When Sam came home from the first hunt with Dean in years he was exhausted. After all the time away from both his dad and Dean it had been fun to see him. Although Sam hated the hunting, to see his brother had been fun.

His hunting life was back. They saved people and Dean was right. It was the family business. As soon as they had killed the demon, Jessica would be revenged and Sam's life would go back to normal.

His first meeting with Jesssica was still fresh in his mind.

Flashback.

SAM POV

I looked at the watch. Damn, I was late. Reason for that? Another nightmare. This time it had been a clown. The night before it was about a vampire that Dad had killed. The night before that it was a witch me and Dean had killed when I was 14. With Dads help of course but still. My first case and one that had left permanent scars on my body. I quickly stopped thinking about it. I didn't have time and I really didn't want to miss this class. It was important for my future.

I quickly motioned for the door only to discover it was locked. I cursed.

" Excuse me." I heard a voice from behind. I recognized her as a girl from my class.

" is running late, the lesson doesn't start for another 45 minutes." I looked at the girl. She had blonde long hair and blue eyes.

"Oh, thanks" I said and made a move to go home again.

" Wait!" The girl called after me. I turned around.

" You wanna, do you wanna sit here and study with us? Well, we call it study time mostly it's just goofing off." She laughed and made a move with her hand to a table nearby where a few people were watching us.

"Yeah eh, I don't wanna interrupt anything."

" You're not. She said, with a heavy accent on the last word. Definitely not, she added. I smiled at her.

" Okay then. I'm Sam by the way."

" Jessica." We shook hands. At that time, my childhood just disappeared and I couldn't care less about it. I was determined to protect Jessica from that world as it was no longer a conern of mine.

That had been Sam's first meeting with Jessica. As they got to know each other she had told him her version.

Jessica POV

I woke up with a yawn to the radio. I quickly turned it off. Music at 7 wasn't my thing. I quickly got down for some breakfast before choosing my outfit for the day. After 3 different outfits I finally chose a pair of jeans and a wine-red shirt. I put on some makeup and hurried to class. I wasn't going to be late but I preferred to be there early.

15 minutes later I was sitting at one of the tables with my friends, talking. The lesson had been rescheduled by 45 minutes. Luckily, none of us had no other class until late afternoon and the classroom wasn't used that much. So we spent our time talking. Mostly about guys.

"Hey, have you noticed that really tall guy?" Emma said. She had brown dark hair and was really pale. She and I had gotten quite close the last year and I now counted her as one of my best friends.

"Which tall guy? There's quite many." Anna teased.

"But this guy is really tall. Like 6 ft or something. Brown hair, green eyes."

"Oh yeah, that guy. Yeah he's hard to miss. But at the same time he kinda goes unnoticeable, he's so quiet."

"I don't think I've met him." I said.

"Really? he's in Mr. Verbinski's class, it'd be weird if you hadn't" Gabriella said.

Just then a noise made me turn around. There was guy behind me, trying to open the door to the classroom. I took a closer look at him. He was tall, really tall, and had brown hair. I looked at my friends who all nodded. This was the" really tall guy".

I quickly made up my mind.

"Excuse me." He turned around and looked at me. His whole body was stiff and his eyes was constantly moving around, like he was being afraid that something was around us. After a second he seemed to recognize me and his eyes got a little more relaxed.

" is running late, the lesson doesn't start for another 45 minutes. He looked even more relaxed now but at the same time disappointed.

"Okay, thanks." He walked away. My friends motioned for me to go after him.

"Wait!" He turned around again.

"You wanna, do you wanna sit here and study with us? Well, we call it study time mostly it's just goofing of." I laughed.

"Yeah eh, I don't wanna interrupt anything." He was incredibly shy. I was not about to let this guy walk away. He seemed nice and he seemed quite alone.

"You're not. I said and hoped that it got through to him that I wouldn't take no for an answer. Definitely not! I added. He smiled at me. He was quite goodlooking.

"Okay then. I'm Sam by the way".

"Jessica." We shook hands, I met his eyes and at that moment I didn't care that I should study or that my friends were watching. I had to get to know thing I was single.

