A/N: Hello, guys! I started writing this before Christmas, I swear, lol, but family kept me too busy this break to finish on time. :)
I don't own OTH or it's characters; only the ones I made up, the journey they took, as well as any and all mistakes, as it's unbeta'd. It's also more from Jamie's perspective.
Happy belated holidays to everyone who celebrated any. If not, hope you had a great 2011!
"You don't remember anything from last Christmas?" Jamie questions with a raised eyebrow. "Not the presents, or the lights on houses, or Santa Claus at the mall? 'Cause you cried when you saw him...a lot."
The three year old shrugs, reaching for another crayon. "Who's that?"
"Santa Claus?"
"Yeah."
"Only the man who brings presents for everyone to open on Christmas morning!"
She looks up in interest at that statement. "Like birfdays? 'Cause I got toys when I turned twree." She holds up the amount of fingers to demonstrate.
Jamie leans forward, "Even better than birthdays. Christmas is when all the family gets together, there's lots of food, and everyone gets presents to open, not just one person. Everyone has to give other people something, and then they get presents, too. The whole world celebrates Christmas!"
"Why?"
He thinks about it for a moment, then shrugs. Honestly, he doesn't yet know the reasoning behind the holiday, only that his mom says it's the one time of year people are most willing to be charitable. And somehow, that ties up into giving each other presents under the excuse of a jolly man who flies around in a sleigh pulled by magic reindeer. He's much too old—at nine—to believe that a single man can do all that in one night. And last year, he stayed awake for almost the whole night and never saw anyone.
But his cousin is still a baby, so he'll go along with it. Plus, his mom likes to think he's too young to know that the extra presents are hidden in the trunk of the car until Christmas Eve, and that she's the one who puts them under the tree and eats the cookies he leaves out. He saw her do that when he was seven, the time they celebrated at Aunt Brooke's house and he worried that Santa wouldn't find him. So his mom did it instead.
"Jamie? How I get p'esents for Mommy and Daddy?" Sawyer looks worriedly up at him.
"You can make 'em something. Like a picture." He suggests. "Or help your mom pick a present for your dad, and your dad pick a present for your mom. That's what I do."
She nods, "'Kay. I do that."
Jamie picks up a crayon and fiddles with it. "Hey, Sawyer. Want to write a letter to Santa?"
"Why?"
He rolls his eyes at her favorite question. "That way he knows what presents to bring you on Christmas. We write it down, give it to your mom or dad to put in the mail, and then hopefully you get what you asked for. Santa won't know what to bring you if you don't tell him."
Sawyer makes a face. "Who's 'tanta?"
"I told you, he brings presents." Jamie huffs out. "He's really old, even older than...than your grandpa Larry. And he's really round, like a basketball. Plus, he wears all red and has a beard, and laughs like this: ho, ho, ho!"
She giggles, clambering to her feet to get to the shelf in the hallway outside her bedroom. "Is this 'tanta?" She brings him a picture frame, one of Peyton as a little girl sitting on Santa's lap.
"Yeah. See? He was even old when your mom was little!" He takes the frame from her hand, leading her back to the shelf and pointing out the others. "And that's him with Uncle Lucas when your dad was a kid, and that one is when you cried on him at the mall."
"I just a baby." She defends. "'tranger, danger."
Jamie laughs. "Stranger, danger doesn't count if your mom says it's okay! Maybe this year you won't be so scared. Then he'll bring you presents. He only gives them to good boys and girls."
"You're not good. You breaked Uncle Nate's phone."
"That was an accident!" Jamie exclaims. "And it doesn't make me bad. I didn't mean to, and I said I was sorry. Bad is when you aren't sorry or you break the law."
"Oh." She just gives him a weird look of confusion and skips back to the little table in her room. "Are we gonna wite letters now?"
"Yeah." He sits down beside her, once again reaching for a crayon and pulling a sheet of paper towards him. "I'll write one for you first, then me. What do you want to get for Christmas?"
"A cown." Sawyer flattens her hands against the top of her blonde curls. "With di'mins on it, like Aunt Booke had when she was little like me."
"A crown." Jamie repeats in slight disbelief. "Really?"
"Yeah. And paints like Mommy's got." She makes a face of distaste, dropping her hands from her head to push at a crayon. "I only gots these."
"You're still too little for paints like that, though."
"Nuh uh. Mommy lets me use paints in the backyard! Big girl paints." She informs him.
He snickers to himself, knowing she's referring to the bright watercolors kids get to play with. Aunt Peyton uses real paints, the kind his mom won't even let him have, since they aren't washable.
"Okay, fine. I'll put it on your list. What else?"
She tilts her head, "Umm. A 'lellow car, like on TV."
"The ones you can ride in? Or the ones for dolls?"
She points to herself, "Me. And I can give you wides, too."
He just nods, trying not to laugh at the idea of her driving him around the driveway in a tiny car. "Is that it?"
"And a duckie."
Jamie stares at her for a moment. "What?"
"A duckie." She repeats with a nod. "With a little house."
"Why?"
"He needs a house to live in."
He shakes his head, "I mean, why do you want a duck?"
"I like duckies."
He just sighs. But writes it down all the same. He should've known better than to ask, anyway. "Done now, or do you wanna put more?"
"I done. Your turn!" She sing-songs gleefully. "And I'll color a pitchure on my letter!"
While she does that, he puts together his own list to Santa—just in case. He's double checking that he has everything he's hoping for, when he looks up to see his uncle come into the room.
"Hey you two. What'cha guys up to?" Lucas lowers to the floor to sit cross-legged by his daughter's chair.
