Disclaimer: Squaresoft/Square Enix owns all the Final Fantasy characters/references/places etc.
Author's Notes:
I've been working on and off on some lyrics for Esthar's popular president's theme song... Almost made it in time for his birthday, oh well!
This might get a bit tricky to nail the timing, so I've added some times in brackets (based on the OST version of The Man with the Machine Gun - 2:50 long on youtube). And just because they seem inseparable, Kiros and Ward get lines as well.
The tilde (~) indicates holding a note out longer to match the song (they're not always in the exact spot, but I found putting a tilde in the middle of a word can muddle things too much).
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( 0.11 Kiros ) Now's~ your chance~, to go~ and impress~,
( 0.17 Ward ) Just wave to her~
( 0.24 Laguna ) Oh~ my gosh~, I think~, I have~:
( 0.30 Laguna ) the very worst case of a leg cramp in all of history!
( 0.38 Kiros ) Well~, my friend~, I've got to say: that's so manly.
( 0.51 Ward ) Now~
( 0.54 Ward ) you're demoted~,
( 0.58 Ward ) to~
( 1.01 Ward ) the rank of...
( 1.05 Kiros ) A negative score of three on your own manliness scale...
( 1.12 Laguna ) Hey, say whatcha want, but we talked so I know I didn't fail!
( 1.22 Laguna ) Let's go guys, I've got us a shortcut.
( 1.24 Laguna ) What good luck, a key in my pocket!
( 1.26 Laguna ) Oh good Hyne, I think that I've lost it..!
( 1.27 Laguna ) Genius thought: trip into a trap pit.
( 1.30 Laguna ) Sneaky~ Esthar~ soldiers~; they~
( 1.36 Laguna ) think they're so flashy.
( 1.43 Laguna ) What~ d'you think~ are the chances~ of
( 1.49 Laguna ) falling off a cliff and into the very deep, blue sea..?
( 1.56 Laguna ) Well~, somehow~, I did...
( 2.02 Laguna ) but y'know~ I survived it.
( 2.10 Ward ) But~
( 2.13 Ward ) Laguna...
( 2.17 Kiros ) You~
( 2.20 Kiros ) are a moron...
( 2.23 Laguna ) Well, hey guys I didn't force you to come all of this way!
( 2.30 Laguna ) And you know what? I think that's what each of our fearies would say...