SAM POV

I quickly rose from the sofa so I wouldn't fall asleep. I had forgotten how tiring the hunting life could be. "This is no use, if I fall asleep on the couch I'm not gonna get that much sleep. It's better to just go to bed instead."

I hurried to the bedroom and just fell down on the bed. I was halfasleep when I feltsomething on my face. I didn't care at first but when it didn't stop I opened my eyes. What I saw made me scream. It was Jessica.

1 year later

"NO!" "JESS!" "JESS!"

I woke up with a gasp, rose from my bed and began to walk around in the room. Thank god it was just a nightmare.

"Are you okay Sammy?" A newly awakened Dean. I sat down on my bed again.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. What time is it?" Dean checked his watch.

"Almost 4, why don't you get some more sleep?"

No reply. Sam had already done exactly that.

6 hours later. Sam POV

I was drinking some coffee, preparing to leave when Dean entered.

"Hey, would you mind telling me what on earth you were dreaming last night?"

"Huh?"

"Your nightmares? You've been screaming Jessica for 1 week now."

"Oh, yeah, that. I had completely forgotten about that. Nuh, it's nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing."

"But it was, okay?" I was not in the mood to talk about it.

"Fine, fine. You ready to leave?"

"Sure." We picked up our stuff and left the motel.

" Can I drive?" I asked as we got closer to the Impala.

"Hardly. You know what I say, the driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole. And since you're listening to weird music, there's no way I'm letting you drive my baby. Don't wanna listen to your country crap."

"It's just a car, Dean."

"Hey, be nice! Don't listen to him, baby." I just rolled my eyes.

"Where we're off to anyway?"

"Anywhere but here. Stick painted as silver and you didn't recognize it?"

"I said sorry, didn't I?" I muttered.

The rest of the trip was spent in silence.

Dean POV

Next night I woke up to the sound of Sam muttering in his sleep. 2 seconds later he screamed. Jessicas name. I knew what would come. And I was correct, Sam turned to me, looked at me and asked:

"Jess... Jessica. Is she?" I sighed.

"Jessica is dead Sam." I confirmed.

"Oh, okay."

5 minutes later Sam was asleep. Well, he pretended to be but I could hear he was still awake.

6 nights later

3d POV

"NO!" "JESS!" "JESS!"

"Sam! Wake up!"

"Dude, listen 6 nights in a row you've been having nightmares. You wanna talk about it?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine." Sam answered and rose from the bed.

"I'm going for a walk see ya later."

With a bam the door closed, leaving Dean alone.

3 weeks later.

"NO!" "JESS!" "JESS!"

"For the love of. SAM, WAKE UP!"

Sam quickly woke up, rose from his bed and motioned for the door. This time however, Dean had had it. He quickly shut the door and leaned against it. He shook his head.

"Nuh uh. This time you're not getting away."

"What?"

"4 weeks. 4 weeks, Sam! For 4 weeks I've been hearing you scream and it's starting to affect our cases."

"Look I'm sorry about that shapeshifter, I honestly thought it was iron."

"You thought a long stick that was spraypainted in silver was iron?" Dean said in disbelief. Sam nodded.

"And the Rakshasa?"

"What about it?"

"YOU THREW SALT AT IT!"

"Yeah so? I thought it was a ghost." Dean looked doubtful.

"Come on man, stop making excuses. You're not okay and we both know it. I've called Bobby. He's on his way here. It's 9 pm and we are not going anywhere until this is solved. I don't care if this takes weeks. We're staying."

"Why?"

"CAUSE I SAID SO!"

"I'm fine Dean. I really am."

"Yeah, and I'm Barbara Streisand." Bobby's voice said from outside the door. Now why don't you numbnuts open the bloody door?"

Dean hurried towards the door and opened.

"Thanks for coming."

"Yeah, no problem." Bobby said before turning to Sam.

"How ya feeling kid?"

"I'm fine."

"Like I haven't heard that before." Dean muttered.

"Yes, and it's true! Look Dean, I'm fine! Can't you just listen!"

"You've been yelling for weeks now!"

"Yeah, whatever, I need some air." Sam slammed the door behind him.

Dean and Bobby looked at eachother.

"How long has he been like this?"

"For weeks. It started with a case that went bad. We were in Oklahoma, 3 guys where found murdered in their beds and their homes went up in flames.