Sawyer bounces in excitement, "Hi Daddy! Look! I wite a letter to 'tanta!" Leaning over to push it towards his face and practically falling into his lap in the process.
Lucas chuckles lightly, accepting the letter in one hand and using his other arm to guide her into place on his lap. "Let me see that. Nice drawing, baby girl. I'm sure Santa will love it."
The toddler beams, tilting her head back to look up at him. "It's a duckie in a house!"
"Really?" Jamie leans over to look, a little surprised that he can tell the picture is supposed to be a bird-like animal. She draws better than he'd expected. "Hmm, that is good."
"Yeah." Sawyer agrees.
Lucas and Jamie share a look at her matter-of-fact tone, both trying hard to suppress smiles. "So, Santa huh?" Lucas asks lightly, placing Sawyer's letter back on the table.
"Yep!" The toddler squeals. "Jamie tol' me 'bout him! He b'ings p'easents if you're good and he's really, really, old!"
Jamie laughs at her description. "Yeah. And, he only comes at Christmas, in the middle of the night. Down the chimney."
"What? How?" She turns to her dad for this one.
Lucas brushes an absent kiss to her head. "By magic. He comes in when everyone is sleeping and he uses magic. The kind that doesn't work if people see him."
"He gets on fire?"
"No, baby doll." Lucas chuckles. "The magic means the fire can't hurt him. And most people put them out before they go to bed, anyway."
"Oh."
"Uncle Lucas? How does one man visit the whole world in one night?"
"Magic." Sawyer stresses with a little glare. "Did-en you listen? Now be good, Jamie."
He looks back at her, a little offended. "I am good!"
"No."
"Yeah, huh!" The nine-year-old argues back. "Better than you!"
"No!" She shakes her head. "You're not nice!"
"Hey, hey, hey." Lucas interrupts before it can turn into a full blown argument. Frankly, he's astonished at how much these two can get into it. "You're both very good kids, okay? But if you keep arguing, I can guarantee there won't be any presents for either of you. Understand?"
He's answered with nods from both kids. "Good. Now, Jamie, your mom's here and I think you guys are staying for dinner. Come on." With that, he gets up and gestures the kids to follow him as he heads towards the kitchen.
Jamie just looks at Sawyer with a disgruntled expression. "Just see if I ever try to help you with Christmas again."
She makes a face, pointing at him, "See! Mean."
"Am not." He mumbles as he rolls his eyes and follows his baby cousin as she runs down the hallway. He's not mean...he wrote her list, didn't he?
0.o o_o o.0
"Okay, I have the paper, pencils, crayons..." Jamie lists off, laying the objects on the tiny tea table as he names them. "That's everything."
"Except Lyddie." Sawyer giggles.
He looks around his sister's room, a little surprised to see the toddler missing. "Where'd she go?"
"I dunno." Sawyer shrugs. But her poorly suppressed smile gives her away.
"Come on, Soy. I don't have time for games. I'm supposed to be meeting Chuck later."
She frowns up at him. "Lyddie just wants to play. Don't be mean, Jay."
"I'm not!" It's an automatic response, something they've argued about since practically the moment Sawyer learned that word. He still doesn't like when she says that, since he feels that he does a lot more for his siblings and cousin than most kids his age. And that's nice.
"Jay-Jay mad?" His little sister crawls out from under her bed and looks up with beseeching brown eyes.
He shakes his head, picking her up and hugging her. "Of course not, Lyds. I love you."
"And Bri?"
"I love Brian, too."
"And Soy?"
He sighs, "Her, too."
"That sounds like you don't mean it." His five-year-old cousin pouts. "Santa is not gonna be impressed."
"Santa b'ings toys!" Lydia half-yells as she wiggles to get down. "Lets wite letters!"
Sawyer joins the little girl at the table, asking Jamie, "You told her about Santa?"
"Last night. Explained about how we write letters telling him what we want and that he brings presents if you're good."
Lydia nods emphatically. "But we hada wait for Soy, Jay-Jay said."
At the wide eyed glance from his cousin, Jamie groans and shrugs. "It's tradition."
"I love you, too." Sawyer beams, leaning over to give him a hug.
Lydia looks up from the crayon she's scribbling with. "What 'bout a letter for Bri?"
"He's only two." Jamie explains, sitting down at the table. "Santa always brings stuff for babies."
"I four."
Sawyer nods at her. "Four is a big-girl age. Big enough to ask Santa for things you really want."
"Almost four." Jamie corrects. "Like, ten more months to go."
"I four!" Lydia insists, waving her crayon at her brother.
"Almost." He laughingly argues back.
"I four!"
Sawyer rolls her eyes, "It's not a Brandy song. She can be four if she wants to, it won't hurt anybody."
"Going old school with uncle Skillz a lot, huh?"
She just laughs, apparently understanding his wry and mocking comment about one of Brandy's songs.
The three of them get to work, starting with Lydia's letter. The toddler insists her brother write in different colored crayons and her cousin draw some pictures to go with the toys she asked for. Lydia's job becomes handing them crayons and pointing to where she wants the pictures.
When she's done, the youngest member runs off to play with her favorite doll and miniature kitchen, leaving the other two at the table staring after her in amazement.
"I don' think anyone ever looked at my drawings so close before." The five-year-old flops back in her chair, pushing blonde curls from her face. "I'm all drawed out!"
Jamie laughs, nodding his head. "That was a lot of work for a letter to Santa. Lyd's a perfectionist, I guess."
"You guess?" Sawyer scoffs. "I had to re-draw that dollhouse three times!"
"I know. Since I had to re-write that letter who knows how many times."
They look at each other and burst into laughter.
