This could maybe hold potential for cute…maybe. There are even one or two fluff moments (or something like them) that step way outside of my comfort zone.
The reaction to this will determine whether or not I write something like this again.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
She supposed that it shouldn't have been this hard, but just because her head realized this didn't mean her heart chose to listen. Instead, Calleigh's heart decided to continue the in the same saddening beat, the same one it had been repeating since four days ago when Eric had to be called away due to work.
Pensacola, when she thought about the big picture of the world, wasn't that far away from Miami; at least it was the same state. Horatio and Eric had went to supervise a case that had to be handed over to the jurisdiction located on Florida's Panhandle and Calleigh may have gone as well, if this had been years ago when circumstances were different. But many things had changed since the last time they had to be called out for Miami for a case, the main point being their priorities. Had Calleigh and Eric held the same responsibilities from years ago as they did now, maybe they wouldn't have minded as much being in another county for days on end; but, like she said, priorities had changed and she couldn't be at the states beckon call twenty-four seven anymore. The thing was, Calleigh didn't mind, neither did her husband. Many things may have changed, but they wouldn't trade that change for anything in the world. What sane parent wouldn't feel the same way?
Sadly, it was the same change that made it so hard for Eric to be away so long. Calleigh could handle playing mom and dad for a week, of course, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was how still and so desolate the house seemed to be without him. There was a certain glow lost when he wasn't there, almost as though the sun had been partially blocked when he left and only a few beams of light were able to shine through.
Calleigh had become so intoxicated by how things were when Eric was here that it hurt her to think about how everything was different and how he was missing so much. The passed few days hadn't held any spectacular events, no one had spoken their first words, no one learned how to ride a bike, or anything of that nature, but just the fact he wasn't here to share regular experiences was enough to make her heart bleed. They had learned through one too many near death experiences that everyday was something they needed to appreciate and not just shrug off.
This life lesson only reminded Calleigh of how much time they were missing out on as a family, what he was missing out on as a father, and what the two of them were missing out on as husband and wife.
Calleigh missed how the cries from the nursery, in which two-month-old Jackson would resonate from down the hall. Pulling both of them into consciousness and Eric would pull her into his chest. He would put his lips to her ear, whispering "I'll get him" before kissing her lightly on the cheek and getting up. Sometimes, Calleigh would give Eric a mock glare and told him to stay put, insisting that it had to be her turn at some point.
She missed how he was the only one who could make Carla, their five-year-old, laugh when she was sick, like she had been the last few days. Two days ago Carla's temperature shot up to one-hundred- and-one point three, accompanied by stomach pain and vomiting. Apparently, she had been in the percentage that the flu vaccine they had made her get earlier that year didn't protect. Calleigh found it typical that Carla would get the flu the same time Eric was hundreds miles away. Calleigh had tried, countless times, to mimic what Eric said or did in attempts to make her smile. She tried singing the same songs he sung to her, reading the same story (funny voices included) and telling the same jokes. Calleigh would earn a chuckle or two, but nowhere near the smiles that would spread across her face when Eric was there. There must have been something in the Y chromosome that carried the gene of being able to make a child miraculously feel better to some extent.
Calleigh missed it when the day had been long, hard, and was taking its toll on her mind, body and sanity. Eric would come from behind her, gently wrapping his arms around her middle and letting her lean against him. She would allow herself to relax within his warm arms as his lips gently kissed the vein in her neck, helping her carry the burden of her day in his own affectionate way. Just by leaning into him Calleigh would feel as though a huge weight had been uplifted from her. Suddenly, everything that had once been negative had turned positive.
The worst part of him being gone, however, was probably the nights. Calleigh missed falling asleep in his arms, Carla missed Eric tucking her in at night, and even little Jackson, Calleigh was sure, missed hearing his fathers voice before sleeping only to wake up a few hours later. They missed Eric whispering that he loved them and they missed telling him the same before they retired for the night. Sure, they could say the same phrase over the phone until they thought the message got across, but it wasn't the same looking into someone's eyes and telling them so.
Calleigh awoke in the middle of the night; her dreams weren't enough to influence her to stay asleep. She kept her eyes closed as she blindly reached for her cell phone on her bedside table. Her fingers smoothed over the glass surface of the tabletop, her fingertips lightly touching the baby monitor and a picture frame before the finally identified her cell phone. Only then, when the cell phone was inches from her face, did Calleigh open her eyes, the light from the phone sending a bluish tint around her bed. The screen of her cell phone displayed the time, one-oh-seven in the morning. Calleigh sighed in frustration before placing her phone back on the table and running a pair of stressed out hands through her hair, she had only slept for forty minutes.
