Title: When The Moon saw his Departure
Summary: When the moon was washed away by the crying sky, the rabbit decided not to look at it anymore, so that he won't be hurt to see it going away. But, as the moon saw the rabbit go away, she felt like the little brightness that she had is slowly fading away.
Pairing: Lavi x Lenalee
Warning: First time in making a LaviLena fic. Quite angsty. Lenalee's POV
Disclaimer: I do not own D. Grayman or any of its characters. If I do, I'll have LaviLena in the manga. LOL. XD Plus, the Moon and Rabbit thing… it's not mine. I saw it at the LaviLena ship manifesto. Credits go to them~
That night, the moon was shining.
"Lenalee…"
I didn't stop from walking forward. I didn't look back to him. I tried not to listen to his words, but, whatever I did, his voice kept on reaching my unwilling ears. It was full of bitterness… and pain.
His boots stopped clicking on the ground, a sign that he had already stopped from walking towards me.
"I'm leaving." He firmly said. His tone was serious, and I couldn't face him even if I wanted to say something. I still didn't look back.
"I'm… sorry…"
Did he really need to apologize?
I knew that he moved forward when I heard his boots clicking against the ground again. "I'm sorry, but… I'm not your—" he paused.
Tears started to dwell in my eyes, and sadness swallowed my heart. What was he trying to say?
"I'm not your comrade."
After he stated those words, I turned to him, but I didn't look at his face. Head hung low, I murmured, "I don't want to…"
I stopped when I saw his hands clench. Was he going to take back his words? Or, was he up to say something even worse?
He breathed. "I'm not also your friend." he advanced towards me. "Lena-"
I did not know why I had to slap him. All I thought about the moment was to make him stop from talking, but my hand involuntarily managed to do so.
"I don't want to hear that anymore!"
Withheld tears trickled across my reddening cheeks. I heaved, and there I realized that I was already sobbing.
Lavi always makes me cry.
"How can you even say that after everything that we've been through? We're not just Exorcists, the chosen people of God. We are friends, too, Lavi! How can you…"
The shining moon was washed away by the crying sky.
I blurrily saw his hand reaching out to me, and I stepped back.
"How can you say that to me? We're not just your comrades, Lavi. We are your family!"
And I suddenly paused. Were we really his family?
His voice was stained with guilt. "Lenalee," he called out once more.
I bit my lower lip. "S-so, that's why…" I said with a very croaky voice. "I'm sorry… I forgot…"
Two gentle arms enveloped my cold, frail body. I didn't have the power to make any complaints or protests. All that I was able to manage was to murmur against his chest, as tears continued to escape from my unblinking eyes. I didn't look up to his face. My arms didn't seem to move—they stayed at my sides.
No. I was able to move one.
I clenched my right hand, and I pounded the symbol of the Black Order on his chest with all of the strength that I can muster.
"I'm sorry, Lavi…" I sobbed. "I forgot that… I forgot that you're a Bookman." Just saying that word made me feel in vain. "We're not supposed to become your friends, or even your family, right?" and I dug my face against the coat that he wasn't supposed to wear.
I could feel his arms tighten its embrace on me. His head rested on my shoulder, and one of his hands cupped my nape.
I didn't want to hear his voice, but I still did.
"Lenalee…" he said with pain.
I gasped. My eyes shot open, and my heart was beating fast.
No, don't tell me—
He took a deep breath, and he whispered beside my ears. "Lenalee," he said. "The very time I turn back and step away, please consider us, Bookmen, dead…" and he paused to embrace me tighter. "Please consider me dead."
I didn't know what to do, but I know what to say.
It was a very painful "No".
Lavi sighed.
"Lenalee… I don't want to know more about the Black Order. This is enough, Lenalee. I don't want to put you guys in any paragraph that I have to write. I want everyone's secrets to stay as what they are, and I don't want to cause anything worse. So…"
My clenched hand loosened.
"Don't tell me…" I weakly murmured.
Lavi's hand gripped my clothes; the other ran through the scalp near my nape.
I cried as I pulled myself away from him. I didn't even look at his face, up to the moment.
"Yes, this will be the last. This should be." He said, and it made me look at him. The way he said those words was unexpectedly normal. His playful tone, his smiling face, and his usual stance—they were present whilst he told me that.
Fear.
Anguish.
Emptiness.
They hunted me the very moment he officially announced that he would leave after he embraced me. A part of my world… was about to crumble to pieces.
He moved forward, and he joked. "C'mon, Lenalee! You shouldn't be thinking of sad things at times like this! Think of happy things! Happy things, that is!"
I gripped the hem of my skirt. Right now, what was he thinking?
"Lavi…"
His playful face tried not to become serious. "Hm?"
It was too casual.
That's why I had to punch him right on his face. "You idiot!"
Lavi held his jaw. "Aw! That hurts, Lena—"
And he stopped talking when I embraced him. "Are you really an idiot? If that's the matter, you shouldn't worry about us."
I know that I was being too selfish to make him stay.
"Take a hold of yourself, Lenalee." And he held my hand.
Tears started to fall down. He's making me remember every moment of him—the times where he made me laugh, and then cry, and comfortable with different reasons. And now, I'm crying… because he's leaving.
"Please don't go…" I cried on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he apologized once more. "But I really can't."
I shivered as I called out his name. "Lavi!"
Or, was it really his name?
"I told you—this will be and this should be the last, right?" he said with a smile.
"But—"
I was silenced when he suddenly kissed me, and everything turned hazy.
"Sayonara, Lenalee."
And I drifted to an unwanted slumber.
When I woke up after that night, it wasn't raining. The last place I could remember was outside the Black Order, and it was raining. I suddenly felt sick. I touched my forehead, and I knew that I had a fever. That's why, I stood up to go outside my room, only to find a black coat lying on my feet.
I remembered Lavi.
Back at that time, when my eyes were about to close, other than saying goodbye, he said something else. Was that his name?
It couldn't be.
Maybe it was something else.
Though, that 'something else' was now a part of my world that crumbled to pieces.
It seemed to be a normal day for the others, but for me, it wasn't.
"…and the rabbit stopped watching over the moon…"
A/N: Whoa! This is the very first time! Uwaa. Guys, please spare my life. This is the first time that I made a LaviLena fic. Well, is this fic okay? Tell me your thoughts~ ^_^
Umm, should I make a sequel? –shot- XD I got inspired by a lot of LaviLena moments, and it made me do this. Actually, I made this just a few hours ago. It was when I was too lazy to get up, that made me imagine some kind of LaviLena things. XD The LaviLena ship manifesto almost made me a total DGM convert. XD Credits to copper_sun-san from the ship manifesto. I'm sorry if I didn't get permission. ;__; But I'm giving the credits about the Rabbit and his Moon to you. =)
Thanks for reading! ^_^
Okay, ja~
rookie-chan