This fic is dedicated to my friend Alice who swung by the office last night to show me something nice. She showed me the secret ending last night and I fear I may have screamed near her ear. My officemates jumped in surprise (because I usually don't scream like I did last night) when I did but they laughed so they didn't mind. I still haven't beaten that Blue Noise in the middle of the crossing but I'm still trying! Seeing it made me want to keep at it. Another Day is just plain funny. Joshua is so funny. I'm doing the Tin Pin event. So funny.
Slightly JoshuaxNeku with spoilers about the identity of the Composer, I guess... But then... maa...
Thank you for reading.
"Memento Mori, Memento Vivere"
Perhaps it was irrationality on His part or maybe something simpler than that. But whatever reason He had, He wouldn't tell anyone about it. He just went through with and allowed no one to stop him. Not Megumi, not Mr. Hanekoma, not even the other angels.
The angels were baffled, to say the least. They wondered why the Composer would impose such a thing on Himself. They tried to ask quite a number of times already and still He never answered. He just shrugged and turned away and gave them that look that seemed to say: You should know.
But they don't. Or maybe they do, it may just sound strange, which was a problem in itself, but hey, sometimes, it just happens. So they let Him be.
Sometimes, He regretted it. But that was the whole point of the thing after all. At least a little part. It was better this way.
At least…
"Take care of Her, will you?" He told Hanekoma.
"Shibuya's safe with me." The older angel replied.
He knew that to be true. Shibuya will be safe in His absence. He used to give that responsibility to Megumi but Megumi wasn't there anymore either. So the responsibility fell into Hanekoma's lap. Shibuya will never fall into ruin with the angel around. Especially after what happened in the last game.
"Are You ready, Composer?" Hanekoma asked.
He took a deep breath and let it all go.
"Yes." He replied.
And then, He fell…
Honestly, of all the sensations He disliked, the feeling of being doused with frigid water was number one on His list. That was the feeling He got whenever this day came. It didn't hurt but it left Him a little disoriented. And when He turned to the mirror, His pale hair turned ebony black, His eyes a little lighter shade of blue.
He smiled a little sadly at it and his reflection did the same. Today was the only day He could be like this again. Just as He used to be.
He walked out of His old house, the one He used to live in, and went off toward Hachiko's Statue. He was almost swept away by the current of people that rushed this way and that. He wasn't surprised to find Neku there. Neku was always there waiting for someone. Be it Shiki, Beat or Rhyme. He knew because He always watched Neku from the Higher Plane, just too see how His Proxy was doing. He wondered if Neku would recognize Him in this form.
"Hullo." He greeted, cheerfully.
Neku turned to Him with more shock than surprise.
"Yo—Joshua?!" Neku asked, uncertain.
"In the flesh." He replied with a grin.
Neku looked at Him warily which He answered with that same grin. He always knew Neku could feel a lot of things others couldn't. Even between players. That was one of the reasons why He chose Neku in the first place. To Him, Neku was unique.
"But why are you…?"
"What?"
"…different today?" Neku finished.
He smiled.
"Different? In what way?" He asked.
Neku looked at Him as if trying to think of what was so different about Him. He was a little unnerved with how Neku stared at Him but He didn't hide that was curious as well. Neku always fascinated Him for some reason.
"What? Odd? Strange? Weird?" He asked. "Is it my hair or maybe my eyes?"
"Human." Neku replied, simply.
He smiled at that. Neku fidgeted. Even devoid of the Player Pin and the abilities he had in the UG, Neku's senses were still as sharp as it used to be. He was quite pleased that Neku noticed.
"What? Have I not been 'Human' before?" He asked, teasing.
Neku shook his head. "No. At least not like what you are now…"
He chuckled. "Oh, I suppose so…"
Neku frowned. "In the UG or on those few times we met outside the game, even when they said you were alive… You really were something else." Neku shrugged. "Maybe something even 'divine', if you get my drift."
He laughed at how Neku chose his words. He laughed because it was right to some degree. Neku blushed in embarrassment.
"Arg! Just quit it alright? It's kinda hard to explain…"
"And you are right." He said. Neku turned to Him, surprised once again. "I am 'Human'." He turned to the crowds. "I'm as normal as any person walking these streets. Today, I am not the Composer."
He saw the expression on Neku's face. He already knew what Neku wanted to ask Him. So He answered before the other could open his mouth.
"Don't worry. Mr. H is taking care of things." He assured. "I used to leave it to Megumi but… Well, you know."
"I see…" Neku remarked thoughtfully.
