new IDW comic book series. The date I've used has been borrowed from Fritz Baugh's timeline based on the series (and on other things that don't factor into this story), so thanks to you, Fritz, and to those bringing us the IDW series.

Extreme Ghostbusters/Quantum Leap: Being Elizabeth

Part 1

It was a typical family kitchen in which Dr Sam Beckett found himself holding a tea towel under a fast-running cold tap. Behind him, he heard two men engaged in a heated argument. Looking over his shoulder, the first thing Sam saw was a flaming frying pan on the stove. His eyes widened.

'Oh boy,' he said.

September 19, 1992

Without further delay, Sam threw his wet tea towel over the pan, and the fire went out without a fight. He glanced at the knobs on the stove, and saw that the gas had already been turned off. Then he turned to face the bickering men.

'Why does everything have to be my fault?' said the smaller and clearly younger of the two, who had a goatee and was wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

'Because everything is your fault!' said the larger one, who had a moustache and was wearing a police uniform. 'Every time you come down here, something happens!'

'That is such -'

'Guys, come on,' said Sam. 'It was just a little frying pan fire, and it's out now, so let's just calm down, okay?'

'Fine by me,' said the younger man, glaring at the older. 'Sorry, Beth.'

He spoke with a clear Latin-American accent. Sam thought he had detected a similar lilt in the older man as well, but it wasn't as strong.

'What's going on?' asked a boy of about ten, as he appeared in the doorway.

'Nothing, son,' the older man said. 'Go and do your homework until someone calls you for dinner.'

'How long will that be?' asked the boy, looking doubtfully at the stove.

'Well,' said Sam, turning and staring down at a pan of cold, rapidly congealing sauce, 'it looks like I've ruined dinner, so why don't you go and order a pizza?'

'Hey, cool!' said the boy, and he turned and ran from the room.

'See what happens when you distract her?' said the older man. 'I don't pay for that food for you to ruin it!'

'Hey,' said Sam, taking a step forward. 'I ruined the food, okay? And… now I'm going to clean it up. And I do have a name,' he added.

'Sorry, Beth,' said the older man, his tone softening.

Sam turned and began moving the pans off the stove. The older man left.

'Let me help you,' said the younger man. He grabbed the pan of sauce and a large spatula, and took them to the bin.

'Thanks…'

'Eduardo.' Al Calavicci had appeared, and was smoking a cigar a few inches to Sam's left.

'Eduardo,' Sam repeated.

'No problem,' said Eduardo.

'But you don't have to,' said Sam, glancing at Al. 'Why don't you go and, um…'

'What,' said Eduardo, 'make small talk with Carlos?'

'Maybe you could try talking out your problems,' said Sam. 'I think we'd all feel a lot better if you two could get along.'

'Talk out our problems while we're waiting for pizza?' Eduardo laughed mirthlessly. 'You're sweet, Beth, but it's not gonna happen.'

'You can't know that unless you try,' said Sam.

'Look, not today, okay?' said Eduardo.

Sam didn't know what else to say, and Eduardo clearly didn't want to talk, so Al took the opportunity to fill Sam in on some of the details.

'It's September nineteenth, nineteen ninety-two,' he said, 'and you're in Manhattan, New York City, New York. Your name's Elizabeth Rivera, and you've been married to Carl for twelve years. You used to work in payroll, but you gave it up when your son Kevin was born. Eduardo's your brother-in-law, who's just started his second year at college, and Ziggy says there's a ninety-three point seven percent chance that you're here to help him.'

'Here, I'll do that,' said Sam, shouldering Eduardo out of the way of the sink as he began trying to wash up the pans. 'Please just… go and relax. You're a guest.'

Eduardo looked at him, clearly confused. Sam returned the look with one of polite yet desperate insistence.

'Okay,' said Eduardo, and he went.

'He lives here,' said Al, 'in the apartment above the garage, like the Fonz.'

'So?' said Sam. 'He's still a guest down here. Why does he need help?'

'Well,' said Al, pulling his handlink out of his shirt pocket and jabbing at the buttons, which flashed and beeped in response. 'Because everyone else in this house is doing okay. In our time Carl's a sergeant, Kevin's an auxiliary cop, and Elizabeth -'

'Beth.'

'What? What about Beth?'

'That's what they call Elizabeth.'

'Oh. Oh, okay, Beth it is. You may be a woman again, Sam, but at least you got a good name.'

'And at least she wears pants,' said Sam. 'So what happens to her?'

'She goes back to school when Kevin starts high school, and now she's a qualified childcare professional. She takes care of the kids from a couple of local families during working hours. It seems like they're all happy enough. Eduardo, on the other hand, is about to step onto a slippery slope. His grades start to drop in the next couple of months, then he drops out of college and moves out, and he racks up a ton of debt which Ziggy says he'll never be able to pay off, especially since he can't stay in a job for more than a few weeks.'

'Well,' said Sam, 'I'm not surprised to hear that he moves out, if that's the way Carlos always treats him. They're brothers, right?'

'That's right,' said Al, still consulting his handlink. 'But call him Carl - that's what he goes by. Ziggy's not real happy about that - she had some trouble matching up his data. But she did it, and get this. The day before Eduardo drops out of college, he gets arrested by Carl.'

