Rain
Lily Evans sat looking over the top of the book before her. She was trying with all her might to figure out the puzzle that was James Potter.
She had always liked solving puzzles. From the time she was a small girl she had always prided herself on her ability to figure out the smallest, most obscure puzzles.
For six years she had put up with Potter's antics. Mostly his obsession with asking her out. Going all the way back to their first year, in fact it had started on the Hogwarts Express on the way to the school for the very first time.
Being eleven she had of course rolled her eyes at him and ignored him. Hoping that he'd leave her alone.
Much to her embarrassment he had only further gained her ire when after they were both sorted into Gryffindor, he had sat across from her and continued to tell her and everyone else that was nearby how they were going to be boyfriend / girlfriend.
That was the first time she had told him off, pointedly expressing her displeasure at his cheekiness. All the time she was telling her off he had just looked at her with an infuriating lopsided grin that made her blood boil.
Shaking her head to clear the image of the memory she glanced once again at the one who had become such a mystery to her.
He was sitting near the window and staring out into the overcast sky. "Probably cursing that he can't go flying," she thought with a snort.
Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to her Charms textbook and resumed studying, though she couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't sitting in his usual chair in front of the fire with the rest of the Marauders.
JP + LE
Lily was beyond mad, steaming she stomped into the common room, her eyes scanning everywhere looking for the one who was responsible for her current state.
Not finding the one she was looking for she turned her attention to the three people sitting in front of the fire.
"Where is he Black," she snapped.
The three before the fire turned their attention on her.
"Lily, my lo. . ." Sirius started, but the words died on his lips once he got a good look at her current state. He quickly glanced at Remus Lupin who just gave him a shrug.
He turned his attention back to the fiery redhead who was now standing over him and glowering. "Haven't seen him in a couple of hours," he replied.
Sirius shuddered as he watched as the already mad girl before him got even more irate. He glanced back at Remus, grimacing as he made out the several of the words the enraged girl behind him was muttering.
"Insufferable . . . irresponsible . . . completely unreliable . . ." Lily muttered as she turned away.
"What's he done this time?" Sirius asked softly, not wanting to draw Lily's attention back to him.
Remus' eyes flicked over towards the form of the one who had just left. "I have no idea, but it must have been something monumental this time," he replied with a soft chuckle.
Lily sat down with her friends but she kept glancing at the Portrait Hole. Though she had cooled down some, she was still seething at one James Potter for missing their Head meeting with Dumbledore. She still couldn't fathom how or why they had made Potter Head Boy.
It was much later, after almost everyone had gone off to bed when James Potter made his way into the common room.
Though the fire had died down from her ire, sitting waiting for several hours had only made Lily all that more irritated.
Rising quickly from her seat, she stormed over catching James no more that half a dozen steps into the room.
"Just where have you been?" she snapped at him, trying to keep her level under control due to the lateness of the hour.
James almost ran into her, pulling up just short. "Sorry, Evens?" he asked tiredly, looking up at her.
"I said, where have you been? You missed the Head meeting with Dumbledore. I can't believe how irresponsible you are. Don't you have any sense of responsibility at all? It's unbelievable for the Head Boy to have to serve detention." she said hotly.
James just stared at her for a moment. "Look Evans, it's none of your business where I've been," he said, his eyes boring into her. "I've seen Dumbledore and he knows why I was late."
Lily drew herself up and glared back, "So what is your punishment?"
Shaking his head in disgust James replied, "That's between me and Dumbledore." He then turned away. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm tired and though this conversation has been so much fun, I'm heading off to bed."
Without looking back he quickly made his way up the stairs to his room.
Lily stood there, staring at the place where James had disappeared. "Something's going on with you Potter and I'll find out what it is," she said determinedly.
JP + LE
Lily sat doing something very uncharacteristic of her, at least in comparison with the past six years. She was watching James Potter from across the room.
Right now he was at his usual spot in front of the fireplace with the rest of the Marauders. At first glance things seemed normal. The four of them were talking, laughing and in the case of Sirius, flirting with any female who was foolish enough to get to close to the group.
The thing was, Lily was use to looking at things with a keener eye than most people and she could tell that something was slightly amiss. At first it was hard to pinpoint but the longer she watched it became more apparent.