"Okay, Soy. Your turn." He leans forward, snatching up a pencil and looking at his cousin expectantly.
She wrinkles up her nose and gestures with her own crayon, "I can write it."
"You sure?"
"Yep. You write yours."
He shrugs, "Okay, if you say so."
Barely a few moments pass before Sawyer's interrupting him, "Jamie? How do you spell sister? And Brother?"
He jerks his head in surprise, looking over to her paper which has careful block printing that says: Deer Santa, I have bin good all yeer. Pleez can I have a baby s
He almost wants to laugh, but she's only five and still believes she'll get what she asks for. He's not sure how to explain this. "Soy, you can't ask Santa for brothers or sisters."
"Why not?"
"Because he can't bring things like that. Um…Santa doesn't carry live things." Jamie casts around for an example. "Oh! Remember that time you asked for a duck? Did you get it?"
She shakes her head. "Not at Christmas. I got one later."
"What?" He stares, confused about what she means. He doesn't remember her getting a duck...ever.
"I kinda got one." She shrugs, making a face at him. "You know the little pond at the park? After my birthday when I was four, me and Daddy went to feed the duckies there. One of the mommies was being really mean to a baby and the other duckies were not helping it. Daddy says sometimes an'mals do that when they think the baby is too little. So we 'dopted it, and put it in the lake by our house. And we fed it 'til it was big. We still do, 'cept I don't know which duckie is exactly mine 'cause there's lots at the lake."
"Oh." He has no words. Or any idea how to get around this, either. So he tries again. "Well, do you remember how Brian got here?"
She nods, "He grew in Aunt Haley's tummy. Then a doctor got him out."
Jamie latches on to that. "All babies have to grow in a mommy's tummy. So if you want brothers or sisters, you have to ask your mom, not Santa."
"I did! At Brian's birthday!" She exclaims. "Mommy said she would talk to Daddy about it. I asked him just in case she forgot, and Daddy said I can't have one. So I'm asking Santa, 'cause I always get what I ask for at Christmas. Even a duckie that I got later. Daddy told me that Santa finds a way even if you have to wait 'til after Christmas to get it."
The eleven-year-old boy drops his head. He really doesn't know what to do now.
"Jamie? How do you spell sister?"
"Soy." He sighs. "If your mom and dad said no, I don't think Santa's gonna be much help."
"He will." She insists. Then she looks behind her to make sure Lydia's occupied and can't hear. "'Cause at my house, Daddy is Santa and he told me that Christmas wishes always come true. Daddy will make sure I get one so that I still believe in Santa."
Jamie stares in stunned silence before finding his voice, "You mean, you...don't?"
She shakes her head. "I saw Daddy eating the cookies last year. Then my friend Jeff said Santa is make-believe, and when I said he wasn't, Jeff asked his big brother, who said I was wrong. He said that Santa is a lie to get kids to be good and that it's really the parents who do everything. And Daddy did eat the cookies I put there for Santa."
And it's big brothers like Jeff's that give a definition to mean. Jamie always thought it was a big brother's job to make sure his siblings believe in the magic for as long as they can. And that extends to little cousins, so Sawyer's words just make him a little sad.
"Santa's not a lie." He attempts, but only earns a large sigh for his efforts. "Okay, but...what if your mom and dad just don't want a baby right now?"
Sawyer looks a little uncertain. "But...why not? They like babies and Mommy's always teasing that she's gonna steal Brian 'cause he's so cute."
"I dunno. Maybe they just want one: you." In all honesty, Jamie doesn't really remember when his aunt Peyton was pregnant with Sawyer, but he does know that it wasn't easy and everyone was scared. He figures that's probably why they only had one baby.
The five-year-old studies her letter, determinedly picking up her pencil again. "I'm gonna put it anyway. Gran'ma Karen says the world is full of magic and maybe this is a way to get some. How do you spell sister, Jay?"
Jamie gives in, helping her finish off the letter. She only asks for one thing.
-x-
When he opens the door to the other Scott family for their Christmas 'all family' dinner, Jamie's utterly stunned by the beaming smile on his cousin's face.
Sawyer bops around, playing with the little kids, teasing Jamie, and telling every adult who asks about the gifts she got from Santa. He figures she still thinks she'll get a brother or sister later. And it makes him not want to be around to see her face when 'later' doesn't come.
It's during dessert when Aunt Brooke bursts into loud laughter and draws everyone's attention to the little girl sitting on her right. "Alright baby Brooke, why on earth have you been so hyper today?"
Sawyer looks over to her other side, where her mom's sitting. Peyton rolls her eyes, grins and then nods.
Jamie watches a wide grin stretch over his cousin's face as Aunt Peyton helps her stand on her chair and gain everyone's attention.
"Okay, family!" Sawyer announces. "I got great news! I'm gonna be a big sister soon!"
And the dining room erupts into noise and action.
When Jamie's able to find time alone with his cousin later, Sawyer gives him the most enigmatic look he's ever seen on her face. "See, Jay? Momma said she was growin' the baby even before I asked Santa. It's magic. And Christmas has a whole lot of it."
He guesses it does.
0.o o_o o.0
The car is barely parked when Jamie dashes out and hurries to the door. He's excited to have finished his first semester of college, excited to have felt like he aced all his finals, and excited to spend winter break in Tree Hill with his family.
He'd already stopped by the café to see his mom and dad, and already forewarned his aunt and uncle that he would be stopping by.
It's tradition for the Scott kids—all five of them—to get together every year and write letters to Santa. And Jamie wasn't going to miss it or let it pass without him, just because he was an adult now at eighteen. He wasn't ready to see his siblings and cousins lose those moments of innocence yet, especially since it may not last much longer. His youngest cousin, Annabeth, was six now, and would probably outgrow Santa sometime soon.