'Arrested by Carl? What for?'

'Um…' Al frowned down at his beeping and sputtering device. 'For resting… no, not resting… resisting… arrest. He's arrested for resisting arrest.'

'What?' said Sam. 'That's ridiculous. If he was resisting arrest, he must have been getting arrested to start off with, so what did he do?'

'There's no data on that. Whatever it was, nothing came of it. Eduardo was held at the station for a couple of hours, and then released without charge. Y'know, if that happened to me and I was living with the arresting officer, I think I'd move out too.'

'All right, so… maybe I just have to stop Carl from arresting Eduardo, and then he won't drop out of college and leave home.'

'No good, Sam,' said Al. 'Remember his grades start slipping soon, so there must be something wrong now, and anyway the arrest isn't going to happen until November. Unless you want to hang around here for eight weeks, we'll have to find another way.'

'Is that it?' said Sam. 'You can't give me anything more specific?'

'Not right now, but we'll get Ziggy to work on it. In the meantime, Sam, you'd better go see what you can do about keeping the peace. I'll see you later.'

Al pressed a button on his handlink, then stepped into the doorway that opened up behind him. With another push of the button, he was gone.

.-.-.

Pizza with the Riveras was an uncomfortable affair. Carl had insisted they eat in the dining room 'like a nice, normal family', yet no one spoke for a long time, and Eduardo and Carl kept glaring at each other across the table. Sam watched them timidly, while Kevin ignored them and worked way at his pizza.

'So, Eduardo,' Sam said at length. 'How are your new classes?'

'Fine,' said Eduardo.

'Fine!' said Carl, spraying Sam with half-chewed pepperoni and not even noticing. 'I can't understand why you're still wasting time and money in that stupid place.'

'Hold on a minute, Carl,' said Sam. 'College is not a stupid place, and if Eduardo's doing what he wants to do, then we should be supportive.'

'But he doesn't know what he wants to do!' Carl said loudly, banging his fist on the table. 'He's just a waster!'

'I'm sure that isn't true,' said Sam. 'Now, let's all calm down and try to have -'

'Dad was a cop!' raged Carl, rising to his feet. 'I'm a cop! It's your one chance to make something of yourself!'

'Oh,' said Sam, 'that's not -'

'No, your one chance, okay?' said Eduardo, also rising. 'I'm not like you, or Dad.'

So saying, Eduardo turned and stalked from the room.

'Don't you walk away from me!' yelled Carl.

'Carl, for God's sake, sit down!' said Sam and, to his surprise, Carl did. 'Thank you. Kevin, why don't you go and finish that in front of the TV? There's not much point all of us sitting round the table now.'

'Okay, Mom,' said Kevin, seemingly unfazed. He gathered up a large proportion of the remaining food in his arms, and carried it out of the room.

'I guess he's used to it,' said Sam.

'I guess so,' said Carl, staring down at his lap.

'Carl, why would you want to force Eduardo to be your father?'

'Because what the hell else is he going to do? It's in his blood.'

'Carl, come on, he's a grown man. I think you should start being more supportive.'

'You think what?' said Carl. 'I don't take orders from you, Beth. He's my brother, and I know what's best for him.'

'Clearly you don't,' said Sam, just as Al appeared in the corner of the room and beckoned to him. Sam got to his feet.

'Don't you walk out of here too!' said Carl.

'I don't take orders from you either, Carl.'

'Bathroom,' said Al, as Sam passed him.

.-.-.

By the time Sam found the bathroom, Al was there waiting. Sam took the opportunity to look into the mirror on the wall cabinet, and saw that Beth was a blue-eyed blonde.

'She's pretty cute, isn't she?' said Al. 'And she's real nice too. One of the friendliest people we ever had in the waiting room.'

'Why is someone like her married to a jerk like Carl?' Sam asked. 'You know, Al, it's one thing you telling me things were different in the fifties and sixties, but this is the nineties and Carl is not a good guy.'

'I hear you, Sam,' said Al, 'but he probably has a good side. Most people do. Maybe you'll see it when you go to bed with him in a couple of hours.'

Sam scowled. 'Great. Hopefully I can avoid doing that more than once. What do I have to do to get out of here?'

'Ziggy says there's a ninety-one point eight percent chance you're here to patch things up between Eduardo and Carl,' said Al, 'but she couldn't come up with any scenarios. She did turn up some information that might help, though. Carl and Eduardo's father was killed in July nineteen eighty-five. He died in hospital of a gunshot wound inflicted during a store robbery. He was a -'

'A cop, I know,' said Sam. 'At dinner, Carl was going crazy saying that Eduardo should be a cop like their father. He also said that Eduardo doesn't know what it is he wants to do. I guess he could be right about that. If he is, then maybe I'm here to help Eduardo figure out where he's going in life. Do you have anything else?'

'Nothing that seems relevant,' said Al, again consulting his handlink. 'Nothing major seems to have happened to them apart from their father's death, and that's clearly had quite an impact. But listen, Sam - after we first talked, I got Ziggy to run a search on Beth Rivera. She's always down as Elizabeth officially, but Ziggy found one record that refers to her as Beth. Get this. Tomorrow, you're going to call the Ghostbusters.'

