Hello, we are BadFanFixInc! We write bad fan fics! Please enjoy this bit of nonsense and remember that flames will be used to cook us dinner.

After many miles, Wendy Oldbag finally found the man for her. A strong, silent, brilliant man. Give up yet? this man's name is Miles Edgeworth. After years waiting and hundreds of flowers he finally acknowledged her existence.

"Hello" He stated in his oh so hot serious voice. "Who are you again?"

"Oh, playing hard to get, is he?" Wendy thought. "Oh please don't you remember me, Edgy-poo" She said while fluttering her lashes.

Edgeworth looked taken aback "OLDBAG" He yelled in a very manly way, "You look older; I can see a few extra wrinkles." Oldbag was about to retort when he continued "It looks good on you." He smiled.

Oldbag blushed. "Why, thank you. You just saved me money; I thought I would need a Botox."

"Oh no," He said moving closer "I like it."

"Oh, Edgy-poo!" He stepped even closer "You have never looked more attractive in my eyes…" He whispered in her ear.

"Edgy-poo…"

"I never wanted to admit it, but I have always loved you, ever since the first time you said 'Whippersnapper'"

"I love you too!"

"Let's get married"

"Oh EDGYPOO! YES!"

Sadly though, their wedding had to come to a halt. The lovely Mrs. Edgeworth to be was caught at her game… MURDER!

"But Oldy-Moldy, how could you do that?!" Edgeworth asked.

"Oh, it wasn't my fault! It was those whippersnappers!"

"Whippersnappers you say?! They deserved it." Edgeworth said with disgust in his hot voice.

"Yes, them and their smart phones! Back in my day we all had respect for each others privacy and we never tried to track eachother we talked in person I swear kids these days have absolutely no respect and will never get off their lazy butts to do anything worthwhile and only fiddle away their time on the internet I can't believe what has happened to society back in my day we worked first and saved play for later those irresponsible disrespectful WHIPPERSNAPPPERS!" Wendy yelled.

"There there" Edgerworth said while petting his beloveds head."I completely agree…"

"OH EDGY POO! I don't wanna go to jail!"

"Don't worry my love, I will protect you no matter what! BACK TO THE FORGE!" with that he left. He returned soon after. "Wendy my dear, I went to the forge to forge evidence for you my love!"

"OH EDGYPOOKIMS!" Wendy squealed. Edgeworth blushed, his nickname just got upgraded!

"Thank you, Oldey-Moldypoo."

"OH EDGY WEDGY!"

"YES WENDY MINDY"

"OH WORTHY SMURTHY"

"YES BAGGY WAGGY" And then they kissed.

Courtroom

"Is the prosecution ready?" The Judge asked.

"Yes your honor." Edgeworth replied.

"Is the defense ready?"

"Yes your honor." Maya replied.

"Ms. Fey, where is Mr. Wright?"

"He was targeted by the smart phone killer. He said getting one would help with his work, but guess he is in the hospital now instead."

"Darn, now I can't blame Wright… BUT I did make extras! Maya Fey prepare to go to prison AGAIN!" Edgy-poo thought.

"Very well. Let the Trial begin." The Judge said. "Mr. Edgeworth, you opening?"

"Yes your Honor. Maya Fey… I HAVE EVIDENCE TO PROVE YOU ARE THE MURDERER!"

"WHAT?" Judgy said.

"WHAT?" Maya said.

"I see no need to continue this. I pronounce the defendant NOT GUILTY!"

"BUT, I hardly think this is fair your honor!" Maya said.

"No way, Mr. Edgeworth would never go to a forge to forge evidence! EVER!"

"But-"

"NOT GUILTY NOT GUILTY NOT GUILTY!" The Jury cried.

"YOU DID IT EDGYPOO!" Wendy cried

"Yep, and the fact that the defendant is dating the prosecutor is not suspicious at all. Edgeworth never lies!" The Judge said happily.

Back home

"We did it oldy-moldy!"

"Yes Edgy…Wedgy…Poo…Kims…" And she passed out.

"NO WENDY BEAR!"

Hospital

"She is on her death bed." The doctor said.

"NOT MY WENDY!"

"Yes. You should visit her."

Edgeworth stepped in, to see a dead Oldbag.

"I thought you said I could visit her. I can't visit somebody already dead!"

"It's a death bed bud, this shouldn't be a surprise." The nurse said.

"NO! I will get her back!"

And he set out to find a tall mountain. And there it was, Kurian village.

"Please! Is anyone here willing to channel my lost love forever?!" He shouted

"Do I get to live with you?" A young girl asked.

"Yes."

"YES I WILL!" She said.

"NO PICK ME!" Another girl popped in.

"NO ME!"

"STOP, You KNOW YOU WANT ME!"

"NO-M"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Edgeworth woke up in a sweat. "Worst nightmare I have ever had. How on earth…" He looked at his bedside and saw a jar of pills. The tag was falling off to reveal a new one, and he could briefly make out the fine print. 'Late Night Loons… Ever wanted to get your friend, enemy, or even girlfriend/boyfriend back for something they did? Give them some Late Night Loons. Chemically endorsed to bring out their most intensive fears during the night so they suffer a horrific nightmare. "What on earth? How did… Wait a minute!"

Flashback

"Hey Edgeworth." Phoenix and Maya shouted when they ran across him last night.

"Hello."

"Hey Mr. Edgeworth. You're looking kinda down. What's wrong?" Maya asked.

Edgeworth sighed. "This trial has been keeping me up all night. I can't seem to find time to sleep."

Phoenix and Maya glanced at each other, it was as if they were saying "Now's the time" How foolish Edgworth felt now…

"Here, these should help." Phoenix handed a bottle of pills. "I hope you feel better."

"Thanks." And with that they left.

Present

Edgeworth looked at the bottle again and flipped up the first tag it said sleeping pills. Of course. "WRIGHT!"

Outside

"Maya, WAIT UP!"

"No way, he yelled your name, not mine. Every man/woman for themselves!"

"NO BURGERS FOR YOU!"

An angry Edgeworth appeared behind him. His eyes were enough to turn even a fire spirit cold. "Any last words Wright?"

Phoenix just stared, then said "Yes in fact I do…

OBJECTION!"

The End

You can only guess what Edgeworth did next…