Jackson normally started to get fussy around this time of night, Calleigh bargained she wouldn't have to wait much longer before he awoke. That being the case, she willed herself to stay awake if he did wake up; she wasn't surprised the task of staying awake came easily.
The room was so still, save for the ceiling fan rotating above her, Calleigh could hear her own breathing in timing with her heartbeat.
Three more days, three more days, Calleigh kept repeating to herself as she pulled the sheets up over her. Even though she had laid in the sheets for hours, they were still surprisingly cooler than she thought they would have been. Maybe it wasn't the sheets that were cold; it could have been the whole room or probably just her skin. Perhaps the environment wasn't cold; they could have been there usual temperature and Calleigh never realized it because she normally had Eric's body heat to keep her warm in a way the sheets did not.
Three more days, she told herself again, firmly.
Unless the case goes on longer, sneered a voice in her head.
Three more days, she kept telling herself, ignoring the horrid possibility Eric could be gone longer.
She wrapped the sheets tighter around her and turned to face the wall, knowing that if she looked the other way she would subject herself to seeing Eric's empty side of the bed. Instead she was left staring at the digital clock and watching the minutes slowly change, the longer she watched the more she became sure of that a minute wasn't sixty seconds, it was even longer.
Calleigh suspected that watching the minutes pass would have put most people sleep, seeing as it was just about as exciting as watching grass grow, but tiredness just didn't come to her and she was glad. For, like clockwork, Jackson's cry erupted through the speaker of the monitor. Calleigh couldn't help but chuckle as she wracked her mind for the reason they felt possessed to buy a baby monitor when they first found out they were expecting Carla and felt the need to break it out again when they found out Calleigh was pregnant with their son. Both of their children had cries that could peel paint and it be impossible not to hear them if they were states away.
Calleigh pushed herself out of bed, quickly slid on some slippers, before padding down the hall to attend to her son. The nursery door already stood ajar, all Calleigh had to do was squeeze inside and slowly close the door, hoping the baby's crying wouldn't awaken his older sister.
Calleigh flipped the switch for the light to reveal the light blue room and, more importantly, the baby sleeping in the crib against the wall. He was still screaming at the top of his lungs and his face was turning red from using so much effort to make himself heard. Calleigh reached inside the crib to gently pick Jackson up.
"It's okay, little guy," Calleigh whispered to the squirming baby as she cradled him in her arms. She rocked Jackson in a smoothing motion, making his cries slowly subside and blink his eyes open, revealing green irises to her.
Eric always said he saw a great deal of Calleigh in Jackson, she saw pieces but not as much as Eric was seeing. Within Jackson she saw Eric's face, she felt Eric's warmth and even his eyes were shaped like his father's, they would have been identical were they brown. Instead, Jackson inherited Calleigh's eye color and her fair skin.
Calleigh lowered herself into the rocking chair beside the crib, Jackson cuddling into her chest as she did so. She chuckled as his eyes began to close.
"Just getting lonely, weren't you, baby?" Calleigh asked, softly, as she stroked the skin atop his head; they would just have to wait to see if Jackson would inherit her blonde or Eric's dark hair.
Jackson took a hold of his mother's finger in his tiny hand, bringing a small smile to her lips. Never had it once failed to please her just spending the simplest time with her babies and them doing the simplest things never ceased to make her heart melt, not a lot of people were able to do that to Calleigh easily. But they and her husband seemed to be able to effortlessly. Ryan had once, kiddingly, made the comment how Calleigh was getting soft. Five minutes after saying that did Calleigh have to throw a suspect a foot taller than her to the ground, making Ryan eat his words. Calleigh wasn't getting soft, she was just simply a mom and that is bound to change one or one million things, but never how strong of a CSI or a woman she was.
Calleigh gently kissed the back of Jackson's hand as she rocked him. Calleigh started softly singing the lullaby that everyone in the house had become accustomed to hearing and singing. Even Carla, Eric and Calleigh noticed one afternoon, would come into the nursery and sing the sweet song to him.
The tune reached Jackson's ears as his eyes closed completely, his grip on Calleigh's finger loosening; he had fallen asleep. Calleigh knew the night was ticking by and work, in which she needed to get some sleep for, was a mere few hours away, but she couldn't find it within her to stand up and put Jackson back in his crib. Instead she watched his little chest rise and fall with every breath he took while he dreamed. She may have watched him all night, but the door slowly creaked open to reveal her daughter to her.