'What?' said Sam. 'No I'm not! There are no such things as ghosts, Al, and anyone who thinks that there are is silly.'

'Silly, huh?' said Al. 'Surely you know better than to be so narrow-minded, Sam. Remember the vampire? And the mummy? Oh, and not forgetting the aliens, of course. Then there was the Bermuda Triangle stuff, and do you remember when you leaped into a parapsychologist? Boy, did that leap freak me out…'

'Okay, fine,' said Sam. 'Ghosts, maybe - just maybe - but Ghostbusters? I've heard about these clowns. They say they use scientific methods to trap ghosts, but that just isn't possible because ghosts aren't scientifically proven.'

'According to the Ghostbusters they are. Maybe this Dr Egon Spengler character doesn't think much of your time travel theory, but anyway, that doesn't matter. In the original history, Beth called the Ghostbusters, so that's what you're going to have to do tomorrow.'

'Why do I have to? If I don't, what's going to change?'

'Well,' said Al, 'imagine this. You don't call the Ghostbusters, and the ghost turns out to be an evil spirit that kills everyone in this house - including you, Sam. You, Carl, Eduardo and poor little Kevin. Then that sweet, kind, soft, blond mother is doomed to spend the rest of her life in the waiting room, while her only child lies rotting in his grave. Now, you wouldn't want that to happen, would you?'

'Of course not,' said Sam, 'but it isn't going to happen.'

'How do you know?'

'Because it's the most far fetched notion I've ever heard you come out with, and that's saying something, Al. You have no idea what you're talking about. Or are you about to tell me you did ghostbusting in the orphanage, as well as everything else?'

'Don't be silly, Sam.' Al pressed the button to open the imaging chamber door. 'I'll be back here tomorrow to keep an eye on you. Twelve thirty-seven - that's when the call to the Ghostbusters came in.'

'Look,' said Sam, 'why don't you worry about the ghosts and let me get on with helping the live people?'

'Bye, Sam.'

'Al?'

'What?'

'Do you know if I can talk to Eduardo alone tomorrow?'

'Well, let's see,' said Al, pressing some more buttons. 'Carl's name was down for the day shift on September twentieth ninety-two, and since it's a Sunday, Eduardo won't be going to any classes.'

'Perfect,' said Sam.

.-.-.

Early the next morning, Sam found himself cooking Carl's breakfast in a nightdress and slippers, while Carl was in the shower and Kevin was sleeping in.

'I hope you know how Carl likes his eggs,' said Al.

'He can have them however they turn out and like it,' said Sam. 'The guy's hopeless, Al! He just doesn't listen to anyone about anything! Does Ziggy know what to do with people like that?'

'Only if you do, Sam. You programmed her, remember. But listen, I have some more information for you.'

'Great. What is it?'

'According to Ziggy, your ghost is going to be found in Kevin's bedroom.'

'Not this again!'

'I thought maybe I should go up there and check it out,' said Al. He paused, then went on, 'Ghosts can't harm holograms, right? I guess it would definitely know I'm there. If animals and little kids can see me, then ghosts must be able to see me.'

'Al…'

'What?' said Carl, coming into the kitchen and making Sam almost drop his spatula.

'Al… have your breakfast ready in just a minute,' Sam said brightly.

'Thanks,' said Carl. He was holding a newspaper, which he shook out as he took his seat at the table.

'Do you have to read that?' asked Sam. 'I thought we could talk.'

'You sure can play the part of a wife, Sam,' said Al.

'About what?' asked Carl.

'Eduardo.'

'Beth, not this again…'

'What do you mean, again? You didn't want to talk last night. Look, Carl… I was thinking. If Eduardo were to -'

'Keep an eye on those eggs, Sam,' said Al, peering into Sam's frying pan. 'They're starting to look very poisonous.'

By the time the eggs got to Carl, they barely looked edible, but he ate them all the same and even expressed his thanks.

'I was just thinking,' Sam said, as he poured coffee for both of them, 'that maybe you'd feel better about Eduardo if he knew what he wanted to do. There are plenty of ways he can make something of himself, Carl. Maybe we can help him find the one that's best for him. All he needs is a little support from the people that love him.'

'Are you kidding?' said Carl. 'He doesn't want to doanything except slack off. You saw his grades last year - they were a joke!'

'Not all of them, Sam,' said Al.

'Not all of them,' said Sam. 'Carl, did it ever occur to you that the reason Eduardo disappoints you is because you expect him to?'

'What are you, a shrink now? You have to stop this, Beth.'

'I just want you to see that you have to let Eduardo find his own path in life.'

'That kid can barely find a matching pair of socks,' said Carl. 'I'm going to work.'

'Hey, no skin off my nose,' Al said to Carl's retreating form. 'What a nozzle. You were right about him, Sam.'

'Maybe I can make him listen if I make some progress with Eduardo today,' said Sam. 'What time is it - about eight thirty? I guess he's sleeping in, like Kevin. I'll bet Beth doesn't get to sleep in on weekends, whether Carl's working or not.'