Black was his normal self, totally obnoxious and a complete man-whore. Teasing and shamelessly flirting with all the girls fourth year and above.
Remus was his usual laid back self. Much more in control than the others, though he was wearing that sly grin he had, showing he was a Marauder through and through.
Peter was also his normal self. Lily shook her head. She still couldn't understand how he was with the others. He just didn't seem to measure up to the Marauder standards as she saw it. He was a hanger on, looking like a puppy following after the big dogs, hoping to be included in their doings.
No. The one who was different was Potter. At a quick glance things seemed normal. He was sitting there, laughing and talking but if one looked closely you could see that he wasn't quite his normal self.
Normally it was him and Black who dominated the conversation, but lately he had been slightly more subdued. Often staring into the fire and on more than one occasion she had seen Sirius or Remus repeat something to get his attention.
Nodding slightly, Lily knew there was something up with one James Potter and she was bound and determined to find out what it was.
JP + LE
Lily had just finished her Potions essay and she knew she should be starting her Transfiguration one but as usual as of late, she found herself distracted once again by the puzzle that was James Potter.
Sighing, she thought back on the past several years. Though James was an insufferable prat almost all the time, she couldn't help but admit he was quite handsome. If only his personality matched.
As they had gotten older and started to notice the opposite sex, she couldn't help notice certain things. Sirius Black was the consummate playboy. Having a new girlfriend every several weeks and seemingly never dating the same girl twice.
More interesting to her was the fact that James never seemed to act the same way. Though he was friendly and flirted with almost anything that wore a skirt, he never had a steady girlfriend. Sure he always had a date for the few balls that the school held, but it was never the same girl and he never dated any of them.
Of course he was always insufferable, obnoxious and a right royal prat, constantly asking her out, usually in some flamboyant, loud and annoying manner.
It didn't matter to him in the slightest that she always refused and as the years past she had become more and more adamant and vocal in her refusals. It only seemed to spur him to try something more outrageous and to her, a more embarrassing manner.
Giving a wry smile, she shook her head. This year had been totally different. For some reason, he had stopped asking. At first she welcomed the change but lately for some unfathomable reason she found herself kind of missing his constant attempts
Sighing once more, she pushed that thought from her head, not wanting to think about why that was.
JP + LE
As September gave way to October Lily was still trying to figure out the enigma that was James Potter.
The few times they had done rounds together had been a complete mystery to her. She had begun by dreading to have to go on rounds with him, steeling herself for an endless litany of his usual attempts to ask her out.
To her surprise he hadn't done so once. In fact he rarely talked unless spoken to. Most times he was focused on the task at hand. Lily had been impressed with the maturity that he seemed to be showing and she had at first been very relieved.
As time went on she began to become a bit perturbed with him. Normally on rounds whomever she was paired with would talk about all sorts of things. From school gossip to classes, the latest Quidditch news, whatever.
With James there were just endless hours of . . . nothing. At first she had found it a welcome relief but as it continued she became irritated,
"What! Aren't I good enough to talk to," she thought to herself.
As it continued, Lily filed it away as another piece of the puzzle that was James Potter.
JP + LE
It was about half way through October that Lily figured out another piece of the puzzle. She had noticed that at certain times that James seemed to disappear and no one seemed to know where he was, even the Marauders.
At first she had thought that maybe they just wouldn't tell her, but then she had overheard Sirius and Remus talking about James' disappearing, both wondering where he was off to.
It took her a while to piece together that it seemed when Potter disappeared it seemed to coincide with whenever it was raining. At first she thought it was just a coincidence but as she paid more attention to it, she found it to be true. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why.
It was at the next Head meeting with the Headmaster that Lily once again found herself alone with Professor Dumbledore that she broached the subject.
It started with the Headmaster looking at her pointedly and asking. "What seems to be the problem Miss Evans?"
Lily gathered her Gryffindor courage and spoke. "I'm upset that Mr Potter has once again failed to show up," she fumed. "But you don't seem to be."
Lily was surprised when the Headmaster's usual jovial manner disappeared. He sighed deeply and stared at her for several moments.
"Lemon Sherbet?" he asked, offering her the bowl he always had on his desk.