It was a little disappointing to think about that.
After quietly greeting his aunt and uncle, Jamie makes his way upstairs and stops just outside the doorway to Sawyer's room, peeking in.
"It's so weird doing this without Jamie." A ten-year-old Lydia grumbles. "Stupid college that's too far away and stupid Jamie for saying he was gonna stay there."
Brian shrugs, "If I was him, I'd want to stay away from you, too!"
Lydia glares at her younger brother, reaching over to swat at him.
"Hey! Stop that." He demands as he swats her back.
She only makes the next swat harder.
"Ow!"
"Both of you stop." Sawyer sighs. "This is supposed to be a fun thing we all do, not a time to whine and fight. Poor Beth, who only wants to write to Santa, you know?"
Both younger kids settle down, looking abashed as they mumble apologies to the six-year-old watching them out of wide, green eyes.
Jamie chooses that moment to make his presence known, "We all? How is that possible without me?"
Four heads whip around at his voice, four pairs of eyes display various levels of shock and surprise, and four voices call out his name as they scramble up from their seated positions to hug him. He's really missed this.
"You're home!" Lydia cries, hugging him again. "I thought you weren't coming."
Jamie laughs, "Well, I wasn't sure I'd be able to, since I had to work. But the department closed for break."
"Why didn't you tell us?" His brother demands, frowning up at him.
He grins and ruffles the dark mop of hair Brian badly needs to cut, "I wanted it to be a surprise."
"Do Aunt Haley and Uncle Nate know you're home?" Sawyer asks.
"Of course. And I already stopped by the café to see them, then came straight here when they said everyone was gathering to write letters." Jamie adopts a theatrical tone and sighs loudly, "I couldn't believe it when I found out I was being left out of a tradition I started!"
"You started!" Sawyer laughs as she shakes her head, making curls fly. "It was my idea to do it every year."
"And my idea to agree to that plan." He says blithely. And then has to dodge the playful kick she aims his way.
"Just like a guy to take all the credit."
Beth pipes up suddenly, throwing her arms around his legs again. "I'm glad you're here. I missed you!"
"Missed you, too pipsqueak."
She wrinkles her nose at him, but tightens the hug all the same.
"I bet you didn't miss Lyd. She's a big 'ol brat to be around." Brian announces, making a face at their sister.
She narrows brown eyes at the nine-year-old, "You mean being around Brian, the Annoyer."
"Bet you didn't miss that." Sawyer murmurs under her breath to him.
Jamie only sighs, informing his siblings that he missed both of them, but would be more than happy to go back to school if they didn't stop arguing. It takes him awhile to get Beth to release her hold on his legs, and a long time to answer the barrage of questions the younger Scotts have about his life away from them.
The five of them sprawl across the floor of Sawyer's room, creating their letters, teasing each other, sharing ideas to put on their lists, and basically being the family they've always been, the one Jamie's really missed this semester away.
He thinks it's going to be a great holiday break.
-x-
He's rethinking that a week later, as he and Sawyer fight crowded stores in search of an elusive collector's doll Lydia requested.
"Ugh!" He exclaims in frustration. "I quit. I don't know why she has to have it anyway. It's a stupid doll she'll never play with!"
Sawyer looks up from the low shelf she's digging through. "First of all, it's the only one in the collection she's missing. Second, you don't play with collector dolls anyway, just like you don't play with baseball cards."
"Baseball cards make sense." He argues. "This is a doll."
She ignores that, continuing, "Third, we do this because we love her, and don't you want to see her face when you give her the one thing she's been wanting?"
"Soy," He tells her dryly, "She had way more than one thing on her list. Any one of them will make her happy."
A little squeak is the response he gets as his cousin pulls herself out of the shelves, triumphantly holding the boxed doll. "But this will make her day!"
"Yes! You found it. Does this mean we get to leave the hectic crowded store-of-death?"
She rolls her eyes, but assents and follows him to the check out lines.
With the doll in hand, Jamie finds that his patience has returned; good thing, with the length of the lines to contend with. He idly lets his gaze and his thoughts wander, watching the parents with overflowing carts, the young kids browsing through the candy and small toys displayed by the cash registers, and some toddlers throwing tantrums at not getting their way.
The tree in the corner catches his eye. "Hey, Soy, maybe we should pick one."
"Pick one what?" She questions, looking confused.
He gestures, "A name from the Angel Tree. You know, buy a gift for an underprivileged kid."
She scoffs, "Yeah, right."
And he can only stare in stunned disbelief. He absently moves forward as the line does, but focuses on searching his mind for words. He really can't believe his cousin's reaction, especially since Sawyer has always had a big heart.
"What? Don't look at me like that." She retorts, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.
He lightly shakes his head. "But, Soy, I don't understand why you'd say something like that. You've always been a big believer in Christmas and helping people, and—"
"I am." She interrupts. "I just don't like the Angel Tree idea."
"Why not?"
But their conversation comes to a pause as they reach the cashier. He quickly pays, then tugs Sawyer out the store and to the nearest bench. "Okay, explain."
"Well, you know how people always do things like that? Donate toys or money or whatever, at Christmas? Even our family, sometimes?" She shrugs.
He nods. "Yeah. Because our family has always been very blessed."
"I know." She gives him a small smile. "And so has my friend Brandon."
He gives her a look of confusion.
Sawyer shrugs again. "Brandon has been in foster care since he was, like, five. His birth mom won't sign her parental rights away so he can be adopted. But his foster family—the people he considers his real family—has always been very good to him."