'I'll bet you're right,' said Al. 'She probably does the laundry or something around now. You'd better hop to it, Sam.'

'You know,' Sam said, as he began to clear the table, 'I've been wondering, Al. Does Beth really want to be a housewife?'

'I guess so. She made that choice, Sam. There were plenty of housewives in the nineties, you know.'

'Oh, sure, I know that. I just thought that maybe she was doing what Carl expected of her. It sounds like she doesn't normally say what she thinks.'

'Well, maybe not where Eduardo's concerned,' said Al, 'but I don't think you need to worry about anything else. Remember, she's going to train in childcare in a couple of years - that sounds like a decision she'd make for herself.'

'Yeah, I guess,' said Sam. 'All right, so… I'll do the laundry and figure out what I'm going to say to Eduardo.'

.-.-.

'Sam, don't tell me you left a red sock in with the wash!'

'Don't be ridiculous, Al,' said Sam. He was in the utility room, crouching in front of the washing machine and staring at its contents. 'A red sock makes everything pink, not… veiny. Eugh. How am I going to get all this stuff clean?'

'Laundry on a Sunday?'

Sam jumped, bumped his head on the washing machine, then staggered to his full height saying, 'OW! Well, um, the hamper was full, so…'

As the pain in his head subsided, Sam saw that Eduardo was carrying a bag of clothing over his shoulder.

'But obviously I normally do your laundry on a Sunday,' said Sam.

'No you don't,' said Eduardo. 'I do my own laundry. Are you feeling okay, Beth?'

'Sam!' said Al. 'I just looked at the clock on the VCR, and it's twelve twenty-seven. You have to make that call in ten minutes!'

'Shut up!'

'Sorry,' said Eduardo, taken aback. 'I didn't mean…'

'I'm sorry, Eduardo, I didn't mean you,' said Sam.

'Then who…? Never mind. Let me help you unload. Whoa!' Eduardo's eyes widened as he pulled a crimson-streaked white shirt out of the washing machine. 'What happened here?'

'I have no idea.'

They continued to unload the machine, and a little investigation turned up a red felt-tipped pen in one of Kevin's pockets.

'Bummer,' said Eduardo. 'And you're normally so careful.'

'Right,' said Sam. 'Good moms always go through the pockets before doing laundry, so the kids never bother to empty them. I remember that now.'

'Will this come out?' asked Eduardo, staring at the ink-smeared clothes. 'Or do we need to get it dry-cleaned or something?'

'Let's not worry about that now,' said Sam. 'You do your laundry, okay?'

'Are you sure?'

'Sure I'm sure.'

'Twelve thirty-three, Sam.'

'Al!'

'What?' said Eduardo, looking up from the washing machine with the greatest look of astonishment that Sam had ever seen on the face of someone who'd heard him talking to himself.

'I'll fix you some lunch,' said Sam, 'if you'll agree to have a conversation with me.'

'About what?' Eduardo asked warily.

'Your future.'

'Oh. You too, huh?'

'I just want you to be happy,' said Sam, 'and I know Carl doesn't make that easy for you. I'm not saying I think you should be a cop, because you obviously don't want to, but I thought that if you could figure out more or less what you do want then Carl would be more understanding.'

'Are you kidding? Carlos has never understood me, or anyone who doesn't think exactly the same as he does.'

'Yeah, I kind of got that about him,' Sam said, hearing a slight thump overhead, and thinking nothing of it. 'But anyway, can we talk about it? I guess I should know how you're feeling right now. Payroll obviously wasn't my dream.'

Eduardo smiled at her. 'I don't think payroll is really anyone's dream, Beth.'

There was another thump.

'Sam, do you hear that?'

'I guess not,' said Sam, returning Eduardo's smile.

Another thump, louder this time.

'Man,' said Eduardo, 'what is Kevin doing up there?'

'Sam,' said Al. 'Kevin's in the living room watching TV.'

'I know,' said Sam.

'Are you going to tell me?' asked Eduardo.

'He's watching TV,' said Sam. 'In the living room. So I guess that's…'

'It's a ghost, Sam!' said Al. 'And it's twelve thirty-six - you have to make that call in one minute!'

'Only by the Ghostbusters' clock,' Sam said quietly.

'What?' said Eduardo.

'I guess it's the pipes or something,' said Sam.

'Yeah?' said Eduardo, looking doubtful as there came another loud thump, followed by a sound as though the entire contents of the room were shaking. 'I don't know. Maybe we should go check it out.'

'Call the Ghostbusters, Sam!'

Sam sighed. 'I guess maybe we should.'

.-.-.

The disturbance in Kevin's room was being created by a small, shadowy, scurrying creature of some kind. Sam, Al and Eduardo all stood in the doorway, attempting to follow the thing with their eyes, but it was too fast for them to keep up.

'Maybe there's more than one,' said Sam.

'More than one what?' asked Eduardo.

'It's a rodent or something,' said Sam.

'Use your eyes, Sam!' said Al. 'That is clearly some kind of monster from the deepest, darkest depths of Hell!'

'Do we have any rat poison?' asked Sam.

'I don't know.' Eduardo ventured into the room and peered under Kevin's bed.

