I know this isn't what you asked for, but I was feeling the need for some angst today. And this is only a oneshot. I hope you like it!
"Caitlyn." Shane greeted her grimly, her name sounded like he was spitting out a nasty taste. He was on the verge of a temper tantrum. Caitlyn infuriated him like nothing else. And today was even one of his good days.
"Shane." She growled back. How she hated him right now. How she wished he would just go away and never ever come back. Her heart was broken into a million different pieces and it was all Shane's fault. Everything was Shane's fault now.
"I don't want this to be a secret anymore, Cait. I don't want to be lying to Mitchie's face every day. I want to stop pretending."
"We can't stop pretending, Shane! We'd be the biggest scandal of Camp Rock! Not to mention we would both break Mitchie's heart! She's convinced that you're the best thing that's ever happened to her. If we told now, she'd never look at me again, and she's the closest thing I have to real family." Caitlyn pleaded with him. Mitchie was the best friend she'd ever had. She couldn't stand being responsible for her heartbreak. Not when all she ever got anywhere else was heartbreak.
"But I don't love her! I love you!" Shane's voice rose.
A tear made its way down Caitlyn's cheek. She swiped at it with the back of her hand. No, no, no. He loved her. She knew that. She loved him, too. "That's just the problem. It's wrong! It's the worst kind of wrong! She can't know!"
Shane shook his head. "She has to! How long do you think we can keep this quiet!? Are we going to go on like this in the dark, behind closed doors forever?!"
Caitlyn knew it wouldn't work. It wouldn't work either way. She'd either lose her best friend or herself. Both ways, she was a horrible person. And she always would be.
"Then we can't do this at all." She said the words flatly.
Shane's face fell. For a moment he looked like he was going to break down and cry, like he would get on his knees and beg for anything to happen but that. But he took a breath.
"Fine." He said calmly. His eyes hard, his voice full of nothing.
Caitlyn could feel her own face wavering, but she stayed composed.
"Fine."
They loved each other. They loved each other so much that it hurt. They hated each other because of how much they loved each other. And they were both thoroughly ruined. Now Shane was going to pretend like he loved Mitchie. Caitlyn would pretend not to care and to crush on the insufferable Nate, just to make Mitchie happy. They would both become something the opposite of themselves to please someone else. Shane to please Caitlyn, and Caitlyn to please Mitchie.
But Shane wasn't pleasing Caitlyn and Caitlyn wasn't pleasing Mitchie. In fact, Mitchie had known from almost the start what was going on. Oh, yes. Mitchie knew. She knew all the gory details. She had overheard many hushed conversations and accidentally witnessed many secret meetings. Yet she still loved Shane. She still loved Caitlyn. So much that it hurt her, too.
They both hurt her. It hurt her to know that he loved Caitlyn more than her. It hurt her to know how much Caitlyn cared about her and how much she wanted to protect her. She wasn't protecting her. Neither of them were. Mitchie had never been protected, no matter how much either of them had tried in their different ways.
But she also felt the hurt that they were feeling towards each other. She felt the love they felt towards each other. She felt the confusion and hate they had for the love they had for each other. She hated how it was all her fault, even if she hadn't done anything. She hated how she was to blame, even though Caitlyn and Shane never would blame her. She hated herself for not hating them. She hated herself for loving them, and she hated herself for ruining them.
All three of them had been hurt unintentionally. All three of them had hurt another unintentionally. Now all that's left is ruins.
I'm pretty happy with this. I didn't think I had it in me. It's so much different than my other things, I think. There's no happy ending to this.
Pleasepleaseplease review. Tell me what you think. Thanks bunches for reading! :)