"I'm not following." Jamie cuts in. "What does this have to do with the Angel Tree?"
"Well, he's a foster kid, so his name automatically goes on Angel Trees. He said his dad tried to get him taken off, since he gets everything he needs or asks for, but the system says he has to be on those. So he gets things when he doesn't really need to get them. And he knows a kid from the rec. center whose mom puts their family on every toy drive list in town, and the kid ends up with more stuff then some people get all year. The Angel Tree thing is a good idea, but it's not really used in the best ways." Sawyer explains earnestly.
Jamie slowly nods. "Sooo…you think all the names will be like that? What about those people who are on the Tree honestly, and aren't taking advantage?"
"Then…you help them in other ways." She says simply.
He gives her a look. "Like, how?"
Sawyer shrugs. "Do you remember last Thanksgiving?"
"Yeah, I do." He nods. "My mom and dad took Lyd, Bri, and me on that cruise, since they received a special deal."
"Mmhmm. And Aunt Brooke took the boys to visit their grandma. Daddy had to do a signing in New York, since there was a special release, but we couldn't go with him. And I remember pouting about how it wasn't fair that we were left behind by everyone, and how our holiday was totally ruined."
Jamie rolls his eyes. "Thanksgiving's not that big a deal."
"It felt like it to me." She makes a face at him. "Anyway, Beth and I were picking a lot more fights than usual and both of us and Mom were all feeling…off, I guess. So then Mom says she's had enough and that our holiday was still better than a lot of people's daily lives. She took us to a soup kitchen and we helped serve food to people and families who didn't normally eat regularly."
He feels his eyebrows shoot up, silently admiring his Aunt Peyton's way of handling his cousins' sulking. Even though he can't remember ever stepping foot in a place like that himself.
Sawyer continues, "Mom said sometimes time and effort to help is just as important as giving toys or money and even better if you do it during the times no one else does."
"Makes sense." Jamie says softly.
"Yeah." She nods. "So that's what we've been doing since, me and Beth and Momma and Daddy. We've helped at shelters, spent time with residents who don't have families and live in the retirement places, we've played with and donated all sorts of stuff to the kids living at the group homes and even volunteered to clean up around some neighborhoods."
He has to admit he's impressed. On a whim he asks, "So are you guys planning on doing anything for Christmas? I mean, like the shelters or the children's homes?"
"Yeah, we're helping to collect, inventory and wrap gifts for the children's homes. I got Brandon to help donate his extra stuff, along with a few of the kids who're in our class."
He grins, standing up and pulling her with him. "Well then, come on and show me something better than the Angel Tree. Who knows, I might learn something new."
-x-
Jamie spends a big portion of his break sorting, listing, wrapping, and labeling a vast assortment of toys and clothes. At times it's hard and frustrating, at times it's boring and monotonous, and sometimes it's fun and playful when groups of people participate.
But it's all worth it when he helps the few volunteers disperse the gifts on Christmas afternoon and watches the faces of the kids as they unwrap things that would be solely theirs.
He stands off to the side and watches his little sister play Barbie with another little girl and his dad help a preteen boy figure out his new grooming set. He witnesses his little brother run out to the car to get his prized new Lego set and then proceed to share it with some kids his age; the same brother who previously refused to let even his siblings touch his things.
The kids didn't get much, and he's aware that very few of them have actual families out there somewhere. But they still ran around and played, they still laughed, they still fought over toys, and they still showed off their newly acquired gifts to anyone willing to show an interest.
And he realizes that he did learn something new.
He learned that sometimes magic happens simply by caring and helping. And even if it's only in small ways or short moments, it can mean a lot. And it can be passed on from one person to another and another and another.
It's the type of magic that lasts beyond a simple date on the calendar. But maybe that simple date is simply a great place to start in spreading it.
He remembers Sawyer telling him once that Christmas has a lot of magic.
At eighteen-years-old, Jamie realizes he still feels the innocence of Christmas and it would probably never go away if he kept having moments like these.
It really is magic.
0.o o_o o.0
No, no, no, no, no. The mantra in his head is almost becoming a non-word as it cycles continuously. Jamie drives as fast as he dares, his wife Shari keeping him as calm as he could be given the situation.
He doesn't understand it.
He's thirty-four years old and can't quite grasp how something like this can happen. Especially to someone like Sawyer, a person with a big and giving heart. Someone who goes out of her way time and again to help others when there's need of it.
He had already known that there were heart problems with her unborn child. The ultrasound and tests performed hinted at some kind of deformity of the organ, but the doctors had taken a wait-and-see attitude, telling Sawyer that after the baby was born they'd be able to run better tests.
Well, the baby was coming after only twenty-nine weeks. And coming in a lot of distress.
Hand in hand with Shari, he races into the hospital and straight to the nurses' station. "I'm looking for Sawyer Remington? She's having a baby?"
The nurse busies herself at a computer, then looks up. "Maternity is on the 5th floor. Take the elevator, go left and straight down the hall. At the end, go right, and there's a waiting room. The doctor will give you news there."
Quickly thanking her, Jamie and his wife follow the directions that lead to a roomful of Scotts.
He heads straight for his mom. "Anything?"
"Not yet." Haley tells him quietly.
He nods jerkily, taking a seat near his cousin Annabeth. Almost absently, the twenty-two year old reaches over and grips his hand. Lydia's on her other side also holding her hand, and Jamie exchanges looks with his sister. Now it's time to wait.
No one really says anything beyond some small talk as they wait anxiously. And everyone comes to attention when a doctor arrives and asks for Sawyer's family.