'Call the Ghostbusters, Sam!' said Al.

'I could swear it's under here,' said Eduardo, peering further under the bed.

'Be careful,' said Sam. 'A rat bite can cause all kinds of -'

'Whoa!'

Eduardo rose to his full height and started backing rapidly away from the shadow that was suddenly oozing like slime from under Kevin's bed.

'How do you explain that?' asked Al.

'Trick of the light?' Sam said uncertainly. 'Oh boy.'

'Call the Ghostbusters, Sam!'

'AAH!' Eduardo cried, as a finger of shadow rose from the ground and grabbed his ankle. Sam stepped into the room, wrapped his arms around Eduardo's torso and pulled as hard as he could. After battling the shadow for no more than a few seconds, Sam was able to pull Eduardo free, and they fell in a heap just outside the door.

'Thanks, Beth,' said Eduardo, kicking the door shut as he got to his feet.

'Sam…'

'All right,' said Sam, 'I'll call the Ghostbusters.'

'The Ghostbusters?' said Eduardo. 'Seriously?'

'Do you have a better idea?'

'I guess not.'

They both made their way downstairs and through the hallway. Sam stopped at the phone, while Eduardo carried on into the living room.

'What's their number?' asked Sam.

'Hold on, Sam, I'll check,' said Al, whipping out his handlink.

By the time Sam had dialled the Ghostbusters' number, he could see the shadow seeping over the top of the stairs.

'Oh boy,' he said, speaking over the woman who answered the phone.

'Ma'am?' said the woman. 'Can I help you?'

'Uh, yeah,' said Sam. 'We got a, um…'

'Shadow monster,' said Al. 'Hurry up, Sam!'

Sam explained himself as best he could, stopping only to wait for Al to tell him his own address. By the time he put down the phone, the shadow was making a grab at him between the slats of the banisters. Sam ran into the living room, where he found Eduardo and Kevin both on the sofa. Eduardo was sitting right on the edge, looking tense, while Kevin was leaning back and still enjoying the ice cream Sam had left him with.

'Have you really called the Ghostbusters?' Kevin asked.

'Yes,' said Sam. 'We have to get out of here - it's on the move.'

Eduardo got to his feet, and gently pulled Kevin up after him. Sam made a move towards the living room door.

'No good, Sam,' said Al. 'It's following you. You'll have to climb out the window.'

'It's following us,' said Sam, running to the window and pushing it open. 'We'll have to get out this way.'

'Aww, Mom, can't I look at it?' said Kevin.

'No you can't,' said Sam. 'In fact, you're going to be the first one out.'

Eduardo propelled Kevin across the room and began to bundle him through the window. Sam looked at the door, and saw that the shadow was rapidly approaching.

'Beth, come on!' said Eduardo.

Soon enough, all three were on the other side of the window, and the shadow was spreading across the living room floor. Al walked through the wall to join them, all the while pushing buttons on his handlink.

'Where do we go now?' asked Sam. 'It's going to follow us - we could lead it right down the street before the Ghostbusters get here!'

'Maybe we could hurt it with bright light or something,' said Kevin. 'You know, like in He-Man.'

'Well, the sun's pretty bright,' said Sam, 'so I guess it'll either come out or it won't. But let's not wait too long to find out.'

'Sam, the Ghostbusters won't be here for another eight minutes and twenty-six seconds,' said Al.

'Take Kevin before it gets here,' said Sam. 'I'll lead it to the back of the house.'

'Then what?' asked Eduardo.

'I'll think of something,' said Sam. 'Go on - take him!'

So saying, he gave Eduardo and Kevin both a violent shove away from the house. They both staggered to a halt, and before either of them could start to object, Sam saw that the shadow was near to the window and seemed to be heading towards him.

'Okay, Sam, head to the back of the house like you said,' Al told him. 'Ziggy says that thing should be about two and a half minutes getting back there at its current rate of movement.'

'How do you suppose Beth handled this originally?' asked Sam.

'Ziggy's data might tell us something about that,' said Al, tapping at his handlink. 'Oh, but wait - the Ghostbusters aren't going to find this thing in Kevin's bedroom, are they? I guess Beth just called them because she heard a sound, and the shadow monster didn't even realise there was anyone home.'

'She called the Ghostbusters without investigating first? How paranoid can you get?'

'I'm just guessing, Sam.'

'Well,' said Sam, still backing away from the shadow, 'I can't think of a better explanation. Okay, this is the back of the house - where now?'

'Hold on.' Al pushed a button, disappeared and then reappeared a moment later. 'Go along the wall and climb up the underneath of Eduardo's stairs.'

'What?'

'There's gaps between the steps, so you can get your hands and feet in there and pull yourself up. It's either that or taking it to see your neighbours.'

'Okay,' said Sam, backing towards the wall. 'If I take it up the stairs, where do I go from there?'

'Into the apartment.'

'Then where?'

'Further into the apartment.'

'This doesn't sound like a permanent solution, Al.'

'You got just under five minutes, Sam. By the time that thing corners you, the Ghostbusters will be here.'

'Are you sure about that?'

'Pretty sure. Of course, there's no accounting for Ziggy's margin of error.'