Most, if not all, of Eric's featured dominated in Carla. She had his eyes, which held the same warmth his did. She had his dark skin, though her complexion was slightly pale do to her bout of the flu. The only physical traits Carla had inherited from Calleigh were her heart-shaped face and the way her dark hair cascaded down her back. But though they didn't appear to be much alike in appearance, anyone could tell by observing Carla's behavior she was just like her mother. Her brain seemed to be wired just like Calleigh's, only in the five-year-old version. Carla had the tendency to be cunning, courageous at times and still have the sunny attitude Calleigh was known for. But Calleigh saw something in Carla she had received from Eric, which she was certain Jackson would have as well once he was old enough to show it, and that was Eric's heart.
"Momma," she whispered, walking towards Calleigh, slightly hunched over, and hugging her stuffed dolphin into her chest as she approached the rocker.
"Honey, what are you doing up?" Calleigh asked, softly.
"I don't feel good," she breathed, her soft voice wavering slightly.
Calleigh had grown accustomed to the odd illness throughout the years, it was just one of those things that was inevitable, but her heartstrings still got pulled every time a trembling voice said that phrase and the look on her face only added palpability to her words.
"Does your stomach still hurt?" Calleigh asked, affectionately.
Carla nodded, her lips forming a small pout. Calleigh had been about to speak when Jackson shifted against her, adjusting his head on the crook of her arm. He was clearly so deep within his slumber that the Apollo could have taken off outside their house and it wouldn't disturb his dreams.
"Let me just put Jackson to bed then we'll take care of you, okay," Calleigh whispered.
Carla nodded, the movement making the dark locks of hair resting on her shoulder fall behind her back.
Calleigh converted her eyes back to her son; his hand still wrapped limply around her finger. Looking at the healthy child, she prayed that he wouldn't too get sick like Carla, though she knew it was a prayer in utter vein. Calleigh was probably a host of the virus from taking care of Carla and, seeing as she couldn't become one hundred percent sterile around her son, that him getting the flu was perhaps unavoidable. Hopefully, if his flu vaccine didn't serve its greater purpose and he ended up catching it, Eric would be home before it struck. She wouldn't be able to care for two sicken children, especially when one hadn't even lived to see one hundred sun rises yet.
Thinking of Eric brought back the familiar ache in her heart, but she shook it off quickly; what choice did she have?
Calleigh smoothly slid her finger out of Jackson's smaller ones, now supporting his small body in both her hands as she slowly pushed herself up from the rocking chair; Carla quickly taking residence in the seat as soon as Calleigh left it. Calleigh made her way towards the crib, seeing Carla in her peripheral vision as she brought her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them, her eyelids drooping slightly. She wasn't rocking the chair, very out of character for her as she had enjoyed the light motion of the rocker since she was Jackson's age, symbolic of just how poorly she was feeling.
Calleigh tenderly kissed Jackson's cheek and whispered a faint "I love you" as she gently laid him on the soft bedding in his crib. He was undisturbed by the transition from his mother's arms to his crib, he still slept peacefully as though he had never woken up in the first place. She took a final moment to soak in the image of her son sleeping, a smile forming on her lips, before turning her attention to Carla.
She was looking at the wooden floor as Calleigh approached her, the closer she got the clearer it became to Calleigh how dark the circles under Carla's eyes were and just how livid she had become. But Carla's gaze left the floor as her mother picked her up under her arms. Carla wrapped her legs around Calleigh's waist as her little arms clung to her, the toy dolphin still dangling from her hand.
Calleigh felt Carla place her forehead against the crook of her neck. Calleigh could feel Carla's body heat through her skin, a more subtle way of checking to see if her temperature was still higher than the favorable degree.
"Let's get you back to bed," Calleigh whispered, shifting Carla's body to one arm as she used the other to turn off the light.
"Okay," Carla mumbled as Calleigh slowly pulled the door closed, a soft thud cutting the nursery off from view.
Calleigh readjusted Carla to carry her with two arms as they made their way to Carla's room, only two doors down from Jackson's.
When inside, Carla unhitched her feet from around Calleigh's waist as Calleigh steadily laid her down in her bed. Calleigh turned on the lamp by Carla's bed, seeing as the only other light was the dull glow from her moon nightlight, before pulling the thin sheet on the bed over Carla's body, at least she could have a little insulation without getting too warm. Calleigh sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard as she looked down at her daughter.
Calleigh reached up to gently stroke back Carla's hair, her forehead still a bit too warm under Calleigh's palm. Bearing this in mind, Calleigh reached over to the bedside table to pick up the infrared ear thermometer.
"Let's just check your temperature really quickly," Calleigh said, softly, as she hit the appropriate button to turn it on.
Carla nodded, her demeanor becoming more and more tired. Calleigh gently placed the probe inside Carla's ear canal and held down the button long enough to get an accurate reading.