"Mrs. Remington came through the cesarean fine, and you'll be able to go visit her in a few minutes. But only two in the room at a time, please. She's in some physical distress and I believe the emotions will hit her hard when the grogginess fades."
"And the baby?" Brent, Sawyer's husband, asks in a hoarse voice.
The doctor meets his gaze. "It's a boy. Seventeen inches long and three and a half pounds. We put him on oxygen and rushed him to tests. I'll know more conclusively in a few hours."
Jamie sits back in his chair, a mix of relief and worry swimming through him. The baby's okay for now, but they still know absolutely nothing.
Brent and Peyton are the first two to disappear from the waiting room, as expected. Jamie lets his head fall into his hands and his thoughts wing back into time.
"I can't do it!" The four-year-old glares at her hands on her shoelaces. "These don't work, they're broked!"
Jamie laughs. "They work, 'cause there's no way for them to be broken. Come on, try again, I'll help."
A few more tries and she's able to clumsily tie her laces into a knot. "I did it!"
"You did!"
"Thanks for helping, Jay."
If only it were that easy to help with this. He knows that once her anesthesia wears off, she's going to be worried and scared and emotional. And he doesn't know what to do.
Sawyer was always the one who seemed to know how to weather emotional moments.
"Son, stop pacing and calm down." Nathan laughs, "It's only a wedding."
He's not amused. "It's my wedding! And I want it to be perfect. What if something goes wrong, Dad?"
"You mean, like what if Shari pulls a runaway bride?"
He whirls around to see a laughing Sawyer peeking in. "Not funny!"
"It is." She enters the room and catches his arm to still him. She reaches up to adjust his tie. "The woman is as crazy about you as you are about her. And even if the wedding's not absolutely perfect, I know the marriage will be. Because you two love each other. Today is only a ceremony, and only one of many days you'll spend with each other."
He's not sure if it's her words or the serenity in her eyes or the fact that he can see his dad in the corner of the room nodding.
But his nerves practically disappear.
He sighs to himself remembering his wedding day. And has to give a small smile when he remembers hers.
Jamie ambles down the hall and peeks into the back room where the bride and her attendants are gathered.
Lydia and Annabeth are both fiddling with Sawyer's dress as the woman in question knots her fingers nervously.
He laughs to himself as he walks up behind her. "Afraid Brent will pull a runaway groom?"
"Not funny." But she laughs at the reversal of the conversation. And visibly relaxes.
Jamie grins. "You nervous?"
"Why would she be?" Lydia butts in, narrowing her eyes at her brother. "Brent's a great guy and adores her."
"I know he does." Jamie rolls his eyes. "But she can still be nervous."
Sawyer turns to him, "Is this how you felt? Like…butterflies have taken over your stomach?"
"Um, no." Jamie settles his hands on her shoulders. "But I think that's a good sign."
"Why?" Annabeth asked, making a final adjustment to her sister's veil and stepping back.
"Because it would suck if you felt nothing."
Sawyer rolls her eyes and lightly shoves at his chest. "You really have a way with words, Jay."
"Soy, no matter what words I say, I know you're gonna have a great day and a great marriage. Just remember what you told me. The same applies to you and Brent, 'cause I've seen it."
"Thank you."
He grins. "But if he hurts you in any way, I'll totally kick his ass."
When she laughs and their sisters launch into teasing, the vague uneasiness that had plagued him that morning fades. It wouldn't matter how life changed for any of them, they'd still be the same family they've always been.
And that's a comforting thought.
He raises his head when his Aunt Peyton returns and gestures for her husband to go. Lucas wastes no time in hurrying out the room.
"P. Scott, how's she doing?" Brooke's the first one to ask, enfolding her best friend's hand in her own as she tugs the other woman onto the chair beside her.
Jamie watches his aunt sigh and lean against her best friend. "She's…holding. Worried. The doctor said they'll tell her and Brent about the baby first, and Brent will tell us once they know."
Murmurs and nods flow around the room as silence once again falls.
"They named him Scott." Peyton's voice cracks as she nearly whispers it. "Actually, Nolan Scott Remington, but she wants to call him Scott. After the family."
Beth tears up and tightens her grip on Jamie's hand; his wife lets out a small, choked cry on his other side. Probably thinking about their own child, a daughter they named Christina, because he wanted something that made him think of the family.
And Christmases had always reminded him of those moments with his siblings and cousins.
Including that first one after him and Shari were married.
"Hey!" He opens the door, surprised to find Lydia, Sawyer, Brian, and Annabeth on his doorstep. "What's up?"
"It's the first week of December." Lydia states, with all the confidence that he'll understand what she means.
He does, but he's also confused.
"Dude, we've rarely missed it." Sawyer exclaims, brushing past him and into his house. "Even when all of us were scattered around with school or whatever."
Jamie eyes his family in confusion. "Yeah, but…I thought…"
"You thought wrong, big brother." Brian informs him with a laugh. "Now, where's Shar? We got Christmas traditions to uphold!"
And they did. Effortlessly enfolding his wife into it, they sat around talking and laughing, sharing stories of holidays past.
No matter what, they had maintained that little tradition in the Scott families. When Lily moved permanently to Tree Hill, they included her as well. They made room for her husband and step-children, for her own daughter, for Jamie's daughter, for Sawyer's husband, and for Lydia's husband as these new members came along.
But even then, at the core of it remained Jamie and Sawyer. He can't explain the odd little bond they have, or even when he first noticed it was there. But it was something special he liked having and hoped would never change.
Jamie looks up when Lucas returns, quietly telling the group another person can go in. Almost as if previously arranged, no one moves except Beth, who darts to the room holding her sister.