'Oh boy.' Sam groped above him for a grip on the metal staircase that ran up the side of the house, keeping his eyes on the shadow. 'This is, without a doubt, the stupidest leap I have ever been on. Not only do I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, but now I have to run away from a giant shadow monster!'

'Do you believe in it now?' asked Al, as Sam strained to pull himself up the wrong side of the metal stairs.

'I'm seeing it, Al,' said Sam, 'so I suppose I'd better believe it.'

It took all of his strength to heave himself over the railing at the top of the steps, but he made it, and as he dropped down on the other side he caught sight of Eduardo running towards him.

'Beth, what are you doing?' Eduardo called, wide-eyed with fear and, possibly, amazement at Beth's sudden display of upper body strength. 'It'll trap you up there!'

'Where's Kevin?' Sam called back.

'I left him with Mrs Makowsky.' He began to approach the staircase.

'Eduardo, stay away!'

Eduardo ignored this advice and stepped over the finger of shadow at the bottom of the stairs, which immediately reached up and grabbed him. Sam ran down the steps, pulled Eduardo free and then dragged him back upstairs and into the apartment just in time to slam the door on the advancing shadow. Of course, it began to snake in through the gap underneath, so Eduardo and Sam made their way together to the furthest corner of the room.

'Great, now we're both stuck up here,' said Sam. 'What exactly were you hoping to achieve?'

'This,' said Eduardo. 'I figure we stand more chance with two of us. That way we can, you know, pull each other around. I can't let anything happen to you, Beth.'

'Sam,' said Al, appearing in the middle of the room. 'The Ghostbusters will be here in two minutes exactly. One minute and fifty-eight seconds… one fifty-six… fifty-five…'

'There's no need to count down,' said Sam.

'Who's counting down?' asked Eduardo. 'Beth, I know it's none of my business, but I'm really starting to worry about you talking to yourself.'

'I'll go watch for the car,' said Al. 'I'm sure we should be able to hear the siren by now. What gives?'

'Sorry, Eduardo,' said Sam, as Al disappeared. 'I'm just… freaking out, I guess. But I know the Ghostbusters will be here soon.'

'It's getting closer,' said Eduardo, grabbing Sam's shoulders and pulling him towards the kitchenette in the opposite corner. 'We can probably put it off for a few seconds if we sit on the kitchen surface.'

'Hopefully a few seconds is all we'll need,' said Sam.

They waited until the shadow was only a few inches from their feet, and then sat on the kitchen surface and pulled their knees up to their chins. They were in this uncomfortable position when Al appeared in the room, his eyes glazed over in a way that Sam knew only too well.

'Sam, just you wait!' said Al. 'They sure didn't make Ghostbusters like that in my day, I can tell you!'

'What are you talking about?' said Sam.

'I'm not saying anything,' said Eduardo.

'Sorry,' said Sam. 'I just, um…'

'Whoa!'

In a split second, the shadow had a firm hold of Eduardo's ankle, and it had whisked him away before Sam was able to pull him free for a third time.

'Al, what do I do?' Sam asked, staring in helpless dismay as the screaming Eduardo began to disappear, legs first, as though being sucked into the darkness itself.

'Do not move, Sam,' said Al. 'The Ghostbusters -'

He was cut off as the door was kicked violently open and a small, dark-haired young woman wielding a nasty looking gun appeared on the threshold.

'You know, it wasn't locked,' Sam couldn't help saying.

'Sorry,' said the woman, not sounding as though she meant it. 'Look away, please, ma'am. For your own safety.'

Sam turned his head, and immediately the room was encased in a blinding light and filled with noise. Sam closed his eyes, but then could not resist opening one just enough to see the young woman dragging her beam of light - and the shadow with it - towards the door.

'Hey, you guys!' She leaned back and shouted down the stairs. 'There's a load more of it up here!'

As she began the tricky task of manoeuvring the shadow out of the door in her noisy light beam, Sam jumped down from the kitchen surface and went to Eduardo, who was kneeling on the floor and looking shaken.

'Was she something or what?' said Al, standing over Sam as he bent to Eduardo's aid. 'And you should see the other two out there. A tall, pouting brunette, and a fiery redhead with the most magnificent set of -'

'Al, shut up!' said Sam. 'Are you all right, Eduardo?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' said Eduardo.

'Sorry I couldn't grab you in time.'

'It's okay.'

'If I'd known, Sam, I'd have made you call them a lot sooner. I have to go get another look.'

'Al…'

With the press of a button, Al was gone. Sam shook his head resignedly, then helped Eduardo to his feet.

'Beth,' said Eduardo. 'You know I like to mind my own business, but I have to tell you, it really freaks me out that you keep saying my dad's name.'

'I do?' said Sam. 'Oh, I mean… I do, don't I? I'm sorry, Eduardo. I just… keep wondering what he'd say if I could ask him what to do about the two of you.'

'Who, me and Carlos? I know what Dad would say about that. He'd say you and me both should do what Carlos says.'

'You don't know that. You were just a kid when he died.'

'I know what he was like.'