He smiled at Neku. Not his usual smirk but a small smile. It was nice to just be able to sit and talk to His Proxy. But He can't stay for long and he couldn't let Neku see Him when the day finally ends. Grief didn't suit Neku. So He straightened up and turned to Neku with His trademark smirk.
"Well, I should get going. Carpe Diem and all that." He said and was about to run off.
He didn't get very far though. Neku caught him by the wrist and stopped him from going off. He turned to Neku, surprised. Neku's grip was strong and warm and firm but not unkind.
"You don't have anything to do today, right?" Neku said.
He didn't answer.
"Let's hang out for a bit." Neku added.
He raised his eyebrows, curious. "Why?" He asked.
Neku smiled, forlornly. "Maybe… I just don't want to be alone today…" Neku replied.
He turned away. "Is there… any reason for that?" He asked even though He knew.
It was Neku's turn not to answer.
It occurred to Him much later that He really didn't (or maybe the right word was couldn't) say 'No' to Neku. He had His reasons to say no after all. But it turned out; Neku was the perfect companion for Him that day. He supposed they were kindred spirits, one way or the other. And Neku said that he didn't want to be alone today.
He couldn't agree with him more.
It was Neku that showed Him a different side of Shibuya during the game and Neku was the one who showed Him more of that different side now that they were together in the streets of the RG.
"I'm not dismissing your point, Joshua." Neku said over ice cream. "It's just that there are other things here than just the decay that you saw."
He smiled. "I know." He replied, understanding.
Neku grinned back at Him.
At some point in their wandering, Neku asked Him why He was Human now.
"No offense but, is that a rule for Composers or something?"
"Why do you ask?" He asked back as He tried on a hoodie with bunny ears.
Neku laughed at how ridiculous He looked. He frowned and took it off.
"Nothing. Just curious." Neku replied. "I mean, most people, if they were in your position, wouldn't even want to become Human again. Seriously, when you're Composer, you'll never get hurt, never be hurt and you can't die easily and you have power over Shibuya… So why?"
"Some wounds cut deeper than skin, Neku. You should know that." He remarked.
Neku smiled, bitterly. "I know that… It's just that… Why? If you can't be hurt physically then why become Human again?"
He smiled. "That's exactly the reason why, Neku." He replied, matter-of-factly.
"Huh?"
He turned to Neku with a smile but His eyes showed seriousness.
"Isn't it easy to forget about the important things when you can do whatever you want, whenever you want?" He turned back to his rummaging. "With all that power, it's easy to forget you were once Human too… That would be bad, wouldn't it?"
Neku closed his eyes and then turned to Him. He smiled because He saw Neku understood.
"I see…" Neku agreed then stopped. "Is being Human for a day some rule the angels imposed on you?"
"Nope." He replied. "It's mine." He paused. It caught Neku by surprise. "Today, is an important day for me... When the day ends… well…"
"What happens when the day ends?" Neku asked, suddenly.
He didn't answer and he knew Neku knew the answer as well. This whole thing was only for today after all. He didn't know what it was that Neku thought of Him. He almost regretted spending today with His Proxy but it was one of the points in this whole ordeal after all, wasn't it?
To remember the important things?
Lunch found them sitting in Ken Doi's Ramen House. Neku, He realized, kept looking out the window to the street, wistfully. He didn't wish to pry but the ramen was getting cold. So He asked Neku what was wrong.
"Have you… ever lost someone before?" Neku asked.
"Lost?" He asked.
He understood what Neku meant but He wanted Neku to say it anyway. Neku didn't talk for a while and He figured maybe Neku wouldn't tell Him. But then Neku smiled a little sadly at Him.
"I had a friend once…" Neku began, slowly. "We were… Best friends. He was my only real friend. The only one who I could really talk to as an equal… He was the one who told me about CAT's graffiti. I remember me and him would always just stand there and look at it and just be awed…"
"What happened to him?" He asked softly.
"I called him up one day and told him we should meet in Udagawa and look at the Mural together… But he never came…"
He looked down at His ramen now half-empty as Neku continued.
"It was only later that I heard, he got into a traffic accident… Today's the day he died…" Neku said then sighed, smiling awkwardly. "Sorry, I know I'm no one special but… you remind me of him for a bit… But it's been so long, I can't even remember his face or his name at all… You'd think I would know that at least…"
He didn't know what to say to Neku. He supposed that was the reason why Neku didn't want to spend it alone. Not that He's complaining.
"Truth is, Neku…" He said. "I don't really want to spend today alone too…"
Neku smiled and thought that maybe that answered the question.