Shari tightens her hold on Jamie's hand, using her free one to rub his shoulder. Sighing, he closes his eyes and leans into her hand seeking the comfort he's always found with her.
"This is my girlfriend, Shari." He introduces. "Shar, my sister, Lydia, and cousin, Sawyer. They came to surprise me."
"Surprise!" Lydia giggles, "Nice to meet you."
Shari nods, taking her hand. "You, too. Jamie's told me a lot about you."
He squirms under two females' mocking gazes; because, well, he hadn't mentioned Shari to any of the family yet. He hadn't wanted to jinx anything.
Which is embarrassing, considering he's twenty-seven.
The afternoon didn't go badly as he feared it might. Lydia and Shari had gotten along great and his girlfriend had found countless things to laugh over with Sawyer. Before leaving, his sister had told him to hold onto Shari.
Sawyer had simply said, "She'll fit in just fine."
Jamie had collapsed onto the couch after they left, leaving Shari to stand there and laugh down at him. "Hey, it wasn't that bad!"
"I know." Jamie chuckles. "It's just they've always had a way of exhausting me."
She drops down next to him, wrapping her arms around him and smiling coyly, "That's okay. I'll make you feel better."
She's always helped, even in the really bad situations. It's comforting on one level to know that Sawyer has Brent to help her feel better.
But she's still his little cousin and he still doesn't know what to do.
Annabeth comes in, fighting tears, as she announces that someone else can take a turn. Brooke jumps out of her seat before anyone can say or do anything. Beth lets the tears fall and sits next to her mom for comfort. "I peeked into the nursery, too. At all the healthy babies."
And those words fling him back to seven years ago.
"Look at all those beautiful, healthy babies." Sawyer coos to herself, leaning against the glass of the nursery windows to get a better look.
Jamie comes up on her side. "I can't wait."
"Whoa…" She whirls around in surprise, whacking his arm when she recognizes him. "Dude, you scared me! And what are you doing here anyway, shouldn't you be with Shari?"
He nods, "She said she wanted a break from my hovering. And I did have to use the bathroom, so win-win."
She laughs.
They stand in silence for a moment, until he just needs to ask, "You think I'll be a good dad? I'm a little nervous…"
"You'll be great." Her reply comes without hesitation. "I mean, you were always good with all of us, you know, with most of the kids being born way after you. And you and Shari are pretty cool. For being so old."
He lightly shoves her at the last statement, making her giggle. But he thinks maybe he and his wife will be okay. Because they are cool.
Christina Natalie Scott was born four hours later, and the moment he held her for the first time, he knew he'd do anything to be a good father to her.
And maybe that's the most saddening thought of the moment. It's not that Nolan Scott Remington was born way too soon. It's not that he'll have to remain in the hospital for a while as he develops and grows. It's not even the fact that something is wrong with his heart.
It's that his parents probably never got to hold him after he was born. It's that they probably won't get to for a long time. If the baby makes it.
The thought has Jamie fighting down a lump in his throat at the same time he notices Brooke return. She looks right at him, her expression telling him it's his turn.
Shari gives a squeeze to his hand and then gently lets go. No one says anything as he walks out of the waiting room, but he almost wishes someone would protest and say it's their turn.
He still hasn't figured out what to do.
He enters the room to find Brent gripping one of Sawyer's hands as his cousin sniffles and wipes her eyes with her free fingers.
"Hi." It comes out rough-sounding as Jamie takes the second chair by her bed and settles a hand on her arm.
Wide, blue eyes look up at him, the expression reminding Jamie of a young Sawyer waiting for someone to make any and all hurts go away.
His heart clenches.
Before any words can be said, the doctor comes in and asks to speak to the Remington's about the baby. Jamie gives her hand a solid squeeze and rubs Brent's shoulder as he passes. Because this is it.
It's maybe half an hour later when Brent walks into the waiting room.
Jamie's vaguely shocked at the ravaged expression on the man's face, the red-rimmed eyes that evidence crying. Everyone seems to be holding their breaths as they wait for news about the baby.
"It's…bad." Brent manages, curling his hands into fists by his side. "They're putting him on the transplant list, hoping something comes along in the next few months. But they said they can't do a transplant anyway, until he's further developed. So he's going to undergo some surgery today, umm, something to help his heart hang on until he's bigger."
Every other person in that waiting room starts tearing up before he even finishes the explanation. Jamie hadn't realized just how hopeful he was that the baby would be perfectly fine, until he's told that he's not.
Later that night, as Jamie's watching his daughter fall asleep, he sends up a plea to whoever is listening that Nolan would be okay. That Sawyer would stay strong through it all.
It's the week before Christmas. Magic, miracles, and wishes always seem better around Christmas. At least, he still hopes so.
0.o o_o o.0
"Daddy, come on!" Christina bounces into the kitchen. "We have to write our letters to Santa now!"
Jamie chuckles, "Okay, Peanut, I'll be there in a second."
"Okay." The eight-year-old gives him a winning smile. "But hurry. Aunt Sawyer says we'll start without you if you don't get in there ASAP!"
He makes a face at his daughter, then another one at his wife when she snickers at him. "Come on, hon, I don't want to see you pout when we get there and they've started."
"I don't pout." And to prove his point, he gives her a highly exaggerated pout.
She rolls her eyes, and blows him a kiss. He grins.
"Will you draw on my letter, too?"
Jamie walks into the living room just in time to hear Lydia tease Sawyer; not that it's really teasing, as Sawyer had always drawn on Lydia's letters.
"Mine, too, Cousin Soy!" Amy, Lily's youngest daughter, requests excitedly.