'Of course, but maybe you don't realise that all he'd really want now is for both of you to be happy. I'm sure he'd be proud of -'

'Ma'am?' The dark-haired girl stuck her head in at the doorway. 'We're all done here, so maybe we could settle up whenever you're ready.'

'Oh, sure,' said Sam, frowning over the girl's shoulder at Al, who was seemingly floating by the staircase and taking in her back view. 'I'm on my way.'

'Me too,' said Eduardo. 'Thanks for the save.'

'It's my job,' said the girl.

'I was just trying to look after my sister-in-law here,' Eduardo added.

'Yeah?' The girl smirked. 'You weren't doing a very good job, Superman.'

'The name's Eduardo,' Eduardo said, 'and I was doing a great job. It was me instead of her getting eaten, wasn't it?'

'Absorbed,' said the girl. 'But why quibble? Whenever you're ready, Mrs Rivera.'

She made her way down the stairs, and Sam followed. Al pushed a button on his handlink, and appeared right in front of Sam the moment he reached the bottom of the staircase. Sam jumped and cried out in surprise, earning himself some odd looks from all three of the Ghostbusters Al had mentioned - and one he hadn't, who happened to be a man - and from Eduardo, who was now at the top of the stairs.

'See why we didn't hear the siren?' said Al, nodding in the direction of a tiny yellow car, into whose boot a male and a female Ghostbuster, both tall and dark-haired, were attempting to pack a great deal of complicated looking equipment.

'Hey!' said Kevin, running onto the scene from the house next door. 'You're not the Ghostbusters!'

'Kevin, be polite,' said Sam. 'Sorry. How much do I owe you?'

'Here.' The red-haired woman handed him a slip of paper.

'Thanks.'

Sam accepted the invoice with no idea of how much he should expect to be charged. The number that he saw made his eyes widen in shock.

'I'll get your chequebook,' Eduardo said soberly, reading over Sam's shoulder.

'Thanks,' said Sam. 'Hey, um… Al! AL! Psst!'

The Ghostbusters were staring at him again, and so was Mrs Macowsky, from her front window. Sam smiled sheepishly, then sidled over to where Al was trying to decide which female Ghostbuster he wanted to ogle at that particular moment.

'Will you stop?' Sam hissed. 'I need to see Beth's signature.'

'What?' Al came to his senses as though from a deep sleep. 'Oh. Okay, sure.'

As Al played around with his handlink, Eduardo reappeared with Beth's chequebook and a pen, which he handed to Sam.

'Thanks,' said Sam. 'Kevin, come here - let me lean on you.'

He wrote the cheque against Kevin's back, taking his time over the signature. Al held his handlink out to him, over Kevin's head, and Sam copied the untidy scribble on the screen as best he could.

'I'll say one thing, babe,' said Eduardo, smiling wryly at the woman who had saved his life. 'You sure aren't cheap.'

Al winced. 'Ouch.'

'The name's Kylie,' said the girl, scowling. Then she stalked away from him and got into the car.

'Thanks again,' said Sam, handing the cheque to the redhead. 'Ms, uh…'

'Melnitz.'

'Janine Melnitz,' said Al, consulting his handlink. 'She's been working for the Ghostbusters ever since they started. Officially she's the secretary. I wonder what she does after hours…'

'Thanks a lot, Ms Melnitz,' Sam said.

'Where are the real Ghostbusters?' asked Kevin.

'Kevin!' said Sam.

'They're busy, kid,' said Janine. 'But we're just as real as them, I'll have you know. Have a nice day, Mrs Rivera.'

Janine climbed into the driver's seat of the car and began to belt up.

'You mustn't be so rude, Kevin,' said Sam.

'I didn't mean to,' said Kevin. 'I just wanted to meet the real Ghostbusters. That wasn't them - and the guy even looked like Inspector Gadget!'

'Kevin! Look, just try to be more tactful, okay? Go on back inside now.'

'Okay, Mom.'

'The kid's crazy,' said Al. 'They don't come more real than those three.'

'Al,' said Sam, seeing that Eduardo had vanished and Mrs Makowsky was no longer at her window. 'I wish you'd treat women with more respect - it's embarrassing!'

'For who? They don't know I'm there. Anyway, I do respect them. I appreciate the inner and outer beauty.'

'And I don't feel right about forging Beth's signature either.'

'Hey, it's not like anyone's ever going to know. And don't feel bad on Beth's account - she was going to write that cheque anyway. Although I guess it might have been for a smaller amount, if that thing was confined to Kevin's room. I told you to call the Ghostbusters right away, didn't I?'

'It's not nice to say I told you so,' said Sam. 'And another thing. Why didn't you tell me their father's name was Al?'

'Was it?' Again, Al began pressing buttons on his handlink. 'Oh, right, his name was Alberto. I didn't know they called him Al. He's called Albert on some records, but never Al. Anyway, it doesn't matter, or at least it shouldn't. You ought to be more careful about talking to me in front of people.'

Sam's face filled with indignation. 'Well, if you didn't keep talking crazy while I'm with people…! Wait a minute. Albert? Really? I wonder why.'

'I guess for the same reason Carlos calls himself Carl.'

'Yeah, I guess so. Is that anything I need to worry about?'