Normally she declined but she took one of the offered candies, understanding that Dumbledore seemed to be stalling for time.
While she sucked on the tart candy, she watched as the Headmaster looked at her while pondering what to say.
It took several minutes for her to finish the candy and just as she did, Dumbledore spoke. "I am well aware of the . . . special circumstances pertaining to Mr. Potter," he said, glancing out the window.
Lily's gaze followed the Headmaster's, noticing the rain pounding down outside. She looked back at the Headmaster hopefully but if she had expected him to confide what that was, she was sorely disappointed.
"I'm sorry, but it isn't my place to tell you," he said softly.
Lily looked at him questioningly but he just looked at her, a touch of sadness in his eyes. He gave her a thin smile and said "Back to the matters at hand."
Lilly sighed, knowing she'd get nothing further from Dumbledore. She gave him a nod and they continued on with the meeting.
JP + LE
It was another of one of those late nights that gave Lily a different look at James Potter. Once again almost everyone else had gone off to bed and she was finishing up another one of the endless essays that the professors seemed to relish piling on the students when it happened.
James once again came through the Portrait Hole alone. Lily had glanced over to see who was coming in and it struck her immediately. It was as if she was seeing him in a different light. Gone was the arrogant, cocky guy she was use to seeing and in his place was this . . . sad, and dare she say it, vulnerable person.
Something changed in her at that moment and as their eyes met she saw his demeanour change. She could tell he was expecting another diatribe at his lateness and she could see him steel himself for the expected confrontation.
She could see the surprise in his face when all she did was nod in his direction and say softly "James."
She almost laughed in spite of herself as the shocked look passed over his face and he nodded back, replying "Lily," as he continued on his way to his room.
Lily found herself staring at the place he had disappeared from, wondering what had happened to make such a huge change in the person she thought she had known oh so well.
JP + LE
It was several nights later when another mysterious piece of the puzzle presented itself to Lily. She was on her way down to the dungeons to see Professor Slughorn when she spotted James slipping out the front doors. She was running a little late or she would have been tempted to follow. She paused for a moment contemplating whether or not it was worth chancing a detention or loss of house points before she sighed and continued down the stairs. As she did, she couldn't help but notice it was raining outside.
It was a little over an hour later that she was coming back up the stairs. She was just at the level where she could see the doors when she dropped a piece of parchment. Muttering to herself she stopped, bent down and picked it up.
As she straightened up she noticed the door open just enough to let someone slip inside. She was surprised to see it was James. She was just about to say something and join him when she froze.
James' demeanour caught her attention. His shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh, wiping his hand across his face, brushing the droplets away.
Lily felt her heart clench and felt tears come to her eyes. He looked so lost and broken standing there, she felt she was intruding on something very private.
She remained where she was as she watched him gather himself together slightly as he slowly made his way across the entrance hall and up the stairs toward the Gryffindor common room.
She waited several minutes until she was sure he was gone. She wasn't sure what was happening but she had new information for her to think about concerning one James Potter.
JP + LE
It was a little over a week before things came to a head, principally because the weather remained nice. Well not really nice, but it hadn't rained even though the sky was often grey and overcast.
Lily was sitting at one of the work tables along the wall where there were several windows. Dinner had ended a couple of hours ago and most everyone was working on school assignments.
Suddenly she was startled by the smattering of raindrops on the window next to her. It was several moments later when she saw James slip out the Portrait Hole alone.
Making up her mind hurriedly, she shut her book and took off after James. She stayed far enough behind as not to be seen, though he looked very focused on where he was going and she didn't think he'd notice her even if she was yelling as loud as she could.
It didn't take long before he arrived at his destination, the Entrance Hall and the main doors. Without pausing, James opened the door and slipped out.
Lily hurried to catch up, not wanting to lose him in the gathering gloom. Stepping outside Lily shook her head in disbelief, wishing that she would have had time to grab her cloak before having to follow the object of her obsession.
Yes, she admitted to herself, she had become obsessed with finding out about what James Potter was hiding, not for any reason other than to satisfy her curiosity.
She scanned the grounds, cursing the rain and the way it obscured her view. Just when she thought she had lost track of him, Lily caught a small movement heading for the Black Lake.