Bobby let out a low whistle.

"Old yellow-eye?"

"That's what we thought first as well but nope. No sulfur, noone up in the roof."

"So what was it then? Poltergeist?"

"Just a simple ghost. Turned out that 6 months ago a woman came home and discovered her husband had found another and wanted a divorce. That caused an argument which ended with the woman getting burned alive. It was an accident but still, she haunted men who had affairs and then burned up their house by cracking the electricity."

"So that's the reason for all the burned up houses around here."

"Yeah, it took a while before we could stop her."

"I can understand that's hard on you." Dean shook his head.

"Not at first. When we figured it out,we salted and burned the bones. Yeah, the spirit got pissed but that's only what you expect."

"So what happened?"

"I don't know. About 4 weeks ago Sam started to scream." Dean made an imitation of Sam.

"Jess. Jess, no Jess". He chuckled. "Aouch!" What was that for?" Bobby had slapped him in the back of his head.

"You idjit! You're supposed to look after him, not laugh about it."

"Anyhow, it has started to affect our cases. 3 weeks ago we were hunting a shapeshifter and Sam picked up a stick spraypainted with silver and tried to kill it."

"He mistook a stick? for SILVER?" Bobby said sceptically.

"He did."

"Stupid ass!"

"It get worse." We were hunting a Rakshasa, you know, dressed out, beng invited and then eats the parents and all that. We were just about to kill it with a brass knife when Sam threw salt at it."

"He didn't."

" Oh, but he did. You get why I'm concerned? And he refuses to talk about it."

"Well the ghost and rakshasa aside, that no talking thing aint strange, you and the old man aren't exactly the most talkative folks around. Maybe you're finally rubbing off on him. Besides, you wanna listen to him talking about how happy he was before you reunited? "

" Well, the way he's now can't contiunue, that's for sure. I need to sleep!"

Bobby chuckled.

"I thought I never would hear you say that, you're getting old Dean."

"Haha yeah, real fun. So how can we fix the Sam thing?"

"The SAM thing?" Sam said from the door. He had, without his brother and Bobby hearing him, entered the room. "There's nothing to fix. I'm fine, he continued.

"It's been over a year. I've been hearing you scream and I can't take it anymore! If screaming every night is being fine then I'll kiss Yellow-eye."

"Am I invited to the wedding?"

"I'm serious!"

"Look Dean, it's my fault! I'm the one to blame for her death!"

Bobby looked concerned at Sam.

"It's not your fault Sam."

"If I hadn't gone with Dean..."

"STOP IT Sammy" Dean interrupted.

"Why? WHY SHOULD I? It's MY fault! It's my fault her family doesn't have a daughter! They don't even know the real reason to why their son in law is gone. And it's my fault Jessica is dead!

"Wait wait wait. SON IN LAW?" Dean interrupted. "Dude, you were gonna marry her?" Once again, Bobby hit him in the head. Dean turned to him.

"Stop doing that!"

"Yes, okay. We were planning to get married."

"Yikes. Haven't I taught you anything? Don't get married." Bobby gave Dean a look that clearly said "shut up you idjit you're not helping."

"You gotta cut yourself some slack Sam. Don't be so hard on yourself." Bobby told him.

"Don't be, don't be so hard on yourself? You know Jessica ALWAYS wanted to meet Dean and dad but I refused to. ALL I did was saying they are a part of my past! Then I hear one thing from Dean, go on a hunt and when I get back she's up in the ceiling! SO YEAH, IT IS MY FAULT!

Sam drew a dreep breath. "Look, can we just not talk about this? I'm tired as hell and I'm just gonna sleep." With that he went to sleep. Dean and Bobby sat there for 2 hours, mostly just quiet. Now and again, Dean would make some comment about a case or Bobby asking a question but then the room was once again filled with silence.

"You got a room or something?" Dean finally asked. Bobby shook his head.

"Nah, I didn't think it would be this bad."

"Just wait til the dreams come. In that exact minute Sam started turning in his bed and then the inevitable came.

"NO!" "JESS!" "JESS!""

"Jesus! Bobby rose from his seat while Dean sat still, being used to the process by now.

Within 5 minutes Sam was fully awake sitting by the table just staring exactly like Bobby and Dean had done.