Sawyer wrinkles her nose at the little girl, "Only if you help me pick the best colors."
"Okay!" She giggles, and then turns to her mom to inform her of what Sawyer is going to do.
Jamie laughs, listening to Beth and Sarah (Brian's fiancée) have a name-game; both women determined to come up with the oddest names for Jude's pending baby. He doesn't think his cousin would go for Cup Cake Baker or Fake En Baker. But they are hilarious options.
"Hey, Little Man." Jamie coos, gently picking up Scott from Brent's lap. "How're you doing?"
The baby gives him a big smile, showing off the five teeth he has. His small fist bops against Jamie's nose, "Nnn."
"Nose." He affirms with a nod. "You're so smart…"
Scott beams again, and then starts wiggling excitedly. "Ma!"
Jamie turns to see Sawyer clambering to a standing position behind him. She laughs, reaching out for her son.
The baby nearly lurches right out of Jamie's grasp, sending the man's heart into a rapid, erratic pattern.
It must show on his face, since Sawyer gently takes her son and positions him on one hip, using her free hand to catch her cousin's arm and lead him a few feet away.
"Hey, Jay, you alright?" Her tone is cautious.
"Yeah." He nods quickly. Then sighs, "Not…entirely. A little nervous still, I guess."
She smiles at him. "Can I tell you a secret? So am I. A lot of the times."
He pulls her into a side hug, not knowing what to really say about that. He understands it.
Scott had been a fighter since before birth. He'd gone through surgery after being alive for only hours. Again when he was three months old. He'd had a setback with an illness that had the entire family on edge. It also meant he missed the donor heart because he was too ill and too small. It took another few months before he was well enough to handle a big surgery.
He'd had his transplant operation at nine-months old. And so far, no extreme complications. But, of course, there were still cautions and worries.
They were celebrating his very first Santa letter-writing, birthday, and Christmas practically all in one go with the month of December.
"Aunt Soy?" Christina interrupts their quiet moment. "Can I hold Nol-Scott?"
Jamie's immediate reaction is an emphatic no.
But Sawyer says, "Of course you can, Chris-Nat." She uses one of the many nicknames the children have given each other. "But it might be easier if you're sitting down."
"Okay!" Her enthusiasm doesn't wane at all.
Jamie has to admit that he's hovering, but he's still scared. To him, it's a hold-your-breath kind of moment to pass Scott from one adult to another. It's even more terrifying to watch him being passed to an eight-year-old.
"Hi Nolan." Christina coos. "You having a good time? Did'ja make a list for Santa? 'Cause he brings all sorts of things, and you only have to ask."
Sawyer stands, seemingly satisfied with the girl's hold on her bouncy son. She turns to her cousin, "You have a pretty awesome girl, there, Jay."
He nods absently, keeping his focus on the two kids sitting on the end of the couch. He can hear his daughter telling the baby all about Santa. The same things they've told her over the years.
The same things the Scott 'kids' have been sharing with younger siblings and children for years. Since the first time Jamie explained the holiday to Sawyer.
He turns to the curly-haired blonde and grins. "Do you remember the first time we did this?"
She laughs. "Not really. But the stories I hear are pretty awesome. I was a cute kid."
"What's the first year you actually remember?" He tilts his head in curiosity.
Sawyer considers a moment, before smiling slowly. "The year we also wrote letters to my uncle Derek and a few other Marines. I was what…six? Seven?"
"Six." He laughs. "You insisted on drawing a picture of Christmas trees and stars all over the borders of every letter."
"It was pretty!" She exclaims, making a face at him. "What's the first year you remember?"
He rolls his eyes. "I was nine the first time we did this, and I remember it."
"Okay." She pokes him in the side, "How about the first time you wrote a letter to Santa by yourself? Or with your parents."
He thinks for a moment, not really recalling such a time. But he knows it happened, since he's heard the stories of Christmases before Sawyer. "You know, I don't remember. I guess you made an impact."
"Because I'm just that amazing." She jokes lightly.
He chuckles too, watching her cross to Christina when his daughter calls for Sawyer. Scott apparently missed his momma.
Jamie leans against the wall, taking a moment to soak it all in. To watch various family members as they joke, tease, laugh, write, and explain. His mom and Aunt Peyton are flipping through the music collection and discussing their mutual love; his dad is industrially coloring with Andrew, one of Lily's sons; his Uncle Lucas is reading to two-month old Abby (Davis' daughter), with Beth leaning against his side and listening as well.
And his very own Christina is helping a younger cousin carefully write out a list to mail to Santa.
His gaze lands on Sawyer, his younger cousin, as she gently sways her son from side to side.
Her son who's okay. Who's able to celebrate this tradition with the family instead of being in the hospital again. Who's able to, one day, be one of those kids who helps a younger sibling or cousin write a letter to Santa.
Who'll one day explain the meaning behind the holiday to an innocent heart.
Jamie smiles to himself as he watches the much bigger and more hectic tradition take place. He can admit that it took him a long time to understand and that it happened in small moments built up bit-by-bit until a firm foundation was built. Until he fully believed.
It's magic.
Christmas just happens to have more of it than any other time of year, simply because people are more open to experiencing it.
But it happens every day. With his family.
fin
A/N: Let me know what you thought!
I also have a question for you awesome readers: I've decided to do a self-imposed story challenge. I'm going to write a story in exactly 1,000 words, but I can't decide on a storyline. If you want to toss out ideas, challenge me with specific storylines, etc. then let me know (in your review or via pm). Even better, if anyone wants to take up the challenge, too, and try your hand at a 1,000 word short story! lol, I have 1 1/2 weeks left of break, and this will be a fun way to fill it. :)