This is just a song-fic I found last night. I had forgotten I wrote it, some time ago actually. I believe I wrote this before the story I'm working on now, An Ally in the Dark, actually. I don't remember, but I figured I'd post it. Hopefully, for those of you who are alerted when I post something and are waiting for me to finish the next chapter in An Ally in the Dark will find this sort of satisfying as a filler for the wait. It has nothing to do with An Ally in the Dark, seeing as it was more than likely written before I came up with the idea of An Ally in the Dark.
Warnings: language maybe?...implied slash...
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the HP characters...They all belong to JK Rowling! The song also does not belong to me. It belongs to Evanescence.
Now...on with the show...Weight of the World...
Feels like the weight of the world
Like God in heaven gave me a turn
Don't cling to me, I swear can't I fix you
Still in the dark, can you fix me?
Harry slumped down against the tree. He was tired and sick of this. He'd been running for nearly five hours. He couldn't talk anymore, not without losing his temper. Dumbledore was dead, people were looking for him, in fact, people accused him of killing Dumbledore. That didn't really bother Harry though, what bothered him was that even though people blamed him for Dumbledore's death, they still expected him to defeat Voldemort. Of course, Harry would kill Voldemort whether people expected him to or not. The only problem Harry had with defeating Voldemort is, Dumbledore left Harry almost completely clueless. Harry was seemingly freefalling through life, learning what he needed on the way, not knowing what might lay ahead of him. He felt as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.
Freefall, freefall, all through life
Harry wondered how they would take it, Draco, Ron, and Hermione, Remus and the other members of the Order. Harry didn't want to see anyone else die because of him. He lost his parents because they wanted to protect him. He'd watched Sirius die because he was being foolish. He watched Cedric die because Cedric was the spare, because all Voldemort wanted was Harry. He watched Dumbledore die, because he was helping Harry. Moody died, because he went along with a plan that could've killed all of those involved.
He loved them all, and he hoped they understood why he had to leave. He hoped they wouldn't come looking for him. They told him countless times that they'd do anything to help him, that they loved him and would be there for him, and he hoped they understood that if they didn't look for him, didn't come after him, they'd be proving it to him.
Besides, he knew that he scared them. They all waited for him to snap, to lose control. They all thought that Harry was way too calm; they had expected Harry to be hysterical after Dumbledore's death. What they didn't realize was, Harry had changed. He realized it, though, and he knew that he couldn't let himself be held down by the way he once was.
If you love me, then let go of me
I won't be held down by who I used to be
He's nothing to me
Just as Harry began jogging through the trees, he heard him. Draco had come looking for him. His heart fell, Draco was the last person he wanted to be looking for him. Harry knew that he couldn't turn his back on Draco; he cared for the blond Slytherin too much. He stopped, standing next to a twisted and gnarled pine. He smiled to himself as Draco came closer. How ironic it was that he had come to love his school rival. As he thought of his days at Hogwarts, he wanted to scream. He wanted to scream at the injustices of his life, scream at himself for all his mistakes. He wanted to scream, just like he used to when everything overwhelmed him. Though he made sure no one heard him, knowing that they'd assume they knew what was wrong and try to fix it. He remember all of those who had been on his side before Voldemort came back, all of those who had hated him and called him a liar after Voldemort came back. Harry remembered all those who told him they believed in him, and then as soon as his back was turned, would talk about how he was going to die and that they'd all be doomed.
Feels like the weight of the world
Like all my screaming has gone unheard
And oh, I know you don't believe in me
Safe in the dark, how can you see?
He laughed bitterly at his memories of peoples' lies and fake belief. At Harry's bitter laugh, Draco appeared opposite him. Draco was holding the note Harry had left him, tears streaming down his pale face. Suddenly, Draco launched himself into Harry's arms. He clutched Harry to him tightly, telling him that Harry didn't have to do whatever it was alone. Harry smiled sadly at him and allowed him to say what he needed. Again, Harry felt as if all he was truly doing was freefalling through his life, through his mission and destiny to kill Voldemort.
Freefall, freefall, all through life
Harry lifted Draco's face to his, his emerald eyes meeting Draco's silver ones. He told Draco that if he loved him, then he'd let him go. He told Draco that he'd changed that night on the tower, that he couldn't be held back right now. He promised Draco that he would come back, that he'd return when Voldemort was dead.
If you love me, then let go of me
I won't be held down by who I used to be
Draco nodded, knowing that Harry was right and that he would be back. He let go of Harry and watched him as he disappeared into the mist that had started to form with the rising moon. Draco knew, he knew everything, he knew that Harry had changed. And Draco knew that Harry would come back, because, though he had changed, he was still the same in ways only Draco knew.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading it. I hoped you liked it! For those of you who are waiting on An Ally in the Dark, I appologize for the long wait. I'm almost finished with the next chapter, promise. Reviews are welcome! Thanks again for reading it!