"It was... different this time. The dream, it was different", he started.

SAM POV DREAM SEQUENCE

I was at a hotelroom, waiting for Dean to show up. I had offered to go get groceries but he had refused saying "I always forgot the pie." I rolled my eyes at him and sat down by the computer to do some research.

"Careful, your wrinkle is getting stuck again."

I jumped at that voice and looked around. She stood right there, between Deans bed and the tv. With long blonde hair and blue eyes. My Jessica.

"Jessica."

"Sam." She reached out her hand which was an inside joke between us. I shook it and stared at her.

"What, what are you doing here?"

"Perhaps, I'm not here."

" But I want you to be." She looked at me.

"Jessica, I need you to be okay." She didn't answer, instead she just continued to look at me.

"Jessica, I need you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"She looked at me, gave me a caress and walked out the door." Sam finished. Dean and Bobby stared at him.

"That is a weird dream." Bobby commented.

"Nah, not that weird. I always knew you were a softie, Sam. Gave you a caress" Dean chuckled.

"Real mature Dean. Thank you, I'm going to bed." Without one word Sam got quiet. Bobby stared at Dean.

"Idjit."

SAM POV 30 minutes later.

I tried to go back to sleep but that was impossible. When 30 minutes had passed I realized it was no use, I dressed myself and without a sound I left the building. Something that had, these last couple of weeks become one of my best skills. You really needed that to be able to live with Dean. He was a really good person but to live with him wasn't always easy. To not walk alone outside was one of the main silent rules. You didn't walk alone. Because him and I both knew what was out there. But, these last few weeks I had desperately been craving some solo time.

I continued to walk around.

"Sam." A voice interrupted but I didnt care. It was just my imagination. "Good one, Sam. You start hearing voices." I thought to myself.

"SAM". I looked up. That voice... I couldn't hear it again. Yet, there she was. Again. Jessica.

"Jessica, why, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk to you so be quiet and listen. Sam, you need to stop."

"Stop?"

"Stop blaming yourself."

"That's what I've heard."

"So why can't you?"

"This is... this is just my imagination. You can't be here, you're dead."

"That doesn't matter. I needed to see you."

"I love you. I will never forgive myself."

" You have to. It wasn't your fault. Listen to me Sam. You couldn't have done anything different. Hunting, it's in your blood. You need to do this. You would never have been happy with the suburb life. You need to move on, you need to stop think that my death was your fault. It wasn't."

I sat down at a park bench and looked down on my knees.

"I belong with you."

"Not anymore." Jessica turned my head and made me look at her. She was still so beautiful.

"Sam, listen to me. My life is over, your life isn't. I wish it wasn't but it is. I know you blame yourself and Dean for my death but stop doing that."

"Jess, I miss you. I miss you so much."

"I miss you too Sam."

"I'm so..."

"Sorry?" Jessica asked. "So am I. I'm sad I didn't got the life with you that we wanted but I'm glad for the time we got together. 2 years. The best time in my life. Sam, my time here is coming to an end. Please just know that I love you." Suddenly I felt Jessicas lips. The kiss was really sweet but somehow it was also a goodbye.

"I love you."

"I love you too Sam. And remember, you and Dean are not responsible for my death."

"Well then... who is?" I asked. Jessica gave me a smile and disappeared.

Back at the hotel room Dean was furious. When Sam showed up though, all thoughts of yelling at him got flushed away in 2 seconds. Tuened out that, 2 hours had passed in which Bobby had gotten tired of Dean ranting how he was gonna kill Sam and, with a "Tell your brother to call me and you behave now" as a goodbye had taken off. Sam went to bed and fell asleep. Dean did the same. At 5 am however, Dean was once again, woken up by Sam turning in his bed. 2 seconds later Sam screamed the loudest he had ever heard, woke up and finally turned to Dean.

"I can't take this anymore." He said and, finally, started to cry.

After what seemed like an eternity of crying Sam and Dean stayed up all day, talking. About Dad, Jessica, Mum and different cases. They stayed for a few days until Dean showed up with a newspaper in his hand.

"Dude, we gotta drive to Baltimore. There's a case there. End of vaccation."

Without one word the brothers packed up their stuff and went away to Baltimore.