The crowds of Shibuya, He realized, was really something. In His current state He could not even walk against the crowd. Neku's firm hold on His wrist was the only thing that prevented Him from being swept away by the current.
He didn't mind it so much though. It was one of things He looked forward to. The crowds, the people the lights and the streets and noise of Shibuya were always so different in These eyes. Always something new, He realized. Always something alive...
He took a deep breath and was glad that He didn't forgo with His decision to destroy it. But then He needed people to change just a little to keep it that way. Even if He had to call for a Game again.
They walked through the streets and the crowds; saw the lights and the people who didn't know about the UG or the Games that were played for their sakes. They didn't know that the Human who was the Composer, walked amongst them.
But the day was about to end just as it does every year. He hid the sadness in His face. It was time.
"Neku?"
"Yeah?"
"You should go home."
"Huh?"
He turned to Neku, sadly. "Do know why today out of all days?"
Neku frowned.
"Today is special you see…" He said. "I became a player today and achieved the title of Composer a week later… That's why, I chose today…"
He took a few steps back. Neku watched him as slowly, understanding came. One couldn't become a player if they hadn't died. And Neku snatched his wrist before he could bolt.
"When the day ends…" Neku murmured. "Are you going to die again today?" Neku asked, quietly.
Neku's hands were warm, He realized and He didn't resist at all.
"One day every year… I become human and I die. This human me."
"But you'll still die." Neku said.
His hand slipped away from Neku's gasp.
"Go home, Neku. I'd rather you don't see…" He said.
"Couldn't you stay human then? Or maybe some other way you can return without having to…" Neku paused when He shook His head.
It was something He needed to do.
"Why must you keep doing this?"
He smiled. "I told you, didn't I? It's very easy to forget about the important things, if you can do whatever you want, whenever you want."
Neku knew he would not be able to convince Him.
"You'll be… alright, right?"
"Somewhat." Was His reply. "Please go, Neku."
Neku took a deep breath and smiled at Him. He offered His own smile. It was not like they weren't seeing each other again after all. Although, things would be different next time… Neku turned and walked. He turned to the empty streets.
"Neku," He called out. "I'm sorry I couldn't meet you in Udagawa that day."
Neku froze.
"I really wanted to tell you something then but…" He shrugged. "I couldn't tell you…"
He saw that Neku froze in his steps and He knew Neku wanted to turn around but He hoped Neku wouldn't. And for a wonder, Neku didn't. Instead, Neku took a deep shuddering breath and put his hands in his pockets.
"It's my fault… For calling you out…." Neku said. "My fault..."
He smiled, sadly. "Don't say such useless things." He mildly chided. "It's not your fault… I'm still here, aren't I? Stop gawking like an idiot."
Neku closed his eyes tightly and sighed, as if a heavy burden was lifted off of his shoulders. There was silence for a few moments and He watched as Neku grew once more and stepped a little father away from the borders of his world.
"Who's an idiot?!" Neku shouted. "You think I'd be worried about a lazy bastard like you? Don't make me laugh!"
He laughed. His laughter echoed across the empty streets. He couldn't see the expression on Neku's face but He knew Neku was grinning. His Laughter died but the smile never disappeared.
"Joshua?"
"Yeah?"
"Meet you in Udagawa."
"Of course."
Neku turned to Him and flashed Him a nice grin and then before anything else could be said Neku ran off, form disappearing into the crowded part of Shibuya. Some things weren't going to change, He supposed. With a smile He put His hands in His pockets before He stepped onto the road to cross the street. Just like several years back, a car swerved in the corner, uncontrolled in a rage.
He froze in the middle of the street while the car's lights glared at Him. The day has ended and Death was coming. But unlike His old self who was afraid, this human Him welcomed it.
Perhaps it was irrationality on His part or maybe something simpler than that. But whatever reason He had, He wouldn't tell anyone about it. He just went through with and allowed no one to stop Him. Not Megumi, not Mr. Hanekoma, not even the other angels.
"Welcome back, Composer." Hanekoma greeted.
He brushed a stray lock of pale hair away from His face.
"Thank you as always…" He said, smiling.
END
This fic is a little different, I think. The premise of this one was inspired by reading Sandman. Every 100 years or so for 1 day, Death lives and dies as a mortal, just so she could see the value of the lives of those she takes... Something like that. And since the Composer for me isn't quite human anymore well... something like that. Oh well... I must be really strange.
Memento Mori means "Remember someday you will die" Or "Remember you are mortal". Memento Vivere means "Remember you must live." Or "Reminder of Life".
Please excuse me, I'm getting horribly confused...
Thank you for reading.