"Your fever is going down," Calleigh smiled after removing the thermometer and looking at the small screen, seeing that Carla's temperature had dropped from the one-oh-one it had been this morning to the more preferred reading of ninety-nine point seven.
"I still feel yucky," Carla groaned.
Calleigh smiled down at her daughter, gently smoothing Carla's hair back.
"I know, baby. But you should feel better before Daddy comes home," Calleigh pointed out with a grin, hoping it would be enough to make her feel the smallest bit better.
Carla's sad face turned lifted, dimples showing as she smiled and eyes sparkling at the very idea. She and Calleigh had been counting down the days until Eric would return home, Calleigh could see in Carla's eyes how much she missed her father, Calleigh had seen the look in her own eyes a few times when she was very young. When a child is four or five, she doesn't know that her father is out because he was consuming liters upon liters of alcohol, all she knows is he isn't there and when you think the world of him a small place inside her aches. Only when she's older does the pain go away because she now realizes where he is and that's out drunk. Calleigh thanked God that wasn't the case here and that Carla's missing of Eric as a child would be rare, as Eric never wanted to leave his family for some nonsensical desire to drink or anything of such a manner; his family, to him, was more important.
But it did break Calleigh's heart the day Eric had to leave, not just because she would miss him, but because Carla wouldn't let him go. Jackson had been put in his crib after Eric had said goodbye to him, leaving the girls (well, he called them "his girls") to say goodbye. Carla clung to Eric's leg, like she had done on the first few days of school, not wanting him to go. After some persuading and Eric's promise of coming home soon, Carla finally let go of Eric with tears in her eyes.
"Where did Daddy go?" Carla asked her mother.
"Carls, Daddy had to go with Horatio for work. You know that," Calleigh explained, gently, having answered the same question a minimum of fifty times this week. Carla had asked the same question time and again, making Calleigh know that she had another boatload of questions to follow; Carla was very analytical for her age.
"Why didn't Frank go with him?" she asked. Carla had been to the lab enough times to know that Frank always seemed to be where Horatio was, she just didn't know that was because Frank was Horatio's detective and it was Frank's job to be with Horatio while interviewing a suspect or discussing evidence pertaining to a case.
"Because Horatio thought it would be best if Daddy was the one to go with him," Calleigh said. "They're a very good team."
"Oh," Carla sighed, a bit disappointed. She had been clearly looking for an excuse in which someone else could go with Horatio and Eric could be home, but her hopes had been shut down. Horatio had talked to Eric and Calleigh about him sitting this one out, in which they all thoroughly thought about, considering they had a newborn and a five-year-old at home. But when it came down to the solid facts about Eric and Horatio, they were, as Calleigh said, a good team and best suited for the job in Pensacola.
"But the good thing is," Calleigh grinned, gently pulling Carla into an one-armed embrace, Carla cuddling against her side. "He'll be home Friday night, just in time for the weekend. So, you, me and Jackson are going to have two full days with him before you have to go back to school," she said, making her daughter and herself feel a bit more positive about Eric returning, especially since Calleigh and Eric were going to take a personal day on Saturday to make up for lost time.
"Will I be better by then?" Carla asked, hopefully.
"I hope so," Calleigh sighed as Carla stifled a yawn. "But do you know what will make you better quicker?"
"What?" Carla questioned, obviously eager to be back to her normally flu-free self.
"You getting some more sleep," Calleigh whispered, standing up and gently smoothing the sheet to rest comfortably around Carla's little body.
"Okay," she sighed, tiredness already starting to overcome her as she snuggled into her pillows and held her stuffed animal closer to her chest. Calleigh brushed the stray hairs out of her eyes and her ear, fingertips gently caressing her soft cheek as she gently kissed Carla's forehead.
"Goodnight, sweetheart," she breathed as Carla closed her eyes. "I love you."
"I love you, Momma," Carla mumbled as she slowly fell asleep.
Calleigh stood watching over her until she was certain that Carla was asleep, safe within her subconscious, free from the pain that was influenza and the anguish of missing a father.
Finally, Calleigh decided it was time for herself to get some rest, it was almost two in the morning and she wanted to get a bit of rest before Jackson decided to wake up again. Calleigh switched off the lamp and made her way towards the door, only turning around to whisper "sweet dreams" to the sleeping child before heading back down the hall.
Calleigh knew that the second she stepped into that room would she begin thinking about Eric and missing him again. Her children had taken up her attention, distracting her from her personal pains for a time for their sakes, but now her mind was back to the longing for her husband; more so now, especially after her talk with Carla. She had hoped her tactics to making her feel better about missing Eric would have the same effect on her. Unfortunately, Calleigh's thoughts weren't easily as swayed nor was she easily as comforted as her daughter's.