'Oh, probably not,' said Al, with a dismissive wave of his cigar. 'I could get to like this leap, Sam. I'm starting to feel like I have a connection with these people. My name means something to them, and your name… Beth's name… means something to me.'

'Well,' said Sam, 'you might like it, but I just can't get my head around it. Now, let me think. I need to finish my conversation with Eduardo. I wonder where he went.'

'To do his laundry, maybe?'

Sam went inside, and Al zapped himself to the utility room. Eduardo's laundry was still waiting, while Sam's red-streaked load of whites was still half in the machine and half on the ground.

'Maybe you're just here to clean up this mess,' said Al.

'I made this mess,' said Sam.

'I wasn't being serious,' said Al. 'But you'd better clean it up anyway, and do something about those shirts. Your husband will not be pleased, especially when he finds out how much money you spent today.'

.-.-.

Sam thought about not telling Carl that he had called the Ghostbusters, but then he decided it would be wrong to let Beth try to explain when their bank statement arrived, so he told him over dinner.

'Ghostbusters?' Carl bristled. 'In my house? What the hell were you thinking, Beth? They're dangerous criminals!'

'No they're not,' said Sam. 'We had a supernatural problem, and they dealt with it. Eduardo was almost killed, you know.'

'Where is Uncle Eddie, anyway?' asked Kevin.

'I haven't seen him since the Ghostbusters were here,' said Sam. 'I'll take him some leftov- '

'We are not done talking about this, Beth!'

'Well, Carl, I don't know what else to say,' said Sam. 'We needed the Ghostbusters, so I called them, and there are plenty of witnesses who can tell you that your family was almost killed today.'

'Ask Mrs Makowsky,' said Kevin.

'Stay out of this, Kevin,' said Carl. 'I don't go out there risking my life night and day for you to throw my money at kooks, Beth!'

'It's our money, Carl,' said Sam. 'I work just as hard as you do.'

'Yeah, I know you do,' said Carl. 'I'm sorry, Beth. It's just that I know those Ghostbusters are a bunch of con artists.'

'Well, it's done now,' said Sam. 'I can't go back in time and change it, so let's just forget it and enjoy our dinner, shall we?'

.-.-.

'We missed you tonight,' Sam said, standing at the top of Eduardo's stairs and handing a food-filled Tupperware box over the threshold.

'Sorry,' said Eduardo. 'I got a lot of work to do.'

'Well, your studies are important. How are you finding the work?'

'Some of it's good. Some of it's stupid. Sort of like life, I guess.'

'Yeah, I guess so.'

'See ya, Beth.'

'Oh… bye,' Sam said, as Eduardo shut the door.

.-.-.

The next morning, Sam had to drive Kevin to school. Al, his image locked in the back of the car, gave him directions provided by Ziggy.

'So,' said Sam, once he had dropped Kevin at the school gates, 'I'd better fill you in on everything that happened last night.'

Al pressed a button, and moved to front seat of the car.

'Shoot, Sam.'

'Well,' said Sam, 'Carl was pretty mad about me calling the Ghostbusters, and I couldn't help getting mad back. We're fighting an awful lot, Al. Am I going to make him divorce Beth or anything?'

'Not according to Ziggy,' said Al, tapping away at his handlink. 'But I'd try to avoid any more confrontation with Carl, just in case. I know that can't be easy with him.'

'Oh, I don't know,' said Sam. 'Sometimes I almost think he's not so bad. Apart from blowing up at me about the Ghostbusters, it just seems to be Eduardo that brings out the worst in him.'

'And vice-versa. That's a shame. When I was in the waiting room with Beth, she said that brothers shouldn't let their differences come between them, and she was probably right. Did you talk to Eduardo again?'

'No. He didn't show up for dinner, and when I took him some leftovers he didn't want to talk.'

They spent the rest of the journey having a circular conversation about what could possibly be done to bring an end to the leap. Then, as Sam was pulling into the garage underneath Eduardo's apartment, a new thought struck Al.

'He really seemed to like that girl yesterday,' he said.

'Which girl?' asked Sam.

'That gothic looking little Ghostbuster. Kylie.' Al pulled out his handlink and pushed some buttons. 'Griffin. When she's not being a Ghostbuster, she manages Ray's Occult Books, and she has a car that's due… a wormer in a couple of weeks. I guess that means cat. Oh, and his name is Pagan.'

'Whose - the cat's?'

'Yeah. She sounds kind of kooky to me, but Eduardo sure seemed to like her.'

'She'd come and gone in five minutes, Al,' said Sam. 'Eduardo's probably forgotten all about the Ghostbusters by now. I know I have.'

'Oh,' said Al, his eyes glazing over, 'I sure haven't forgotten.'

'Not everyone is a sexaholic like you, Al.'

'I'm not a sexaholic. I'm not addicted to sexahol. Anyway, why are you so against this? You're the one who keeps wanting more to work with.'

'I need something a lot more concrete than that,' said Sam. 'You judging Eduardo by your own standards is not going to help. Where is he now?'

'Hold on.' Al pressed some more buttons. 'He's in class, or at least that's where he's supposed to be. But he finishes at eleven, so you should see him this afternoon.'