Gathering her courage, she stepped out into the rain and headed towards where she could make out the dark shadow she knew to be James.
In moments she was soaked to the skin and she shivered a little as she made her way forward. Due to the slickness of the path, she was forced to keep looking down so she wouldn't slip and fall. In doing so, she had a hard time keeping track of James.
Luckily she noticed his footsteps filling with water on the path she was on. It allowed her to know she was still following correctly even though she could no longer see James before her.
Finally she came to the end of the path and for a second she thought she had lost him as she didn't see him anywhere.
Just as she was giving up and going to turn back to the castle, she saw him. The reason she hadn't seen him because he was no longer standing, he had fallen to his knees.
Lily crept forward, trying to figure out what was happening. It wasn't until she was fairly close that she could actually see him clearly through the rain.
At first she had a hard time making out what was happening but then it struck her like a stunning spell. James was kneeling down, head hanging with his hands wrapped up, clutching his hair. She noticed his shoulders shaking but it was as she got still closer that she was able to hear him.
The sobs as he was crying broke her heart, such deep anguish that poured out made her shudder with its intensity.
Without thought she rushed forward, falling on her knees next to him. "James!" she cried out, her hands coming up but stopping just short of touching him.
James dropped his arms and turned towards her. She half expected him to yell at her for following him but she was unprepared for the look that he gave her.
It was one of such sheer, deep, devastating despair that it shocked Lily to her core. She could see the tears pooling in his eyes but they were lost on his face, hidden in amongst the rain that ran down his face.
Suddenly it struck Lily why James disappeared when it rained. It hid the tears. Always appearing so strong, so sure of himself, he didn't want anyone to see him at his most vulnerable.
"Oh, James," she cried softly, wondering what could have happened to bring him to such a state.
His eyes found hers, and he looked so forlorn. In a harsh, anguished voice he cried out "Why did they have to die? Why were they taken from me?"
Lily looked at him bewilderedly, having no idea who he was talking about. She looked at him beseechingly, her face asking the question she couldn't force herself to ask.
She watched as James' head lolled to one side and with a look that made her heart hurt so badly he whispered, "My parents. Why did they have to die?"
Lily had no answers so she did the only thing she could think of. She reached out and took him into her arms and pulled him into her body, letting his head come to rest on her shoulder.
"I don't know," she whispered into his ear. She found herself crying just as hard as James was, wracked with sobs just as deep.
She felt his arms tighten around her, almost to the point of pain. She hugged him just as hard not knowing what else to do.
Slowly their sobs died down and Lily felt James relax into her. She had one arm wrapped around him, holding him close while the other softly stroked through his hair, offering some level of comfort.
The rain was letting up and James spoke softly. "We should go back in," he whispered.
Lily sniffled and nodded her head. James leaned back from her embrace allowing her to stand. She looked down at him, seeing him in a completely different light.
At first he wouldn't look at her, keeping his eyes turned away. It wasn't till she extended her hand in front of his face that he looked up at her. With a sad smile, he took her hand and allowed her to help him up.
After he rose, James loosened his grip but Lily just tightened hers, refusing to let go. When he looked at her questioningly all she did was give him a sad smile and say, "Come on James, lets go back inside." She then gave a gentle tug on his hand and they started walking back to the castle.
They walked back in silence and Lily knew it had to be well past curfew and she hoped that they would be able to make it back into the castle unnoticed.
As they approached the door James reached forward and opened the door, finally giving Lily a wan smile as he did so.
Lily breathed a sigh of relief but that caught almost immediately in her throat as she saw Professor Dumbledore descending the last few steps of the main stairway.
He stopped and gave the couple a knowing look. Lily's heart was in her throat as she expected to get told off for the late hour.
Instead Dumbledore's gaze fixed on her and with a small smile he said "I take it you have your answers?"
"Some of them," Lily replied softly.
Dumbledore's smile deepened and with the usual twinkle in his eyes he said "I find a nice cup of Hot Chocolate very conducive to talking, especially after a walk in the rain. I suggest a visit to the kitchens. Mr. Potter knows the way."
Lily looked down at her and James' legs, both covered in copious quantities of mud. Looking back up at Dumbledore she was about to speak when he cut her off.
"I'm sure the elves will be more than willing to help out with that too," he said in anticipation of her question.