She found herself slipping into the same routine as before: watching the rotation of the ceiling fan, hearing her own breath and repeating how there were only three more days until he would return. This was enough to make her slip into a dreamless, uneasy, sleep.
But her slumber was short lived; the clock on the side read that it had only just passed three. Calleigh groaned with tiredness as she thought about what could have awoken her. Something in her mind told her she heard the sound of a car close to the house, but that could have just been someone passing by; it had been something distinct that had wakened her. She wasn't certain, but she thought she heard Jackson cry out, even though he wasn't doing so now. Calleigh thought that it could have been her imagination, but her maternal instincts were cranked up to high and she wasn't going to be able to sleep if she didn't at least go and check on him.
Sighing, Calleigh got out of bed and made the same journey back down the hall she hadn't even made an hour ago. She came to the door and was about to open it when she noticed a light coming from under the door, Calleigh was certain she had turned the light off before leaving the nursery last time.
Shrugging it off, Calleigh twisted the brass doorknob and opened the door; what Calleigh saw made her catch her breath in surprise and delight.
There he was, doing what he did best, being a father. He was gently rocking his son back to sleep as he stood next to the crib, an immeasurable smile forming on his lips. Calleigh thought her heart was going to rupture from being so overjoyed. Somewhere in the back of her mind was a curiosity of why he had suddenly arrived when he wasn't due back for a few more days, but she could care less right now; all that mattered to her was that he was home.
Eric looked up at her and smiled as he saw her standing in the doorway.
"Hi," he greeted her.
"Hey," she smiled, laughingly, but softly as not to wake Jackson. She walked towards Eric, wrapping an arm around his waist. "I missed you," she breathed as she stretched up on her toes to kiss him. When he kissed her back, the little piece of her heart and soul that she was missing came back to her, almost as though he had been holding it for her this whole time.
"I missed you, too," Eric whispered when the kiss broke. "I missed all of you," he added, gently rocking Jackson against him.
Calleigh smiled at the sight of the two of them and Calleigh could see that Eric's tone was now happier than it had been over the phone when they had spoken earlier that evening, his optimism had returned just from being back home.
"Case get wrapped up early?" Calleigh assumed.
"Yeah," Eric nodded. "We caught the killer, Horatio had a few loose ends to tie up that he said he could handle by himself and sent me home," he explained with a satisfied shrug.
Calleigh chuckled, resting her head against Eric's bicep.
"Good ol' H," she smiled. "You didn't tell me this over the phone," Calleigh smirked, raising an eyebrow.
"Cal, that would ruin the idea of a surprise," he pointed.
"True," Calleigh admitted with a nod.
The two took a moment to allow their eyes to be transfixed on their son, both letting the atmosphere of how life should always feel sink back into the pores of their soul.
"How's Carla doing?" Eric asked, having been slightly worried about his daughter's health since he found out she was sick via phone call.
"Her fever has broken, she should be back to mass destruction in no time," Calleigh added the last part as a joke, in which Eric chuckled at. "Have you seen her yet?"
"No, not yet," Eric shook his head, a bit sad; apparently he had missed Carla as much as she missed him…the same could be said for the other two.
"Well, why don't you give me this little bundle of joy and you can go say hi to her," Calleigh suggested, gently taking Jackson within her arms, both moving as to not awake him.
"Okay," Eric agreed. "Be right back."
Calleigh nodded, gently rocking Jackson to keep him from waking back up.
"By the way," Eric whispered, once again placing his lips to hers. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Calleigh smiled. "I'm really glad your back."
"Me too," he grinned, his words as sincere as hers. "And I love you," he whispered, gently laying his lips against Jackson's forehead before giving Calleigh one last smile before walking out of the room, closing the door on the way. He probably guessed that Carla wasn't going to be very quiet about this and didn't want her to awake her little brother; though Calleigh had doubts that a piece of wood barely an inch long was going to stop the voice of Carla.
Calleigh heard the sound of the door down the hall opening and him stepping inside their daughter's bedroom. Calleigh supposed Eric had either been so quiet that she didn't hear him through the drywall or that he had gently shaken her awake and that's why she didn't hear Eric. What she did hear was…
"Daddy!" Carla squealed in delight, Calleigh could almost see her throwing her arms around Eric's neck as a smile identical to the one Eric was sure to be wearing would appear.
Jackson heard the noise and he whimpered slightly as he wriggled in her arms.
"Shh," she whispered, soothingly. "It's okay, babe, he's home now. Everything is okay."