A/N: So it's been a while since I've written anything. Don't know why, just haven't felt the inspiration. This story actually started out as something I was writing for myself to help people understand how I feel about certain things and just progressed from there. Hope you like it if you read it.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight and its characters. However, I do own the notebook in which this story was written.

This story is rated M just in case. I don't have the whole story written out, so I'm just being safe.

If You Love Me Let Me Go

Chapter 1

Rule 1) Don't touch my things. I may be a slob, but I have my own version of organization. I know when my things have been touched.

Rule 2) Don't treat me like I'm stupid. I'm not. End of discussion.

Rule 3) Don't act like you know me. I'm far more complex than you think. Everything I do or have done has a story behind it.

Rule 4) Don't pry. If I want you to know I'll tell you.

Rule 5) I know what's best for me. You may think you know, but you don't.

Rule 6) Overbearing people piss me off. I've had enough people try to tell me what to do. I'm living my own life; I want to make my own mistakes.

I looked my list over making sure I had everything I wanted to say. My brows furrowed in concentration and I tapped my pen impatiently against the desk. Thinking of something, I grabbed the paper and wrote:

Rule 7) I can update and revise this list as needed.

Finishing that, I set my pen down and spoke quietly. "Edward, get your ass up here, now." Before I had finished, he appeared by my side. "Read this, memorize it, and obey."

He scanned it quickly. "Love, are you sure?"

I glared at him. "Yes I'm sure. I'm an adult; the threats against me are gone. I want to experience life the way I should have a long time ago." I knew I was acting more like a spoiled teenager than the adult I was, but I was tired of the Cullens and their over protectiveness. I really did want to experience what I had missed while running from James and then Victoria.

Edward said nothing. Not that I had expected him to. We weren't working out, hadn't been for a few months. We were still technically engaged, but the wedding had been postponed and no date had been set. I no longer desired to become a vampire so soon. Honestly, the thought of being with Edward for eternity no longer appealed to me so much. He annoyed me with his tendency for being a control freak. I know he knew my change of heart towards being changed since Alice no longer saw me changing, but I wasn't sure what else she had seen. She had been unusually silent and was probably pouting because her dream wedding for me had been cancelled. Oh well. When would she realize that my wedding should be how I want, not how she imagined that I would want it.

Edward had been strangely supportive of my decision to call off the wedding. He didn't even argue when I told him that I didn't want to set another date. It kind of hurt that he wasn't fighting for it, wasn't trying to persuade me, at the very least, to set another date in the distant future. On the other hand, I was glad he wasn't pressuring me to make the decision he thought was best. Maybe he was finally realizing that I was my own person and could make my own choices.

"Penny for your thoughts." Edward's voice broke through my train of thoughts, making me jump. "Sorry," He chuckled softly. "didn't mean to scare you."

I sighed and stretched. "It's alright. I was just thinking."

"Well, I guessed that." He laughed. "What about?"

"Life, me, you, just things. Does it bother you that you can't hear my thoughts?" I watched him tense. "No, wait; it was a welcome reprieve when we first met."

Edward's face smoothed out. My attempt to start a fight had been successful.

"Is it now a crime to inquire as to what you were thinking? I am you fiancé for God's sake. Yes it bothers me that I can't hear you like I can everyone else, but what bothers me even more is that I can't ask what's on your mind without you trying to pick a fight." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I need to hunt. It's obviously that time of the month for you."

My eyes narrowed. He did not just bring that up. "Yes, please go. I think that would be best right now." I got up and put on my jacket. "I'm going to La Push. If you need me text me." Edward nodded and leapt out of my window. I quickly walked down to my truck, sighing in relief as it started. At least Edward hadn't disabled it.

I floored it all the way to Jake's house. As I got there he ran outside.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you are going to kill that truck one day." He said as I turned the key to off, laughing when it backfired.

"That's ok, my super awesome mechanic who also happens to be my best friend will fix it for me."

Jake grinned and helped me down, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm not a miracle worker, Bells. One day that truck will just be a glorified lawn ornament." He set me down. "So what brings you here?"

"The usual. Edward being a total prick." I followed Jake into the garage. "I mean I did try to pick a fight, but he had to go and bring my hormones into it."

Jake sat down, nodding. "So, quick question."

"Go for it."

"Why are you still with him? You pick fights and refuse to marry him. What's the point?"

I stopped. Why was I with Edward? I loved him, yeah, but I didn't know if I wanted to be with him forever anymore. I didn't even know if I wanted to be with him at all. "It's what I know. I've never dated anyone else."

Jake sat there for a minute, not saying anything. He finally looked at me. "Why don't you just take a break? Date other guys. That way you know what you want."

I opened my mouth to protest, but closed it before I could say anything. "Jake, you are a genius." I hugged him. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Sometimes, you just need a second opinion, Bells."

I smiled and grabbed my phone from my pocket. Opening it, I groaned. Edward had picked that moment to call. I looked at Jake and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Love. I wanted to apologize for the idiotic words that came out of my mouth earlier. Rose and Esme both explained how bad it is to say that."

It's ok." I sighed. "Edward, I think we need to take a break." I paused, waiting for his answer.

"May I inquire as to why?" He finally responded.

"Edward, I no longer know what I want. I've never even been on a date with another guy. How can I know exactly what I want without scoping out the competition?"

He sighed. "I see your point. If this is what you want then I won't object."

"It is."

"Ok then. Bella, I love you."

"Love you, too, Edward. I'll talk to you later."

I hung up and sat next to Jacob. "Why wasn't that as difficult as I had imagined?"

He draped an arm over my shoulders. "You know it was the right thing to do."

A/N: Please read and review. Good or bad, I want to hear it all.