Tsunade was slowly chewing on her dango as the cute, and annoyingly curious, little kitten talked to her…"What in the world?! Who are you ya little bugga'?! Trying to fool me with a genjutsu! KAI!"
Blink. Blink.
"KAIIIIIII!!" She shouted as she focused ALL her chakra in this one.
The annoyed kitten snarled at her, "Do I look plastic to you? NO! I just wanted JUICE! Hey-ACK!"
Tsunade flicked the kitten on the head and it went flying into the wall, "…Oops. Not a clone after all…KITTEN!!" She ran to the hole and started freaking out when it was empty.
"Meow, Sheesh lady, I am alive."
She stopped moving and glared, "Who are you? What does a kitten want with Konoha?"
The silver cat sighed, "You could have said that FIRST. Anyway, I am not a kitten with cute little paws and adorable blue eyes, no. I am a traveling scholar tiger half-breed…I see I have lost you there."
Tsunade was officially staring dumbly at the 'over-confident talking kitten who just made a fool of me and is glaring at me.'
"Oh
for goodness sakes, anyway, I will just start a new chapter here in
this mythical Konoha that is real. You see, in Siberia, I collect
reasons and stories. May I ask you how you got your super-strength?
Miss…?"
She snapped out of the idea and smiled, "Oh! I am
the hokage, Tsunade. You are?"
Mood swings much? "I am called Wufer."
"…"
"What?"
"…W-Wufer?"
"Yeeees, Wufer is a handsome name no?"
She started to form tears in her eyes and her chin quivered, "I CAN'T TAKE IT!" She laughed her ass off. "I'm sorry, maybe, it is just SO funny!"
The cat popped a vein, "Yes, yes. I GET IT! MOM STOP THOSE BULLIES!!"
"…" She looked at the other guests.
"…" Wufer hid under the table.
Tsunade glared at the spot where the cat was and turned back to the guests, "That was not me. Understand?" She glared at the customers of Sunny Day Side.
They backed off and sweated while giving their hokage a 20 ft. wide area of privacy, "Y-Yes, Hokage-sama!" They quickly went back to eating. The holes yes, the talking to oneself okay, screaming for mom at non-existent bullies, getting creepy here!
"Good. Now Wufer", she turned to the he-soon-to-be-kicked-out-cat, "Where were we?"
"How did you get your power?" He took a book out of his tiny fur bag and got a pen, "Hairballs are useful."
Tsunade just ignored that charade and looked at her nails, "My power?"
"Yes, wanting to protect people? For strength? Natural ability?"
"No. I was in the forest once you see…"
Flashback:
Tsunade kept running errands for Sensei's giant duck and was getting really tired. Sticks stuck in her hair, dirt smudged her clothes, and she was carrying 50,000 feathers after spending 6 hours in a chicken coop.
The duck, La-La, was 7 years old, a kid. "Yay! Finally old hag, my pillow can be made!" That was the sixty-third errand that 'took forever.'
Tsunade had had it! She cracked her knuckles and threw the feathers at the duck, "JUST because I am 13, does NOT mean you can make me your slave!"
The duck started crying a waterfall, "WAAAAAAH! I'm telling the Hokage!"
"No you don't you spoiled brat!" She started focusing her chakra in a pattern in her fists and punched the ground. A big gap came under La-La.
"AAAAAAAHHHH! DADDY! I hate you rotten old pig!"
"FINE YOU SELFISH BEAK-HEAD! Stay in there until you calm down and learn your manners for your elders! HMPH!" She left.
Eventually, after a couple of hours she came back. The duck never spoke to the scary girl again and hid from her while she was stuck in Konoha.
End Flashback.
Wufer stared stupidly at the crazy lady. She traumatized a duck! She could've killed HIM!
Tsunade clasped her hands and looked at Wufer, "What."
"You mean to tell me you got super-strength ideas from losing your temper at a giant duck?" The cat was wearing glasses from nowhere.
"Yeah. So?"
Wufer smiled (Smiling kitten…) and ran from the crazy woman. I hope there aren't too many mental, deadly freaks in Konoha…
"HEY! MY JUICE!! BOOM!" The store was destroyed as the grumpy hokage searched for the annoying, ugly cat.
Pretty soon, Wufer ran into someone and slowly looked up, "This can't be happening to me. I'm going to die young!"
The young boy with red marks smiled cheekily as the giant white dog stared at Wufer, "Hey Akamaru, a talking cat, tiger half-breed!"
…Should've stayed home and become a singer.