He then turned his attention to James and gave him a pointed look. "All right Mr. Potter?" he asked softly.
James gave him a half-hearted smile. "Yes sir," he replied. He then glanced at Lily. "Better than I have been," he added.
Dumbledore tilted his head and looked at him over his half-moon glasses. "That's good to hear," he said nodding his head. Then with a wave of his arm he said, "Off to the kitchens now. I'm sure that Hot Chocolate will warm you both up in no time."
In no time at all, the couple found themselves in the kitchens, sitting at a table in front of the fire warming themselves with several mugs of Hot Chocolate. The also indulged themselves from the trays of treats that the elves provided.
Lily couldn't believe the selection they were given. There were pies and tarts of several different types, biscuits and éclairs along with a fine selection of chocolates.
The elves had insisted on taking their wet and muddy clothing, providing them both with pajamas and dressing gowns.
At first Lily had felt a bit self-conscious but when James didn't make a deal about it, she relaxed and enjoyed their snacks.
James had been silent for the most part, but as they sat there in a comfortable silence he began to talk, At first he had just stared into the fire as spoke but when he got to the part about the Death Eaters killing his parents his eyes sought out hers.
Lily found that words wouldn't come and she knew she didn't know what to say even if she could speak. Tears flowed down her face and all she could do was reach out and take his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.
She was a little surprised when he squeezed it back, giving her a wan smile and though he didn't cry, Lily could see the shine of unshed tears in his eyes.
Finally they were done drinking and eating and they rose to return to Gryffindor Tower.
Just as they exited the kitchens, James stopped and and looked at Lily. He seemed to struggle for a moment and then with a deep sigh he said softly, "Thank you Lily."
She gave him a small smile and replied, "You're welcome James."
James returned her smile and they resumed walking. Lily reached out and gently took hold of James' hand. He looked at her, the surprise evident on his face. Lily just smiled at him but said nothing.
The remainder of the walk back was accomplished in complete silence, neither feeling the need to say anything.
In seemingly no time at all they arrived at the Portrait of the Fat Lady. It took a moment to awaken her and she seemed put out at being awoken so late.
Lily gave the password, "Golden Griffin."
So surprised was the Fat Lady at seeing who was entering so late and the fact that they were holding hands, she was struck speechless and just silently swung open to allow them entrance.
Though it had been a rather long, trying emotional evening, neither felt ready to head off to bed. Without words both headed over to the couch in front of the fire. They sat down, silent at first but after a while they started to talk. This time more about school and common every day things.
The clock on the mantle had just chimed out half past one and Lily found herself sitting at one end of the couch, half turned and slumped down so her head was resting on the back.
She smiled as she looked down, laying with his head in her lap was James, sound asleep. She was gently running her fingers through his unruly hair and she was struck at how peaceful he looked.
She heard the soft footsteps of someone behind her and turning her head as much as she could, she was surprised to see Sirius Black.
He gave her a strange look and appeared to be about to speak. Lily quickly put her finger to her lips and gave him a silent "Shhhh."
Sirius cocked an eyebrow at her, slowly shook his head and then turned away back up the stairs to the 7th year boys dorm.
JP + LE
It was about two weeks later and James and Lily were sitting at a table in the common room working on another of the interminable potions essays.
Lily looked up and saw James staring out the window, about that time she heard the soft patter of raindrops against the window. She saw the pained look on James' face and she silently closed her text book.
"James," she called out softly.
He looked at her and she saw him struggling with his emotions,
"Why don't you go get your cloak," she said as she rose. "I'll get mine."
James gave her a wan smile as he rose, hurrying off to comply.
A couple moments later they met at the Portrait Hole. Lily reached out and took his hand, leading him out to the place besides the Black Lake. As they exited the common room, James turned to her, taking her into a tight hug.
"Thanks Lily," he choked out.
"Any time James," she softly replied.
Then taking his hand, she started walking again, taking her boyfriend out to cry in the rain.
JP + LE
A/N: A change up from my standard Harry / Ginny fare but this came to me today and just wouldn't leave me alone.
I promise I'm working on finishing Broken and almost have it complete so I hope to post that in the next day or so.
As always reviews are greatly appreciated.